Singing pilot pranked with fake plane simulator!

It is time to find out who will be tonight's unexpected star of the show! This is Stuart. He is originally from Manchester, he now lives in London, and he is actually a pilot for British Airways. Oh, he's a very dashing pilot. He thinks he's coming to a fear of flying course, which he's actually helping run, and that is just around the corner from this theatre, and we can now go to it live. That's straight in the middle, that's happening right now. That is happening just yards from the back of this theatre, and he has no idea what's in store for him. He is going to be taken into an aeroplane. We have a fuselage of an aeroplane. He's going to get in it, he's going to sit alone in the aeroplane on this very stage, then the front will fall down, and he will be sitting there in front of all of you, and it's been his dream to sing on a West End stage. Tonight, his dream is going to come true. And my dream is that it works, OK? So, Stuart's biggest fans are, of course, his family. They've nominated him, they're here in the audience tonight, so let's find out a little bit more about Stuart before we bring him up. Down here, we have Alan, Sue and Brenda. CHEERING OK. Brenda, you're Stuart's grandmother? Yes. Is that right? Have you come from Manchester? Yes. Are you excited? Oh, I am, yes. Nervous? Apparently, you've come to this very theatre with Stuart, is that right? Yes, yes. What did you come to see? 42nd Street. And did Stuart enjoy the performance? He said, I've always wanted to sing on this stage, and it will be a dream for me. Oh, God! LAUGHTER That is wonderful. You've heard him sing before, yourself? Oh, yes, yes. And how did that start, Mum? He started when he was about 18 years old in our local pub. Right. Singing away and karaoke, but he was working in the pub as well. And the landlady said, I'd like you to do a show in the pub, and it just excelled from there. You're much more northern than Nan. What's happened, Nan? Have you been watching too much Downton Abbey, Nan? What's happened? He came with Stuart to this theatre several times to watch 42nd Street. What about you, Mum? Well, he didn't karaoke when he was about 18. So, how do you think he's going to react, Nan? He will definitely be surprised, believe me. Well, thank you so, so much for nominating him. Brenda Sue and Alan, there is the aeroplane. I know this doesn't look very much like an aeroplane at the moment from the outside, but wait till you see what it's like inside. So, I'm going to show you inside now. So, here we go. Can you see me? Amazing. What's going to happen is that Stuart is having his talk outside. He's going to be brought through. They're going to tell him that they're taking him through to this simulator to test turbulence in an actual fuselage of an aeroplane. So, we go through... Oh, you won't even believe this. So, in we go, through into the actual plane. Just check this out. So, this is an actual plane, and everything is as you would hope. This is where Stuart's going to sit. He'll strap up, awaiting the turbulence, which will never come, because this will collapse. So, here we go. We've probably all been in this situation before. There's always a little trouble as to find which is your seatbelt, rather than various seatbelts. Then I normally have to go all the way. I don't know about you. But I will take this to its absolute maximum. I'm going to give you a little bit of room. That pops in there, nice and relaxed. And then rude people, as soon as the sign's off, they go, bing, they will immediately recline. Rude, you know who you are, you don't need to recline. As soon as it's off, they'll just go, right, that's me. Just so you know, the person sitting behind you is staring at the back of your head, complaining to the whole room, look at this guy, look at this rude recliner. Because the more polite of us, and you also know who you are, and I count myself among them, you will do it in increments. Just every sort of ten minutes, I will slowly... This will be a little bit... And then there you are, after 40 to 50 minutes, and they're behind you going, how the hell did he do that?! Yes, that's the idea. Slow, incremental reclining. Then you've got your blanket, if it gets chilly, shoes tend to go off. Always a little bit embarrassing. So they always say, leave your seatbelt on. They say, leave it on in case of turbulence. So you have to leave your seatbelt on, then the blanket goes there, then you try and sleep, but then sometimes the stewardess, there's turbulence, the stewardess comes round, she goes, excuse me, sir, is the seatbelt on? And it's a very awkward moment, when you have to lift the rector. Yes. Very awkward moment, I'm sure we've all been through. So you've got all the things here, the armrests move, the tray comes down, we've even got food here, which we can go through, which is absolutely revolting. We've got the hardest, the hardest bread you'll ever get in the world. And then, of course, they come down and they go, would you like the chicken or the fish? Chicken or the fish, sir? We've got chicken or fish? And you go, oh, I think I'll have the chicken. They go, we're out of chicken. Right, that's for offering the chicken. So, as you all know, for take-off, they always tell you to put the blind up. They go, make sure, sometimes you're about to take off, everything's fine, and they go, excuse me, sir, could you just pop your blind up? We need all the blinds up for take-off. Really, this blind is linked to the engine of the plane, is it? Is the captain up there going, something seems to be wrong? Have you checked all the blinds? 32B, check with 32B. All right, whoa, that's better. Yes. All right, so this is where he'll come. That's another thing that happens, is when it ends, because it's a race, isn't it, to get off the plane? It's a race. You pretend you're not racing, don't you? You look around. As soon as you get there, you're looking around. They always go, welcome to such-and-such. You have arrived. Please wait for the seatbelt sign to go off. But everybody is waiting. They might as well say, body marks, get set, go. Plane. So, this is our arrivals board, and in it, we can hopefully see the room next door. So, there's Stuart there, chatting away, and they are giving their... Oh, he's very good at passing that board to the next pilot. You know, there's only two pilots to fly a plane. We need three to give this course for six people. So, that is the talk going on at the moment. Turbulence is uncomfortable, but not dangerous. Close your eyes, everybody. Say it again. Don't look. Turbulence is uncomfortable, but not dangerous. In that room, we have some actors, of course, because none of this is real, and I can actually communicate with those actors, and we'll see how Stuart reacts. So, this lady is called Donna, and I'm going to ask Donna, Donna, if you can hear me, make a noise like an airport announcement, and say, Captain Stuart, Donna has a question. One more till I leave a message. Ding-dong! Captain Stuart, Donna has a question. I've just backed up my computer to the cloud. So, I've just backed up my computer to the cloud. If you fly through it, will everyone see my personal data? Um, no. I think it's just a... It's like a pseudo kind of thing, isn't it, the cloud? It's just to say it's up there, isn't it? I'm not quite sure. Can I have your number, just in case I think of any questions later? Can I get your number, so if I have any questions later, I can just... As long as they're flying-related. OK. Just go, bing-bong, no further questions. Bing-bong! OK. Now, ladies and gentlemen, outside this fear of flying course, we have Graham, the very nervous flyer. Head on in, Graham. Just say, I'm sorry I'm late. I couldn't find a place to park. So I've been circling for half an hour? So I've been circling for half an hour. Did you get your outfit? I'm very, very nervous. I got all this on eBay. Oh, good. Fantastic. Do you want some water? Can I get ice and a slice, please? Well, yes, please, an ice and a slice, please. Could you move up a bit? I need to sit on the aisle. My bladder. My bladder. OK. Put your case up. Don't worry, you haven't missed much. All right, sit down. Do your belt up. OK. You're right. Just take a minute and relax. OK. All right. OK, so we were talking about jet streams... Graham. ..behind a heavier aeroplane. Could you just say, where are the emergency exits? Where are the emergency exits? Um, behind you. Donna, can you say under what circumstances would you need a life jacket? Under what circumstances would you need a life jacket? If we are in a ditching scenario... What is ditching? ..we're going into water. What is ditching? It's called ditching, where we have to prepare the aircraft for a landing on water. But what if there's no water? Then we don't need life jackets. Graham, say, is ditching an emergency? Is ditching... Is it an emergency? Yes. OK, inflate your life jacket. Graham, say, sorry, I didn't know it was going to do that. Sorry, I didn't know it was going to do that. OK, let's bring him up. Two, three, four. And in two, three, four. Sorry, just to... I've got the plane up and running. Oh, great. Who can I grab, just to have a look at the settings? Can I keep Steve, because the next bit's really important? Stu, would you mind doing that? Yeah. Sorry, sir, we'll be with you soon. OK, here we go. Great, so... The next time we see Stuart, he'll be with us. And then the guys have just been doing it all day today, getting all up and running. Have a look at this. What is it in the vehicle? It's in a massive warehouse. So this is just a little bit. So I just want to check the settings, the turbulence, so if you just want to sit in there for me. That's amazing, isn't it? Yeah, put your seatbelt on, because I just want to set the levels. Fantastic. Yeah, looks good there, doesn't it? Very good. I'll be back in one minute. Stuart, you seem very much in shock. This... I am in shock. ..is Michael McIntyre's big show. You are here because you've been nominated by your family. You are not here for a fear of flying course. You have no idea where you are. You have been in this theatre before. It's the Palladium. It is not the Palladium. It's the Lyceum, I mean. No, it's not the Lyceum. Keep going. You're embarrassing us. We are in central London, you know that. You came here with Brenda, your nun. Oh, it's Theatre Royal. It is. You're in the Theatre Royal. You are standing on the stage. Yes. Now, you've dreamed of standing on this stage. Yes. Well, your family think you're an amazing singer. You are here to be the unexpected star... Good Lord. ..of tonight's show. Which means... You have until the end of this show. We're going to take you backstage. You've got a whole huge performance set up for you going to close tonight's show. So, this will be not only for the 2,500 people here tonight, but the millions watching at home. But you must know that each and every one of us here are so behind you and willing you to do well. If you will be our unexpected star of tonight's show... Oh, it would be an honour. Very, very sweet. OK. So, if you'd like to come over here. This is actually your outfit for later. And I've got you a few toiletries here. So, if you take that. Also, of course, everybody in the room you were just in, you can see them. They are all, of course, actors. None of those people are real. So, as you've forced us so many times to do it, will you perform the most unnecessary of all walks? Please, slowly make your way all the way and someone will meet you. Ladies and gentlemen, it's our unexpected star of... Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome our unexpected star of tonight's show, it's Stuart! CHEERING The impossible dream To fight The unbeatable foe To bear With unbearable sorrow And to run Where the brave dare not go This is my quest To follow that star No matter how fast No matter how far To fight for the right Where the quest of all falls To be willing to march into hell For a heavenly cause And I will always be true In this glorious quest And the war Will be better than this That wand Scorned and covered with scars Still strong With his last ounce of courage And to reach The unreachable Star And yet I will hurt The unreachable Star Thank you very much.