"I Predict In 6 Months Your Marriage Will Be Over"

Brought to you by the EveryDollar app. Start budgeting for free today. Okay, so I have a question. I just recently found out that my husband, the total of the credit card debt that he's got is, I'm guessing and assuming, or not guessing and assuming, but I'm guessing $60,000 to $80,000. And I just keep finding out little things here and there of more. And my goal, our goal was supposed to be to get a house and move out of, you know, where we're at. And the choices that he continues to make, for example, on wanting a couch that, I mean, going from like a $100 couch, he wants like two to $4,000 couch and get into that debt. And now he brought up this morning that the easiest way we can get out of debt is to do a consolidation loan where all the debt is put into one payment. And I feel it's like getting into more debt. It's not biblical. I'm at my wit's end. I don't know how else I could guide him besides saying it's a bad idea. And I don't know what to do y'all. Okay. Um, yeah, that little part of the whole conversation is a bad idea for sure. The worst idea is the way you guys are operating. You're operating like roommates and your roommate has a budget. Your roommate has a problem over here. Instead of like the two of us together, make our decisions together and we manage our money together to go to the dreams that we want to live together. And he's acting like a free agent just running around over here. And you can't tell me if I buy a couch and I'll do whatever I want to do. And I may or may not tell you. And that's really destructive, isn't it? Yes, sir. And I don't know what else to do. That's not where the problem lies. Here's the problem. Number one, you don't even know how bad this is. And until you both sit down and pull credit reports and you actually have real data in front of you, pull all three of them and you look and see who do you owe money to? And here's why you have to do it that way. Cause you don't trust him. Cause he keeps lying to you. He keeps telling you, no, this is it. And you find out there's a couch note and then you find out there's another note. And here's the second problem. You tell him, Hey, I'm so scared about our financial future. You know how you say those words to him? You're stupid. This plan doesn't work. Why don't you budget? You don't say those. Instead you say, I'm scared. That's the way you talk to him. Hey, this is a dumb idea. And he doesn't hear that. He thinks, nope, you're dumb. And then here's where, and then he's hiding couch receipts somewhere. Instead of you saying, do you love me? Cause if you do, I'm so, so scared about what happens next for us. I just brought this up today. And I think this is what led me to the conversation. The call is Hey, George here with a quick interruption. If something were to happen to you tomorrow, would your family know where to find your life insurance policy, your will, even your Netflix password? Well, Knockbox solves that. It's a kit that organizes your financial accounts, estate plans, and everything your family would need all in one place. That way they don't have to hack into your laptop or locate some long lost thumb drive. So leave them a legacy, not a scavenger hunt with Knockbox. Ramsey fans get the best discount available at knockbox.com slash Ramsey. That's knockbox.com slash Ramsey. I think this is what led me to the conversation or the call is I heard, I just want to give you everything you want. That's not true. That is not true. That's a lie. I can literally live with an RV, get rid of everything. Let's get rid of the debt, sell everything. These are the examples I've given him. Just let's get rid of everything. We don't need to pay off those cards, get back up, float and breathe. And none of that is being heard. And I don't know what to do. Let him see this right here. It's not working. I feel the devil is attacking. I don't know what to do. No, it's not a devil. It's your husband being a twerp. It's not the devil. Don't blame the devil. He's not that good at it. Um, no, I, you know, I think the two of you desperately need to sit down with a marriage counselor because I predict that in six months, your marriage is going to be over. If you don't deal with this issue, cause you're reaching, you're, you're getting close to that point where the switch is going to flip and you're going to look at him and go, I'm done. You're dangerously close to that. Are some of your tears coming because you know that there's much more to come here? Cause I'm scared. You're not listening. And I just, I try to help him lead and finding God. And it just is too much. How long y'all been married? We've been together about seven, eight years and married a little over a year. What's he spending $60,000 on? I don't know. He, for the last guy, I mean, however many years he's, he's had a work injury. So he's put it on that. He said when he wasn't working, he put that on the credit cards and it just, I don't know. I don't, I just, what I don't see is why is it so difficult to get rid of material stuff so we can pay this debt off? I don't, to me, it's a no brainer. If that makes sense. You know, I can go with living in a little square with minimal stuff and let's just get rid and work really hard. I can't even go out and work because the excuses is a medical condition. Well, I'm willing to go through that medical condition and work just so we can pay this off. So how come he's not willing to do that? That's also. It could be any number of reasons, but I'm telling you right now, there's a, listening to how you're mapping this thing out. I think there's other things going on, whether he's got somebody else on the side, whether he's struggling with some sort of addiction. Whether he's wrestling with some bigger demons. I think there's something else at play. And my gut tells me that, you know, that to be true also. I'm happy to be way wrong, but I think I'm right. Yeah. Am I right? Possibly. Yeah. Okay. Okay. So money here is, it's the lights flashing on the dashboard. Your marriage has way bigger issues. How do you ask somebody to, you can't, we can lead a horse to water. You can't force them to drink. It's not about the money. You guys need to go to marriage counseling this week or your marriage is going to end. Yeah. Yeah. If he hasn't left you already, he just hasn't bothered to move out yet. Yeah. You guys. And if he, if listen, you say I'm scared and I can't get through to you and we can't get on the same page, we're going to have to have some outside help. I'm going to a marriage counselor. If you want to save our marriage, you should go with me. Yeah. And if he won't go with you, go anyway by yourself. And it's clear you've left me. If you want to save this marriage, you're going to come with me to this one. Yeah. You you've got to, you've got to rejoin me again. And we've got to build something for the future because the thing that, the thing we were trying to do didn't work. It's a mess. And, you know, cause I, Andy, I've worked in this stuff for 30 years and I'm not a marriage counselor. But I do know that when people reach a certain point, the switch flips and you can't get them back. And I don't want that to happen to you. I want to catch you before it switches. And you're just done. Y'all go work on this before you're done. Create your free every dollar budget today. The simplest way to budget for your life.