BITCOINERS ARE THE NEW FINANCIAL ELITE

The economy is a flaming clown car sliding across black ice, so climb in and honk the horn with us as we expose how early Bitcoin psychos hijacked the free-candy van of global finance and turned it into a rolling VIP lounge. Watch as we roast financial “experts” who still think a diversified 60/40 portfolio means 60 boxes of Kraft dinner and 40 boxes of tissues for when the Fed pivots. Marvel at the neon skyline where Bitcoin skyscrapers glow brighter than Rosie O’Donnell’s hot-take meter while the rest of America eats raccoon kabobs behind Dollar Tree.