CUSTOM LOVE ｜ Omeleto Comedy

Dear Diary, I think today is finally going to be the day. Steve knows how important Valentine's Day is to me. I had to pick the right dress. I could just picture the ring on my finger. I practised my perfect I do. I was ready. Oh, that was the doorbell. Gotta go! Steve, hey! You look amazing. Thank you. Are you going to come in for a drink? No time. I've booked us somewhere. Oh, where are we going? I thought we could go to our favourite restaurant, Settle's House. Oh, Steve, I adore the chicken there. Wouldn't it be nice for us to treat ourselves tonight? Oh, Steve, you're so wonderful. Hello there, I've got the two fettle cow specials. Yes, that's it. Thank you. There you go. Thanks very much. Organic chicken. Reared here on the premises. That's incredible. Anything else you need at all? No, that's it. Thank you. We've got everything we need. Thank you. Cheers. So, Sarah, I've been dating you for over four years now. And I love you. I love you too, Steve. You're so wonderful. Lately I've been thinking a lot about our future together. And I wanted to ask you a question. Yes, yes, yes. Of course I'll marry you, Steve. I knew this day would come. I'm so happy. My mother is going to be so happy. Sarah, you don't know, do you? What don't I know? You don't want to marry me? Sarah, Robotics World discovered a glitch in the functioning of my cerebral cortex. What do you mean a glitch? It's been all over the news. They think that my version will last between five and ten years. But ultimately they'll need to replace my entire brain if I'm to continue in this body. How is this possible? I've invested all of my life savings into you so I can have the perfect partner for the rest of my life. How can this be? I took the day off work and went to Robotics World for a routine check-up. They told me I'm part of a faulty line of Steve's ex-pro. There have been reports of Steve's ex-pro malfunctioning all over the country. My life is ruined. That's what I wanted to talk to you about. I thought maybe we could make the most of the time we had together. Shut up. That's not what I purchased. This is all a big waste of time and money. Now I'm never going to be married before I'm 30 and it's all your fault. It's not a waste of time and money. Well clearly it is. Steve, sorry. Is everything okay, Mia? Is it fine, Steve? Sorry, this Steve is useless so I'm going to have to start all over again. Five to ten good years and I think we could leave ex-pro. Oh no, listen, I'm not glitched. You didn't read the news today, clearly. I thought you knew. I thought you were dealing with it really well. You'll be okay. Listen, I don't need your sympathy. It might surprise you but I was actually manufactured with a glitch as well. I'm a John 3000. Oh, the John 3000s were bullshit. They're nothing but a glitch. Listen, I'm a Steve ex-pro. I'm an executive level robot. Clearly not, Steve. At the moment I am. Can't we focus on that? I'm waterproof up to 60 degrees. It's not about the waterproof. It's about the future. We can look to the future. You don't even know what your future is. What are you going to be able to do in five years? I couldn't have most of my functions still. Quite a lot of money on the robot fight club thing. A fighting robot? Is this what you want, Steve, for our future? Me at the cage every weekend watching you getting your arms ripped off by other dirty, real blood. You are not helping. I'm just saying that you can make quite a bit of money. I already make quite a bit of money. What are you lingering around for? I'm so, I'm so sorry. You're faulty John 3000. Oh, now you're really showing your true colours, aren't you, Steve? You're faulty. You're mean as well. No, I'm not. He's kind of overloading my emotion sensors here. There's a lot going on. I'm trying to talk to you. But it's starting already. You're disintegrating. No, I'm not disintegrating. Please. You're sick. You're sick. No, no. Come on. Think. We're here. I'm sorry, Steve. I wasn't even going to bring it with me tonight. No, no, no. Think about this. You've already left me with another child. Four years, Sarah. Another five at the very least. I'm sorry, Steve. I'm sorry. Oh. We can arrange it to have him delivered back to your house if you want. And picked up by Robotics World later on. Yes, that would be great. Just send it to the address on my bill. And can you just put the chicken on my tab? Yeah, no. And if you do change your mind about- I'm not going to change my mind about anything. The Fight Club, we could- We could detach his hands and- Come on. Add a chainsaw to him. What is it with these men, Mum? Can't any of them work properly like they're supposed to? I know, sweetie. Ever since real men became extinct. And trust me, real men were hard work too. The robot replacements have been just as difficult. That's why I'm my fourth husband myself. I'm just exasperated, Mother. Why can't these robots work easier? Guess I'm going to have to go through the catalogue again. Don't worry, darling. I'll give you the money as an early birthday present. Thank you, Mum. I appreciate it. And thank goodness I have you. Of course, darling. Us women have to stick together. Love you. Scrap him. There we go. Sorry, don't mind me. There we go. Sorry, don't mind us. Don't mind us. We'll pick that up in a sec. I think I heard that his eyebrows are detachable. I might add them to my moustache. Come on, give me a hand, mate.