Proposing To Amber Heard | I Do... Until I Don't (2017)

Ladies and gentlemen, kindly welcome Miss Vivian Pruitt. Welcome to the Emancipation. Thank you all so much. As I think most of you know, my documentary project, I Do Until I Don't, examines the idea that marriage should be a seven-year contract with an option to renew. Today's presentation is not so much a performance as it is a declaration. In the words of Dr. Kunst, we should ban all performance weddings to begin with. I'm not insinuating that the idea of having a relationship is wrong. Yes, that lady. Marital reform. Reform is an evolutionary privilege. Hey, what's so bad about marriage anyway? Well, I think the convention has merited a slightly more complex analysis than just saying it's bad. I have a question. Yes? Um, life is hard enough. Why not have a human constant to go through it with? What kind of constant are you referring to, sir? Because the only constant that humans are capable of is that of the philandering nature, Mr. Constant. Care to comment? I don't know what you're talking about. Oh, you don't know what you're talking about? Wow. Guess what? Noah, I have something I really want to talk to you about right now. Okay. After all of these years, and after everything that we have been through, how dare you? I mean, what part of you could so flagrantly continue to love me wholly despite my flaws? Because of your flaws, Alice. I'm your constant. I am your constant. No, no, no. Wait. Yes? Shh. Alice, you promised. You said that... Oh, come off it, Vivian. Look, no one's cheating on anyone, and no one's getting a divorce. Vivian, if I may, and I think I speak on behalf of everybody here, you don't have to get married. Let others work it out. Don't make it worse. We've got enough fun. Come on, people. You don't all believe this, do you? People only partake in open relationships for the bragging rights. But you're in a bloody open relationship. Yeah, but we've been monogamous for like six years now. You're a liar and a conformist. Hey, what about penguins? They're monogamous. What about penguins? You have all been brainwashed. It's a ruse. Eww, scary. No, it's not scary. Polyamory is our birthright. Hey, Fanny. Yes, Sander? Will you marry me? What? Yes. No! No! You can't just... No, you can't. You can't just ask her to marry you.