Hillary Clinton Addresses Her Losing Streak Cold Open - SNL

And now a message from Hillary Clinton following her recent string of losses. It's true, I have not been winning as of late. In fact, I have not won a state in almost three weeks, because that was the plan. I didn't want to win those, and so I didn't. It doesn't bother me one bit. I'm not rattled. Like the old adage says, you win some, you lose... Excuse me. You lose... Sorry. You win some, you lose... Some. Close enough. Besides, who can remember how many states I've lost in a row? Is it two? Or is it three? Hey, Ms. Clinton, I'm here to fix seven holes in your wall. Come to think of it, it might have been seven. And that's fantastic. It humanizes me. I'm the underdog now. I'm this election's Rudy. And I like that. After all, I don't want to be a big old bee and win every single state. That's no fun. But enough about the past. It's time to look forward to the future. And right now, my focus is here in New York! Being back in the Fat Apple, my home state. Except for Illinois and Arkansas, but they already voted for me, so we could. And gosh, New York has been cold this week, hasn't it? In fact, my head is getting a little chilly. I better put on my favorite hat that I've worn so many times over the years. Here we go. That'll keep me warm while I eat my favorite dinner, a classic New York City street hot dog. What a delicious real bite that was. And for dessert, all you New Yorkers know that I am just nuts for nuts. And later tonight, I'm going to take in that hot new Broadway show that's got all of NYC abuzz, Chicago! But you know what my favorite part about New York is? The subway. I love to ride it, and I am comfortable riding it. In fact, here's me using it earlier today. The New York City subway is the best way to get around. Ow. It's been a while. Is this a working MetroCard? Is it? I'll just go in the old-fashioned way. Oh, take a cab. A cab is the best way to get around. I'm just like all of you. I never sleep. I'm in a hurry to get to work, and when I'm running, I really hate it when a slow old Jew gets in my way. There's my alarm. Time to turn my hat around. There we go. Oh, God, I love those New York meats! So to all of my supporters here in New York, please remember to get out there next Tuesday and cast your vote for me. And to all of you young people in New York, let me say this. Voting's for nerds. I mean, who cares? Just sleep in. I'm sure you're all hungover from your Tumblr parties anyway. And to Susan Sarandon, who said Trump might be better for America than me, why don't you take Tuesday to go drive off another clip? Now, listen. I know Bernie may be tempting some of you. He's honest. He shouts it like it is. And he even had a cute little bird land on his podium that one time. That was politics for a whole day. But guess what? I've got a winged friend of my own. She's the three-eyed raven from the Game of Thrones. And her message is clear. If you don't vote for me on April 19th, winter is coming. And finally, everyone, I know this week a pesky little you-know-what said I wasn't qualified to be president, but here's the truth. I would be the strongest candidate to go up against Donald Trump face-to-face or go up against Ted Cruz face-to-whatever-it-is-you-call-that-up-there and lie from New York on Saturday night!