Have You Made the Same Homeschooling Mistakes I Have?

As moms, we all want to get it right. We want to do the very best for our kids. But no matter how hard we try, we are inevitably going to make mistakes. I know I sure have made plenty of them in our 15 years of homeschooling. But I believe it's never too late to change. As someone who's a first generation homeschooler, I have made many mistakes along the way. There were some things I should have prioritized over the things I did prioritize. And I want to share them with you this week to help some of you who are new. And at the end, I also want to tell you the best way that I've learned how to avoid making future mistakes. >> Yeah. >> Good job. Are you going to do this one? >> Yeah. All done. >> If you're new to my channel, hi. My name is Sher. I'm a Christian. I'm a homeschooling mom to 10 kids. I'm married to my high school sweetheart, Nelson. and we've been married for 25 years and I love encouraging other moms in homeschooling here on my channel and also on the blog rlifehomeschooling.com. We started off our morning with banana pancakes that we made from scratch. We don't do this every morning, but every now and then it's fun to have something like this. And of course, all the kids wanted to help. And I was reminded again of something that I have learned from many years, but had almost forgotten, and that was that more than one helper in the kitchen is often just too much. The kids love to help, but um when everybody's in there, it's just a little overwhelming. After breakfast, we had morning time and then we did chores and then everyone got right to their work. Now that we're into October, all of our outside work is done. Our pigs have been processed. Our chickens are finished. They're in the freezer. Our garden is done. And I'm actually really feeling some relief that all that's behind us. And I'm ready to go all in with our book work in homeschooling, which I'm excited about because in September, we were finishing up our garden and our animal processing and also homeschooling and it was just a big juggling act. Now we can just focus on the kids and on their schoolwork. In October and November, we get a lot of book work done. This is our 16th year of homeschooling. And I've learned so much in all the years that we've been doing this. I've learned from my mistakes. I've learned that there are some things that are more important to prioritize over others. We have one child who's graduated and then our second son graduates this year. our next our oldest daughter graduates next year and you just get some perspective when you've been doing this for a while. One of the things I remember thinking when I was newer to homeschooling was that there was this magical way that homeschool is going to look or there's just kind of a right answer or a right way to do things. And um I've learned that although there are tips and tricks, there are routines that really make things easier easier and you learn a lot, you get better at it along the way, but there is no overall point of arrival. There's always an eb and flow. I thought that once we didn't have babies or toddlers anymore, this certain area would be easier. Or once I figured out this curriculum, then we could get past this issue and everything would be just right. Or once our remodeling project was done or uh some kids were sick this week and so next week it'll be different. This certain child is struggling with friendships and when we once we get past that then we'll be at a better place. But the truth is, while some things change and get better, there is a constant eb and flow. And once one issue is solved, there is always something else. There's a constant eb and flow. And so, it's really just a daily practice of relying on the Lord, doing what he's called you to do, being faithful, and being okay with it not being perfect. There are days that are great and that I would probably describe as perfect days, but there are a lot of times where there are issues that pop up in the day that I still don't know how to answer. I still don't have um the perfect solution for. There's just no one right way to do this. Every year your home is changing, the needs of your kids are changing. Their developmental stages are changing. So, it's always you're always learning and growing and there's no magical point of arrival. Now, this isn't to say that when you have certain problems, you don't stop and address them just because there's no magic answers. When we have problems, and we've had many of them in our years of homeschooling, I have learned to stop to stop everything, all the book work, and completely address the problem. Whether it's um an issue of respect for authority or a child who's being lazy and not wanting to do their work, whatever the issue is, it is worth stopping and addressing that. But you're never going to have everything just right. For lunch today, we had leftover pizza from my daughter's birthday party, which was really nice. So, I made the kids a pizza, made myself a salad, and we got to eat outside because the weather has been so beautiful. Another thing I spent a lot of time on as a new homeschool mom was curriculum. And in some ways, this is necessary because you want to make a good choice on your curriculum and you don't know what's good and what's not good. And so, it's a little bit of a gamble. And so that's that's normal to spend a lot of time thinking about that in the beginning. But uh and I'm saying this as someone who comes from a very bookish academic type bent in my personality. I love to read and I often set pretty high goals for myself and I wanted our kids education to be excellent. And for for me, excellent meant very strongly academic. And um and I'm not diminishing that at all. I I still will always probably lean that way. But I have learned that relationships are so so much more important. And if our academics have to suffer, which I don't think they do at all, but if we have to step back from academic work to focus on our relationships, I've learned that that's absolutely the most important thing. When our oldest son, Ty, who's now graduated, when he was in about 8th or 9th grade, and we were getting into those high school years, I was intimidated by high school. you know, you get through elementary and you at the end you're like, h, I've arrived. We did this. We can do this. And then high school and it's like you're back at the beginning. And I was very intimidated. So, we chose a pretty rigorous curriculum for him for high school. And he's always been someone that's a good reader, enjoys reading. So, he did the work. He read everything, but it was so rigorous. He was willing to do it, but it was not enjoyable. And I started realizing that my time with him was so short, and this was just not how I wanted to spend it. So, we completely pivoted at this point. I chose a different curriculum. I farmed out some of his classes to a local co-op, so he had some other teachers. and the relationships that uh we had with our kids and the atmosphere in our home became top priority. Things like having movie nights together, going out and playing pickle ball or soccer out in the field, having late night discussions with our teens and sometimes it gets really late. Last night we were up till midnight. These have become top priority to us even though sometimes they are very exhausting at the same time. About the same time that I realized how important relationships were and that our kids really are doing well academically even though homeschooling takes us a lot less time than traditional school. About this time, I also started realizing that the atmosphere in our home was so important and keeping things clean and neat and orderly sets up the tone for our relationships. Always remember home over school. In fact, sometimes I think about the word homeschooling itself. I've heard a lot of people don't say homeschooling. They just say home education, which I think is a better name to call it because what we're doing really looks nothing like a school at all. But if you're drowning in housework and you're overwhelmed by the mess around you, it's worth it to stop and get that taken care of. Get yourself in a better place and then open up your books. >> The next one is when 14 is divided by four, the quotient is three or pieces of pizza among all the children. Sometimes it doesn't come out even and we have one or two left over. We have remainders. So does two go into nine. We're going to count by twos on your finger. >> 2 4 6 8 10 would be two. >> Another lesson I've learned in our years of homeschooling is to let your kids see you flower in something other than your role as a homeschool mom. homeschooling your kids and managing your home, keeping up with the laundry and the meals and just everything that's involved with that can be allconsuming and completely take all your time. And there was a point for me about 8 years ago. So, we were maybe seven or eight years into homeschooling where I started noticing that I was having trouble getting interested in doing anything fun or any kind of hobby because I knew the minute I started there would be another meal to make or another interruption. And I I started realizing this was not healthy, that I didn't have any hobbies or didn't do anything that I enjoyed. I realized that I needed to make a change because what kind of mom am I if I can't even have fun? That's not the kind of mom I want to be. So, stepping away from it all and doing something with some girlfriends or enjoying a hobby that you just do all by yourself is really important. You'll enjoy life more. You'll enjoy your family more. And they will love seeing you flower in some role other than homeschool mom. is uh what's her name? >> Laughup. >> Um they says Laughup doesn't want her in there because she doesn't want any more children, but she lied and said that uh the cook has Scarlet Fever. >> Mhm. >> And so they're sending her to the Putty Cousins. >> Yeah. My daughter Julia there was giving me an oral narration, which is what we do consistently until they're old enough and ready to write written narrations. We had several butternut squash volunteer themselves in our garden this year. So, we've gotten a few that are on the counter and the kids asked if I would make this pumpkin soup that is something I like. Originally, when I made it, the kids didn't like it, but I kept making it for myself because I liked it. And now some of them have requested it, which just goes to show that it takes kids a couple of times, I think, trying something and acquiring a taste for it. I'm just really convinced that kids eat a lot like their parents. I often keep a bowl of vegetables on the table. It's mostly for me because I want to be eating more vegetables in my diet. Um, but inevitably our two-year-old will hop right on up there and he'll be chomping away at the vegetables because that's all there is. That is the snack that's out. So, it's taken a year or two, but my kids finally love this butternut squash soup that I make. Thank you. >> Thank you guys for the day. I play for my mom and dad. My grandma and grandpa. >> Our daughter Afton just learned in her botany lesson about roasting seeds. So, she wanted to try roasting the pumpkin seeds and giving them as a treat for everyone. And they were pretty tasty. >> You want to do a little more? Suit me. >> Apple. >> What is it? >> Apple. >> Apple. >> You like apples? >> Yeah. >> Okay. >> I like >> What's that animal? >> Raccoon. And what's that? >> Raccoon >> right there. No. Another lesson I've learned was realizing that I spent so much time doubting myself when really a lot of our kids' success is not dependent on us. We give ourselves way too much credit when we think the outcome of their education relies solely on us. Kids are born with a natural god-given drive to learn. And so as long as you always provide them with a rich feast of ideas, they will keep growing and learning and it may look a little differently than your style of learning or they may have interests that are just completely different than your interests. And we also need to remember that our kids belong to the Lord and he is sovereign over the circumstances in their life. When I look back and see how the Lord has provided for our kids in ways that I had not imagined at all, Psalms says that all the paths of the Lord are steadfast love and faithfulness for those who keep his covenant and his testimonies. And I've certainly seen this with our kids. As we are faithful to him in doing our job, teaching them, praying for them, he will be faithful in leading and guiding them. Lastly, I want to share with you that the best way to avoid making common mistakes and having practical wisdom for everyday life is by immersing yourself in God's word. In Proverbs, we read that the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding. What is your source? Where do you find your joy or your patience, your gentleness? Where do you find your hope and help for the decisions, the tough decisions that you have to make for today? Colossians teaches us that Christ is the source of all wisdom. It says that Christ in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge. I have made a lot of mistakes in our years homeschooling. I think of times that I just totally blew it and had to go back and apologize to the kids or had to really change my attitude. But as I have grown in my relationship with the Lord and learned to spend time every day abiding in Christ and leaning on him for instruction and direction in making decisions. The Lord has faithfully guided me. If you are a mom, no matter how old your kids are, they are still looking to their relationship with you as a source of strength. And so, because of this, it's never too late to change. Mistakes that you've made with your teenagers, when God opens your eyes and you can see how you should have done it differently, you can start this very moment and make a change. I hope this has encouraged you and I hope it will help you avoid making some of the same mistakes I've made. Thanks for watching. I do one video a week on homeschooling encouragement for everyday moms. I'll see you next week.