Taylor Swift being herself for 16 minutes straight | Best Of

I and I don't know what else probably just try just I'll probably do you know just like blackout In the 30-minute drive over I've been um Making up songs about how much I love Portland, Maine And they're called Portland, Maine all of them I think I started with like the verse first where I was like, I was like, oh that's pic still in there, isn't it? Okay, so first of all first of all, um I don't know I don't know what's going on What's the craziest question you've been asked then oh, um People ask really weird questions about my cats like they're like do does your do your cats like your new album? Have no opinion I like writing songs about douchebags who cheat on me, but i'm not gonna say that In my monologue, I like writing their names into songs, so they're ashamed to go in public but i'm not gonna say that in my monologue Was the yahoo live stream, what does that? What does that mean? Are you gonna be on the stream? It's where you go. It's where you would Theoretically you would go on yahoo. Mm-hmm Um live stream you would go and you would push play on the live stream. It would be streaming live Oh, look, there's too many the words are all the same over and over again, and I know that's my fault Is that what it is it's like fighting the knee on top that's not a hill I want to die on You maybe include him in your acceptance speech, I don't think i'm gonna win but but if you do you will talk about I mean You know it If you don't win, I think you are gonna win personally I just want you to stand up and go Just to get my name mentioned in there somewhere That was so funny Um now listen, I wish people could see that that just would be so funny at the actual grammys Please just do it but no preface not I want to thank just scream it just I know you have laryngitis, but just honestly just stand up and just kick your chair back and just go That's just all we want It's a nutter. It's just not too much It's just in the background but like to me there's this like sort of like surprising piano which I think is the shit Keep pressing no I'm sorry. I just I couldn't hear you. You were being really quiet So the thing is it's like we were done and then like a week later They got together and that's like a few weeks ago. Now. They're in italy. I don't understand It's a that's a big jump, right? Like are they getting married? I mean like and then that's a little fast and i'm saying that Freeze on the split All right, can you do that I can do that I can do that I might need a drink first but Are you a warrior? Yes I worry about like everything like like everything future past Present. Where's this all going? What am I going to feel like in 20 years? What about in 28 years? What what's my life going to be like? Where am I going to live? No, you are live on bbc1 on a sunday night This is a huge moment because they've had to take the antiques roadshow off the schedule for you tonight I'm not worth it. I'm, so sorry. You should have brought an old clock or a vase They could have valued us so many old clocks. I could have brought You can't just put it in front of me and not have me drink that general fashion I have to test it. It's my responsibility. You think I can put on a stage where it serves these people? That's something I haven't That was my snl mutt log, we have a great show. Kanye west is not here No, I feel like this guy is like the reason why they made that block feature on the iphone You need to put his name in your phone as a weird word that is unattractive like grundle It's been absolutely amazing having you in swansea, we will see you very soon It's nice to see you. I think you need to have a shower now I I agree and i'm not offended that you said that there's a lot going on and none of it's good here Okay, i'm alone out here. So I feel like i'm in the wrong place If I didn't know better I swear she's playing with that cat Where's the princess of kitty town? Who's a pretty kitty? You are You are you're so pretty you're the prettiest kitty in the world The amount of decking that we have is equivalent to 10 arena tours. That's just decking It's bigger than a 767 wingspan What's a 767 it's an airplane Like i'm in i'm in the getaway car left you in the motel bar took the money Took the money in the bag and I stole the money took the money in the bag and I sold the keys That was the last time you ever saw me Not really I was exaggerating but Rolling stone says this is still an artist who likes to let it rip deeply weird feverishly emotional wildly enthusiastic 1989 sounds exactly like taylor swift even when it sounds like nothing She's ever tried before the new york times said by making pop with almost no contemporary references Miss swift is aiming somewhere even higher a mode of timelessness few pop stars even bother aspiring to Do you get excited or do you not care? Oh, oh I care you do care. Okay, good people say they don't care a lion So if you're on the last row And you think I can't see you that would be incorrect That is not correct Back over 2014 What is that even is it a spaceship nobody cares that I want to get home to see my cats and watch friends I meant to kiss you on the cheek, but I think I kissed you on the hair. So it Everyone's really well behaved the first like six months to a year. Yeah, everyone's on good behavior And then it's the level of monster that you that's revealed to you is what do you decide if you can deal with that monster With this much monster, right? And if the answer is yes, then marry them, right? But if it's like this is going to absolutely ruin my life, right the lives of everyone around me Yeah, and he's all How are you hanging in there? I'm good. Literally. Oh, um, i'm great. I'm good. I love it It's like when I find that person that That is is right for me and he'll be wonderful and when I look at that person I'm, not even going to be able to remember the boy who broke up with me over the phone in 25 seconds when I was 18 Oh my god On the other side of the spectrum Jealousy and anger and frustration and you didn't call me back and I need space I'm fine Her very specific color fur is exactly correct. This is exactly what it's like like snow slush on the street Yeah, like all the personality and character I don't have either of those things You know that It's a real sore spot. So yeah, that's what everyone says Taylor's great. She just has no personality or character. That's that's the number one comment that I get on, uh, my youtube comments Yeah, that's what I you know, if I anything on line people just be like Taylor seems righteous there's no personality vanilla. Yeah Just like a wallpaper they call you wallpaper. Yeah. Yeah Thank you so much for stopping by I know you have a lot to do but um You know, what's weird is when you when you look, uh this gross, um, you just have no Physical insecurities at all like none It's it's just they're gone because you know, it's just really it's it's it's freeing I encourage everyone to Look like a corpse at least once we need to have like a um, like a Pad of like a boy's choir being like Oh walk over there near those flowers because you know those flowers don't exist yet Uh, they're gonna make the flowers wherever you end up walking it's like oh Look a frog And it is because they can make it into that if they want to um Or it could be a sandwich You can pre-order my album at taylorswift.com because you know what they say. There's no album like a pre-sale album No one says that No one ever says that Should we redo this? I I recently wrote an album called red And I am holding a guitar that is also red They came off kind of like someone who doesn't know how to jump on a trampoline Trying to learn tricks for the first time and we're all out of shape. Yeah, we're all like After five seconds it was shame That I get to be a part of a lot of balls in the air and coming up next taylor gives back to her fans That's coming up I'm going to take you with me Your eyes are closing like my cats do. Oh god. We have to talk about that What are we gonna do about that? They will hate you They will they'll try to they'll try to really really murder you hard You're gonna have to learn to fight we're gonna send you to a training facility I'm glad we have a plan There's got to be some show on tlc that interrupts weddings where the hair looks like that There's gotta be So I felt really helpless and I felt like there's nothing I can do about this And so I do what I always do I go into my lonely little corner and I write a song about it They're mingling excitedly mingling I'm not sure where that came from My friends are like look and i'm like, oh, hey, how's it going? He's like great and i'm like hi You're 12. And so you ask your mom things like this like she knows mom Do you think i'm ever gonna get a record deal? and She'd go I Don't know Ghosts I know that even though This is the goofy outfit. I want you to still be graceful in it. I will I mean I have to actively try not to be graceful. I don't know if you've ever met me before a few moments later cnn That's the most popular one. That's the one the kids like the most cnn tentacles I was just checking Um the fact that it is currently taylor swift day in fresno, I will choose not to brag about Instead I will leave it a nice 10 second silence of smiling. I told her to make those sounds it helps you cry I Have no idea what you said. I'm, sorry. There's a lot of stuff happening back there Um, there's rumors that you think they might be in an actual brawl Are they okay I don't have someone that i'm texting. That's a guy that might someday be my boyfriend There's like nothing going on right now, that's pathetic. Yeah I have very realistic parents. I don't have like get up on that stage. You're gonna be a star, you know, like I just it's like It's just like it's not the only accent that I know how to do so I have no experience in home invasion. Meanwhile, i've just snuck around the back of my mom's house Every time you are in a beautiful moment with someone think about how much cooler it would be if the camera was panning around it I much prefer cats. They're unpredictable And cussed like women, you know Oh, oh, we don't want to do that Why you gotta be so mean? Why you gotta kill me? Using a train I'm flashing back to when I ran into him in the middle of the night Because we're not allowed to be together for some reason too many ruffles on his shirt or something