Kindness 101 with Steve Hartman: Fortitude

Hello everyone, welcome to Kindness 101. My name is Steve Hartman. I'm a correspondent with CBS News. I'm also a father. This is my daughter and co-teacher. Her name's Meryl. And back there we have our cameraman Emmett. I'm present for class. This is our penultimate class. Do you know what penultimate means? Nope. I'll give you a multiple choice. Okay. Do you think penultimate means really stinky and not worth watching? Not for sure. Or do you think it means second to last? Uh, second to last. I'm going to go with the second option. Yes, the second. Second to last. This is our second to last class. It's kind of sad, isn't it? But the good news is people can still watch all the old classes. They're available at cbsnews.com slash kindness 101. There they can watch honesty, courage, character, empathy, friendship, gratitude, altruism, optimism, um, optimism. Oh, service, service. Oh yeah, service. That was a good one. Okay, now on to today's lesson. You may have noticed something new on our desk. We have two forts. This one here is fort that Meryl built out of mortar and stone. And sticks. And sticks. And this is one that I built out of the two, three, four, five, six, and seven of clubs. Meryl, which fort would you rather live in? This one. Why? Um, because if there's like a thunderstorm, those, that roof couldn't like knock in or something. That's a good point. Yeah, this one seems like it could withstand a lot more adversity. And that's important not just in forts, but in people too. Whenever the world blows anything bad our way, such as that, we need something deep inside us to make us stay strong and carry on. Like Meryl's fort. And that quality is called fortitude. You can see the word fort is right there in. Fortitude. Fortitude is the emotional strength you need to get you through tough times. Today I have four stories to show you about people with tremendous fortitude. The first one is about a boy I met in Florida. He had more obstacles in his way than most kids do. But he did not let those obstacles stop him. Take a look. Every week he set himself up for disappointment. Every week Jamarion Stiles came to this community center in Boca Raton, Florida, hoping to play basketball with the other kids. And every week he was rejected. He'll start picking teams and I will be the only one left out. And then they'll just tell me just go home. You can break someone's heart like that. As we first reported a couple years ago, the problem was obvious to everyone but Jamarion. He lost his hands and most of his arms as an infant due to a rare bacterial infection. But he insisted that was no reason to give up his hoop dreams. What about soccer? Have you heard of that sport? Yeah, I hear it every day. Why don't you play soccer? That just seems like the obvious thing. You would think that I would be good at soccer. I'm really not. I'm horrible. Which is why on the first day of class here at Eagles Landing Middle School, Jamarion took his case to basketball coach Darion Williams. Said he wanted to be on the team. I said all great, we'll just make sure you try out. You say okay great, but what are you really thinking? This man has no arms. Yeah. But man, he told me, Mr. Williams, I've never been on a team before. Even if I don't play, I just want to be on the team. And how could I say no to that? And that's how the Eagles got their first armless basketball player. Jamarion, number two there, quickly earned a reputation as the hardest worker on the squad. He was usually the first one in the gym, usually the last one to leave. Still, he sat on the bench most of the season. Until one day, coach put him in the game with about six minutes left. And when he eventually got the ball on the far side of the court, everyone yelled, shoot it! So he did, and sank a three-pointer. And if you didn't quite see that, don't worry, because shortly after, he got the ball again, this time on the near side, for another three-pointer. At the buzzer, Jamarion Stiles, the kid no one would pick, was now everyone's hero. Since we first told this story, Jamarion has continued to play basketball in high school, and now the rising junior is hoping to play football as well. He tried out for the team last year and didn't make it, so of course he's trying out again. That's him there in the white shirt. And even if he doesn't make the team, you can bet there'll be another sport, because the only thing Jamarion Stiles won't play is the victim. If I could wave a magic wand right now and give you your arms back, would you want them? I don't need them. You don't need them? Nope. Who needs hands when you've got this kind of touch? Interestingly, his biggest obstacle wasn't really his arms, was it, Meryl? No, it was the people who didn't believe in him. That's right, exactly right. He would show up at that park, and they wouldn't pick him to play, and then even after he made the team, he sat on the bench most of the time. But he didn't quit, did he? He kept showing up time and time again. He was the first one to practice, and the last one to leave. He had tremendous patience. A big part of fortitude is patience. Getting past a challenge in life almost always requires patience, and usually the bigger the obstacle, the more patience you need. Our next story is another good example. This one is about a person with Down syndrome. Down syndrome is a condition that some people have. They call it a disability, but it's actually a blessing in some ways. People with Down syndrome are sometimes the most happy, fun-loving people you'll ever meet, but it does also come with some challenges and obstacles, which means it requires some fortitude. Case in point, my friend Kayla McEwen. Here's her story. 31-year-old Kayla McEwen may be Washington's most unlikely power broker. As a lobbyist, the first registered lobbyist with Down syndrome, Kayla roams the Capitol advocating for the National Down Syndrome Society. I'm good. She's an incredible asset to this organization. Sarah Hart Weir is her boss. She's extremely articulate, and she's quick on her feet, and I'm not going to take no for an answer. They hired you for your communication skills. That too. And your charm. You're good at this. It takes a schmoozer to know a schmoozer, but Kayla also has a certain sincerity that can turn almost any politician into putty. I need your help. Okay. Do you need a sponsor? I definitely need you. Am I surprised that she's in Washington, D.C., calling on senators and congressmen? Yeah. Her parents, Mark and Patty, say although their daughter continues to surprise, Kayla never really let Down syndrome slow her down. They say even at two, Kayla had already decided she would drive a car someday. To pass the permit test, we said you have to be able to read. So that gave her encouragement to knuckle down and start reading. And right now, she still reads a book a week. And she got her driver's license too. That's Kayla celebrating after passing the road test. She's now one of just a handful of people with Down syndrome to have a license. What about that parallel parking? You don't want to know. Really? That's challenging. Fortunately, today she does more flying than driving. A couple times a month, she leaves her in Syracuse for her office in D.C., where Kayla is focused on passing a law that would make it illegal to pay people with disabilities anything less than minimum wage. I got it. She says if it passes, it would be a monumental achievement, but a thrill regardless, just to be part of the process. I just love the feeling of, wow, I'm here. I'm making history. Hard to believe. Oh, yeah. Kayla McEwen, Lily in the Swamp. I'll support the bill. Washington, D.C. sure is lucky to have her. And we're lucky to have her with us here now. Hello, Kayla. How are you? I am super. How are you, mom and family? The family's doing great. I understand that you're also a student of Kindness 101. You've been taking our classes? I have. I like the service one. That's awesome. As I said earlier in our class, Down syndrome has blessed you with certain gifts, but it's also presented some obstacles. What things are hard for you? When have you really had to use your fortitude? Well, I know some people have preconceived notions about individuals with Down syndrome. And that's an obstacle for you. How do you overcome that? I try to show them what we can do instead of what we can't do. Do you ever lose your patience? I try not to. I just talk it out if I do lose patience. I know I can always talk to my mom and dad because they are my role models. So they help me not to lose my patience. That driving test seemed like a challenge. Did you pass it on your first try? Actually, no. It took me five times to take the test. But like you said, I definitely have fortitude because I kept going and going and going. And I passed on my first. What if you failed the fifth time? Would you have come back a sixth time? I would just keep coming back and coming back and coming back. And the same holds true for my college courses because I'm not going to stop if a little test is hard or if I don't do right on a paper. It doesn't mean I'm going to quit. It just makes me strive to do better and work harder. So you're still going to college? Yes, I'm doing it online. Are you trying to get a degree in what? My associate's degree in general studies. And I have 41 credits as of now. So you're going to be a college graduate? It's going to be a long time coming, but yes, I'm going to be a college graduate. Have you passed the law yet? I did not get passed as of yet. That is still a work in progress. So you're going to give up then, huh? No, I'm not. Because you have what? Because I have fortitude on it. That's great. Thank you so much for joining us. I appreciate it. And thank you, Hartman family. Like Jamarian, Kayla used fortitude to overcome a disability, but adversity comes in many forms. Our next story is about a guy who grew up poor. Poverty is a huge obstacle for a lot of people, but fortitude can help with that too. Take the case of Carl Allenby. I really want to be a doctor when I grow up. Whenever his two little girls play doctor and dream of becoming one someday. Let me take your heartbeat, doctor. 48-year-old master mechanic Carl Allenby is flooded with the feeling of deja vu. You wanted to be a doctor? Oh yeah, but that wasn't realistic. Not where I came from, no. I grew up in East Cleveland, which is a very impoverished city. We were on welfare and I remember the powdered milk, government powdered milk and block cheese. And because they were so poor, young Carl quickly set aside his professional aspirations and focused instead on becoming the best auto mechanic he could be. So this was the parts store where I got all my customers from. So you would work on cars in the parking lot of the parts store? Oh yeah, sometimes till one, two o'clock in the morning. Eventually he got his own shop and for 15 years he did okay, until one day he decided to ratchet things up. In 2006, Carl enrolled here at Ursuline College. His intention was to get a business degree to help him manage his repair shop. But there was one hurdle, a biology class. He couldn't understand why he had to take it and he put it off as long as possible. I'm a business major, what do I even care about biology? But I went to class and in the first hour of being there, I knew what I wanted to do with the rest of my life. All those ideas of wanting to be a doctor just came rushing back. And to make a long story short, the car doctor, Dr. Carl Allenby, is now a doctor, doctor. Last spring, Carl graduated from Northeast Ohio Medical University and today he's an emergency medicine resident at Cleveland Clinic Akron General. By all accounts, Carl is already an exemplary doctor. Partly because, according to his supervisors, he worked so long in a garage. That cannot translate. You'd be shocked actually, I think it's some of the customer service. This is Dr. Rebecca Merrill. But could you imagine right now going and learning auto mechanics? No, but Carl said he'll do our oil changes. Fortunately, Carl now has more important repairs on his mind. But this old auto mechanic also knows that whether you're working under a hood or staring down a hatch, your success hinges on your drive. I would hear people say, well, Carl, it's going to take nine years to become a doctor. Yeah. And I'd say, well, nine years are going to pass anyway. So I'd rather be someplace I want to be than someplace that I could have been. And there's the prescription for the I can't do it blues. What'd you think of that one? I liked it. That's good. What'd you like about it? Just the fact that he really wanted to be a doctor and he wouldn't let anything stop him from being a doctor. Yeah, I like when he said, I'd rather be someplace I want to be than someplace I could have been. I thought that was a great quote. That's how people with fortitude think. They know where they want to be and they stay focused on that goal no matter what obstacles get in their way. And obstacles do get in their way. Life is rarely without obstacles. We have one last story to show you today. This one is about a teacher who thinks a lot like Dr. Carl. She teaches kids about rockets. At least the kids think she's teaching them about rockets. But the real lesson here is fortitude. Take a look. In the middle of the Texas desert sits the tiny town of Presidio. This is the way in. And for some, this is the way out. If you're a kid looking to escape the poverty and isolation of Presidio, there's really no greater vehicle than the Presidio Rocket Club. There's a thermo there. It was launched a few years ago by a firecracker of a science teacher named Sheila Condino. I wanted to teach the kids. You wanted something so bad, you put your heart into it. Grab your parts. Her goal isn't really to make future rocket scientists. It's more just to make futures. In rocketry, you don't have the instructions of how to build it. And that's how life is. It doesn't come with instructions. You have to make it on your own. Her teacher knows all about that. Born dirt poor in the Philippines, Sheila came to the U.S. on a temporary work visa. Came to Presidio because no American teachers would. When we first met her in 2012, she really wanted a green card, but was having a hard time convincing immigration officials that she was a person of, quote, exceptional abilities. They are asking for more documents, more support, and I really did not know what else they would want from me. You're the best aerospace teacher in America. What more could they want? Thank you. It wasn't me saying that. You've got the award. She really was honored as the aerospace teacher of the year. It was no surprise to her students. She'll teach you things and you'll learn it like this, as long as you pay attention, of course. You're blocking the light. She's such a motivating force. Her kids often get up before sunrise to learn and learn. Their equipment is mostly begged, borrowed, and broken. Their budget mostly bake sales, barbecues, and goat auctions. And yet, despite all the obstacles, she continued to run one of the country's most highly respected high school rocketry programs. Then, last fall, she got a letter from immigration saying, you are not authorized to remain in the United States and to depart as soon as possible. I was appalled. You know, that's one of those not very commonsensical decisions that Washington is famous for. Texas Congressman Pete Gallego heard about her plight and had his staff do some digging. Come on in. Turns out that letter was actually a clerical error. What she should have got was a green card. I can stay. And with that, Sheila Condino learned a lesson, the same lesson she's been teaching her kids all these years. Never give up. You can do anything in this world as long as you never give up. Never give up. That kind of sums up fortitude in a nutshell, doesn't it? We certainly hope that our class has inspired you to power through whatever obstacles you're facing today. If you want to send us a note about this class or any other, you can always email us at this address, kindness101 at cbsnews.com. Teachers, we invite you to join our Facebook group, which is called On the Road for Educators. Teachers, please sign up for that. And everyone is invited here next week for our final class, which will be about compassion. That'll be a good one, Meryl. Until then, you can find me every Friday on the CBS Evening News with Nora O'Donnell. And every day of the week. Please stay kind.