A woman overcomes her physical disabilities to achieve her goals. | Short Film "Expectations"

I think high school was... I liked high school. It was a pretty good experience aside from, you know, feeling like othered or outside. So this journal is August 18, 2004. It says, so today was the second day of school and it sucked, as well as the first day. No one really feels to be me. I hate more things than I like. I hate my hands, fingers, nails, wrists, arms, back, butt, chest, belly button, legs, and my foot. I was raised on this ideology that, you know, don't worry, you don't have a disability, you're good, which then made me feel like having a disability was potentially, like, bad. And so I, you know, ran away from that identity. So I see this video of myself and younger Ashley was complicated. I was born with Ohliers-Ann Mifushi syndrome. It's a bone disease. I've had over 20 surgeries. I've had ovarian cancer, but I also just lived like any other kid. I can remember the first time that I was called disabled. We were on the Warner Brothers lot and we got in trouble because we were all parking in spots closer to the building and we all got tickets from the lot police. And one of my coworkers said, you should mess with the police officer and ask him, would you really make a disabled person move her car? And that was the first time that someone, you know, as an adult had called me disabled. And I had this very weird visceral reaction where I was like in tears. And it really just made me realize how I feel about the word disability and how I have had this complex my whole life. And I have my own internalized ableism against my own community that I was born into. I had a really interesting conversation with my mom. She just wanted to make sure that I didn't hold myself back. She knew what culture thinks of disability. So when she had me, she was terrified and didn't want me to feel othered. And so she was like, nope, you don't have a disability. You know, you can still do everything you can and be amazing. But what we have to realize is like you can have a disability and also be amazing. As much as it's hard living with a bone disease, it's also equally as hard and scary being a parent and having to watch your child go through these things and, and not wanting them to feel ostracized by society. So of course she ran from the label of disability. And I just have a lot of, you know, empathy for the journey that she's also had to endure with, with raising me. What do you want to say to that Ash when you hear how hard that day was for her? That's going to be okay. I think that's what I tell her is get ready. It only, it only goes up from here. I've had an amazing career traveling the world with, you know, Crazy Rich Asians, shooting that in Malaysia and Singapore and working on America's Next Top Model and going to Hong Kong and Bali. And it was years and years and years over 10 years of, you know, helping other people create and make work. And I'm finally in this phase of my career where I am developing content and writing films and TV shows. And it's really exciting because it's just really exciting. So I definitely hold myself up to a high standard, the same work ethic of good filmmaking and good work as anyone else who's making films. And I think that's how our content goes commercial. I think that's how the world will want to see our stories because it's just incredible storytelling and incredible filmmaking. So I think because there's no representation of people with disabilities, that was a huge reason why I had so many issues identifying with it. And, you know, that's what I'm trying to do is to diversify our narrative. So it's easier for the younger generations and for people with disabilities to feel accepted and like their stories matter. And different is actually okay, which we have that power to do with storytelling.