SEE THE SIGNS : How to know if you're dating a dangerous narcissist or sociopath | Narc red flags

Next red flag is when they turn you against your social support. This is a real problem for me, Dr. Joseph. It is. And you have to remember, these people are narcissists. If it's not about them, they don't like it. If you're sharing your resources and your time and your love with your family and friends, they see this as a direct threat. So their tactic is divide and conquer. They don't want you spending time with your family and friends. Why? Because your family and friends will eventually expose them. Figure them out. Yeah. Exactly. Because you're in this love haze. So they tend to make you believe that your friends and family members are jealous of what you have. Exactly. You have something so special, and then they lure you away from your family and friends. I've had that one before. Yeah. And then you're isolated. All right. So next red flag, they block you from meeting their family and friends. At the same time they're pulling you away from yours, you don't get to meet theirs. Vanita? Because they will probe you. They want to know everything about you because they're gathering information to work their scam against you. But they're very guarded. They'll give you limited, in my experience, information. They block you from meeting their friends and family. They tell you very little about their childhood, about their upbringing. They give you vague answers. If you really start paying attention, the stories start to conflict a little bit. They're just very vague, and they've always got a good reason to push you away. So that's a giant red flag. So Vanita, you went through this in spades, broadly broadcast across the planet. How did you heal from this extreme betrayal? I mean, for me personally, one of the things that's been so healing is to be able to talk about it on a very practical level. One of the things I always tell women is, don't drive yourself crazy trying to figure out why. Somebody said to me very early on, nothing will make you crazier than trying to figure out a crazy person. That's a good way of thinking about it. Every time I would get really down, I would remember that because I would always be, why? You want to know, why did this happen to me? And I think this goes across the board when any of these things happen to you. How could this happen to me? I'm smart. I'm a journalist. This is not supposed to happen to me. And the same with the women in the Derek Aldred story. They're smart. They're successful. But don't do that to yourself. We can't figure them out. They have all kinds of things wrong with them, as we know. And the best thing you can do is know that you're not stupid, and this is not your fault, and pick yourself up and keep going. We do. Dr. Jacobs, thank you both very much. We'll be right back.