Clingy Babies - What Every Parent Needs to Know (Including How to Stop The Tears)

If your baby was previously really happy but is now starting to scream as soon as you leave the room and won't calm down until you come back, then this is definitely a video that you need to watch. In this video I'm going to cover why your baby has started screaming and what you can do to get through this challenging time. But before we discover why your little one's screaming, make sure you check out that free PDF document in the description box below which covers the developmental milestones you can be expecting for your little one in their first year of life just to give you an invaluable piece of mind as you'll know when to be expecting skills and when to be concerned. Believe it or not, your baby screaming when you leave the room is actually a good sign. So it tells us that your baby has now developed an understanding of object permanency. So they know that items continue to exist even though you can't see them. So now when you leave the room your baby knows that you are no longer around but you still exist. So they're wondering where are you and when are you going to come back. And secondly it lets us know that your baby has a strong attachment for you and as a result wants to be near you and others that they have a strong connection with and feel safe around. The phase that your baby is going through is called separation anxiety and it is completely normal. All babies go through it and what it is is the baby starts to cry when their caregiver is out of their line of sight. So this might be when the caregiver actually leaves the home or just goes simply into another room. Separation anxiety is most common in infants from 8 to 12 months of age and it tends to have an intense peak at around 9 months of age. What's important to know is that separation anxiety is generally a phase that your baby will go through and it only lasts for a few weeks but it does reappear through multiple stages throughout your baby's early childhood. So now that we know that separation anxiety is completely normal and it's just a phase let's talk about some things that you can do to try and make this trying and often traumatic period a little bit easier for you and your little one. The first thing you can do is try and expose your baby to short periods where you're apart. So if you've got another adult at home give the baby to the adult so you can go have a shower or go outside for a little while just so your baby gets used to you being apart for a short period of time and then coming back. Now when you're leaving your little one you want to make sure that you say you're just going to go have a shower and then you'll be back and you want to follow through on that. So you want to go and have that shower and then come back to your baby and then when you're back say I'm back. So your baby knows that you can leave but you're going to come back and they're only for short periods of initially. The other thing that you can do is if your baby is crawling around the house then you can let them crawl into another safe room so where they're not going to hurt themselves but they're out of your line of sight for a short period of time because that lets them know that although they can't see you they can come back to you and they know that you're going to be there. Now before you leave your baby in a new place like a friend's house or the daycare center you want to make sure that you take your baby there without you leaving so that your baby starts to become familiar with the place and feel safe before you actually leave them there by themselves. If you can't do that you want to make sure that you are giving your baby some comfort items so if they have a comfort toy such as a Snuggie you want to make sure that they can take that item to the place so that they can cuddle it and get some comfort and reassurance when you're not present. The other thing is you want to try and time these excursions to new places when your baby isn't tired and isn't hungry because if they're feeling any of those things they're going to be less likely to be able to tolerate any changes or potential stresses. Now when you are going to leave your baby you want to make sure that you do a few things so firstly you want to make sure that you settle your baby into an activity or with another carer before you leave so they're feeling comfortable and safe. Also when you are leaving you want to make sure that you actually tell your little one that you're leaving if you sneak out of the room it is going to result in your baby becoming more anxious and trying to keep an eye on you at all the times to make sure that you don't just disappear on them so you actually need to make sure that you say goodbye to your little one and when you're saying goodbye you want to make those goodbyes really short and brief but firm so instead of hanging around and giving them multiple kisses and then coming back and giving them multiple cuddles because they're getting upset you want to just say goodbye give them a kiss and then keep a really happy face so that your baby doesn't think that you're scared or worried about leaving them because then that will also make them scared and worried but you want to make sure that you're very happy and bubbly and you give them that kiss that cuddle and then you say bye bye mommy will see you after lunch and then you walk out of the room you don't come back in because coming back in is just going to confuse your little one and the final tip is to make sure you follow through on your promises so if you said that you were the one that was going to come pick up your baby you need to be the one that goes and collects your baby now things will happen and that's totally fine but you need to follow through because that will ensure that your baby knows that mommy's going to leave me or daddy's going to leave me but it's okay because they're going to come back and if they're at the age where you can tell them that i'll come back after your nap or i'll come back after lunch then you use those terms because babies don't understand a concept of time so more toddler end but they don't understand a concept of time so if you say i'm going to come back this evening they have no idea what that means but they will understand i'm going to come back after afternoon tea time and then you come back at that time now your baby is going to cry when you leave them with a sitter a daycare worker and other family members and sometimes even the other parent but after a few minutes your baby will generally stop crying particularly if they're given a distraction what you will see though is that as soon as you come back through that door or come back into the room your baby is going to start crying again for you but it doesn't mean they're crying for that whole time so those are the tips to help you get through this tricky period of separation anxiety now if you don't think it's just separation anxiety for your little one then make sure you take them to their doctor who can give you an assessment and more specific advice make sure you click on that free pdf document in the description box below and i'll see you next week where i'll share more parenting tips and tricks