The Tristan and Rory Crush Story | Gilmore Girls

All right, forget about the bike. Listen, a D is one grade. It's not the end of the world. You'll catch up, you'll do better. You're of hearty, stubborn stock, my dear. There's one thing I gave you, it's my stubbornness. I'm not stubborn. Yes, you are. No, I'm not. Fine, you're not. Thank you. You're welcome. You can do this, Rory, and I will help you. I will get you through this. Now put the D behind you. What's next? I have a test on Friday. Ooh, a test, great. On Shakespeare. The Bard with the Beard, love it. It's 20% of my grade. It just makes life interesting. Now what do we have to do to get you an A on that test? Do you really think I can do this? I bet you, $1. That's it? That's all my future is worth, $1? Well, you did get a D. Let me not to the marriage of true minds admit impediments. Love is not love which alters when it alteration finds, or bends with a remover to remove. Oh, no. It is an ever-fixed mark that looks on tempests and is never shaken. It is the star to every wandering bark who is worse unknown, although his height be taken. You're going down. No. Oh, no. Jeez, such a bad sleeping idea. I'm late. What? I'm late, I'm late. All right, calm down. I can't calm down. I missed my bus. Sweetie, Mommy can't get up right now. Mommy's been sleeping at a right angle all night. I'm going to miss the test. No. No, you're not. I'll get the keys. We'll go right now. Let's go. I can't take you. You have to. I have a meeting at the inn at 8. Mom! OK, wait. OK, listen. Here, you drive. What? Yeah, you drive. I'll get a ride from Suki. Take the phone. Take the keys. Go. Are you sure? Go, go, go, go. I'm gone. Hello? Did I leave a set of my notes at your house yesterday? Where are you? I'm driving to school. I need to check something, and I can't find some of my notes. OK, hold on. Let me check. I don't see anything. What did I do with them? Well, maybe it's downstairs in the store. Maybe. I just. Oh, my god. Are you all right? I just got hit by a deer. You hit a deer? No, I got hit by a deer. How do you get hit by a deer? I was at a stop sign, and he hit me. Oh, my god. Was it a four-way stop? What does that matter? I don't know. I don't know what to ask after you've been hit by a deer. I don't see him. Well, put salt down. Deers love salt. Where am I going to get salt? Do you have a lunch? Lane. Sorry. I don't see him anywhere. What if he's hurt? Rory, your test. What time is it? It's 740. No. I'm sorry. Everyone, back to your test. Miss Gilmore, you're going to have to wait in the library. What about the test? I'm afraid you've missed the test. No. We start class promptly at 805. No. That's when I need people to be in their seats. Please. I'm sorry. It's the rules. But you don't understand. I was up all night studying, and then I missed my bus. So I had to drive. Let's discuss this outside. So I'm driving down this road, and I stop, and I get hit by a deer. You hit a deer? No, I got hit by a deer. You don't believe me? I've got antler prints on the side of my mother's car. Rory, come on. No, you have to let me take this test. I'm ready for this test. I know everything there is to know about Shakespeare. OK, OK. You need to calm down now. I know his birth date, and his mother's name, and the kind of ink he used. Loser. And just what is wrong with you, huh? You already have everything. You already have the grades and the status. What the hell is wrong with you that you have this constant need to be the biggest jerk in the entire world? OK, let's go. Huh? What's up? What's up, quippy? Why so silent? Outside, now. And for the last time, the name is Rory! Hey. What, Tristan? I just wanted to say happy birthday. It's not my birthday. No, but it will be. On Friday at 4.03 in the morning, we'll rely the- What is that? Who else got these? I don't know. Everyone in our class, I think. I have to go. I'll see you Friday, birthday girl. That's her. My parents are making me go to another obligation party. My life stinks. I have to go to the bathroom. Just say hello first. Go on, I'll hold those for you. Who's that? I think it's her party. Oh. Paris? My parents made me come. Oh, god. Otherwise, I wouldn't be here. You believe me, don't you? Oh, come and greet me. Hello, Tristan. So where's my birthday kiss? It's my birthday. So I'll give you a birthday kiss. What is wrong with you? OK, I gotta take something. I'm madly in love with you. Well, good luck with that. I can't eat. I can't sleep. I wake up in the middle of the night calling out your name. Rory. Would you shut up, please? Rory. Who's your friend? I don't know, but this is Tristan. Excuse me? Tristan DeGray, sir. DeGray? Are you in relation to Janlyn DeGray? That's my grandfather, sir. Well, I've done business with Janlyn for years. He's a fine man. Well, that he is. Rory, you have very good taste in friends. Richard, I've got Dennis on the phone, and he heard the same thing I heard. Well, one wrong man can always find a friend. He likes me. He's drunk. Come on, let's take a walk. This is stupid. You don't even like me. You just have this weird need to prove that I'll go out with you. That's not liking someone. Why are you fighting this? You're going to give it eventually. I'm going to go find my mother. Wow, meeting your mom. Well, it's a bit sudden, but OK, I'm ready. Oh, there you are. I think it's time that you said a few words to your guests. What? Just a little speech to say thank you and tell everyone how it feels to be one year older. Mom, I don't think this is... She's the hostess, Lorelei. This is her responsibility. I am not the hostess. You are. Hey, honey, hold on. This is your party, and these are your guests, and I don't have anything to say to them, so you give the speech. Rory. Excuse me. What was that all about? Lorelei, your daughter has no manners whatsoever. You should be ashamed of yourself. OK, how did this become my fault? Throw those out. We won't eat them. Mom, your granddaughter invited you to her birthday party. Please come. I've already been to a party for my granddaughter, and she humiliated me in front of all my friends. I have no desire to relive that experience. The cheeses must be put in individual bags, please. Mom, come on. Give her a break. You invited all these Chilton kids without even asking her. They're her schoolmates. I assumed they were her friends. Well, you know what they say when people assume things. No, what do they say? That you shouldn't. Very clever. Mom, she didn't want them here. She doesn't like them. Well, I had to invite them. That's just good manners, something that your daughter is sorely lacking. God, you know you're doing the same thing to her that you always did to me. You try to control her, and when that doesn't work, you just shut her out. I'm too tired for your accusations right now. Can we do this tomorrow? I'm just... Here, I'll find you a pencil so you can write down your insults so that you won't forget them. Mom, this is not funny. I have a crushed kid out in the car. What do you want me to say? Everything's fine. It's forgotten. There, I'll see you next week. So I guess the whole pudding thing was just a fluke. Huh? Trying to get to know us, easing up on the rules, smudging that bottom line of yours. It was just some weird phase. What, you were on cold medicine last week or something. Oh, so I'm a villain now, is that it? I spent a fortune on this party. I spent days planning it, making sure that every little detail was perfect. The food, the linen, the music. And I did all this for Rory. Well, that's not what she needed, Mom. What she needs is for you to accept her apology and come to her party. That's what she needs. But you don't care what she needs. How dare you? You don't even know what she needs because you don't know her. You've never tried to know her, just like you never knew me. Oh, I know you. Oh, please, you don't know anything about me. Oh, you'd like to think that, wouldn't you, that you're just some huge mystery to me. Why does Lorelai do that? I don't know. She's a mystery to me. Well, you're not so mysterious, Lorelai. No. No, what am I then? Well, right now, you're very loud and disruptive to the entire cleaning process. For God's sake, what do I have to do to get you to put the damn sheets in individual bags? Fine, I give up. Your subject, did Charles I receive a fair trial? The pros will represent the parliament who deemed they had sovereignty, and the cons will represent the monarch and try and prove that the charge against him was not legal. What is fascinating, Mr. Dugray? Uh, nothing, Miss Caldecott. Nothing, Mr. Dugray? My notes. My notes are fascinating, Miss Caldecott. Yes, they are fascinating, Mr. Dugray. As I was saying, the pro and con teams will each have 2 minutes and 30 seconds for introductions, 6 minutes to debate, 3 minutes for conclusions, and 5 minutes for questions from the audience. The winners shall be decided by a hand count from the rest of the class. Does that sound like fun, Mr. Dugray? What? The debate. Does it sound like fun? Yes, it does. It does, doesn't it, Mr. Dugray? Oh, it absolutely does, Miss Caldecott. More fun than staring at Miss Gilmore's ear? Yes, Miss Caldecott. Yeah, I think so, too. Okay, any questions? Good, I'll assign your teams. Uh, you, you, you, and you, con. You, you, you, and you, pro. You, you, you, and you, con. I think she... You, you, you... Excuse me, Miss Caldecott? Miss Geller? I wasn't sure who you pointed to just now. Oh, uh, let's see. You, Miss Lynn, Miss Grant, and Miss Gilmore. Are you sure? Yes, I am, but thank you for asking. Okay, uh, you, you, you, and you, pro. You, and you, con. So I guess we should make a plan. To do what? To work out our debate, Madeline. Oh, yeah, right. We need a place to work. My house is out. Why? Because it is. You need a reason. My mother is having the entire place redone. She wants all evidence of my father out of there. So unless you want to sit on no furniture while watching three Harvey Fierstein impersonators rip up the carpet and paint everything a ridiculous shade of white and call it Angel's Kiss, then we're going to have to find somebody else's house to go to. My brother has the measles. My mom's having an affair. Well, I guess we could go to my house. I mean, we're having a town rummage sale, so it's kind of a mess, but it's there. Isn't your house kind of far? It's 30 minutes away by bus. Bus? I don't do bus. Well, if you have a better suggestion. I'll drive. Okay, so then tomorrow. Tomorrow. Fine. Hey, Paris. Tristan, hi. You know, I was really hoping we'd be in the same group. You were? Oh, yeah. I mean, we would make the long hours of studying go by a lot faster. I mean, plus, come on, you and me on the same team. We'd wipe the floor with the others. I guess we'll just have to pair up on something else then, huh? That would be good. Yeah, it would. I'll see you later. Bye, Madeline. Bye, Louise. Well, Tristan certainly has very big eyes for you, Grandma. Lucky. Stop it. He's just being nice. He should be so nice to me. And me. We need to get to class. Rory, I think your friends are here. She must be one great babysitter to earn enough money for that car. Let's just get this over with. Take heart, my dear. Suffer today, party tonight. Hey. Hi. Come on in. So did you guys find it okay? There's no sign on this street. I know. That's why I told you to turn right at the big rooster statue. I thought you were kidding. Oh, no, we never kid about Monty. Monty? Monty the rooster, Monty. Oh. Monty the magnificent, actually. Hey, everybody, this is my mom, Lorelei. This is Louise, Madeline, and Paris. Oh, very good girl group names. Okay, so, um, sorry about the house of horrors here. Some crazy lady volunteered to lead this charity thing, and we're trying to get her some help, so make yourselves comfortable. Rory, just yell when you guys want pizza. Okay. So, do you guys want to work in here or in the kitchen? Whatever. Okay. Okay, so here's how it should go. Madeline will do the introductions. I'll handle the debate. Rory will do the conclusion, and Louise will take questions. Why do you automatically get to handle the debate? Because I'm the most experienced at it. Trust me, you want her to handle the debate. She never gives up. Le people. Okay, so what is all this stuff? Uh, it's for a big town rummage sale. Like a charity thing? Yeah, there's this old bridge that's completely falling apart and the town's trying to save it. Stop, boy. Could you tell me where I could find the shortening? Now, that is a fine-looking apron. I mean it. I mean, really sensational. What are you doing here? Well, to be honest, there's something I wanted to ask you. In your professional opinion, which one of these would make my cakes fluffier? You drove all the way out here just to be a jerk. There aren't enough people who can't stand you in Hartford. Oh, no. I'm here for Rory. What? Yeah, the play. Romeo and Juliet? Yeah, what about it? I'm Romeo. She's Juliet. Yeah, come on. She must have told you. But she did tell you, didn't she? Look, I think you better leave. Oops. God, I am so sorry. I am such a klutz. Now, here. Let me. This should cover it. You know what? I hope for Rory's sake that you got an understudy. Dean, hi. Rory, what is he doing here? I need to talk to you. I got something to settle with this guy. Outside, please. All right. I'm outside. I'm really sorry I didn't tell you about this before, but Tristan... Is playing Romeo to your Juliet. Yeah, I heard. But he wasn't even in our group at first, and then no one else wanted him, and then Paris moved our rehearsal spot to here, and she did it today, and I didn't have time to tell you. You and Tristan wind up throwing together a lot at that school. It's just a project. That's all. Nothing more. You and Tristan playing Romeo and Juliet. Perfect. Really? Really amazing. I know you hate it. Yeah, I hate it. I really hate it. But we do the scene on Sunday, and then it's over, and it's back to Tristan? Who? I don't know Tristan. Tristan? You must mean that young boy who got mysteriously strangled by a dosis market apron one night. I heard about that. Awful. They say drugs were involved. Please, don't be mad. I'm sorry. I'm really, really sorry. Sorry about what? You didn't choose to do this with him, right? No, I didn't. What do you have to be sorry for? That... That I didn't tell you about the rehearsal. And that no doubt it's touring with you two. I know you're extremely disappointed in Bono. All right, so... So when's this thing over? Sunday. Okay. I'm gonna walk around the block. Just get him out of the market. Right away. Oh, true apothecary. Thy jokes are quick. Line. Thus with a kiss I die. How hard is that to remember? Thus with a kiss I die. Right. And then I kiss her, right? Yes. You say, thus with a kiss I die, then you kiss her and die. Why are you smiling? Do you think this is a joke? The performance is tomorrow. Wait, tomorrow? Oh, my God. I totally missed it the first 47 times you said it. I warned you. I am not going to fail this because of you. I will replace you with Brad in a second. Oh, dear God, no. Can we just get through the scene? Please. Fine. But yell line once more and you're out. Start memorizing. Oh, true apothecary. Thy jokes are quick. Thus with a kiss I die. What? Well, it's just, with this being our last kiss and all, it makes me think about our first kiss. You know, at the party. What? Lie down. You're dead. Oh, we all are. You remember the kiss. In act one of the Capulet's Mask party. What about it? Well, I was just trying to think of something that would make this kiss as special as that one. Tristan. I thought she could cry. What? She's dead. You're dead. Lie down. Yeah, but that's the beauty of it. No one would expect her to cry. I would. You know, funny you should say that. I need to take five. You know what? Let's all take five. That way you can all cancel whatever plans you had tonight because we are staying here until we get this right. Who could you possibly be calling? He is unbelievable. Dean, I really need you to leave. What? The play is tomorrow and it's 50% of my grade and you standing there staring at Tristan, it's like a challenge or something. Well, I don't like the way he's messing with you. I don't like it either, but we have to get through the scene and we can't get through the scene with you standing there. So, Dean, please? Fine. Call me later. You know, I noticed you didn't cry when you kissed him. I'm starting to feel a little insecure. What is wrong with you? I think I liked you better comatose. I thought you weren't going to say anything. Did I say that? You make it impossible for anyone to be nice to you. No wonder you had to join our group. Anyone who's actually suffered through the experience of going out with you would absolutely know better. Gee, I really wish we could continue your analysis on how pathetic I am. Unfortunately, I have to meet some friends. Where are you going? Where is he going? We're not finished! Hey, I'm the director here! Tristan! Tristan, come back! Are we meeting there or what? What are you talking about? The concert's tonight. Well, I hope you and the empty seat next to you have a lot of fun. I'm starting to get a little irritated here. So am I. What are you mad about? You've been telling everyone that I'm going to this thing with you. Just a couple. You told Paris. Paris and I had just started getting along, and now she hates me again. Well, if the damage is done, you might as well go to P.J. Harvey with me. Never, never. I am never going anywhere with you, ever. You know, these tickets cost me a fortune. They cost your daddy a fortune. I don't even know anybody else who's even into this stupid guy. P.J. Harvey's a woman. What are you doing? You'll get them back when you agree to go with me. You're pathetic, Tristan. Keep the books. I'm leaving. Dean? Dean! What are you doing here? I'm leaving. Don't go. I shouldn't have come. No, wait. I feel like an idiot. Why? Because I come all the way out here, and I see you with him. It's just great. No, Tristan was just... I don't care. No, listen. He's got your books, Rory. But he took them. He wouldn't give them back. Please, just tell me why you're here. I don't even know. Yes, you do. Because I thought you... Forget it. No, say it. I thought you were trying to talk to me. Oh. I mean, you came to my house. That wasn't me. It was you. It must have been someone that looked like me. My sister recognized you from the pictures in my box. In what box? The box of stuff I have of us. Pictures and letters and everything from you. You have a Rory box? And what was going on at the town meeting? All that stuff about writing a song. I don't know what I was talking about. That had nothing to do with me? Well, I must have imagined it all then. Your boyfriend's waiting. He's not my boyfriend. I hate him. Whatever. Dean! What? Stop! Why? Because I love you, you idiot! Do you remember the first kiss? Stars shooting across the sky To come to such a place as this You never left my mind Do you understand what I'm trying to explain to you? I don't take orders from you. Do you speak English? Are you listening to me? I'm not speaking English. Ah, what took you? Sorry, I got here as quickly as I could. Hi, Kurt. Do not address him as a scoundrel. I'm just doing my job. What's going on? Am I or am I not the head man in charge of floral deliveries? Yes, and one of the few men I know who would proudly declare that fact. I'm just doing my job. Stop saying that. This has to do with flowers we ordered? Flowers we did not order. I'm just doing my job. Say that one more time and I'm going to punch your nose. It must be a mistake. There's no mistake. I did not order these flowers. It says that you have to be here to personally accept them. That I have to be here? Well, that's... I am head man in charge of flowers. I just do what I'm told. I warn you to stop saying that. That's not what I was saying before. It's a little variation that will still lead to a punch on the nose. Daisies, no less. As if I would order these pitiful little things. Foul things, these daisies. And just a notch up from weeds. And look how many. I mean, there must be at least... A thousand of them. A thousand yellow daisies. That's right. There's exactly a thousand of them. Order states that there is to be exactly a thousand. Not a thousand and one, not nine hundred and ninety-nine, but a thousand. You ask for a thousand, I bring a thousand. I don't question the orders. I merely fill them. A job well done, Mr. Adolf Eichmann. I couldn't find a horse. You didn't have to... Don't say anything, okay? Please. You were right last night. I shouldn't have proposed to you like that. I mean, it was stupid. It was the wrong place and the wrong time. And I kicked myself the entire night for doing it. But you were wrong about something, too. I didn't propose to you because we were fighting. I proposed because I love you. We're in a bad pattern, Laura, and we have to break it. And other than that murder-suicide thing you were talking about, which would be illegal and messy, I can only think to be impetuous. Max! No, listen. I woke up this morning and I realized that I have studied and taught the great literature all my life. And those stories are replete with characters that let opportunity slip by.