Jurassic World Rebirth - Movie Review

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5 Video Views·Jul 4, 2025
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And now Jurassic World...
What number is this?
So Jurassic World Rebirth is the newest Jurassic World film in the Jurassic franchise.
Directed by Gareth Edwards.
Written by David Koepp, who was the screenwriter for the original Jurassic Park movie.
I mean, he's been the screenwriter for a lot of stuff.
You'll recognize some great, some not.
But that is the talking point here,
but they got the screenwriter for the original Jurassic Park movie.
So here's hoping.
We'll see how that works out.
It's been years since the world found out about these dinosaurs.
Dinosaurs are out and about, but they do keep themselves relegated to the equator.
Which does make it sillier that everyone knows about these dinosaurs.
And then there's this family that's just going on a pleasure cruise in dino territory.
See these fins?
Like, what is that?
I don't know.
It's...
What is that?
It would...
Kind of looks like a dinosaur fin, but I can't recognize it as a dinosaur fin.
Because it's almost like I'm not supposed to remember that dinosaurs are out there in the world.
Because if I recognize it, we wouldn't be in deep ----.
You know, we're in a movie after all, didn't you know?
And this movie is every bit the video game plot it looked like from the trailer.
A group of mercenaries led by Scarlett Johansson and Mahershala Ali.
I say it's led by both of them because they're the two biggest stars in the movie.
And I don't really know who the real leader is.
Lead this team of mercenaries to Dino Island to get DNA from three specific dinosaurs.
Because it can cure disease.
Right?
You can totally see that open world sandbox game where you play as a team of mercenaries.
Or a leader of a mercenary group.
And you're on this dinosaur island.
In which you can pick up main quests and side quests throughout the island that's infested with dinosaurs.
Actually, that sounds pretty badass.
Someone should totally get on this video game.
Then you come across someone who's like,
Oh hey, I've been meaning to talk to you.
Turns out dinosaur DNA can cure disease.
So I need you to get DNA from these three dinosaurs.
Think you can do that?
Great, I'll be here.
Not even a main quest, mind you.
That is a side quest.
The plot of this movie is a video game side quest.
I'll give them that though.
That's pretty in the pocket.
That plot is simple in the name of having a guardrail.
And that could be a strength.
But...
So Jurassic World Rebirth is a story of a family out pleasure cruising in Dino territory.
Then they get stranded on this dinosaur island.
Hopefully they can meet up with this mercenary group so they can get off the island.
Yep, it's another movie in which someone was like,
All right, we have two drafts of this new Jurassic World Afterbirth movie.
Which one do we want to use?
Do both drafts have dino monsters chasing people?
But yeah, pretty much.
Then that's your answer.
Yes.
Fuck yeah.
Feels like two scripts forced into one movie.
The plot feels simple to its strength until it just over complicates itself for no reason whatsoever.
In fact, there's one character with the family in which I was like,
I have never been so happy to know that this is a monster movie.
And you're gonna get eaten.
Much to my disappointment.
There is the possibility and the movie is definitely dabbling in it.
Because it's the only...
It's the only plot point to have there.
This guy's dating the daughter.
The dad thinks he's a douche.
So this guy starts to gain the respect of the dad.
But it's never seen to its conclusion.
The guy just deflects and says something else.
The dad just shakes his head in disappointment.
You never feel like he fully actually gains the dad's respect.
That would have been something.
Or you know, he can get eaten.
There's that.
Nothing wrong with a douchebag being dino food in a monster movie.
I keep calling them monsters because that's the plot of the Jurassic World movies has been.
Also in this film is that they're not really dinosaurs at this point.
They're dino adjacent.
They're mutations.
At this point in this movie in particular, they look like creature cards from Magic the Gathering.
The family in this movie feels like they were fabricated to take up screen time.
Just for the sake of the corporate douchebag.
Because there's always a corporate douchebag.
But his general sense of corporate douchebaggery, that's not enough.
No.
You need the audience to truly see that he's a piece of ----.
This family is like a family MacGuffin that gives him that opportunity.
But now you're stuck with a family.
A family that kind of feels out of place in this otherwise mercenary side quest video game quest movie.
Do want to give the movie credit where credit's due though.
Gareth Edwards being tapped to direct this movie.
Absolutely apparent as to why.
You want the big monsters on screen to feel enormous.
And Gareth Edwards excels at illustrating size and scale on screen.
There were also some moments of dino tension.
Not going to say there's not.
But it kind of wore thin.
It started to feel old when you realize the scenes are just kind of rinse and repeat.
Monster scenes that feel indistinguishable from the previous scene.
Dino tension in this movie is as such.
Dino monsters coming after people.
People running or dangling from a thing.
Dinosaurs chomping at their feet.
And they're just missing the dinosaur teeth by a hair.
Sometimes dangling.
Sometimes running.
But the jaws are missing them by this much.
And you just kind of rinse and repeat that thing throughout the movie.
But the vibe is definitely Scarlett Johansson, Mahershala Ali.
They're picking up the easiest paydays.
It's like, all right, let's just we're on autopilot to get through this thing.
Mahershala Ali's character is the most interesting character in the movie.
Not that that's saying a lot.
The bar is not that high.
I don't think this piece of paper can limbo under that bar.
But there is at least a sense that when these mercenaries start getting picked off by dinosaurs.
They are friends.
Colleagues.
People he's served with.
So he at least is the character who's taking a moment like, my friends just died.
They're your friends too, right Scar Jo?
Yeah.
Oh, you don't give a **** though?
Okay.
Well, I'm going to take a moment.
There were also scenes that sometimes subtly, sometimes blatantly just pull from the original film.
Sometimes thematically, sometimes in the way it's shot.
You have the velociraptor in the kitchen chase sequence, stealth sequence in this movie.
Only they're super pterodactyl velociraptors and has a lot more product placement.
You know, because you need that these days.
They even have a scene from the original Michael Crichton book in here.
Which I thought was actually pretty awesome.
Just in the fact that it was here.
If you have the raft scene in this movie,
the waterfall scene in Lost World and the pterodactyl scene from Jurassic Park 3.
You kind of have the whole scene from the book.
But this movie does pull from the first movie to the degree where the irony is lost on no one.
This movie is every bit the Frankenstein monster version of the original.
That the monsters in this movie are to the dinosaurs.
Though the original Jurassic Park is very near and dear to my heart.
It's one of those movies that can pop in.
And recapture that feeling of the first time I watched it.
Every time I watch it.
I don't expect the new Jurassic movies to recapture that.
I just hope that they feel a little more original than generic grade B monster movie.
With an enormous budget.
Enormous budget and very noticeable green screen that is.
Because that's what this is.
A couple scenes aside where Gareth Edwards is showcasing what he does best on screen.
It's generic monster movie the movie in Jurassic World Rebirth.
I'm not going to remember in t-minus one day.
Yep I've already forgot.
Or it's a Jurassic World Rebirth.
Have you seen it?
What did you think about it?
Or what's your favorite Jurassic?
Not even worth asking.
The original I know.
Second favorite Jurassic movie.
There we go.
Or favorite monster movie.
Whatever it is.
Whatever you think.
Comment below.
Let me know.
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