Let's talk: 3 to 4 Years

When it comes to speech and language, the first five years of life are filled with excitement. The communication skills your child develops during this time will have a major impact on your child's experiences throughout his or her life, at school, in relationships, at work, and in day-to-day life. And as a parent, there's a great deal you can do to help support your child's language development. But how do you know if your child's communication skills are developing on track? The first step is to know what your child should be able to do at each stage. Each of these accomplishments is called a milestone. Think of every milestone as being built on building blocks. After each milestone is reached, the foundation is laid for the next one. The more blocks you have, the more solid your structure. This program will demonstrate some of the communication milestones your child should be reaching at about this age. It will also show you how to give your child the building blocks needed to help him or her reach those milestones. The year between the ages of three and four is an exciting one. Your child's ability to communicate takes a giant leap during this year. By the age of four, your child's grasp on language allows him to express his needs and feelings clearly, which means that there may be less frustration and fewer tantrums caused by communication breakdowns. With the help of Keegan and his mom, let's review some of the milestones your child should reach by his fourth birthday. Uses adult-type grammar. By this age, your child should be using full sentences that are similar to the type of sentences an adult would use. I'm having pizza. I have to have it first. Then the cake. A cake? Wow, is it your birthday? It's all of our birthdays. Everybody's birthday. Can I have some more material? Some more dishes? Well, here's some dishes on our tray. Asks and answers questions about who, what, where, why, when, and how. I do have a knife, too. I'll hold this side, you cut the other side. Good. Here's your pizza. Thank you. Where's my bowl? Here's your bowl. And where's the corn sauce? I see corn sauce over there. Maybe I'd like to try some corn sauce on my pizza. Thank you. Knock, knock, knock. Somebody's at the door. Who? Puppy, are you ready? He's hungry. Did you forget about Puppy? Yes, I'm going to make him some coffee for me and him. Okay. Can clearly say these sounds in words. You do it. Can you help me? First you have to... Fill up the gas. Fill up with gas. Make sure there's lots of gas. And what happens if we run out of gas? It stops going. Our car will stop going and we won't be able to work. ...is understood by strangers almost all of the time. Listen to Keegan talk. He's speaking clearly enough that we can understand most of what he's saying. It's broke. I broke it. Yes, you broke it. It's broken. There we go. It's full of oil. What if it's not? Then we would stop running. If it's not, it would stop running. You're right. Pretend it stops running when the car is going, okay? Okay, we'll pretend it stops running. When? When the car is going, okay? What else do you have to fix? What else do you have to check? The tires. Can follow a three-part command. For example, get your coat, put it on, and go outside. In this next clip, watch how Keegan responds to his mom's request for what she would like on her cake. On my cake, I would like raspberries, kiwi, and pineapple. Kiwi? Tomato? I would just want kiwi. No, I still think I would like raspberries, kiwi, and pineapple. But we don't have any pineapple. Sorry, ma'am. We don't have any pineapple. How about this? That looks like pineapple. Thank you. Delicious. Is able to create simple rhymes. Tire and what rhymes with tire? Fire. Tire, fire. They both... Rhyme. Door and four. Door and four. They both... Four. Good, door. Four. Open the door. Recognizes some letters and words. What's it say? Good, it has the letter... S. That's the right... That's the sound S and S. And S. That's the sound for S and it says... S-T-O-P spells... Stop. Tell stories with a clear beginning, middle, and end. Puppy, are you ready? He's hungry. Did you forget about Puppy? Yes. I'm going to make him some coffee for me and him. Okay. He likes it like that. He likes his coffee with shrimp? Shh. Not mixed, he likes it like that. He doesn't like his mixed. And neither do you. Now, here. He likes Puppy's pizza burnt. Where's the burner? That's your pan, the stove? Right there. There's the burner. And he likes it burnt. Ding. Ding, it's ready. Where's the bowl? Another bowl? Here we go, a bowl for you. These are some of the milestones your child should be reaching by the age of four. But it's important to remember that every child is unique and will reach milestones at his or her own pace. However, some children have difficulty developing normal speech and language skills, and may need extra help from a specialist. It's important for these children to get help early to prevent more problems later on, and so that they can reach their fullest potential. Be sure to speak with your health care provider if your child is not understood by others 75% of the time. Uses words in an immature or unusual way. Repeats rather than responds. Repeats words or syllables. Stretches out sounds and words. Gets stuck starting to say sounds or words. Has a rough, raspy voice lasting longer than one month. Or if you have any other concerns about his development. Now, let's look at some important ways that you as a parent can help your child continue to build his language skills. You've probably noticed that your three-year-old loves to ask questions and is curious about everything. This is a great opportunity to share interesting conversations and promote your child's growing understanding of the world while helping build his language skills. Here are some important ways that you can support this stage of your child's development. Your child is starting to put together more complex sentences at this age. Be sure to speak with your child often, using full sentences and good grammar. This way, you're modeling for him how to put words and sentences together in the proper way. I would like to have some tea, please. I prefer tea. Do you like milk in your tea? I do love milk in my tea. And I like a little... oh, thank you. That's my milk. I like milk and sugar in my tea. Put a little bit of milk in there. Where's the sauce? I need to put some on the pizza. Where is it? The pizza's in front. Oh, that must be my corn syrup. And ketchup in my tea. That's going to be the best tea. Where's the shrimp? The what? Oh, the shrimp. And shrimp in my tea. Delicious! And a little bit more milk. A little bit more milk. A little bit more ketchup. Oh, I think you better stir it. Why? So it'll taste better. It's natural to want to use questions to keep the conversation going with a child. But too many questions can also end the conversation. Especially if it seems like you're using them to test your child's knowledge. It's okay to ask some questions when you're taking turns talking. But be sure to also add comments. Just as you would with an adult. One way to be sure you don't ask questions that will stop the conversation is to follow this rule. If you know the answer to the question, don't ask it. Knock, knock, knock. Somebody's at the door. Who? Puppy, are you ready? He's hungry. Did you forget about Puppy? Yes, I'm going to make him some coffee for me and him. Okay. He likes it like that. He likes his coffee with shrimp? Not mixed, he likes it like that. He doesn't like his mixed, and neither do you. Should Puppy use a cup or a bowl? Children should be starting to use the past tense at this stage to describe things that have already happened. This is an important skill for conversation and for storytelling. You can help your child learn this skill by emphasizing the parts of words that show they're in the past tense. For example, the dog jumped over the box. Also emphasize irregular past tense verbs. For example, you drank all the juice. Watch how Keegan's mom places emphasis on the past tense. I washed this plate. Oh, sorry, I washed that bowl. And I washed a spoon, a fork, and a knife. Encourage your child to tell you about feelings and ideas. This is an important skill as it will help him to be able to express his own feelings and also to feel empathy for other people. Did you ever go in the bucket truck? What did it feel like being way up high with the trees? Good, but just for this one time. You went just one time. Was it scary? No, you liked it. Who do we have now? I want to do it again. Children this age love books, so be sure to encourage your child's love of books by reading together often. Your child is now able to handle more complex stories with a beginning, a series of events in the middle, and an ending. The best books for this age are those that appeal to your child's interests. Fairy tales and books with imaginary themes are often popular choices. Use a lot of expression and animation in your voice while reading. Your child will love this because it makes reading fun and it will help him connect and pay attention to the story. First you have to... Fill up the gas. Fill up with gas. Make sure there's lots of gas. And what happens if we run out of gas? It stops going. Our car will stop going and we won't be able to work. Next you have to... Check the oil. It's good. It's full. Close the hood. When you're reading together, point to printed words and the pictures that go with them as you read. This will help your child make the connection that printed words talk and that they're another way of communicating. Watch as Keegan's mom points out the printed words on and off to him and how he makes the connection with what they each mean. On, off, on, off. You're right. This one says... On. Off. This says on. O-N spells on. And... Off and... On. Are you off-duty or on-duty right now? Off-duty. You're off-duty. Now you're... On-duty. Can you make it so the lights are on to one piece? Give your child opportunities to regularly play with other children. This is important for helping him develop his social communication skills. By playing with other kids, he learns how to interact, listen, take turns, and share with other children who aren't always as accommodating as adults. In other words, he's learning how to communicate and get along with his peers in the real world beyond his family. These are communication and social skills that he'll need at school and throughout his life. In this program, we've reviewed some of the milestones your child should reach at about this age and some simple ways that you can support his or her growing communication skills. You're encouraged to return to this resource at each step of your child's development. And remember, if at any stage you have concerns about your child's speech and language development, don't hesitate to talk to your health care provider. By using the simple tips we've discussed in this program, and by getting help for any communication problems early, you can help pave the way for your child's future success.