How to Say No Like a Real Chinese Without Actually Saying No

What do you say in Chinese when someone asks you to do something you'd rather avoid? Like if you ask somebody who never works out to join a wrestle. Is it 不, 我不要. No, I don't want to. Is it? Well, that sounds cool, but that's not very Chinese. A Chinese would probably say, Let me think about it. And what they really mean is, I would rather fight a goose. Hi, I'm Leo. Welcome to today's chat. How to say no like a real Chinese without actually saying no. Because direct rejection, that's just too scary. Think about this. So one day, your coworker asks, Hey, do you want to join the company team building retreat this Saturday? It's just a 10-hour bus ride to a potato farm. You, a sane human, you can smile and be like, 我想想吧. I'll think about it. Or, 我考虑一下. I'll consider about it. That was a polite rejection in a silk wrapper. If they're also a sane human, they'll know. You are not coming. You already thought about it. You already decided. Think of it as ghosting, but with a smile. If you text your crush like, let's hang out tomorrow. And their reply is, 最近有点忙. Kinda busy lately. Busy, lately, and forever. That little phrase is Chinese for, I am not free now. And probably won't be forever. So if someone tells you they are a little busy, start preparing your tissues. That might be a bit difficult. Let's say you have a neighbor, and they own four barky dogs who barks all day long, and a karaoke machine. One day, they knock at your door and ask you to make less noise in the morning when you go to work, because you woke up the doggies. You can say, But here's the tip, say it slowly. Well, the real meaning should be, not a chance in hell. Graceful and painless. So now tip four, let's do it next time. When there's no next time. If someone says, Next time, okay? There's no next time. It's like Narnia. It exists in theory, but you'll never actually get there. As soon as someone says this, just nod and respond with, Sure, next time. Then both of you walk away, knowing this is the last time you'll ever talk about it. I do this one when someone wants to borrow money. I just hate this feeling, you know? Not people borrowing money, but people borrowing money out of nowhere. Let's say a long time nosy acquaintance, not even your friend, like your middle school classmate, suddenly texts you on WeChat, and you thought they just wanted to catch up. But it doesn't even take two rounds of conversation for them to say, Hey, can you lend me some money? I'll just stop replying, fading to silence. Because sometimes people don't even bother saying no under circumstance like this. We don't ghost out of rudeness. We ghost out of politeness. It's not that I don't respect you. It's just that saying no makes me too anxious. I know in some culture, saying no is being honest. But in China, especially some introvert Chinese like me, I just feel saying no is a bit aggressive, awkward, or like you're rejecting the person, not the thing. So instead, we've evolved this super polite, Yes, but no. Maybe yes, actually no language. Like wrapping a rejection in a dumpling skin. Thanks for watching. If you enjoyed this video, please like and subscribe. Don't leave me a maybe next time, okay? I'm Leo. See you next time. Bye for now.