Why I’ve Avoided Pursuing a “Career” — Finding Identity, Purpose & Peace

Today I want to talk about why I never pursued a career and I think I'm happier for it. And I'm, you know, 50s very close. So I thought this would be helpful especially for younger folks who feel lost and confused. I think one of the most toxic things of American society is that we always talk about following your passion, chasing your passion, whatever. I'm not going to criticize people who have careers that they absolutely love because there are many people out there who do love their work despite the many of us who aren't in love with what we do. You know if you are a yoga instructor and you get to travel the world and teach all over the place sounds like a pretty neat job. You know maybe you're a children's book illustrator and you absolutely love your work and you wouldn't trade it for anything or maybe you're a professional rock climber and you get to see and climb some of the most majestic and breathtaking mountains across the world or maybe you're an investigative journalist. I think the key to knowing for sure whether you love your work is whether you would wake up and want to do it regardless of whether you got paid or not. And so for all of you, including me, who never knew exactly what they wanted to do, they had some interest but not necessarily a passion so to speak and didn't know what to do with themselves and then just chose a random path, or you're a younger person looking as to what to do next, this is for you. So I'm going to start by just telling a story of me in college. Senior year I was very much, how do I say, I felt very much behind my classmates and it was March and I did not know what I was doing next and graduation was on the horizon. It was in May and I didn't have a job. I didn't even have a clue as to where to start and then one of the administrators of my high school knew some people and was well connected and suggested that I interview for a position at a marketing firm and they knew the owner CEO of the company. Actually he might have just been the CEO, I don't know if he was the owner. But anyway, so I interviewed and I got the job and when I got the offer well I should start by saying I had anxiety, a bit of anxiety at the idea of interviewing and I had anxiety before the interview and I thought I was just nervous, but when the job offer came I went into a full panic attack. I actually started hyperventilating and my whole body tensed up and I really, you know, I was struggling to breathe and and I couldn't and of course that that anxiety attack passed, but I still had serious anxiety about it and I just I couldn't do it. My whole body was telling me don't do it, don't do it. I have to say I'm not, I was never passionate about selling, you know, and marketing is selling in some sense. You are pitching your company, your company's product or service to the public or to other businesses and it's just, I don't know, I've never been a seller. I don't, if I ever recommend something to someone it's because I have experience with something and I had a great experience with that product or service and therefore I would feel comfortable recommending it, but I would never just sell something to sell something just to collect a paycheck and I think that's what it was, but I had a certain amount of time to accept the offer and I declined and they were shocked first of all because I came by recommendation of a very close friend of the CEO's and then that administrator of my high school who recommended me really kind of got quite mad at me and understandably so because this person used, you know, they used their position and their connections to assist me and I turned it down and so that was just a disappointment for both of them, but you know looking on many decades on it was not a disappointment for me and ultimately I should have just listened to the signs that my body was giving me at the thought of even just having the interview and just finished it that like not even accepted an interview or even said yes to the idea of it. That would have been the responsible solution, but I didn't. I wasn't, I was a lost confused college student and there was a lot of pressure to just feel like I was doing something and that's a shitty feeling if anyone knows it and you feel like you're being left behind so to speak because everyone's going off and launching these these careers of theirs in big major cities and so of course when someone tells me why don't you interview I know the CEO of this big marketing firm in a major U.S. city then part of your brain is telling you to do it even though instinctively you know it's not correct for you. So I declined and and ever since then I will say that I don't have a career because I I personally was not in tune with myself and what I wanted to do when I grew up so to speak. I think I'm slowly figuring that out but you know so I'm saying this with 50 on the horizon because I've led a very interesting life. It's not successful by the standard model of which most people in this country judge success. You know I don't have a massive bank account. I'm not broke but I don't have a massive bank account. I don't have my 401k. I don't have a mortgage on a house. I never bought a house. I don't have a you know like I just I don't have the conventional success model. I don't have a career right. So I guess my point is is that after college I just kind of wandered and I think we are so hard on ourselves that we don't tend to let ourselves wander when wandering can sometimes be the best thing for us because it helps us discover who we are in different contexts and just not just context but also geography. I did kind of bounce around quite a bit. I you know I lived abroad for a long time in many countries and and worked as well legally but I developed many different skills none of which point to a certain career but certainly have transferred into valuable skills for other industries and other types of work. So I think that's really interesting. I or I should say it's great because I pursued a life that is interesting and kind of followed my nose, followed my curiosity instead of trying to build a career. Again you know there are trade-offs with everything. I'm not saying that this is the answer for everyone and I believe anyone can do this at any age. You can change. You just have to look at what you're saying yes to and by saying yes to those things what are you saying no to. For example I knew that if I bought a house or a condo or something that I would be chained to a mortgage and therefore that mortgage would chain me to a job and if I you know and a job that pays me enough to cover maintenance, mortgage, insurance, property taxes and I didn't want those golden handcuffs. I wanted a bit more freedom to change and to grow and to move as I saw fit and you know there are some people who do really well with a structured conventional life and you know more to power to them. No criticism but I knew that that wasn't for me and I think that's the most important thing is finding out what's not right for us because usually it's easier to figure out what's not right for us than it is to find out what is right for us and eventually we find our way and move in the direction that is best for us you know finding our true north so to speak. So again I may not be I may not fit the mold for conventional success but I have to say I'm I aside from working on my health through juice fasting at the moment which is going really well but I'll do a separate video on that you know I'm quite content I'm quite happy my needs are simple I really find great enjoyment being outdoors and being active you know I love living in the mountains it's fantastic and you know except the extra long winter yikes but yeah I think it's really important that we stop pressuring ourselves into fitting into the societal mode a mold especially in the U.S. and I know this is this is also very strong in Asia you know fitting the societal mold and just you know ignoring parts of us that are actually essential to our happiness so you know if you are if you don't if you're willing to risk being judged by other people whether they're close to you or not and just following your interests and doing what's right for you and that brings you peace of mind then this is this is the sort of path for you I have to say that I don't have the stresses that my you know my former classmates have I don't you know I don't have any of that of course I also don't you know have certain things that they have as well so they're again everything's a trade-off but I don't have the financial pressures they have and I don't have to stay in a job or just jump from one corporate firm to another I just I don't have to if I will if I want to leave a job I can leave it and I don't have to worry about how am I going to make next month's mortgage or how am I going to pay for you know this $700 car payment or whatever it is because apparently the average car payment in America is somewhere upwards of like 600 or 700 dollars right now and that's insane I mean you know each to each your own but that I would never do that and another thing I'd like to mention is that if you don't follow a career sure you may not make as much money and I am by career I mean like a corporate career or you know you you own your own business not because you love it but it's a business that you'd be good at so you do it and that is that I don't go home and think about work I do not stress about it I think I can count on my hand how many days I've stressed about work in the last five years on one hand and it doesn't even fill one hand so there's something there's something in that you know and of course you have to simplify your needs you have to simplify your bills and people always say they can't do something oh you can do that but I can't it's like no you're choosing not to instead of thinking why you can't do something it's important to think about why how and why you can do something and what the benefits might be and then compare and contrast instead of writing off ideas before you've even explored them that's what keeps people in a cycle of anxiety stress and misery so anyway I I know that the way I live is not for everyone and I'm not judging anyone on their choices I'm just offering this information in case it's valuable to to to you or to anyone else who may see this video and I just wish you the best I hope everyone has a great day if you feel like sharing your experiences about work and life and stress or your own life path feel free to share it in the comment section below I'm always interested in hearing other people's stories and experiences this is how we all grow and expand our lives and you know and start to understand each other instead of just hate each other so anyway have a great rest of your day and I look forward to seeing you in the next video