2 Terrible Mistakes That Kill Your Social Life.

Most people think that you have to be an extrovert to have amazing social skills. Actually some of the most socially confident people I've covered on this channel actually self-identify as introverts. I think just honestly I mean I you know I joke and I come out as a very self-confident person knowing things and this is a facade that I have. This is how I live life by actually being an extremely introvert and shy person. So let's define what an introvert is. An introvert is a person whose focus and energy naturally goes inwards to their own thoughts and feelings. An extrovert is someone whose focus and energy goes naturally outwards to other people and things. Introversion has nothing to do with being quiet, awkward or shy. In fact people tend to confuse introversion with shyness all the time. I looked from the outside of somebody I saw who was skinny, who was completely shy, introverted, behind the scenes has now emerged as possibly the hugest movie star of the Indian business. Farhan is very he can be very quiet and shy with people that he doesn't know and he's not an extrovert so he doesn't he doesn't really speak a lot. He's not very comfortable in spaces where there are people that he hasn't spent a lot of time with. A common misconception is that feeling drained after social interactions means you are an introvert. That is an oversimplification and it's not true at all. Being exhausted has more to do with feeling anxious in social situations or feeling like you are in a situation you don't want to be in. This constant overthinking will likely drain your social battery faster than the actual interactions. What you might not know is that introverts have some natural advantages over extroverts in social situations. Introverts are actually more likely to be resilient in the face of negative office gossip because extroverts are the ones who are more connected to external social stimuli. Introverts typically have a more rich mental life. So it's just about expressing what's already going on inside. The easiest way to start being more expressive is actually not to talk more. It's to practice effective listening. I've talked about listening in another video that's linked in the description. For now, let's talk about another misconception about being an introvert. People think being an introvert is a fixed category. Actually, we all have aspects of introversion and extroversion. It's just that some people are more introverted than others. Even if you embrace your introverted side, there's an even bigger trap that people fall into. That's what I call the be yourself trap. Trying to learn social skills means that you are not being authentic. This is by far the most common myth I see. In fact, it's one of the most common comments on the channel. So what does it actually mean to be yourself? Being yourself doesn't mean you never grow. Being yourself means being true to yourself. It means trying to be your best self. It means being someone today who your future self would be proud of tomorrow. The core of our personality is very stable and heavily determined by genetics. The skills you use to express that personality are definitely learnable. Let's say you learn how to stand up for yourself and enforce boundaries. That doesn't mean you're a new person. Some people mistakenly believe that you can't actually learn these skills. That your social abilities are somehow fixed. Let's take Hrithik Roshan as an example who by his own admission was extremely shy. Watch how soft-spoken he is in this clip. And contrast that with a later interview. I hope you found this helpful. Thank you so much for watching and I'll see you in the next one.