Anyone But You | "Titanic Me"

Titanic me. What? Oh, help yourself to some champagne. Oh, thank you. Grab some drinks. Titanic me. No, that is so lame. Exactly. The only people who do something this lame are the ones who know how lame it is, but are in the first stages of liking each other, so they're totally comfortable in their mutual lameness. Trust me. Oh my god. Come on. This is so cringe. So is saying cringe, old man. Lift my arms. I've seen the movie. Have you? Okay. This is never gonna work. Aww! That is the cutest thing I've ever seen. Are they doing Titanic? Aww. Are they watching? Yep. Are they buying it? Can't imagine they would. It's real. We did it. We're good. We're really bloody good. Jonathan, have you seen Tasmania? Indy, I'm fine. It's fine. Can I do the line? It's king of the world. You're king of the world. Jack, I'm flying. Okay, we can stop there. They're gone. Show's over. Oh my god. Why'd you jump in? To save you. But you're a terrible swimmer. I'm a great swimmer. Just short distances. We're gonna die. We're not gonna die. We're gonna get hypothermia. The water's 90 degrees. We're gonna get eaten by sharks. We're gonna be fine. And we spent 10 hours treading water off the coast of the Cayman Islands. Goldman? Yeah, it was a partner's kid's bar mitzvah. A little bit of crack. Oh my god! Roger! Oh my god. It looks like they're going full Titanic. I love the commitment! Stop the boat! No, no, no. Stay calm. Are you sure? Yeah. Come on. Why aren't we turning the boat around? We are in too shallow of water. We'll run aground. But Harbor Rescue has been notified. You good? Mm-hmm. Okay. All right, come on. Okay. Let's go. Okay. All right, get in the row. Okay. That was, um, probably the most— I mean, if you didn't close it with Margaret, I don't— There's nothing more romantic than jumping in to save me. Yeah, well, Jonathan didn't do it, that's for sure. And your parents, half the clock. That's ----. And you didn't even give him a chance. Why do you keep defending this guy? Why do you break up with him in the first place? It's complicated. It's never complicated. What, he cheated on you? Drug problem? Did you catch him measuring his dick with a ruler app? We never fought. Isn't that a good thing? It was just comfortable. And he's a great guy, which means there's no one out there for me because I had the best one. I couldn't even tell him I quit law school. And I have no idea what I'm going to do with my life. We're going to get eaten by sharks. I had to tell somebody. No one else knows? I don't think this is the weekend to drop that bomb. You finally did it. What? You know, one night you said you didn't want to be a lawyer anyways. You remember that? It was a memorable night. Until you snuck out, of course. Why did you? Because you scared the ---- out of me. It was the first time in my life that I felt fire and I had to blow it out. I know a little bit about that. I was really hurt when you left. So I said all that terrible stuff about you to Pete. That's not how I felt. Look at us. Just a couple of fucked up people floating in the middle of the harbor. Promise me if we make it out alive we'll go see that from dry land. It's a pretty killer view from here. It's dumb, but I want to see the people. Landmarks like those are full of people in love. Marriage proposals, honeymooners, romantics jumping off of moving trains just to see the building with the person they love. Like your dad in the Eiffel Tower? He told you that? Nothing else matters when it comes to love. You could use a bit of that right now.