How to have AMAZING English Conversations

Hi, I'm Vanessa from SpeakEnglishWithVanessa.com. Are you ready to have amazing English conversations? Yes, let's do it. Imagine this, you're at a party where you don't know anyone. Everyone's having conversations in English, but you don't feel super comfortable speaking with just anyone in English yet. But someone walks up to you, smiles, introduces themselves, and starts speaking with you in English. They're friendly and seem genuinely interested in what you have to say. And before you know it, you're having a comfortable conversation in English. You may not be saying everything perfectly, but your new friend is encouraging you and you're saying things that you didn't even know that you knew how to say. You leave the party feeling happy and confident and proud of yourself for having such an amazing conversation. If you had not gone to that party, or if you had hidden in the bathroom, you would have missed out on such an amazing time. There's a famous quote by Maya Angelou, and she says, I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. This is great news because you don't have to have perfect grammar, perfect vocabulary, perfect pronunciation when you speak. When you make other people feel good, you are automatically great at having amazing conversations. Today, I'm going to teach you four tips and several phrases so that you can make other people feel awesome while you're speaking with them, which also grows your confidence in speaking in English. Tip number one for amazing conversations is to compliment other people. This doesn't mean that you tell everyone, you're so beautiful, you're handsome, your hair is amazing, your eyes are great. No, this doesn't mean that you are complimenting their physical appearance. This means that you are showing genuine interest in what other people have to say. A way that you can show other people that you're interested in what they have to say and you're saying, yes, what you're saying is interesting. I want to hear more about that is by using some positive interjections in conversations. Advanced English speakers use these all the time and you should too. I want to teach you some of these positive interjections that you can use that tell the other person, hey, you're awesome. I want to hear more about what you have to say. I'm going to say each positive interjection two times. The first time I want you to listen and the second time I want you to say it out loud. Imagine that you're at that party talking with someone else who you want to become friends with, who you're interested in and you want to show them, I'm interested in you. How can you compliment them with your ears, listening to them with these interjections? Let's give it a try. Wow, that's so cool. Say it with me. Wow, that's so cool. That's great. I love that. No way. That's awesome. No way. That's awesome. Oh my gosh. How fun is that? Oh my gosh. How fun is that? Oh really? For real? That's too funny. For real? That's too funny. Can you get the sense from all of these positive interjections that you're making that other person feel like, I'm saying something that that person really cares about? When they say, for real, that's too funny, it shows you are listening. It shows that you think they're funny and they're going to feel so good about themselves. You are complimenting what they're saying. My second tip for having amazing conversations is to have a mindset shift. I want you to shift your mindset into thinking that every person you speak with has something interesting to say and you can't wait to find out what that is. Be interested in other people. If you only speak about yourself, you're not a great conversationalist. If someone says that their car broke down and you immediately say, oh yeah, my car broke down last week too, how do you think that makes that other person feel? Makes them feel like, did you even hear what I said? Do you care about me that my car broke down? So take a step back and be interested in their story. Be interested in their life. Have you ever been telling someone something that you were really excited about? Maybe you said, oh, I just interviewed for a new job last week at Google. And then the other person says, oh yeah, I thought about interviewing for there too. Hmm. Well, how does that make you feel? Kind of feels like they're not willing to share your excitement because they only want to talk about themselves. Oh yeah, I interviewed there too. Well, you don't want to be that kind of person. You want to take interest in what other people have to say and think, wow, other people have something that I am curious about and I can't wait to learn more. I'd like to give you some phrases that you can use to show that you're genuinely interested in what other people have to say. Like before, I'm going to say them two times. First time you can listen and the second time say it with me. Speak out loud. How did that happen? What was that like? What do you think will happen? What made you want to do that? Have you always been interested in that? Great. These phrases show that you are genuinely interested in what the other person has to say. Great. You're on your way to having amazing conversations. Tip number three for having amazing conversations is to listen actively. Listen actively, but listening is usually a passive thing. You're just taking in input, but really active listening means that you are either guessing the emotion of the other person or you're mirroring their words. This is actually excellent for learning English because you're taking their words and you're kind of restating it, so you might be growing some new vocabulary, growing some new grammar based on what the other person said. Let me give you a couple examples. If you work in customer service and someone calls your customer service service line and says, this product broke, I can't believe it. You might say, I'm sorry, you must be really frustrated, but they say, no, I'm just disappointed because I thought that it would work. Well, what word did they use that you didn't use? You said you must be frustrated and they said, no, I'm just disappointed. Great chance for active listening. You can say, I'm sorry that you're so disappointed. Let me do what I can to make it right. You're mirroring their word and it makes them feel heard. You're actively listening to the words that they're using and you're able to use it yourself to reflect their feelings. This is a great type of listening and phrasing to use when someone's telling you something that there's a lot of emotion behind, it could be positive emotion, it could be something they're worried or fearful about, this type of negative emotion. Here are some sample phrases that you can use so that you show that you are listening actively to someone else and that other person feels good that you really heard what they had to say. You can say, you must be feeling, and then add some kind of emotion. You must be feeling really excited about that job interview. You must be feeling really nervous to approach your boss. You must be feeling really upset that that happened. Oh, well maybe they didn't say specifically excited, worried, upset, but you are guessing their emotion. Maybe they'll correct you and say, actually, I just feel hesitant. I feel really disappointed. Okay. That's all right. You can mirror that back. Yeah. That's so disappointing. But when you are trying to actively listen and pull out their emotion, excellent. You are a wonderful conversationalist. Let me give you some other phrases. That must be really nerve wracking. That must be really exciting. That must be really awful. That must be. Can you practice that with me? That must be really nerve wracking. That must be really exciting. That must be really awful. And our final phrase for active listening is, that sounds really nerve wracking. That sounds really exciting. That sounds really awful. So here you are trying to pull that emotion out of it and connect with the other person. Can you say that with me? That sounds really nerve-wracking. That sounds really exciting. That sounds really awful. Excellent work. And a little bonus tip, this works very well with children. If you have young kids, or I guess any kids, if you work with kids, you see kids, you know that kids exist, I recommend this book, How to Talk So Kids Will Listen, How to Listen So Kids Will Talk. They also have a teenage version as well, I think. And it's a great way to be able to use active listening at an age-appropriate level so that your kids feel heard, and also so that your kids hear you and hear you in the way that you want them to hear. Great book, great recommendation. Okay, let's go to our fourth and final tip for amazing English conversations. Tip number four for amazing conversations is body language. You can have all the right words, all the right things to say, but if your body is like this, well, you know what that tells the other person? I don't really care what you have to say. I'm just kind of bored. So instead, as you are having a conversation with someone else, I want you to remember nose. Your nose? No, instead, this is an acronym, N-O-S-E. We'll talk about it in just a second. Remember nose as you are speaking with someone else. N is nodding, nodding. If you're speaking and someone just stands there and doesn't move, it seems a little robotic, a little bit like they're not listening or they don't care, makes you feel a little uncomfortable. So if you just nod while someone else is speaking, it shows that you're listening. It doesn't mean you always agree with them, but it shows that you're listening. You're nodding. What about O? O is for open posture. Which one feels better to you? Me with my arms crossed, maybe turned away from you, or me with my arms down and just listening to you. When your body is open, you don't need to be very open or like this. Instead, just having an open posture, your shoulders back and you're facing someone, this shows that you care and that you're listening. The S of nose is smile. Did you know that our brains can tell if a smile is real or not? When you smile like this, yes, my mouth is making a smiling face, but it's not real. And could you tell? Could you tell that I wasn't really smiling? I was just fake smiling. Well, the reason why we can tell is because my eyes are not doing anything. A real smile goes all the way up to your eyes. If I smile like this, do you see how my eyes are crinkling a little bit? Maybe even completely crinkling. That means that it is a real smile, that we are really interested. So as someone is speaking, you can be completely really interested in what they have to say. Not just feels like a robot, right? But when you're really interested in what someone has to say, oh yeah, your eyes crinkle a little bit and you smile all the way up to your eyes. The final E of nose is eye contact. In English, in the US, it is common and important to maintain eye contact with someone when you're speaking. You don't need to stare at them the whole time and never look away. But if you avoid eye contact as someone speaking, it makes them feel like you don't want to be there. You don't want to talk with them. So instead, if you look them in the eyes and you smile and you nod and you have open posture, you are a welcoming and inviting person who anyone would want to speak with. So maintain some eye contact. Maybe if that's tough for you, you can focus here or focus on one eye over the other. You don't need to stress yourself out too much. But having that kind of nodding, genuine smile, open posture, and maintaining eye contact, that is a great way to have excellent conversations. Well, now when you compliment others, have a mindset shift that other people have interesting things to say, and you listen actively and have great body language, well, congratulations, you have the power to have amazing conversations, great relationships, and confidence in yourself. Pretty good for a free YouTube video, right? Don't forget to download the free PDF worksheet so that you can review all of these wonderful tips and so that you can be a great conversationalist. Practice all of the phrases and integrate them into your conversations so that other people leave those conversations feeling great and thinking, man, he's a great conversationalist. Wow, she is great at having conversations. I can't wait to talk to her again. You can do it. Make sure you download that PDF. There's a link in the description. And now I have a question for you. I'd like to give you a little scenario. Imagine that I told you, I can't wait. I get to see my grandma next week for the first time in a year. What would you say to me? Can you use any of these phrases? Maybe an active listening phrase, you must be feeling, or one of the other phrases so that you can be a great conversationalist. Let me know in the comments how you would respond to me if I said, I get to see my grandma next week after a full year of not seeing her. Let me know in the comments what you would say, use what you've learned, and I'll see you again next Friday for a new lesson here on my YouTube channel. Bye. The next step is to download the free PDF worksheet for this lesson. With this free PDF, you will master today's lesson and never forget what you have learned. You can be a confident English speaker. Don't forget to subscribe to my YouTube channel for a free English lesson every Friday. Bye.