THE 10 LIFE SKILLS/LESSONS THAT WE VALUE IN OUR HOMESCHOOL

Hey guys, welcome back to my channel. Today I am doing a video on how we teach life skills in our homeschool. And this is a part of mine and Jessica from the Waldock Ways monthly open homeschool show and tell collaboration that anybody on YouTube is welcome to join. So if you homeschool and you have a YouTube channel and you want to share along with this month's topic, this month's topic is life skills in your homeschool, then the info for that is in the description box down below. Also last month's topic on homeschool chauffeur on driving or how you handle all the driving your homeschool. I, my family and myself were very sick last month, so I barely got any content up on YouTube. So because I didn't get that playlist out to you guys, I'm going to go ahead and open that particular playlist for the rest of the homeschool show and tell year. Typically we close the playlist at the end of the month, but if you have done a video on that, then stay tuned. I'll get that video up soon as well and I will give that playlist link to you all. So sorry about that, but we're back in action. Um, so this month's topic, like I said, is life skills. I have five kids so we have kind of grown in the way that we teach this over the years. And so I'm just going to share how we teach this in our home slash homeschool because this is one that's maybe more outside of like the homeschool hours type of a thing. And then you're welcome to go through the playlist and see how other people teach us in their home and get ideas from everyone else as well. Or you can leave some comments and down below and let us know how you teach life skills in your home. So let's go ahead and get started. All right. So you may have noticed that my, uh, setting here has changed a little bit. So we did some updates to our house last month as well, which I'm excited about. Um, but this room is one of the biggest changes, which you guys will notice because this is always where I stand to film, but it looks completely different. So we didn't move or anything just a different paint color and a little bit of decor change. Um, so if you are new here, welcome. My name is Abby. I am a mom of five. My oldest just turned 16. My youngest is two. We have three girls and two boys. We've got one not in school. We've got elementary, middle and high school. So we've got a lot going on here and that's why I'm excited to talk about today's topic, which is life skills. Because I think that we're in all stages of teaching the basics of, you know, putting your shoes away all the way up to, Hey, you're about to go off to school. Let's make sure you've got everything in line in order to have a smooth transition. So, um, I've got 10 different ways that we teach life skills in our home and I've got it all written down here. So forgive me for peeking at my list, but I don't want to go out of order. So, um, before I share, I will just mention that, um, life skills for me, they're not really necessarily a curriculum as I'm sure it is for most of you. There is some great curriculum out there. I will mention a couple things as I go through my list here, but for the most part, life skills are happening as life happens. Sorry, we've got neighbors around here. So kids are going in and out of my front door. So I'm going to try to get this done in just a couple of takes. Um, so as I was saying, life skills happen as life happens, right? If you're wanting to teach a kid how to bake or how to scramble an egg, that's going to happen as you're doing those things. And it's not necessarily when you're sitting down at the school table. And so it's a funny thing because we try to focus on a life skill each term and a handcraft each term, but that doesn't always mean that we're folding that into our homeschool routine. So for example, there have been seasons where, you know, I'm trying to train my kids in getting their laundry done efficiently and well, putting it away. You know, here's how you operate a washing machine for my younger ones. And here's how you sort things and place, put them away better. And when you do and don't wash things and stuff like that. So, um, we'll maybe focus on that more for a term, but then we go back to that just being a part of their normal routine. So maybe I'll be more aware of pulling myself away from my own housework to help my kids as is the right time, but that's not usually during math lessons. So it can be a little bit tricky to really focus on a life skill as part of your curriculum, because like I said, just has to happen when life is happening. That being said, I did identify 10 different intentional ways that we tend to focus on them in our homeschool. The first couple have to do with, um, educational skills. So number one is our checklist system and number two is an open schedule. So our checklist system is something that I can link down below and I'll throw a video up here in the corner as well for you. That gives our kids a little bit of freedom in decision-making and that is kind of the life skill there. It's just, these are the things I would like you to get done today or this week. Um, and in whatever order that they do that in for most of my kids, that's up to them, um, depending, uh, on their age or, you know, ability to focus. But I like to do things by checklist because I like to give them a little bit of freedom in practicing that time management. And also, you know, if one kid would rather just be on a roll with math one day or they're really into a book they're reading, I want to give them that flexibility as well, but that teaches them what time management and just some good studying habits. Um, the second thing is an open schedule. So that is the way that I like to do things is, um, they've got a chunk of time in the morning that they can do with as they please. If they're wanting to do a workout, my older ones like to work out. If my younger ones are wanting to just hang out, play, go outside, be on the scooter, swing in the backyard, they're allowed to do that during these different chunks of time. And then from like 10 to 12, this is the time they're working on their independent work generally. So instead of me telling them exactly what to do at each moment, I like to give them just parameters that we work within. And, um, that has been the way that I've really enjoyed doing things since my kids were younger, but I have seen that pay off as my kids have gotten older. They're very focused with their time. They know what they should be doing within that time. And I also think that it's just best for them at this age for me to not micromanage them because that's not really teaching them anything at all. I've told them, you know, I can take your cell phone. Um, so it's not a distraction, but that's not teaching you anything. You need to learn that self-discipline of setting it down at the right time. If we say, you know, at this time you can't have it, or, um, we'd like you to have, you know, the music off at this time. So we can all focus. Then I want them to be able to do that on their own. So in the same way, that's how we are with their homeschool. I would prefer that you get things done at this time. And if I were to tell you, do your math lesson first and then your science lesson, that's not necessarily teaching you the best way for you to study, to organize your schedule and to not procrastinate. I like to let them learn through failing in certain ways and procrastination. And just the way that that kind of comes back to bite you is a really quick lesson learned. So I've always been a fan of giving them the boundaries and then letting them do their own thing within those boundaries. Um, the next few life skills that we focus on in our home are specifically for our older kids. Um, so the first one is meals. Um, the next one is not, well, what did I scratch down here? Not trying harder for them. The next one is financial literacy and then time management failure, which I have mentioned, but I will go more in depth. Um, so as far as meals go right now, we've got say a 13 and a half, almost 14 year old son who, um, it makes his own meals before or after football practice. If he's going to miss a dinner, he is definitely in charge of, um, keeping up with his own protein goals and things beyond what we're, you know, feeding him. Um, and then my oldest who's 16, she is right now cooking one dinner each week on Tuesdays and she's learning something new each week. So Tuesday night is the night that she and I cook together. Um, sometimes it's something that I want her to learn. So if I'm wanting her to get used to making more soups because it's a great cost efficient way to feed a family, then Tuesday nights, you know, for a couple of weeks we'll make soup. She's not a big fan of cooking meat, but she wants to learn how to do it. So when she comes to me with recipes like, Hey mom, I know you want to teach me how to cook a casserole. Here are my suggestions. Then a couple of weeks later I'll say, Hey, let's learn how to, how to do this, how to cook a chicken breast or how to grill a chicken leg, you know, things like that when she's not used to doing that. So we, we alternate a little bit of her ideas, my ideas, and she's learning, um, on Tuesday nights right now. But then, like I said, my son, it's a lot of me just starting to back off and say, I fed you breakfast, but if you'd like scrambled eggs, you can go ahead and make it and just reminding him that he has that, um, ability now that he's getting older. Um, the next point, like I said, not trying harder for them. This is a really important life skill. I know that we consider life skills to be things like changing attire and, um, you know, meals and baking and all that, which that finds its way into our homeschool definitely. But, uh, effort and self-discipline is way more important to me as a life skill because in my opinion, if you can teach self-discipline, good work ethic, and delay gratification, you can do anything in life. Um, so we have this conversation. A lot of their older kids, we're not going to try harder in your sport than you are. We're not going to, we'll drive you there. We'll pay the enrollment fee, but if we're putting in more effort, talking to your coaches or trying to help you get a good placement or trying to help you make a particular team, if we are trying harder than you are, then you've lost us driving you there and you've lost our full backing because I think at some certain points you, you start to see that the kids are not picking up the slack where it's now becoming their responsibility. And it always seems to happen around this age for my older ones, like 14, 13, 14 where they've kind of been in my home the whole time. I start to notice like actually you should be the one to text your coach about that or you should be the one. And so that is not just for sports, but that's also things like driving. We have one about to get her license from the beginning. It's been, you know, we are here at appropriate times. You know, don't ask us at 11 at night, but we're here. We want to help you. You've got to be the one to show us that you want this more than we want this for you kind of thing. I will add in one thing to that grouping cause it was for my older kids. I was talking about you know the driving and the meals and kind of how we teach our older kids that for the younger kids, it is a great time to start teaching the basics of grocery shopping. I hardly ever go to the grocery store alone. They're with me, they're getting familiar with things. Um, they even learn how to use the grocery apps because that's a realistic part of what their future will be. Um, and then when it comes to the driving, they are helping me with using the map on my phone while I'm the one driving, you know, or can you watch for this road or tell me what's happening at that light over there. So there are ways to like practice a little bit of these things before they're actually at the age where you're fully teaching how to cook or how to drive or how to, you know, use your time management well. So just wanted to add that little note in before we moved on. Um, financial literacy, this has been our focus this year. We've read some great books on it. My kids have always had a little income they've earned one way or another. Um, one day a week, my daughter works at a local ministry and she gets paid for that. My son is always doing things to earn extra money. Um, and then they save every dollar they get from birthdays and holidays and grandparents who just love to throw money at them for no reason. So, um, they're really good about how they spend their money. I haven't seen much waste with them. Um, however, uh, there are just certain skills that they aren't going to learn unless we step in and teach them how to pay bills, you know, um, debit cards, things like that. So, um, a really great curriculum that I found this year is personal beyond personal finance for older kids and before personal finance for younger ones. So great. Like everything I was looking for in a financial literacy curriculum, it's amazing. Don't sleep on that one. So if you're interested, check that out. Um, you're going to see that in my curriculum videos this summer as well. And then we've also really enjoyed, um, the Charlotte Mason business math series. That's been really helpful by simply Charlotte Mason with just some of the basics of money in general. Um, so that's really, and then the other thing that's been really helpful, it's not a curriculum, but Venmo has a debit card program for teenagers. The debit card is free. You can make a free teen account under your own account. And so that's been a great way for my kids to have a debit card, um, without any fees attached to it. And then it's easy, super easy for me to just transfer money over to them. And the reason that I went that route instead of a bank account, well, they have savings accounts at our bank, but the reason that I went that route was because, um, they also Venmo their friends a lot and use Venmo to pay for a lot of things. So it's just like an all in one place for them. So my teenagers have Venmo cards as well. Um, and it's great because I can see what's in their account. I can see what they're spending it on and I can just easily throw them an extra 20 on their account if they're out to lunch and didn't realize how much the lunch was going to cost. Um, and then as I mentioned, allowing time management failure, that's just a real time management in general, um, should be point number six. That's really a very important life skill. Um, so for that, our rule in our house is single reminders. And, um, what did I write here? So I'm not sure what I wrote down there, but what I meant was we give single reminders and then just single followups. We don't do like the whole emotionally disciplined thing, you know, all of like the, well, this is why no lectures, none of that. When you fail with your time management, you very much know that you failed with your time management. So we will give them one reminder. I'm trying to think of an example. Um, you know, uh, don't forget that at three o'clock you, you have practice, so you need to wash your uniform. Obviously they know they have practice every day. Sometimes time slips away from them, so they need that single reminder. So if it's one o'clock and I noticed that nothing's happening, Hey bud, don't forget to wash that Jersey. Um, if they don't wash it, all right, well, that's your option. You're going to have to wear the stinky Jersey. That's a really, uh, it's not like this whole like, well, I told you and I reminded you and I'm not going to nag you and no, it's just like, all right, well, here's your options now. That's a lot of like getting ready for church, you know, Saturday night layout your outfit. We're leaving at this time. Uh, they don't want to be late places. So I'll give one reminder for my older ones so that they, and they really, they remember quickly if I'm constantly the one reminding them or I'm overly emotional when I'm disciplining them and get lecturing them about why this didn't work out for them, then they're really never going to learn anything. And so this actually, this is actually a trick I learned in marriage about not nagging your spouse. It's much better to just give one reminder. Anything after that, I personally feel like it's nagging. So I will say things to John once. And then if he forgets, he owns it and we move on. And it's the same for me. And so we display that for our kids. Like, Oh, I did forget to, you know, pay that fee for that. I'm so sorry. That was my fault. And then we move on instead of like, well, I reminded you and da da da, like way better to just let somebody miss something and they learn. And especially with teenagers, so good for them. So also with like co-op projects, you know, don't forget, like I'll say Wednesday, don't forget on Friday that you're supposed to have read this many chapters. All right. And then, you know, Friday when we're driving there and somebody realized they didn't finish their book, like, all right, well you're just going to have to talk to your teacher about that. Not like not emotionally involved. Um, and I just feel like that's the best way to learn. And that's what I mean when I say learning by failure. So number six was time management. Um, so let's recap because this is really like blabbery from me. Number one, checklist system. Um, number two, an open schedule with parameters. Um, those were both the teaching educational self-discipline. Um, number three, uh, teaching meals and just those basics of cooking. Number four, um, effort, self-discipline. Um, number five, financial literacy and number six, uh, time management. Um, so we're moving on from the ones that are specifically for my older ones and we're moving into the life skills that I consider to just be the skeleton, the bones of a good, um, and efficient life. So this is for my whole family. Uh, so number seven is Bible time and do we consider this a life skill for the most part? No, but I absolutely do because I have struggled as an adult to maintain my personal Bible time and it's because it was not a really, really solidified habit when I was a kid. And so giving my kids Bible time, teaching them how to use that Bible time. Well, um, teaching them how to study their Bible. Those are all things that are really important to me. And once they leave my home, it's not going to be carved out for them. So I like to teach them how to prioritize that, how to work within the boundaries of the time that they're given and how to maximize that, but also how to, um, make time for it if the schedule is getting thrown off. So we have time set in our schedule for Bible time. We have, you know, actual time for Bible study. We have family study at dinner. We have times where we're reciting catechism with each other. We have times where we're doing things in the car. I'm teaching them that this is a life skill and it has to go with you sometimes. And sometimes you have to set aside the time and sometimes you have to say no to things to make the time. But either way, teaching them the life skill of time and the word and how to properly study it and how to maximize your time studying it instead of just opening it up and going with it. Um, it's a really important life skill to me. Um, the next one is realistic chores. And this is when I can't tell you exactly what that's going to look like in your home. But from the time they're young, they're doing chores. We call them contributions because they're just contributing to our family as a whole. Um, but also we're teaching them how to do things in an orderly way, not so that they're cleaning my house. Because as you all know, sometimes it's not actually all that helpful, especially when younger ones are doing the chores, but they grow into it and it teaches them how to make this a part of their life for when they leave our home. And I think that's the purpose of life skills in general. It's not about checking the boxes of all the things they can do. It's about making their life, teaching them the consistency now. So if their life is so much easier and more efficient, they have time to do ministry and family when they leave our home. Um, so the chores, we actually have the same rooms that everyone does, but based on their age, it's what we ask of them. So they're kind of growing into that as they get older. Um, they all have their own laundry day. That's a big one. They all help with putting meals away. That's a really helpful and good one to learn. I'm trying to think like what other ones that people would consider. So I said laundry, cleaning different rooms, um, yard work. That's another one. Everyone helps with it. It's just a matter of what we're asking of you. And these are all things you're going to encounter when you leave our house. Habit training is the next one. Number nine. This is like the main way. I would say we teach a lot of life skills we use laying down the rails by simply Charlotte Mason. And this has been so helpful for us. And so habit training in general, like whether we're studying through that book or whether we're just working on building good habits in our home, um, that is a big one here. So I'll link that book below, but I will also, if I can find it direct you to a speech, uh, or a lecture that Sonia Schaefer from simply Charlotte Mason did on it that I have always enjoyed whenever she does this lecture at different conventions, I go to, I go sit in it, sit in on it. Cause it's always a good refresher. So if I can find it, if it is a video, I think it's a video somewhere. I will link it down below. And in that she kind of talks about, um, teaching the very basic skills of like that, remembering to put your jacket up when you get home and how here's a simple way to not nag them and to not remind them and to not do it for them. And we're going to build that skill of putting your jacket away every time you get home. And then we're going to build on top of that. So it's a really good, um, lecture. And then number 10 life skill that is so important for kids of this generation is just discernment with technology, when they use it, how to use it, you know, what to use it for, how to not be afraid of it. That was my thing. I was like way afraid of it. So my kids had funny reactions to technology for a long time when we started, um, letting them step into the season of discernment a little bit. When they got a little bit older, they had maybe a little more fear of it than was healthy. So, um, again, that's going to look different for, for every family based on like what your requirements are, where your convictions are with that. Um, but we have, of course, uh, when my kids were at, when they're at the age where we believe they need a phone for safety sake, if they're being dropped off, especially at sports and things, um, we've gone with gab phone for the last few years. We also did techless. Gab is just a little bit more kid friendly depending on their age. Um, so, uh, but regardless of if it's a safe phone or not, there's no phones in rooms for anybody in our family, no phones in bathrooms for anybody in our family. Um, the phones go to bed when we go to bed and they all sleep together. All the phones sleep together. Um, everyone's got old school alarm clocks in their rooms. You know, we've got those types of, um, of disciplines built in that they really can't, the kids don't get a choice in, but then, um, you know, we prefer them to keep it away during school. If it becomes a distraction, I will take it kind of a thing, but that's something that I like to shepherd them in and like to help them learn. And then the older that they get, um, is when we have them discuss, you know, yes, they have maybe a little more access to the TV on the weekend, still not alone, but things that I would come running in the room for, um, when they're little, I don't necessarily do anymore. And it's not because I think they can handle it, but I like to give them the choice of using their own discernment and turning it off. And if I hear too much, yes, absolutely. I'll come in the room. But, um, I think it's just, and the funny thing is it's been really interesting to watch our older ones have more personal boundaries with it than our younger ones because of the way it makes them feel, you know, our younger ones, like if they hear, I don't know, I'm trying not to like say a word if your kids are in the room, but like say they hear the word like stupid on the show, our younger ones, I think it's a natural instinct as a kid to be like, Oh, but our older ones will be like, Oh, that's not appropriate. You know, and they'll change the channel and I love letting them practice walking out that discernment on their own. So there is that. And then there is just a, yeah, there's a little note here. It's not a life skill necessarily, but just maybe it is. Um, this I've noticed now that we have friends who are driving now that they're on multiple sports teams and maybe they're going from the practice field to the game field and it just makes more sense for one kid to ride with other kids or thinking, you know, or with whoever. Um, a little bit more, uh, there's a little bit more, a little less of me driving a little more of, uh, the, um, what's the word chauffeuring happening from people? I might not even know that well. Um, freedom within boundaries. Uh, you know, check in with us. I, yes, there are apps that can track the kids. I prefer to not use them. I prefer to, I mean, they're there in case of an emergency, but I do prefer communication. And I prefer that they make good decisions on their own and check in with us. And that's not to say that we're like 10, you know, miles, um, emotionally disconnected from our kids. But I like those habits of checking in with us, letting us know what's going on and not depending on apps. Um, you know, my kid, my older ones have electric scooters. May my younger couple have bicycles. They have a lot of neighborhood friends. It's like, yes, you may play outside in yards, not in houses, you know, between here and, you know, a mile marker, a certain amount of way. I can still track whoever has a watch, whoever's got an air tag on their scooter. I can still track them, but I like to know, I like to tell them the boundary and let them operate within that. It's been really healthy, really helpful. You know, with homeschooling, I do not want my kids to be fish out of water. I mean, in some ways, of course, I would like them to be fish out of water when they get into situations that are unsafe. I want them to recognize like, this is very different than how it was raised, but I don't want them to not be able to make their own decisions. And this is a whole conversation on its own, um, about how we're helping our older ones with decision-making and how we're backing off when it's painful to like, let them practice that because they look at us a lot more than I want them to look at us for decisions. Um, so giving them that freedom. Um, but within boundaries, it's I think the best way for them to practice that skill of just decision making. So that was like a special note. I don't know. I don't know how you guys feel about my take on the life skills chat, but I think it's a little practical. And then like a little emotional, you know, discipline, self-control, those are life skills, but also how to cook a meal, do your laundry and manage your money are also life skills. So that's my list of how we teach that in our home. Not even really our homeschool, but in our home, let me know your thoughts on the actual life skills that you teach in your home and the comments down below. And if you have good recommendations, like I said, like there's sewing, we've done sewing, there's changing tires and basic, you know, um, just for, sorry, I just realized I didn't button a couple of buttons on this shirt. So I'm like, wow, that's a weird feeling. Um, you know, there's all of those things that we've taught as well, but, um, the, the skills that they'll need on the daily when they leave our house are the ones that I'm really focusing on right now. So let me know in the comments down below, if you have good recommendations for any of those life skills curriculum, I think that would be helpful for people. Um, and if you want to make a video, the info for that is in the description box down below as well. All right. Sorry, I'm really out of practice with chatty videos. I'm going to let you guys go now. Um, thank you for watching if you stuck through the end. Bye guys.