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字幕由 Amara.org 社群提供 這部影片由 Amara.org 社群提供 We touch the sky! Dad, I've got Maggie. Who's that, Dad? Come on, Bart. When your dad gets his glasses, we'll go shop for your trip. I hate shopping. Just give me a deck of cards and I'll win whatever I need from the other kids. But you need to try things on. Every brand has a different idea of husky. I'm in tantrum position. T minus five. Four. Three. Remembering dead cat for real tears. Fine, you win. I'll do your shopping for you. Tantrum averted. But now I can't forget the cat. OK, let's get started. Hey, wake up. Sorry. Now read the first line. I ate pee-pee. Better or worse? Worse. Better or worse? Much better. Dad. That pair's popular with celebrities like Val Kilmer. My favorite door. And Yoko Ono? Ew. She ruined the plastic Ono band. Maybe you're a candidate for laser eye surgery. Will it get me out of having to choose glasses? Well, yes, but I must warn you it's an experimental procedure and we still don't know the long term effect. Less yapping, more zapping. Well, looks like we got everything for Bart's camping trip. Blair Witch Repellent, Antler Saw and Deep Wood Scrabble. Tango Del Amorte. I've been dying to see that movie. It got rave reviews from both the Entertainment Radio Network and the Radio Entertainment Network. Let's go. Wait. You've got to use these drops. They prevent your eyes from crusting over. Here we go with the add-ons. No thanks. Now that my severed foot has been reattached, I must win back the coveted dance title, Loco Legs. As your wise but alcoholic dance coach, I know that somewhere your father is looking down on you and smiling. Oh, there he is. And now I must choose a beautiful partner for the big dance contest. Oh, he'll never dance with her. She'll have to settle for some Mexican millhouse. I demand to know your name. My name is Lisa Bella. That's my name with Bella on the end of it. Ask her. Oh, God. Please ask her to dance. I shall dance with her. Qué malo. Once again, I must sugar my own churro. But I am just a simple librarian. I have only read about dancing and books. I will show you something that is in no book. She's not playing. She's beautiful. There is just one dance that will beat them. The tango de la muerte. Only one man was crazy enough to dance that dance, and he is dead. My twin brother, Fredwardo. But when he died, I shall live in his apartment. Now carrying my child. But how? It is the mystery of the dance. Oh, Mom, I want to be a wonderful honey. We should ask your father, though. Where is he anyway? Now, homie, when we get to the liquor store, buy me some Jack Daniels and a carton of smokes. Yes, dear. I remember little Vicky Valentine. Her perky smile and dancing brought America right out of the Depression. Well, I think World War II helped a little, Mom. Don't smart mouth, Lisa. A great big sunshine hello to you. Hello, Vicky. That was such a long time ago. I'm just plain Vicky now. All right. I'd like to sign my daughter up for lessons, Vicky. Little Vicky. But you just said that what dance style were you interested in? We have ever so many. There's ballroom. You stepped on my toes again. If you would just let me lead. You're not a leader, Seymour. Never have been, never will be. There's square dancing. The birdie in the cage out lady in the center. Now the birdie is birdie and the crows hop in. Pluck the feather all together. Hell bent for leather. Put your honey in the saddle. Or there's the dance that made me ever so famous. Tap. I want to learn a dance I can use in real life like the tango that I'm wearing. Bless your heart. Let's get you some tap shoes. Little Vicky. I really think she had her heart set on me. Then advise. Don't live through your child. Okay. Camp is going to be great. Seven days without parents, homework or ear medicine. Yes, sir. This is going to be the best week of our young lives. I'm going to pound you two all week. What do we do? Nothing. But I got to pound somebody. Now where do we go? I don't want to go home. My grandma's sleeping in my bed and she has skin like a basketball. Wait a minute. Everybody thinks we're at camp this week. We can stay wherever we want. Yeah, like the Four Seasons. Each room has its own set. I've got a better place. The mall? Yeah, just like my dad always says. For an evening or a week, there's no place like the mall. Food, fun and fashion, the mall has it all. What? What did he say? Now, the key to great dancing is one word. Tap-a-tap-a-tap-a. Teacher, my shoes are making noise. You must be Ralph. My daddy shoots people. Good. Wait a minute. Somebody's off the beat. Let me hear you two. OK, now you. Children, stop it. For all you know, she has a medical condition. No. I see. No mosquitoes. No stupid camp songs. If you're happy and you know what shop it stands, giant discounts on your favorite major brands. Attention, shoppers. The mall is now closed. OK, folks. You heard the recording. Clear out. Wait. This is just chocolate. Chocolate! And these are gummy worms. Gummy! Warheads. Jelly bellies. We're like two kids in a candy store. Yes! Flavor's gone. Shoe fight! No golf shoes. Ready, Milhouse? Give me a sec. Look at this place. How could this happen? Candy-chewed wigs pulled from stands. Cheese packages poked and re-poked. Every sign points to one obvious culprit. A giant rat. You'll have to shut down the mall. On President's Day weekend, are you crazy? Crazy with concern for the public, yes. Now shut this place down before the old folks come in for their morning walk. Tapa, tapa, tapa. Sorry. The floor's kind of at an angle here. I'm gonna move over there. OK, from Tapa, tapa, tapa. This is back dancing. Makes my feet sad. Let's take five. What am I doing wrong, little Vicky? Well, you're falling a lot. Maybe you should work on that. Yeah. Well, no offense, but maybe I need a little more instruction than just Tapa, tapa, tapa. Why? Back when I was your age, I had 43 movies under my belt, and I had to do it without Tapa, tapa, tapa. I would have killed for Tapa, tapa, tapa. Sorry. I'm just frustrated. Well, you'll never save Grandpa's farm with that attitude. You've just got to turn that frown upside down. That's a smile, not an upside-down frown. Work on that, too. Hey, I got a postcard from Bart. Dear Mom and Homer, I'm having fun. It sounds like he's having fun. Why does it have a picture of Vitamin Bar? Didn't you ever go to camp? Yo, Vitamin Bar. There's our Broadway baby. Hey, dig that crazy rhythm. I'm just walking. Listen, I know I said I wanted to be a dancer, but... And you will be a dancer. Look at you all, jigger and bite instead of equations and test tubes. You're Daddy's precious dancing queen. And you look adorable. Now, honey, what were you trying to say before we kept interrupting with our loving proudness? Yes, our tiny Tapa. What was it you were going to say after I wanted to be a dancer, but... But I just... We need more practice. See ya. Oh, what's that awful sound? The furnace? It's me. Why is you so down, little Miss Vicky? My kitty cat's sick. And I'd be ever so sad if she should die. Well, I'm no animal doctor or nothing. But whenever I'm feeling poorly, you know what fixes me up? Dancing. Dancing? Dancing. Oh, I'll show you how. Are you getting it? Look at me, Pops. He's better than I knew. We'll catch that mall rat. Sure hope this acne kit works. Gosh, that cheese looks good. Think I can grab it before that anvil hits? Well, I don't know, Chief. It's a million to one. I like those odds. My mistake was grabbing the cheese. Got me a job. I'm saving my piece of life. Professor Frank, will that spaceship be ready for the recital? I have visited the future, and yes, it will. Okay, kids. Tonight's the big night. Now remember, the important thing is to just dance flawlessly. Excuse me. Why isn't my name in the program? It is, silly. You've got the most important part of all. Curtain puller. No one can see the show if the curtain isn't open. But my parents are counting on seeing me dance. And I've worked ever so hard. I'm sorry, Lisa. But giving everyone an equal part when they're clearly not equal is called what again, class? Communism. That's right. And I didn't tap all those morse code messages to the allies till my shoes filled with blood just to roll out the welcome mat for the Reds. All right. I'll be the stupid curtain puller. Smoothly. Puller, puller, puller. I get your puller, puller, puller. Excuse me, Lisa. But I couldn't help but overhear your nerdly predicament. Maybe I can be of assistance with the dancing and twisting and the kung fu fighting. I first observed this technology at the airport gift shop. As you see, it responds to any percussive sound with an exuberant shaking of its grooved thing. Yeah, yeah. Most entertaining, but how does that help me? Observe. Oh. That's brilliant, Professor. What will you think of next? Well, I also found this at the gift shop. Isn't it cute? I'm hoping to turn it into a weapon. I'm going to kill you. I've got to go now. Okay, Mr. Rat. We've got a little playmate for you. Now! Can I get the backup lion, chief? What you... Can you see the lion anywhere? Well, can you see him or not? Are you saying he's right on the other side of that plant? Okay. Run! Genius! You okay, Milhouse? Nothing that a handful of gummy bears can't fix. Well, well. Looks like the cat got the rat. And that's the end of that tale. Uh, chief? Should we try and get the mountain lion back in its crate? I repeat. Okay, everyone. We need big smiles out there, so line up for dimpling. Now, this may hurt a lot. What am I saying may? Now, that's a happy face. Little Vicky, I figured out how to dance. I can be in the show now. I'm sorry, Lisa. People go to a children's dance recital expecting a certain level of professionalism. But you don't understand. I ate too much plastic candy. Heavens to Betsy. The star of the show is sick. Whatever will we do? There's only one person who can get us out of this pickle. Lisa? Yes? Help me into Ralph's costume. Showtime, children. Let's go. Okay, curtain puller. This is your moment to shine. Go. It's too important. I'll do it for you. Lean, muscular children of Mars. We bring you candy. Let's walk over to them. Why walk when you can dance? Where's Lisa? Shh. This plot is hard enough to follow as it is. On the spaceship Lollipop, gingerbread Men like to do hip-hop And chocolate cake In Ralph's costume Dance all morning There she is. Hi, Herbie. Wow. Look at her go. Yeah. That pressure we put on her really paid off. By the upstaged little Vicky. Shh. I'm just getting started. Lisa's gone berserk. Do something, Homer. Do something. Thanks, Dad. I didn't think I'd get that. Self-tapping shoes? I'm ever so pissed. I'm sorry, Vicky. I just wanted to be a dancer so badly. I understand. We all do crazy things when we're desperate. I once destroyed Buddy Epson's credit rating. Why? He knows why. Jesus, Mary and Glaven. These shoes are in the off position. You mean I danced all by myself? See, honey? All you needed was to believe. What are you talking about, Professor Frank? They're clearly in the on position. See? On. I was merely trying to spare the girl's feelings with a sensitive claw. Oh! Well, now that I look even closer... Forget it, Dad. Ugh. Guess I'm never gonna be your Broadway baby. Not true, honey. You can always write a depressing Broadway play of some kind. You think so? Sure. It could be a story about people coming to terms with things. Hey, yeah. You could load it up with lots of squares. That's what David Mamet does. I love you guys. Uh-oh. It's out of its matrix. Nobody move. Why, it's just a cute little weasel. Hello there, Mr. Weasel. Ah!