Funniest Scenes From Bridesmaids (2011)

Alright, let's see what's next. Another one, another one, another one. I know who this is from. I can tell by the wrapping. Annie, who made this? Look. Oh man. It's us, Annie. Oh my god, let me see. Oh my god. This is all my favorite stuff from all the stores I love in Milwaukee. Annie, so unbelievable. Wilson Phillips. Man, I love Wilson Phillips. We listened to Hold On probably 10,000 times when I got my driver's license. This is such an amazing gift. Thank you. I feel really bad, Will. I didn't get a chance to actually get you a present because I've been so busy organizing the shower. Helen, please. It's more than enough. Here's a card to say congratulations. Thank you. You're really outdone yourself. Oh my god, Helen. Honey, what is it? Helen's taking me to Paris. Oh my god. What? I told you. It's just a little pre-wedding vacation and while we're there, we're going to meet the designer of her dress and have a fitting. You are taking me to Paris? Holly? Are you ******* kidding me? Annie? No, Mom. Motherfucking Paris? Annie, what are you doing? I told you about Paris, Helen. I told you about this whole idea. Annie, calm down. No, Lillian. What are you going to go? You're going to go to Paris with Helen now? You guys are going to ride around on bikes with berets and ******* baguettes in the basket in front of your bikes? Oh, how romantic. What woman gives another woman a trip to Paris? Am I right? Lesbian. We're all thinking it, aren't we? I'm not. Yes, we're all thinking it, right? Annie. Lillian, this is not the you that I know. The you that I know would have walked in here and rolled your eyes and thought this was completely over the top, ridiculous, and stupid. Look at the shower! Look at that ******* cookie! Did you really think that this group of women was going to finish that cookie? Oh, you know what? That reminds me, actually. I never got a chance to try that ******* cookie! Stupid ******* cookie! Is this what you want, Lillian? It's so awesome. All right! Let's have some nice, sanitary chocolate! Jesus! Annie, have you lost your ******* mind? What are you doing? What am I doing? You wouldn't know, would you? Where have you been? You would have no idea. Let me fill you in, okay? Ever since you got engaged, everything's turned to ----. You know what? This is supposed to be about my time. You have managed to ruin every event in my wedding. Thank you very much. Okay, well, thank you very much. It's all her fault. It is not mine. And you would know that if you got your beautiful-haired head out of your asshole. In fact, out of her asshole, which I'm sure is perfectly bleached. You know what? It is! And you know how I know? Because I went to the ******* salon with her, and I got my asshole bleached, too! And I love my new asshole! You know what? Why can't you just be happy for me, and then go home and talk behind my back later like a normal person? I am happy for you, Lillian. I am very happy for you. I wish you well. I won't bother you anymore. Oh, hi, I'm Helen. Oh, you live in Milwaukee? Oh, I'm sorry. Oh, have you met Lillian? Oh, she's my best friend. Oh, yeah, I know. We've only known each other for five minutes. Oh. See? Okay? Not drunk. Told you. So you're just a terrible sober driver? Ha ha, very funny. Can I stop walking now? You can stop walking when I tell you to stop walking. Hey, look, if I was drunk, would I be able to do this? Stop it. Stop it. Please stop. Please stop. I believe you. You're not drunk. But I'm still going to have to give you a ticket. What? Why? It's a funny thing about brake lights. You have to have them. Oh, I knew it. It's been out for like a year. So stupid. Look, please. Please, I promise I will get them fixed this week. I promise. Please. Do you have to give me a ticket? Yes. License and registration, please. Excuse me. I'm looking for a birthday gift for my best friend. Oh. I want to get her a necklace that says best friends forever. You sure you want it to say forever? Yeah. Why? Forever. Forever? I don't think you guys will be best friends forever. No offense. But, you know, the friends you have when you're younger, sometimes you grow apart. You know, when you get older, maybe she'll find a new best friend. And maybe she'll be more successful than you are. And prettier. And richer. And skinnier. And they end up doing everything together. You're weird. I'm not weird. Okay? Yes, you are. No, I'm not. And you started it. No, you started it. Did you forget to take your Xanax this morning? God, I feel bad for your parents. I feel bad for your face. Okay. Well, call me when your boobs come in. You call me when yours come in. What, do you have four boyfriends? Exactly. Yeah. Okay. Have fun having a baby at your prom. You look like an old mop. You know what? You're not as popular as you think you are. I'm very popular. Oh, I'm sure you are. Very popular. Well, you're an old, single loser who's never gonna have any friends. You're a little cunt. Wait a minute. Is this that place that was on the real one? Are you kidding me? Hey, buddy. How you doing? I feel so much more relaxed. Thank you, Helen. I just feel like I'm excited and I feel relaxed and I'm ready to party with the best of them. And I'm gonna go down to the river. Wow, it looks like somebody's really relaxing now. Yeah, wow. What are you guys talking about up here? We're going to a restaurant tonight. I know the owner. Oh, Helen is the owner. Big whoop. Let's go take a nap. What do you say? Miss, you cannot be up here. Hello, Grandpa. I'm sorry. I just want to be here with my friends because I'm with this group. The sign just went off. Can't she stay up here for a minute? Absolutely not. Coach passengers are not allowed up here in first class. It's policy. I'm sorry. This is a very strict plane that I'm on. Welcome to Germany. Auf Wiedersehen. Asshole. All right. Why don't you go take a nap? I'm tired. I think it's a good idea. Catch you on the flip side, motherfuckers. I'm sorry. I'm leaving. Thank you. This should be open because it's civil rights. This is the 90s. It's not. You're in the wrong decade. You are. Thank you. Holy ----. What did you give her? Miss? No, it's not me. Yes, it is you. Please go back to your seat. Yes, I'm with him. I'm a Mrs. Iglesias. No, you're not. You were just out here and you put sunglasses on. Out. But I don't want to. Sir, she can have my seat, okay? Everyone should experience first class at least once in their lives, and Annie shouldn't miss out just because she can't afford it. No, ma'am, I'm afraid that's not allowed. Help me. I'm poor. No, listen, we're a whole wedding party. I'm the bride. I'm getting married. The seat's empty. She's obviously nervous. We'll calm her down in court. You know what? I understand, but Claire is right. Everybody go back to your seats. Okay, you especially. You have three seconds to get back to your seat. Oh. You can't get anywhere in three seconds. Well, you better try. You're setting me up for a loss already. Okay, thank you. Whatever you say, Stove. It's Steve. Stove. What kind of name is that? Well, that's not a name. My name is Steve. Are you an appliance? No, I'm a man, and my name is Steve. You're a flight attendant. That's absolutely accurate. You can close that. Thank you. Okay, now that Lillian's in the bathroom, I just want to talk to you guys about the shower really quick. I was thinking it could be, like, French-themed. I know. And she's always wanted to go to Paris her whole life. Ooh. So I figured, you know, we could bring Paris here and have champagne and, you know, little cookies. I'd see Lillian and Dougie on them. We can dip them in chocolate fondue and, you know, get cheese from the nice part of the store. I love that. Very cute. We can have French invitations, the whole thing. Don't you think that'd be nice? That's really cute. Good. Great. I don't know. Like, it's really cute, but I feel like, personally, the Paris theme's a bit in there, done that. I just feel like we can top it. We should throw some ideas around, see if, you know, anyone else has, like, a theme they had in mind or something they've been thinking of. What about a Pixar-themed shower? And we all come dressed as our favorite Pixar character. That, and I'll just snowball on top of that. Also, fight club. Female fight club. We grease up, we pull in. Lillian doesn't know, so it's, surprise, we're gonna fight. We beat the ---- out of her. She's not gonna forget that. We just ******* attack. Can I be honest? Oh, no. I'm at home with three boys all day, every day. What about the bachelorette party? That's what's more important. I've got a new tube top. I want to cut the tags off. I'd like to take advantage of this opportunity. Where are we going? I'm gonna second her. We better blow this ---- out. That poor girl, Lillian, who we're all here for, is in the bathroom probably bawling her ******* eyes out because she's realizing, holy ----, I gotta spend the rest of my life with Doug. He's my brother. I love him, but he's a ******* asshole. I think we can all agree on that, right? Well, you know, we'll figure it out. I mean, I can think of stuff, and it'll be great. We just have to make sure it's really, really special. How many of those did you take? I took nine. I took nine, yeah. I, uh, I did, I think, slightly overcommit to the whole dog thing. It turns out I'm probably more comfortable with six. It's a lot of energy to deal with, but you wouldn't know anything about that because you haven't been returning my calls. And say what? Megan say, hi, I can't get off the couch. I got fired from my job. I got kicked out of my apartment. I can't pay any of my bills. My car is a piece of ----. I don't have any friends. Um, the last time I... You know what I find interesting about that, Annie? It's interesting to me that you have, you have absolutely no friends. You know why it's interesting? Here's a friend standing directly in front of you trying to talk to you, and you choose to talk about the fact that you don't have any friends. You know what I mean. No, no, I don't think you want any help. I think you want to have a little pity party. Yeah, I think Annie wants a little pity party. You're an asshole, Annie. My God, what are you doing? I'm life, huh? Life bothering you? Yes, I'm life, Annie. What are you doing? Megan, you better learn to fight because life will... I'm life and I'm going to bite you in the ass. Ow! Ow! It's not me. Turn over. I'm trying to get you to fight for your shitty life. And you won't do it. Stop slapping yourself. I'm your life, Annie. I'm your shitty... Ow! Sorry. Nice hit. All right. I'm glad to see you got a little bit of spark in you. I knew that Annie was in there somewhere. I think... I think you're ready now to hear a little story about a girl... a girl named Megan. A girl named Megan that didn't have a very good time in high school. I'm referring to myself when I say Megan. It's me, Megan. And I know you look at me now and think, boy, she must have breezed through high school. Not the case, Annie. No, this was not easy going up and down the halls. Okay? They used to try to blow me up. They threw firecrackers at my head. Firecrackers. I mean, literally. I'm not saying that figuratively. I got firecrackers thrown at my head. They called me a freak. Do you think I let that break me? Think I went home to my mommy crying, and, oh, I don't have any friends. Oh, Megan doesn't have any friends. No, I did not. You know what I did? I pulled myself up. I studied really hard. I read every book in the library, and now I work for the government. I have the highest possible security clearance. Don't repeat that. I can't protect you. I know where all the nukes are, and I know the codes. I won't say anything. You would be amazed. A lot of shopping malls. Don't repeat that. I have six houses. I bought an 18-wheeler a couple months ago just because I could, okay? You lost Lillian. You got another best friend sitting right in front of you, if you'd notice. Huh? Now you gotta stop feeling sorry for yourself, because I do not associate with people that blame the world for their problems, because you're your problem, Annie, and you're also your solution. Right? I mean, that's... You get that? I just miss her, I guess. Yeah, I know you do. I know you do. All right, come on. Bring it in. There's the Annie. There's the Annie I knew was there, okay? And you gotta wash your hair. You gotta wash that hair. Anyway, take a look around. Get to know the dresses. If you need anything, I'll be in my office. Have fun. Oh. My. God. It's a Fritz Bernays, ladies. I just don't think we can do any better. This is beautiful. That is gorgeous. It's unique. It's special. It's couture. This is made in France. This is $800. Are you kidding? It's on sale. Are you serious? Oh, that's nice. There's other dresses we should be looking at. Nope, not that one. Um, oh. Lillian, Lillian, look at this one. Isn't this pretty? It's really pretty and sweet and, you know, we don't want to upstage Lillian with a big fancy dress. Maybe we should just get something kind of simple. Oh, please, do not worry about upstaging me. Because... Guess who Helen is friends with and who's designing my wedding dress? Lady St. Patois Juju. I just sent my measurements to France, y'all. You did it. Where were you when I was getting married, bitch? Ladies, let's not decide on this bridesmaid's dress straight away. Let's let our bodies decide, try some things on, and have some fun, okay? Yeah, let's have some fun, girls. Ladies, start your enjance. Oh, Lill, Lill. This is so cool. Ladies. Ladies, if I may interject, I just want to say you all look stunning. That's a given, head to toe. But sadly, we need to agree on one. Well, I mean, ladies, you all look beautiful, but I just think, personally, the Fritz Bernays dress, I mean... It's a Bernays. It's one of a kind. I just, I don't think there's a question. No question. Well, there might be a question. I might have a question. I think this dress would look great on everybody. It's a great color. It's a great length. It's fun. You can twirl. You can move in it. Oh. You can spread your legs apart. And it's a great price. This is designer as well. Is anyone else hot? Okay, well, maybe this might help you decide. While you gals were in the changing room, I happened to rustle up a two-year-old ladies' juju dress in storage. I had Lillian put it on so you could see what you'll be standing next to. Lillian, honey? Beautiful. Breathtaking. Holy ----. You look amazing. That dress is so pretty it makes my stomach hurt. Lillian, I don't know what to say. You look... Megan, are you okay? Oh. I think I just... My dress was probably just tight. Oh, my God. You got food poisoning from that restaurant, didn't you? No, I had the same thing that she had, and I feel fine. Oh, my. Okay. Nothing's happening. Oh, my God. You know, I don't really care which dress we get. It doesn't matter to me. I just need to get off this white carpet. No, okay. No, not the bathroom. Everybody, go outside. I'm serious. There's a bathroom across the street. I think everybody has the flu. Oh, ----. I need the toilet. Oh, God. No. Megan, no. Look away. Oh.