Book Prize Winners: Are They Worth the Hype? 🏆 Booker, Women's Fiction, Dagger and more! 📚✨

So I'm gonna be honest, I have never thought of myself as like a reader who reads intelligent, modern, literary fiction. I've always been a bit intimidated by book awards. I've always been a bit scared of them. Petrified. Petrified. Apart from Goodrich Choice Awards, which is like my level, just basically what's popular. But in terms of the books that are winning really prestigious awards, I've always been a little bit scared off by them. I've always been intimidated by them. I've always thought like if they're winning those awards, they're gonna be too clever for me. I just like reading my silly little murder mysteries and like cosy fantasy. You know what I mean? But you know what? I do like a clever book. I like when I see a book like, oh that's clever, that's doing something clever, some intelligence in that book. That's like a compliment I give to books a lot. So today I'm gonna be trying to become one of those award winner reader girlies. I love watching like booker prize like prediction lists or people reading the short list or stuff like that. So today we're gonna be reading the winners of a collection of different awards, the most recent winners of these awards. I've tried to get a selection of different types of awards, different genres, and yeah we're gonna be diving straight in and trying to become that girlie who like reads literary fiction. So shall we just dive straight into it with the books we're gonna be reading? First of all let's start with the Booker Prize and we're gonna be reading Orbital by Samantha Harvey. This is very short. I'm actually gonna start with this I think and try to read as much of it as I can today. I don't know a ton about the synopses of these so I'm gonna have a quick glance of the synopses. Basically all I know about this one is it's sci-fi and I think there's like six astronauts orbiting earth. Am I right? I think I'm right. News reaches them of the death of a mother and with it comes thoughts of returning home. Interesting. It's basically them observing earth. That's all I need to know. But yeah, it's intimidating. I feel like the Booker is like the like clever book award, you know what I mean? I've read a few Booker award winners. Am I right in saying Girl, Woman, Other won the Booker? I believe I did. I loved Girl, Woman, Other. That was a great great book. So here's hoping this one's successful as well. We'll talk about more of the synopses of these once I've read them. Then I also thought we'd go for the International Booker. I love watching people's predictions for the International Booker. This is a sort of booktube I do like to dabble in watching myself. I really want to do the International Booker because my reading this year has been far too US-centric for my liking. Like so many books I've read have been set in the US and I'm not enjoying that. So this is Kairos by Jenny Eppenbeck. I believe this is set in Germany yet Berlin. Two characters meet by chance on a bus. She is a young student, he is older and married. This scares me. This probably scares me more than Orbital. I actually think this scares me more. No, this and one other seem like intelligent books, you know what I mean? It scares me more than another one. Then I thought we would go with an award that I have definitely ragged a lot of the like nominees and winners that go in this award category. I find this award, this award, and we'll talk about the cons of this award ceremony, this award, I don't know what that word is, like this award existing um later on because there has been some controversy around this. But I find it does do a good balance of balancing like popular books that people who are very into the genre are reading whilst also like praising high quality works, you know what I mean? So we've got the winner of the Hugo Award, the most recent winner of the Hugo Award, Some Desperate Glory by Emily Tesh. This is another sci-fi. We're following Keir who's been trained for the day she can avenge the destruction of planet Earth but her brother is assigned to certain death and she is relegated to the nursery to bear sons and she must take prevent. I've read Emily Tesh before, I spoke about this in the TBR Cluedo this was on. The Emily Tesh I've read before is like cozy fairy-like fantasy and so um I'm kind of like how does that square up with this? This feels very different but excited to pick it up also. Then I know I wanted like a mystery thriller award. I'd say the two big ones are the Edgar and the Dagger and if I'm honest I feel like the Edgar is more well known but I looked up the winner and it was like some western mystery that I didn't want to read. I can't do it, my heart is saying no. So we're going to the most recent winner of the Dagger, Tell Me What I Am by Una Mannion. Never heard of it, it's about I think a niece and an aunt trying to find their way back to one another, both living difficult lives, trying to reach for another, you know, Ruby the young girl trying to endure life with her father. This was like most in my wheelhouse out of all these books so probably the one I'm most excited for. Then we have Brotherless Night by Divi Ganesanathan. This is the winner of the Women's Prize for Fiction. I feel like I've read a few Women's Prize winners before as well. A 16 year old sassy wants to become a doctor but over the next decade as a vicious civil war tears through her home town of Jaffna, her dream spins off course as she sees those around her, including her four beloved brothers and best friend, get swept up in violent political ideologies and their consequences. Interesting. This reminds me of the kind of book I would read a lot. If you've just seen my video where I was exposing my old goodreads, I feel like this is similar to the kind of books that I would read back then. So these are the five books we're gonna be reading, a mix of genres, a mix of awards. I'm excited to test them all out and see what I think. These award winners. It's basically, we're both testing out my ability to read books like this. They're a bit out of my comfort zone and also do I think these should have won their awards? I mean I can't, I am not reading the whole shortlist for all of these different awards, but do I think that they're worthy of winning? Because when I read Girl from Another I was like, okay yeah, that deserved to win. That was a great book. So we're gonna read through these. I don't know quite the order but I think I am going to start with Orbital today, so hopefully I'll see you tonight with my thoughts. I'm going to literally go start this right this second. Um yeah, I'm excited to see what I think of this. It has taken me a week to read an 130 page book. Without getting into it too much, last week was stressful. We had some life stuff happening, some health stuff happening behind the scenes, and it meant I didn't read. And it meant I didn't want to read. And it meant least of all do I want to read this. Least of all do I actually want to read the books in this video. I'll get over it. I'll be over it by the time I read a couple more. I needed Mindless. I needed Lady Hardcastle level, you know what I mean? And this, this is all a bit above that. This is all a bit above my pay grade. And so um yeah, this wasn't the right vibe. This wasn't the right vibe. Hence I'm gonna read the Thriller in this vlog next because I feel like this is the closest to the vibe that I need right now. But I have finished Orbital and here's the thing. I'm giving this two stars based on my personal enjoyment. It is basically following six astronauts as they rotate Earth and like thoughts they have as they rotate Earth in a I think this caught me at the wrong time. So like I can't really just say whether they're like, oh I think this should have won the booker or not. What I do think this is, is I think it's pretentious. Do you want to apologize? Not really. Do you think that was a nice thing to say? No, you're dramatic. You're f***ing dramatic. I'm so f***ing dramatic. And I think maybe that may be like a common theme. Not necessarily between these books, but between a lot of like award-winning books because like the judge is like, what's so clever? What's poignant? What's of the moment? And it often leads them to like pick like pretentious ----. That's kind of my outside looking in perspective. And this definitely fulfilled that. I felt like it was using like, it was trying to have the most beautiful writing and trying to use the most beautiful words to say like fairly basic human concepts. And it pissed me off a little bit. Now this is partly me. It's as partly my fault as I prefaced, you know, like this did not come at me at the right time. However, I did not give a ---- about anything this book was putting down. I did not resonate. Well, it wasn't I didn't resonate with it. We'll talk about that in the prose. I didn't like connect with it. At no point was I fully connected. You know when there's like a string between you and a book and like your connection? That was severed throughout the entirety of this book. A few things I do think it does successfully is that it's good to be reminded of some of these concepts. Like, you know, we're all the same. Borders shouldn't exist. Borders mean nothing. We're all human. And like, also, the thing that I found most helpful in my current state and current life was like the reminder of how small we are. And like, you know, that whole old adage of like, if the entirety of like the world's history was in a year, humans would be like, is it like a day or something like half a day is like a minuscule amount of humans have actually been here. All these crazy things we think about in the last hundreds of years are like a blip. I found that useful, you know, like none of this actually matters. None of this ---- matters. You know, I shouldn't be stressed about making these stupid videos on the internet because it doesn't actually matter. I mean that in a good way, you know, we're just doing this for fun, for shits and giggles, you know, so I think that's good and was like motivational on kind of like a weird way. But like on the back it's like, my goodness, this novel is beautiful. A short yet exquisite read, luminous, a gorgeous novel, one of the most beautiful novels I've read in a long time. I think everyone who reads this wants to think it's beautiful, wants to think it's gorgeous. Isn't that funny how like almost all the way back is like how beautiful or gorgeous or like stunning, luminous this book is? Isn't that interesting? That's all anyone has to say. Food for thought. Yeah, I don't have many thoughts because it's so short and like I barely, I did not resonate with it. I barely read it. That's where we are. I didn't enjoy it. And I didn't really mean anything to me and I went, what the ****? On the front, beautiful, stunning and uplifting. Why are you all saying this is beautiful? Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful. Anyways. Somebody lied to her several times and told her that she was fly, hot and sexy and beautiful and she's nothing like that. She's nothing of the sort. That's all I, sorry guys, I haven't been here, I haven't been existing in life. We're gonna hope for more to say about the books. But like that, I truly did not give a ----. Since we've been speaking, however, since we've been doing this video, another book has won the International Booker, a 2025 winner. So I am gonna try and read that. I think it's called Heartlamp. I think I'm gonna get the e-book because like I can't get my hands on that book anywhere. So that doesn't mean that Kairos will be relegated to just being a very intimidating book on my TBR that I probably wouldn't have picked up myself, but I'm not gonna unhaul it. But that's just a change in the set list for this video. I have received a parcel during the making of this video, so we're going to open it together and see who it's from. I think I know who this is from. I think who it is messaged me on Instagram. It is from Carrie! So there's two books in here. I only know about one of them. I think this is the one, okay, yeah, this is the one that I, Carrie told me about. Dungeon Crawler Carl. I'll be honest, I've no clue if you'll like this or not, but it's my favourite read of the year so far and there's a very fabulous cat in it, so I figured why not listen. Nessun Carrie. You know me! You know that's a very notable, you know, the cat needs to be fabulous if there's a cat. I get very annoyed when I read books with cats in them and they don't have a realistic cat voice. That's very, very important. Carrie, in fact, said that this reminded her of Dida. So if this has Dida energy, there's nothing better in the world. I'm excited! Princess Donut, I think, is the cat. Dida is such a princess. She's such a princess. I actually just got her, guys, let me show you. I got her a new harness because she's been slipping out of hers. I have no idea if this one will be better, but this is it. They actually didn't have the colourway that I wanted. I don't necessarily think there's a blue girl. Her current one's purple, which I feel like is her energy, but this is her new little harness, isn't it cute? I put it on her and she was like, oh, what the ****? But she did sleep on it. She did come and sleep her head on it, so I think that's a good sign. We'll see if it's, I think the way she goes in via her legs rather than her head. So I think maybe it'll be better. Anyways, thank you, Carrie, so much. Sorry, you reminded me of Dida. And then got, oh! Vera Wong's guide to snooping on a dead man. What does Carrie say? Here's something of your actual wishlist in case you don't like my other pick. Also, sorry for adding to your physical TBR. Don't apologise. Anytime anyone's gifting me something, they're like, sorry for adding to your physical TBR, don't apologise. I'd be doing it anyway. It's not a no buy, it's not a don't add, it's just a, we want a reduction, you know? So this is very exciting. This is the sequel to the first Vera Wong's book, and I'm very excited to see what I think of this. This will be such a fun, comforting read. So thank you so much, Carrie. I am now, like I said, going to start Tell Me What I Am. I've actually got reading spent to my patrons now, so hopefully I will get a good chunk of the way through this. I'm hoping a thruller will kind of, like, get me going again for this video. Oh, I've got something in my eye. I feel like I'm a bit of a chaotic check-in. Hopefully I'll be more myself tomorrow, guys. Or tonight. Who knows how far I'll get into this. So maybe I'll see you again. Maybe not. Who knows? Anyways, bye. Hello, friends. I just had a bite of a muffin, so I'm hoping you don't see any, my dude. I am only about a hundred pages into Tell Me What I Am. No, no, I think it's Mannion. I was saying it wrong. I'm about a hundred pages in, but I want to talk about this book. I'm worried I'm going to get into spoilery territory, but I'm a hundred pages in of, like, a 330-page book, so just keep that in mind. Basically, we are following, really from the perspectives of two women, or a girl and a woman. We're following Ruby, who lives with her father in this old farmhouse on this isolated, really isolated setting in Vermont on the lakes. Like, there's those islands on the lakes. And we're following her as she grows up with him and is told that her mother left them. But then we're also following the perspective of her mother's sister. We're jumping around in time a lot. So we follow when her mother, Dina, disappears. We're following, prior to that, the relationship between the sisters. After that, present day, the first chapter opens in the present day, Nessa, the aunt, trying to get in contact with Ruby and say, like, will you come see your family on your mother's side? This book is already feeling like a five star. And it's so interesting. I have a lot to say, which is why I usually don't check in this early, but I have a lot to say about what this book is doing. It's already feeling like a five star. This is sad. This is a really sad book and I'm feeling like it's gonna stay sad. It's not really a mystery or a thriller because you kind of know what's happened and you kind of know who the bad guy is. But there's that little bit of hope. It reminds me of Courtney Summers. I don't want to get into spoilers. You basically think, and this could be what happens. I'm hoping this isn't spoilers. You basically think the dad, Lucas, has killed the mother and then taken the child, Ruby, away because they were in a very abusive relationship. She was trying to get sole custody of the daughter. They had escaped him. They were living with the aunt and then she disappears. And so that's basically what the perception is. There's that little bit of hope she's not dead. I mean she's been missing for however many years. But it reminds me a lot of Courtney Summers books where it's sad, it's sad, it's sad. But there's that glimmer of hope and that glimmer of hope makes it all the more painful. What do I want to talk about first? What do I want to talk about first about the sadness? There's a lot of sad things. In terms of Ruby, it is so sad reading the portrayal of this child who is growing up in an abusive household and an abusive situation. But there's none of the obvious markers of abuse. It's a more insidious type of abuse. So she doesn't have the vocabulary or the understanding to really understand what she's experiencing. But she's experiencing all the trauma of that, but not being able to put a name to it. So he's not physically abusive. He's not verbally abusive to her really. It's like isolating her and controlling her and owning her that is so sad. And it's sad seeing her like feel these feelings as a child and not really understand why she's feeling like that because she just thinks, maybe something's not normal about my family. But that is written so well, but it's so sad. It's like to the bone sad. It's like a deep, cold sadness. Not like I was saying on the live show last night on the reading through, it's not the stab, stab, like, ouch, like sadness, but like this deep, deep, just inbuilt sadness. And when we're following the aunt's perspective, it's much more about like, at the moment, it's been kind of like pre the Ruby being born and after as Dina kind of escapes this abusive relationship. And it's so sad how it's like a full family endeavour to get her out of this situation, to get Dina out of this abusive relationship and to help her get on her feet and to help fix the situation. But like everything is sacked up against them. And knowing where it goes, partly, I mean, we still don't have a lot of answers, but knowing like, you know, all of that effort, the whole family putting together to try and like fix this, Ruby still ends up with her father incredibly isolated, alone, and not knowing any of them. And that's just so ******* sad. It's so sad. One thing that's interesting about this is there's no speech marks. And I've hated that before. I've hated that. Like, I don't like when Sally really does it. But I think it like helps create the atmosphere of this book. I think it lends itself very well to the atmosphere of this book, where A, it's kind of like something's off, something's a bit weird, it kind of like unsettles you. And also it kind of like really puts you in there with them. Like it puts you in the moment with them in a way. I don't really know how to describe it, but I'm enjoying it in this book. I think this is incredibly well written. It's some of my favourite kind of writing where like everything is done with like a lightness, but like it's getting through, you know, everything is trying to say, it's like kind of like a gentle touch, you know what I mean? But it gets to it. I'm loving it. I think this is a wonderful book. I'm gonna finish it today, hopefully, and let you know my thoughts later. But I'm sad. I'm so sad. And we're jumping around in time a lot. So far it's only been Nessa or Ruby's Perspective, but like we'll be in 1998 and then 2004 and then 2006 and 2000 and then we're moving around in time a lot. So yeah, yeah, it's really good. It's really, really good. It's really, really good. I think it's written so well. And this is kind of a shock to me because I'd never, like most of these books I'd kind of heard of, I'd never heard of this book before seeing that it won this award. So yeah, I'm gonna go finish it. I'll try not to spoil like if I'm happy with how it ends or not. But it's so sad, that glimmer of hope that like it could end okay, but I'm not sure if it will. I don't know. But I'm loving it. Loving it. I think it is such a well written book. Hello friends. Bear with me because I finished this I think Wednesday night. It's now Sunday. We'll talk about why life has happened in a sec. Why it's taken me so long to film this. Sorry, let me lower you down a bit. But I am giving this five stars. When I finished it, I was like, is that a favourite book of all time? I don't know if it stuck with me, that feeling, but also life has been pretty bad. So like my thoughts have been taken up with other stuff. But I love this book. I think this book is marvellous. I think the comparison I made to Courtney Summers in the first clip, or I believe I made that, is a good comparison. I think if you've read a lot of Courtney Summers YA, but you're looking for something more adult, I would recommend this as kind of like a natural stepping stone. It has that same like unflinching look, a very difficult topic and like refusing to give it like, I don't want to spoil anything. Refusing to give you little elements that make you like happy about stuff. You know what I mean? It's just like sad, but unflinching. It's real, you know, it's raw. This book is real and raw. I loved every second of it. I think the writing is wonderful. I think the look at like the trail of destruction that one person's evilness essentially can leave on people that they probably didn't give two shits about. Like the trail of destruction goes so far and so deep. I think this jumps around in time very well. It's very rooted in time and place, like Vermont and the Philadelphia setting. Both of the settings that we're kind of based in feel so vivid, feel so like, particularly Vermont, like she's growing up in this very kind of isolated island setting with the trees and the lake and the water and like the way of life and it feels very, very vivid. I just think this book is incredible. I am so glad that this video has made me read this. Thank God it won the dagger. I think it's very well deserving, but it's not a mystery and it's not a thriller. It is like just a sad book. It's just so sad. I would find myself crying at like moments that weren't even big moments, you know, like just moments of just pure like ****, like life is cruel, like this is ----, like it's just so like painful, you know, but just little moments of that. I would just be like making dinner, listen to a book and I just start crying, you know, it's just like oh. I love the writing style. I'd be very keen to pick more up from this author in the future. Yeah, sorry that I can't, like I'm not in the moment, so I'm not like, I can't remember probably a lot of my feelings and I also don't want to spoil anything. I can understand people not loving it. I can understand people reading it and thinking like it's slow, it's boring, nothing happens, but I think if you get it, you get it. I would really recommend some of you pick this up. I never saw this anywhere before this video. It's only got like 2,000 ratings I think on Goodreads. Make sure you're in the right place to read it, but yeah, there's so much about this book that was done in such an interesting way that, again, the lack of speech marks I think really made you feel there, made you feel intimate. Like there are moments where like you wouldn't say who had started speaking, but you'd know who it was, who like context clues and I just think that's such an interesting idea. Yeah, I loved it. I loved it. Five stars. One of my favourite books I read this year. So sad. So sad. But just like, you know, at the end of the day, the way that like the women in this family, the mum, the aunt and the child love each other at the end of the day, the way that shines through despite the separation, the years of separation, I think was really beautiful. So yeah, five stars. Beyond five stars. Now we have to, oh wait no, before we get into sad things, I have a parcel to open, which is very exciting. It's from Aline. I know it's from Aline, who's one of my lovely patrons, who I've been lucky enough to meet. She sent me a book and I think there's a note on the discord because it wouldn't, you couldn't leave a note with this. Let's read the note first. I read this book and I had to go out my way to get it for you because it has two elements you love. Mystery thriller vibes and mixed media. I can't wait to see what you think. Sorry for the net positive. It's fine. But she's short and has a lot of pictures. So I think you'll forgive me. Okay, what is it? Oh, I don't know if I've heard of this. Strange Pictures by Yoketsu? Sorry if I've butchered the pronunciation. The chilling Japanese mystery sensation. I'm gonna collapse. No, I don't. I feel faint. We've struck gold, ladies. Oh my god, you're so right. There's, this is full of like pictures and diagrams. Let me just do like a quick... Can you see? There's like loads of like pictures and... Blurred by Janice Hallett on the back. So captivating. I read it in a day. So disturbing. I thought about it all night. What's it about? A series of drawings made by a young woman before her death. A child's disturbing picture of his home. A desperate sketch made by a murder victim in his final moments. Each contain a chilling warning. Each reveal a terrible secret hidden in plain sight. This is so me. That is so exciting. Aline, thank you so much. Holy ----. I'm gagged. Oh my gosh. Well, that is very exciting. Thank you so much. Now let's just, I gotta give a bit of a life update. So let's go, let's go talk about it. Okay. I'm laughing because otherwise I will cry. So in this TBR Clue note that just got posted, I was like life's been a bit stressful lately. The story starts last week. Tom had a health scare that we're still a bit worried about. The health stuff, regarding other people I don't want to talk too much about because it's not my place, but that's something that's been very stressful that happened last week. Then, this week, a member of my family is very seriously ill in hospital and so I'm very worried about them and also, you know, about the family members who are doing a lot of caring for them and the way the family members who are like most affected are coping. Again, I don't want to, I feel like I'm butchering this, but I don't want to talk too much about that because that's someone else. It's not mine to talk about someone else's health to thousands of people, but just giving you some context as to what's going on, that is a big part of what's going on and I'm going to speak more about something else that's happening, but that's because it's happening to me and it does not mean that I care more about this other thing than the person in hospital. It's just that I don't want to, you know, talk about someone else's to thousands of people, but that is a big thing that's happening. Again, I'm going to leave it there, but that doesn't mean I care more about the thing I'm about to say, but they say bad things come in threes and bearing in mind today is Sunday, we were meant to be, the day that we were aiming to move into the flat, like months ago, was tomorrow, Monday. We knew that wasn't going to happen the past couple weeks, but we're hoping we'd move in in the next week or two. On Friday, we found out that the cellar has pulled out of the sale last minute, so we're not moving. We're not moving into the flat and I've been very devastated by this. You guys know I was very excited to move and, you know, it's like, it's a multitude of things, really. This flat was always my favourite when we'd been looking on Rightmove for months and like a year ago, it was my favourite. It's always been where I'd imagined us being and that's not happening anymore. But also Tom and I have been, you know, waiting to move out together for a very long time. We're 25, we're ready to live our own life. We love our family so much and we're so lucky to live with them, but at the same time, we're ready to move out. And so, going from thinking that was happening in a week or two, to knowing we're back at square one and won't be moving out for probably like six months. I'm aiming to move out before the end of the year. That's like a goal. I mean, we have no control over whether that happens. You know, I want to make sure we find the right place and don't rush into somewhere else. We've got some viewings this week and we're gonna have a proper look at us today, probably, on Rightmove. But like, ****. It's bad. Life is really ---- at the moment, behind the scenes. It's so bad. I don't think it's ever been this bad. I'm laughing to cover the pain. I don't find this funny. But yeah, the flat move is not happening. We're having to return. My brother's room, he's not here, he's at uni. His room is full of furniture that we've now got to return because I don't know if it will fit where we're moving to or go where we're moving to. And we're not going to be moving for a long time. So yeah, it sucks. It sucks. I mean, this cellar had been like, my patrons know more about it, but kind of like, you know, messing us about. But I'd kept hoping that it was still going to happen. And just like literally Friday before we were meant to move in on a Monday, we weren't going to move in on a Monday. We knew that, like, we're hoping it'd be in the next week or two. But everything was ready. We are six months later, wasted and thousands poorer for nothing. And yeah, it sucks. I don't think there's anything else to say. And just yeah, so those three things have been happening behind the scenes. Again, I don't want to talk too much about other people's health, but like, it's bad. It's ----. It's like beyond bad. And so yeah, that's what's happening behind the scenes. Yeah. So anyway, I've been like moping around for the last two days, just feeling sad since we found out about the flat. And like, I'm sure it happened for a reason and hopefully we'll find somewhere that's better. And, you know, there were like issues with the flat. There were things that we were worried about that they were like, it was an old property or right about the roof. I thought maybe they were hiding some stuff about the roof. So, you know, maybe it's for a reason. But like, I wish we almost pulled out in March because we were meant to move in in March and they delayed it at the last minute and we almost walked away and I wish we'd walked away then. So I'm not going to be moving for a long time. So, I mean, my bookshelf, I've left to rot because I was like, I was literally going to film myself packing all these books up next week and unhauling a ---- ton of them. I have no room on there for books. Like when I read books this year, there's no room for them. So I don't know what I'm going to do. Yeah, I think that's enough to say, but it's bad and it's bad for me, but it's also a lot, you know, for people in my family are very struggling at the moment and it's, yeah. So I'm sorry if the rest of this vlog isn't great. I'm going to say that now. I want to like, try my best, but I feel like maybe this week, I don't know. I don't know what I'm going to pull out. And like, you know, when you go through something ----, I kind of just want this vlog to be done and then I feel like I'll feel better in future vlogs. But like this one is tainted with being that when this happened. Also, I feel like these kind of aren't the books that I want to be reading right now. I want to be reading Easy Breezy Beautiful Cover Girl, like not intelligent books. You know what I mean? But here we are. I also want to finish this vlog. So this is where we are. I think I'm going to try and start Brotherless Night. I've kind of like, gotten bored of doing nothing the past few days and so I actually want to read. But also, I don't know if this book will be a bit intense, a bit intelligent for me, but we shall see. I'm going to try and start this today. Maybe I'll see you today again. Maybe I won't, you know, probably won't if I'm honest with you. Yeah, I'll let you know my thoughts. I'm a little bit but that's that's where we are. Not moving. The flat is gone. Never to be seen again. It's so sad, guys. It was a beautiful flat and I could like really imagine life there, but it's gone. So we have to move on. We have to move on. Anyways, love you all so much. Let's go start the book. Hello friends, how are we doing? It's been a hot minute since we last spoke. Here's the thing, I started this book and I was like, this could not be further from what I need right now in the midst of everything that was going on. I wanted light, I wanted fun, I wanted to camp, silly, you know, or just easily readable. Maybe an author I read from before, that's what I was craving. And so I went away and I read that. I read a book, My Book on the Road, Witchcraft for Old Girls by Grady Hendrix, which was not camp or fun, as you would expect from Grady Hendrix, but it was an author I've read from before and just an easy, you know, writing style for me to sink into. I'm back with this. It's like a week or longer since I last spoke to you. It's been a while and I'm like still not loving it. And it's like not only is this award winning, it's one of the highest rated books on my TBR. The girlies are obsessed with it, you know what I mean? And I... It's not for me, Mark. I feel terribly ill all of a sudden. Here's the thing, I can recognise it's a great book, like quality wise, I can recognise how great it is, but that doesn't always match up with my enjoyment, you know? So the plot, basically all you want to know is we're following, I think she's like 16, 15, 16, when the book opens. Her aspiration is to become a doctor, living in Sri Lanka, when a civil war breaks out, particularly to do with the Tamil people, and in her hometown of Jaffna, and it's how her family is affected by that and her story through the years, through the decades it might be, I don't know. I think we've... How many years have we passed already? Okay, so it's only been about five years that we've passed through already. And yeah, it's basically her recounting her story, and she sometimes breaks the fourth wall. She's like, I'm trying, you must understand, I'm trying to get you to understand, you know? It's very infrequent, but sometimes she's breaking the fourth wall, kind of telling you about why people in her family made certain decisions, or why she felt certain ways about things. And yeah, I don't know, I don't have a lot of thoughts. I can recognise it's well written, it's interesting, I don't know a lot about this event in history, the civil war that happened with the Tamil tigers, and Tamil people in Sri Lanka, and the kind of, you know, abuse of that ethnic group at the time. But I am just not... I think this is a problem I have a lot with clever books, where I am not, and this is gonna sound crazy for a character who's saying, who's speaking to you directly, I'm not as close to the characters as I want to be. I think sometimes with trashier books, not trashier books, but like, less literary books, you are closer with the character, there's less of a shield, there's less like, you know, writing style, or like, there's less to wade through before you get to the character. I don't know if this is making sense, but with literary books, I feel more at a distance. I feel like literary people don't think you should be that close to the character, that intimate with the character, and I want that. I like being like, walking side by side with them. And like, the way she's telling you the book would make you think that you are, but in terms of like, the way I feel towards the characters, I'm not feeling that feeling. Now, some of this is me. Some of this is like, apparently I just can't read difficult books, which I'm a little bit scared for finishing this vlog, but I'm in this deep, you know what I mean? So I kind of just want to complete the vlog project. People be like, oh Megan, you should like, just DNF'd, or like, go away and read something else. I did. I did go away and read something else. How long can I keep going away and read something else until I, uh, until I'm into it? So yeah, I don't know. I'm finding it interesting. There's actually just been a change. Oh, I'm halfway, I don't know if I said that to you. I'm halfway through the book. There's just been a change, or like a cliffhanger, that I'm very interested now to see where the book goes. So that has piqued my interest, and I'm interested to see, you know, the direction we take now. I'm hoping to finish this basically today, but I don't have a ton of thoughts. Hopefully I will in the second half. Um, we do have some parcels to open that have accumulated. We have two, whilst I have not been vlogging for like the past two weeks, or whatever it's been. Oh my god, guys, I'm still here, and I'm going to be here for the foreseeable. It's fine. You're gonna get a whole flat to yourself. Oh, I haven't told you. Okay, TLDR, we have had an offer except for another flat. We found another flat that we really enjoyed, but it's like, it's early stages. We had an offer except for another flat, which has helped, you know, dim the sadness a bit. Now this first one, there's not much more to say, because we literally just had an offer accepted. Anyways, anyways, this is from a publisher, it seems, and I have not asked for anything. Oh, I have! Wait, no, no, I was like, I didn't read the title or the author, and I just saw like a romance, and my confused face was like, why am I being sent a romance? No, no, no, no, no, no, I did, I did request this. Or, um, this is written, this is Suck Up and Stupid by Angori Rice and Kate Rice. Angori watches my videos. Hello, bestie. Hello, friend. She messaged me saying, uh, do you want to receive a copy of my book? And I said, yes, please! So I am very excited for this one. It's pride and prejudice reimagined in a sun-soaked enemies-to-lovers rom-com. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely, absolutely. I'm so- this is what I need to be reading right now. This is more the tone that I'm craving right now. Not that, like, this is a great book, I'm not trying to drag it, but it's just not the tone. Whereas this, I just want to chomp, chomp, chomp, devour. Thank you so much! Oh my god, I am so- as soon as she told me about it, pride and prejudice reimagined, I said, um, thank you! And then let's see, this looks like maybe it's two books or more? I don't know what's going on here. Oh, okay, what have we got here? Okay, fur! Esty! Okay, two things. Meg, I'm so sorry you're having a rough time right now, I know it adds to your TBR, but I have to keep feeding the Allie addiction. Esty got me problematic summer romance! Stop it! And then, Meg, whilst this adds to your TBR, at least it probably won't be a journey 3.5. Great big beautiful life for Emily Henry. Yes, my team. The dream team! Esty, stop it! Oh my god, Esty's the best, and Esty, listen, love's a bit valley. Oh my god, I am so excited. I am reading Not In Love, the first in this series, um, probably in my next video. Again, that's the kind of thing that I'm, I'm wanting right now, so maybe I'll read them back to back. Who knows, that would be great! And then, um, great movie, Awful Life. I'm very excited to see what I think of this. This one, I know, has been a little bit contra- not controversial, uh, polarizing, you know? Like, some people have been loving it, some people have not been loving it, but it's kind of Emily Henry's Ted Jenkins read, uh, Evan Hugo book, and I'm like, okay, I'm intrigued. This could be for me, or it could not be for me, but Esty, thank you so much. This is, like, I've been gifted books that is just what I want to be reading right now. Again, this is objectively, quality-wise, a wonderful book, and I'm gonna finish it tonight, but it's just not, I'm not loving it. I'm not loving the experience of reading it, whereas these, ooh, they're reminding me what it's to be alive again. You know when Yoga with Adrian says, feel what it feels like to be alive today, that's how I feel with these. So, thank you, friends, everyone who sent me something. I am gonna go, I got reading sprints tonight with my patrons, so you may see me again tonight, if in that case, I'll be very tired, or you'll see me first thing tomorrow, but my thoughts on Motherless Night, um, it's just a slog, and I just am not, I just want Lady Hardcastle, you know what I mean, or a romance, but I will be doing that after this vlog, don't you worry. We just gotta get through these clever books first. Hello, friends. I have finished Brotherless Night, finally. This one's a tricky one, okay? I am questioning, like, is it me? Is it that the, you know, times are tough, and I want to read Lady Hardcastle, or is that an excuse that I'm telling myself to feel better about not loving books I feel like I'm supposed to love, societally? It's like society is telling me I should love this, you know? Um, here's the thing. I'm ending on a 3.5 for this. In terms of quality of a book, I think it's 4, 4.5. In terms of my enjoyment, like, 2.5. So, we're ending on a 3.5, I think, from this result. I think the ending was very strong. I love how this book ends. I think it ends on, like, a, the last 50 pages are very, very strong, but for the most part, I had to force myself to read this. I started this two weeks ago. How long?! I have actively been reading it. I think I read, like, the first 40 pages two weeks ago, and then I've been actively reading it for maybe, like, a week, and I've had to force myself through it. However, I think it's an incredibly well-written book. I think it's saying important things. I think it's bringing important events from history to light that, like, I don't know much about, and I assume many people don't know much about, and so I think there's a lot of pros to it, but, like, I barely... I don't want to say I didn't engage with it, because it did make me interested in history, but I was more wanting to go and, like, read stuff. I was looking up articles, I was watching YouTube videos about this time in history, rather than wanting to read this book. So, I engaged with the content of it, the historical content, but I didn't want to engage with it through this book, which I think says something, you know? I don't know. I don't want to stand on this too long, because I'm kind of sad about it, as you guys can probably imagine. Yeah, I don't know. I think it's a good quality book, but there's something about it, I can still see how the writing would work for someone else, how the storytelling would work for someone else, and it feels like a very big book to me, because I have spent so long with it, like, I've read this so slowly that it does feel kind of momentous, but I was bored. I had to force myself through it, and that's not a good sign, is it? But by the end of it, I was kind of more attached to the characters than I thought I was, you know? I don't have much to say. The ending was very, very strong. The ending made me think, should I give it a higher rating? But then I thought, Megan, now you've taken a week to read this, and, like, most of it you were complaining to everyone around you about how you didn't want So that's where we are. I'm now, tonight, going to start Some Desperate Glory by Emily Tesh. This is quite long, so I'm going to try and make just, like, a little start in it tonight. We're switching gears here with, like, a sci-fi cult story. Again, I have read from this author, but it's very different. This is her debut novel. I've read Novelas from her. So we'll see how this goes, but I'm going to make a start on this tonight, and hopefully I'll be reading the last two books for this vlog quicker than a week each, because we've already been working on this vlog. Insert Charity Shop Sue Clare. I've been working this for five weeks, because it's not far off. I think about three. I've been working on this for five weeks. At least three to four by the time this video comes out, which is just ridiculous, but life has been life, as you guys know. So, yes, I'm going to start tonight, and hopefully I'll check on you tomorrow with my first thoughts. Oh, interesting. There's, like, little glossary or information sections. Interesting. Okay, I will see what I think of this one. Hello, hello. I am just under halfway through Some Desperate Glory. Well, I'm a little bit under halfway. I'm, like, 170 pages in. Okay, I'm not in love with it, but I'm not... I'm not hating it. Basically, we should know. The main character, Kya, who has trained all of her life to become, like, a warrior for the kind of ship that she lives on, the last scraps of humanity, or so they are told. And she's trained all her life, and she finds out at 18 that she is instead getting assigned to nursery to just bear and bear, bear children for the society. And she says, uh-uh, no. And so she leaves. That's all you need to know. I hated the start of this. This I hate. I found it cringe. I found it difficult to read. I found it... I almost DNF'd this book. I'd say the first 70 pages of this are difficult. And here's the thing with this book. This book is making the active decision to have an unlikable main character. And there are reasons as to why she's unlikable, but she is unlikable. She is homophobic. She is transphobic. She is incredibly cold towards people, quite mean towards people often. But, like, we'll get into it as I'm sure the book goes on, but she is a product of the society and the indoctrination that she has lived under her entire life. It's really committing to that bit of having a very unlikable main character, and you're spending so much time with her that I am finding that it's a little bit difficult. It's a little bit difficult. There's also something about... I promise I'm not one of those Gen Zers who, like, suddenly can't read anything that's not in the first person, but there's something about the third-person narration of this that I'm finding a bit sticky, a little bit, like, you know, not easy to read. There's friction to me reading it and understanding it, and I would say. But yeah, the start I just found really cringe. It was just, like, very info-dumpy at the start. This book is simultaneously so info-dumpy, but there's also so much we don't know and don't understand, and stuff is just said and we're kind of expected to just go along for the ride. But there's a lot of, like, places or people mentioned out of the blue that we don't understand. But then there's just... I was saying on my Patreon live stream last night, at one point at the start it, like, lists all the different army wings, and it's Ferox, Synthica, Augusta, Victrix. Like, I just... it's a bit cringe to do Victrix. Oh, I love it. I was born to serve Victrix, you know? It's just... all I can do is speak my truth. I find it cringe. But from about that 70-100 page mark, it's getting better. It's getting more readable. I don't want to spoil anything, but if something happens early... I mean, I think you kind of know. She leaves the ship, the station that she's on, and once we're outside of that and, like, on a planet, I found it easier to read. I found it more interesting to read. I found what we were talking about a bit more varied, a bit more interesting. It has some interesting developments. But yeah, I don't know about this one. I don't know about this one. I don't know about this one. There's also... I don't know if it was this year that the controversy... I mentioned at the start of this video, I don't know if we're going to get super into it. But there was, you know, the Hugos. Like I was saying, they always have books that I enjoy in them, the Hugo Awards. Like, I think they do a very good job of mixing what's popular with quality and awarding based on that. But I do always since have a bit of a side out the Hugos because of what happened when it was held in China and certain authors were mysteriously not qualified for the awards anymore, like RF Kuang, because their work could be seen as being critical of the Chinese regime. And just any awards that allow themselves to, you know, bow down to that kind of pressure, I have a little bit of a side eye too. I think there was, you know, an apology, I believe, because of that. I could... there could not have been, but I don't know. But that was what I was mentioning at the start of this video, like, oh, we'll talk about the issues of the Hugos. But yeah, I don't know. I'm not loving it and it's so different than what I have read from Emily Teich. The novellas I've read from Emily Teich, it is polar opposite. I was saying on the live stream last night to my patrons, this is hard, that is soft. You know, that is soft, fairy, woodland fantasy. This is hard, hard, hard, cold sci-fi. You know, and that's not always my favourite thing. So we're gonna go on a journey. I do keep going back and forth on kind of DNFing it or not. But we'll see. I don't think I'm going to. I think I'm just gonna finish it. But I'm not in love with it, needless to say. So I DNFed it. Hello, friends. Hello. We are in Tom's room, which I very rarely film in when I'm around here. Usually I film in, like, the lounge or his mum's room, but I just thought, why not? Here's Naruto, there's Pokemon, there's Eevees. So, yeah, I DNFed some Desperate Glory. And if I'm gonna be completely honest with you, it was like, you know when you're on a run and you want to stop the whole time? Maybe this is just me, but you don't. You don't stop, you don't stop. But then you stop, like, near the end and you just can't get yourself to start again because you stopped. I then read the first short story of Heartlamp and I was like, you know what? I can't. I don't want to do this. I want to be done. I can't do it. You can. You can do it. You can. You can. I don't love short stories, collections, really. And I just didn't love the first story in that. And I was just like, you know what? Life is too short. I need to be reading my Lady Hardcastle and I need to do what's best for me. So, I'm ending the vlog. The vlog is long enough. It's a pretty long vlog, but I have DNFed two of them, I guess. I did try Heartlamp. I read, like, what? Like, 20 pages of it. I apologise, guys, but this vlog has been going on for a long time. And like I say, I feel like it's got the negative energy of life that it's been for the past couple weeks. And I'm just ready to move on. I'm ready to be done. I'm ready to move on. Needless to say, I am not an award fiction girlie. I am not that. Apart from Mystery Thriller. I mean, I'm so glad I did this video because I read Tell Me What I Am and I loved it so much. So, I'm so glad I did this video. But like, I don't think it's a coincidence that the only award that I loved the book from was the Mystery Thriller award. Wow. Like, fork found in kitchen. So, yeah, I mean, like I said in the past, there's a lot of Hugo nominees and previous award winners I really enjoyed. And that's, you know, my other main genre, which is fantasy. This one just sadly did not work for me, Some Desperate Glory. I didn't get it. I didn't get what we're going for. I didn't enjoy it. But yeah, I'm not, like, sometimes I may read a book a winner or a women's fiction winner and enjoy it. But I just don't think it's, it's not what excites me. I think that's been a part of the problem this vlog, as well as life being difficult. Like, these books haven't excited me and I'm ready to just do a vlog where I kind of mood read now and just read what excites me. It's time for me to get some Lady Hardcastle in here. It's time for me to read some more Ali Hazelwood. Like, that's what I'm going to be doing the next couple of weeks. So, yeah, we're going to end the vlog here. A DNF to the last two books very quickly. I just made a decision last night. I was like, life's too short. I don't need to do this. I don't need to enjoy this. I'm going to move on. So there we have it. But I hope the video was still interesting. Life is a lot better than it was when I filmed the clip about the middle. You know, my family member is, thank God, a lot healthier, a lot better health. And like I said, I'll talk more in the next vlog about the flat we've had an offer accepted on because that's moved on a little bit now. But I'll talk about that in the next vlog. So things are picking up, but I just need to get this juju that this video has gone. So thank you so much for watching. The experiment is real. I'm not an award fiction reader galley. I don't know if I ever will be. I love my mysteries. I love my Campbell silly books. So there we have it. Anyways, I love you so much and I'll see you very soon. Another video. Bye.