My Career Advice for Anyone Feeling Stuck Right Now | 5 Key Truths

If you're a high achiever like me, it is very common for us to become heavily identified with our careers and with our job titles and with the money that we make and the lifestyles that we build. That definitely is part of, I feel, the high achievers life theme. We become really accustomed to achieving, we become accustomed to accomplishing, we become accustomed to gaining things and we then build our identity around that. And because we build our identity around our career, our titles, the work, the money, we then lose and feel disconnected from who we are within ourselves. We don't end up finding out who we truly are for a while because we're so caught up in the doing and the achieving. Without doing this inner work, without exploring your inner world, you will not know what the right next step is for you and you're going to rely on your external environment, other people's opinions, other people's ideas to be the guiding light when it ultimately has to come from you. I'm Linda Rayner and I'm a career strategist and before you decide to quit your job and make a big leap, let's talk about why feeling stuck could actually be a sign of something deeper. If work has been feeling unmotivating and every day feels like a grind and you're dreading going into work each and every day, it's really important that you pinpoint and understand exactly what is causing that so that you can move forward and have more confidence and clarity in yourself and in your career. So what is feeling stuck? How do you know that you're feeling stuck? Ultimately, it comes down to what you're feeling in your body. So from the time that you wake up in the morning down to when you go to bed, there seems to be an underlying sense of frustration, discomfort, dissatisfaction, just a sense of unease within you as you move throughout each and every day. That's how you know you're feeling stuck and what happens is when you're feeling this way, it tends to build over time and the reason why I know this is because I have been where you are during many times in my life, especially for example when I was a CPA and I was working at an accounting firm and I thought that my life was set and I thought that I was going to be an accountant, an auditor for the rest of my life and it was when I realized that was not the work that I wanted to do that it pushed me to have to dig deeper within myself to ask myself, well what is it that I do want to do? And I didn't really have the answer but I knew that it meant that I had to look within. It meant that I had to ask myself harder questions about who I was and what my gifts and talents were and what was I here to do in the world. So that was the first time in my life and I've since then experienced other stuck points and the same process has had to happen where I've had to look deeper. So in this video I want to share with you certain perspectives about this and hopefully you'll be able to glean and gain insights in how you can apply it to your own life. So this leads me into truth number one. Feeling stuck means that you are ripe to level up. Anytime that I've felt stuck in my career it's meant that I've hit a career plateau. So for example for myself all my life I was a very high achiever. I wanted to always get the best grades. I wanted to get the best job title. I was always looking at that traditional idea of success. I was also very introverted as well so I kept to myself and that was what I did. I pursued my goals. I reached where I wanted to reach. I got the fancy job titles that I wanted but what happens with many of us who are like that we get to a point where we hit a certain level of success then we start to feel as though we're plateauing. We've done all the things. We've hit all of our goals in the job that we're in and now you might be feeling as though well there's not much more to achieve. There's not much more to look forward to and you start to feel as though you're coasting and so the question is now what? And that is a great place to be. Why? Because it means that it's time for you to go inwards and ask yourself what are you ready for now? Where are you heading into now? It's actually an exciting time. It's an exciting time to explore and seek the answers from within yourself. If you're someone who's naturally driven and motivated like I am probably already been asking yourself these questions and for me I went through this phase and period of looking inwards and asking myself these questions to the point where I realized what I ultimately wanted was to work for myself. I wanted to pursue work that felt fulfilling and meaningful for me which was to help others and I wanted to share a certain message. I wanted to express that and that is how I created the business and do the work that I do today but for you it could look completely different. Perhaps there is a talent or skill that you've been keeping under the rug you just haven't pulled out and made use of and that is why you're feeling disconnected. Perhaps the work that you're doing has been really great in that you have been able to express your talents and gifts however the the structure that you're in isn't as aligned or as free as you want it to be. Maybe you want to work for yourself. There's all different possibilities but this is the time now to reflect on that. It means that you're ripe and ready to level up and so looking inwards will give you the answer and for some of us we need to quit altogether to take that time for ourselves but if I were to give you my gentle guidance and advice I would say don't quit just yet and that is because of our human nature because the fear that might take over you if you aren't prepared for that the worry and anxiety that might overcome you if you quit flat out and know that you don't have a paycheck to lean on may actually hurt your ability to feel into what you want or if you're wired differently then it actually might fuel you to figure it out. Either way you have to decide what the right option is for you. Now this leads me into truth number two which is that your career is a portal to self-discovery. There is a phrase that I live by and that I share about when I speak in front of organizations and I deliver keynotes and the concept is called the world is your mirror. The world is your mirror essentially says that everything outside of us so the circumstances, the situations, the experiences that we go through are actually a reflection mirroring back to us what's going on within us internally. So for example if you're someone who notices that on the outside people aren't giving you the recognition or the respect that you feel that you deserve. You're feeling as though you're being overlooked in your office or at your workplace. You're feeling as though you're not being seen at the same level as others. That is actually a reflection according to the world is your mirror concept. It's actually a reflection back to you of how you might deep down be actually feeling about yourself. That is simply a reflection telling you that within you you're buying into this belief that you aren't equal to others. That you aren't as good as others and that's why there are circumstances and situations being brought forth that are highlighting this innate belief because ultimately if you truly genuinely had confidence or have confidence in yourself you have this innate sense of self-belief and self-assuredness. You would carry yourself differently and you would communicate differently. You would express yourself differently, interact with others differently and they will then reflect back to you how you ultimately feel about yourself. They'll give you the respect and recognition that you deserve because you're giving it to yourself because you know that you deserve it. That is the world is your mirror concept and for me this has played out in so many ways. For example, even earlier this year I was putting out videos that were very traditional how-to videos that I used to put out years ago that were very popular on my channel. How to answer certain interview questions, how to do this and that. When I put out the videos I noticed how I was feeling within my body and then I also noticed how I felt after I put out the videos. I just did not feel the same way that I used to feel. They didn't light me up and I think, well actually not just I think, I know that it had to do with seeing those videos. It was reflected back to me that I'm no longer aligned with that version of myself who is simply here to teach people how to get a job. I'm much more aligned now in this new place and being of someone who shares my personal lessons and life lessons that I feel are relevant that will help people move forward and navigate their own lives in their careers. Everything is a reflection. You have to look at that this way. You have to look at your career this way. Your career, whatever is happening in your career right now is actually reflecting back to you how you ultimately feel about yourself. I know that is a hard truth to hear but if there's a subconscious belief within you that is saying I'm not worthy that is playing out and that is why these situations are occurring. You want to start looking at your career from that perspective. What is it mirroring back to you in relation to the beliefs that you hold about yourself because your career is a portal to self-discovery. As you're on this process of self-discovery you might be thinking about certain aspects as to okay beyond this career what else could I be doing. Maybe I want to pursue a completely different career. Maybe I want to quit and start my own business or maybe I want to go back to school and if that is something that you're thinking about then today's video sponsor may be helpful to you. If you're looking to finish your degree or perhaps learn something new then the University of Phoenix makes that possible for you. While I'm not a student I do appreciate what they have to offer you in terms of flexibility for your education especially someone being a working mom. They allow you to balance it all whether you have a family, you have work commitments, and your school commitments with a university built for busy adults just like you. Focus on just one five to six week course at a time while still completing your degree on time. Plus University of Phoenix offers up to 17 opportunities a year to start your degree and the freedom to learn when you want to If you're interested in learning more get the details in the link in my description box down below. Now this leads me into my next truth and that is truth number three where your value is not determined by your job title or the money that you earn. If you're a high achiever like me it is very common for us to become heavily identified with our careers and with our job titles and with money that we make and the lifestyles that we build. That definitely is part of I feel the high achiever theme life theme. We become really accustomed to achieving. We become accustomed to accomplishing. We become accustomed to gaining things and we then build our identity around that and because we build our identity around our career, our titles, the work, the money, we then lose and feel disconnected from who we are within ourselves. We don't end up finding out who we truly are for a while because we're so caught up in the doing and the achieving. So when work is good and the money's good and the title's good and the achievements are happening then in general what we'll find as high achievers is that we'll we'll feel good. We feel good about ourselves but what I've learned and what I've realized is that that's a very temporary feeling. Eventually when work becomes a source of anxiety or stress or frustration and things don't work out the way that we intended them to, then all of a sudden everything falls apart. It comes down to then disidentifying and separating yourself from your career and your job title. When you don't have that separation, if things don't go well at work, all of a sudden things don't go well at home, things aren't going well in your family, things aren't going well with your friends. As much as you may think that you're able to keep them separate but ultimately you're feeling the feelings of not feeling fulfilled, not feeling satisfied, not feeling purposeful and that's carrying forward into the rest of your life. It bleeds and has an impact. As much as you don't think it does, it does. This actually happened to me when I was a recruiter where I was during those years because it was a sales environment, especially for those of you who are working in a sales type environment, you subconsciously become trained to feel that you're only as worthy as your last sale. You're only as worthy as the last sale that you made. In my situation, it was I'm only as worthy as my last placement. If I don't make placements this month, my value has plummeted down to zero. So I was trained to believe that this about myself. Subconsciously, nobody told me to believe this. I wanted to achieve and I wanted to be the best. Then I've noticed because it was unresolved, I ended up carrying it into my business where it ended up being that I need to hit a certain number of metrics. I need to have a number of clients. I need to be able to make a certain amount of money in order to feel valuable and worthy. And I've had to do a lot of work to truly let go of that as a belief. The work and the results are not tied to who you are. What this comes down to is identifying yourself as unique and sovereign from your job title. Truth number four is that your career fulfillment is not defined by your environment. It's defined by you. I know a lot of people are going to maybe disagree with this because ultimately you might think, well, if it was the perfect environment, then of course I would feel fulfilled. But I've learned this personally in my own way. So over the last six years, I've had a vacation home in Hawaii. When I first bought the home, I thought this was the answer to my lack of inner fulfillment. I thought that having the right environment, being in paradise would naturally fuel me with a sense of fulfillment, with a sense of purpose, with a sense of ease. And of course it is beautiful to be in paradise, beautiful to be in nice weather and all of that. However, what I learned over the years is that you carry yourself to whatever environment you go to. So you could go to an environment that has the perfect boss, the perfect coworkers, the job could be perfect and ideal. But if you're carrying yourself forward into that environment and there are still unresolved issues within you, that is what you're going to feel. You're going to feel unfulfilled no matter what environment you step into. If you haven't worked on why you feel unfulfilled, the external environment can help, but it is not going to be the thing that fulfills you. That is a hard lesson that I've had to learn. And so what I've learned for myself is fulfillment comes down to me being able to express myself authentically. Even if what I'm saying to you here doesn't make total sense to you, and you're not able to keep up because I'm just kind of spewing all this at you, ultimately I feel authentic in that. But that is where I feel I'm most fulfilled, is that I'm able to share my truth with you, exactly what I'm doing in this video. And I could be doing that anywhere. And as long as I get to do that, then I feel that sense of enthusiasm and excitement within myself. What I hope and pray for you is that you're able to dig deep enough to decipher for yourself what is the thing that ultimately fulfills you. And it has to come from within. It's not something that comes externally. It's something that you express. It's something that you're able to feel your way through. What is within you that you can bring forth? That is the thing that will help you to feel fulfilled. And finally, the last truth that I want to share is if you quit and change jobs without doing the inner work, there is a chance that you'll likely repeat the same loop of feeling stuck once again. Now obviously this isn't true if you are in a work environment that is extremely stressful, is toxic, where you're dealing with harassment or abuse. I would say absolutely leave. That is definitely the environment that's the issue. However, okay, this is more for you if things are going well, things seem to be fine, you're coasting, but yet you're still feeling stuck and uncertain, then I would say take the time during this time to do this inner work. And what does inner work mean? It means evaluating what you believe is true about yourself. What are you afraid of? Most of the time, it's fear of failure, fear of not being good enough in whatever it is that we want to pursue next. There's all kinds of fears that are going to come up in this process of introspection. So you want to look within, ask yourself, what do I believe to be true about myself? What are the fears that I'm holding on to? Dig into them, look into them. And I will create a video later on where I talk about this process of doing inner work. That is when you're going to be able to gain clarity. That is when you're going to actually going to know what it is that you need to do next. That is when you're going to be able to hear your inner voice, your intuition. Without doing this inner work, without exploring your inner world, you will not know what the right next step is for you. And you're going to rely on your external environment, other people's opinions, other people's ideas to be the guiding light when it ultimately has to come from you. So you don't want to repeat this loop of feeling stuck again by just going after the next shiny object. You don't want to be running towards that next job just because other people say that that's the next thing to do. I mean, when I talk about how AI is going to impact and how we need to lean on our creativity, I mean, I'm not saying all of a relies on that. Creativity, if you're not feeling as though that that's aligned to you, don't just jump into it because that's a trend. Jump into the next thing because you are being guided to. You are feeling led to. Follow your heart. Follow your intuition. It is a gut feeling that you need to be able to tap into if you want to be able to thrive as you move forward from this stuck phase in your life. So I really hope that this was helpful to you. If you liked it, please give it a thumbs up, subscribe, share it with your friends, and I will see you in the next video.