Fireside Chat Ep. 220 — Dennis Prager’s Guide to New Year’s Resolutions | Fireside Chat

Hi everybody and happy new year It's a funny thing to say happy new year, but it makes perfect sense We want people to have a happy new year, by the way, I have been wishing people happier new year given how It was a nicer word that I was thinking of how Not so wonderful the last two years have been I wish you a happier new year. I'm dennis prager. This is a fireside chat number 220 And I won't philosophize about it. I do that every week 220. You should watch the other 219 In any order it's not relevant, but it's all good stuff This is otto needless to say otto is out like a light as they say and What is this? This is a chance to talk to you about whatever is on my mind and take your questions from you all over the world Okay, so I was thinking given that it's the first Fireside chat of the year. I should talk to you about new year's resolutions And make the point that I am told I made last year. However, I don't expect people To remember anything they hear once It's a human problem, it's just a fact for anybody Once is not enough You got to repeat things over and over how many times did your parents say to you Say, thank you. Say. Thank you. Say. Thank you. How come it doesn't work the first time? Okay, so you get my point anyway very quickly i'm a big believer in new year's resolutions even if you break them Because at least you have made the resolution That means you are aware of something you should do That's a biggie So I just want to make that clear people who knock it it's it's There's a certain mentality that obviously I don't have That knocks that's cynical that is cynical about everything. That is good Why would anybody knock the idea of a new year's resolution? I mean, you've got to be a pretty gloomy human being I mean you could say look Make them You may you'll probably break them. All right, fine But don't even bother making them Or have some philosophical opposition to new year's resolutions That's uh, that that doesn't speak well of the opponent It's a beautiful thing to do it. It makes you think things through What can I do to have a better year a better life a better me? Why would that on god's earth be bad Okay So I jotted down right before this I admit it. I'm sure if I Had thought about it for a week. I would have come up with more or even better perhaps But I like this to be as spontaneous as possible. So this is what I jotted down Megan is a living witness to that fact correct Just did it no order of importance Get into one good habit Life consists of habits good habits bad habits That's really what life consists of and It's hard to get into a good habit It's easy to get into a bad habit I mean if you had let us just say I'm taking an innocuous thing because it's not bad in a moral sense But let's say you decided to have an ice cream sundae every night before you went to bed You would get used to that very quickly And it would become a habit On the other hand i'll tell you on the other hand I have been doing what's called intermittent fasting And i'm not recommending this i'm just telling you that i've read a lot about this I've had doctors who've written on this on my radio show and i'm convinced that it is a healthy thing to do I have not lost any weight, which may be apparent uh I am convinced that outside of being incarcerated Uh in a concentration camp, I I am not capable of losing weight I work out I eat probably under 2000 calories a day and fast at least 15 hours a day To no avail i'm not complaining. This is if this is my one great problem in life I am one of the luckiest people on earth however Uh, I did decide three years ago that I would give it a try because I read how how good it could be for you in terms of longevity in terms of giving your your System a rest every day. So I go 15 hours minimum Almost every single day just drinking. I just have something to drink usually my case iced coffee and That's that's now a habit Now if I do if I don't do it, I feel like i've overeaten And so I got into a good habit Uh, by the way, not everybody could do it I fully know that they'll get headaches if they don't eat more often and you shouldn't do it in that case I'm, not proselytizing for intermittent fasting. I'm only giving you an example of a good habit Another good habit that I that is very hard to start is giving charity Okay, it's Almost nobody wakes up and goes. Oh, how much money can I give away today? I mean unless you're you're, uh, you know, very rich person. Most people don't think that way But once you start doing it, it's very hard not to anyway There are so many good habits going to bed earlier, which i've never mastered in my life I don't even make a resolution to go to bed earlier because I will break it that night So I try not to make resolutions. I know I won't keep for a day if I keep it for a day Maybe i'll make it Anyway, uh get into a good habit. That's really really big deal. Uh, read something, uh for a half hour a day do uh If you're video game addicted play an hour less a day Or there's so many good habits you can get into and if you can't figure out any that's a problem That's an issue but somebody who loves you and cares about you might help you. Well now that you asked Here's a suggestion. Okay next You won't expect this one Don't get insulted You will lead a much happier life if you don't walk around Looking to be insulted most people let me put it to you this way Most people who get insulted frequently are looking to be insulted I am insulted on a mass basis regularly and do fine I never walk around thinking. Oh, I was insulted Let's say you are insulted So what? the the By the way, that's almost a new year's resolution unto itself being able to say so what more often Letting letting things roll off your back. I mean by the way And and also there's a difference between an insult And a a loving criticism you want loving criticism. Otherwise, you won't get better but the but The people have to learn how to criticize loved ones too because you have to put it in very In a very good way that that it is clear that you appreciate the overall wonderfulness of that person, but here's here's an area where you could uh, You know work on something and get better. Uh, I uh, it's just a trivial example of that. So a good friend of mine Who's a very bright guy and he so he sent me Uh an email and he misspelled non sequitur Which is pretty damn easy to do Non sequitur is about as tough as albuquerque How many americans who don't live in albuquerque can spell albuquerque So i'm a big one on spelling I can spell albuquerque and I can spell non sequitur I I Always wanted to spell things, right? Anyway Uh, I wrote him back That the proper spelling of the word non sequitur and he wrote me a huge. Thank you note That was very sweet of him He wanted to wanted to make sure to know that it was fine for me to do and that he actually appreciated it as I would If I sent an email with a misspelled word, I don't mean a typo, but I mean a misspelled word Of course i'd want somebody to tell me and i'll tell you why That way the next time I don't do it, why do I want to continue spelling something wrong? I I That's why like I like being corrected on the radio if I said something that's wrong I want to be told it immediately so I don't do it again anyway uh, it's uh This notion everybody is now triggered insulted uh, uh the You are taught this has been true since I was a kid It's like there is now a way to be insulted Gratuitously I mean This is a super sensitive arena because there are Awful awful things that are said to women By men, I am totally aware of that and it's not it's not right However, not everything a man says should be taken as an insult You know, uh, you Almost men are so afraid today to say anything to a woman You look good in that dress, which is about as innocuous As you know, I really like when it's 70 degrees uh, uh And yet a lot, you know What was behind that comment who cares what's what's the difference, you know take life a little more easily uh and and Don't get insulted easily Whether here's my final comment on that Whether you get insulted is usually your choice That's critical Third they're all unrelated which is a nice thing Study the bible Now for many of you who have gone through the secular brainwash known as school This sounds like a moronic idea I might as well tell you to practice voodoo So if you think that just know that the greatest minds in in history in the western world all knew their bible Really really well, even if they were not actively religious abraham Lincoln is the best example man who quoted the bible regularly and had one on his nightstand and almost never went to church But he knew it's the greatest repository of wisdom ever written And it is and I debated whether I should mention this but I I'll let the chips fall where they may the best way to start in my opinion is with my books the rational bible Where I explain things rationally i'm not trying to win you over to any religion Just want to win you over to the wisdom of the greatest books ever written the first five books in particular So you'll do what you will but i'm telling you There are four thousand reviews on amazon of my of the first two that came out third one's coming out later this year genesis and exodus came out and Uh, read read what people wrote How I I was an agnostic and now I take god seriously. It's called the rational bible You want to start with something else go right ahead, but i'm telling you that's one of those good habits Start studying the greatest works ever written. It'll change you another one buy from local stores and from smaller websites I'm, really worried about small business Uh, they are the the backbone of america small businesses And wherever I can I try to patronize a local store And on the internet I try to avoid the giants Well, it's very convenient to order from amazon I fully acknowledge that but way Helping a smaller company on the internet with that The extra 90 seconds it takes to fill in your credit card As opposed to just click something. It's 90 seconds that that will really help the country And wherever you are in the world keep that in mind it's not only applicable to americans So I I mean if the item, you know is seven dollars, it doesn't doesn't matter much But if if it's if it's an item of anything, you know over 25 let's say Like i'll just give you an example. So, uh, I I I'm a big fan of shampoo. I'm the only man I know who likes shampoo. I'm fascinated by shampoo it's one of the Secrets of my life when they say why do you what? I'm, so what tell us something that nobody knows about you. I always say i'm crazy about shampoo Not the smell the smell women care about the smell. I just care if it works But anyway, i'm fascinated so I can get it on amazon, but I always go to another store on on the internet to get the shampoo That's just an example Why not? Okay, what else oh, this is related when feasible buy from countries other than china i'm sorry to say this it's not it's not anti-chinese It's anti-communist There that the regime in china is a very very bad one treats its own people or awfully Which is true of every bad regime so that's something to uh I don't always do it because some things I really want and they're only made in china But by and large I do look to where to where something is made two more If you're single work on finding somebody to marry This is i'm sort of a broken record on that one Uh, you will thank me later as many people do They I get this so often it's because of you I married You dennis because i've made the case and it is it is a better way to live a life and You it's not easy to find the right person So make the effort i'm a big fan of internet dating. I don't see a single downside you you uh, you You have all the control in the world not to not to have your address or phone number on it and uh, you can you can spend two months just on zoom To see if you really want to meet this person I don't I don't understand why you wouldn't and when you do by the way Be as specific as possible about who you are So that you weed out those who may not want you if you're religious say you're religious if you're uh, if you if you're Uh conservative say you're conservative Say say who you are so that you weed out the people that you may not want to spend the time Oh Dating it doesn't mean that they're not a good person. It just means you you want to share values And finally which is related work on finding and making close friends As I have said on my radio show for all of my career You should date for friends The way you date for a spouse It's a very you I don't know how you go through life without close friends. I couldn't do it I don't know how anybody does. Okay. So here's the story on the Uh video question, that's how we always open up the question part with a video question Usually I see it right before I Go on with you However, megan wanted me to spontaneously react. I have not seen the question. I have not seen the questioner And here we go That is the famous arm Okie doke. I'm nervous Hey, dennis. I'm danny t husband of megan's arm. I'm 30 years old from burbank, california Currently my wife is pregnant. Um, I would wanted to know if you have any thoughts on people having kids during this Uh political climate that we're in right now Um, a lot of people wait a minute. How can you keep talking after you give me you gotta give me a minute Danny i'm, sorry. I don't hear a word. You're saying on but okay Holy crow I'm chilled. I'm totally chilled. I am I could cry i'm so happy for you Oh my god, really i'm tearing up Oh man, oh that's really wonderful news That's a big deal Did he say anything after that? I heard a voice I can tell you what did he ask? A lot of people choose not to have kids because of the political climate like they don't want to raise their kids up in this Time or a lot of people will say, you know, take your time travel You know like people who just I get it right. So that was all heard right the summary that megan gave First of all, you taught me what to do now Hey, danny. God bless you. I like blew it One minute one minute. I'm gonna get it right. I did. There we go Oh god The notion that you don't bring a child into the world that you don't become a parent because life is tough Is only said by people for whom life has not been tough Basically, and I don't mean this is an insult even though it'll sound that way, but remember don't get insulted Uh, it's spoiled people are spoiled as I have said secularism plus affluence Is a very bad combination It produces a boredom. It produces a safetyism People people are more afraid of life Who haven't suffered than people who have suffered? Why did jews whose whole families were murdered by the nazis? Why did they have children? And you're not going to have children because of covet May I have a vomit bag? That is my reaction to that I have no sympathy for that notion. I have contempt for the notion Not for the people who say it but for the notion You're not going to bring a child into the world because of global warming or because of of covet or whatever Then when should people have brought children into the world? Do you know how much suffering has been the norm in human existence? The what was the what was the lifespan 500 years ago or 300 years ago? What was the average lifespan 35 40? Why did they bring in? Oh, you know, you're gonna die at 40. Anyway, why have a child? Oh, look, there's a plague. Oh, oh, look. There's a war. There's always wars Okay, I can only say this that those who don't want to bring in a child into the world because of global warming shouldn't If you're that foolish, we're not I can't say I lament your decision not to reproduce Okay to put it bluntly Danny congratulations You're a terrific couple Your kids are lucky to have you as parents Oh and be strict Your kids need guardrails even more than love This was one of the great uh Tragic notions that developed after world war ii that all kids need is love It's one of the most colossal mistakes made in In the last half century or more really world war ii ended in 1945. It's a long time ago And that's when the ideas developed like dr. Spock. He was the big big child rearing guru All your kids need is love No, your kids need a lot of things and most of all They need guardrails They need parents Who are strong? Who teach them no As john rosemond that great great child psychologist said, you know what vitamin your kid needs the most vitamin n And what is vitamin n the word? No, by the way, john rosemond made a prager u video We have terrific terrific prager u videos a very early video I'm a big fan of john rosemond child psychologist My parents told me they loved me Before I was say 21 When they told it to me more often interestingly Uh, I would say they said it maybe three times in my uh, my whole childhood I turned out pretty normal Very normal. I'm actually a healthy dude It doesn't mean I don't have issues but uh, every healthy person has issues It's like healthy people get colds doesn't make them sick a sick person But they did give me guardrails And they gave me models, which is critical I saw my father what type of man I would like to grow up to be Boys need that tremendously And girls need a father To to teach them how they should be treated by a man Girls who are bonded to their fathers make much better choices in men than girls who don't Doesn't mean you can't i'm just telling you what the statistics are okey-doke Uh, eric25, Sioux city, iowa. Hey, love your show. Could you talk about the idea of perfectionism? That would be a great subject to talk about i've never talked about it I I don't quite understand what it even is. I'll assume it means That you pursue perfection and you feel Frustrated and angry at yourself if you don't achieve it, is that fair? Is that the issue? Okay So all I could say is to the extent that I could talk to your mind and not not your brain that You should pursue perfection But never assume you'll achieve it. That's all What does it mean even perfect perfect what If you build houses, you're going to build a perfect house. What does a perfect house even mean? I don't know what it means. I don't know what perfect anything means That's why I I perfect personally never Never think of it. What I strive to do is the very very best possible That's what I strive to do That's it. But I the thought Do I ever enter my radio show? Yeah, i'm gonna have a perfect show Give a speech i'm going to give a perfect speech write a book. I'm going to write a perfect book I don't I don't even get it It's it's pretty useless I I think the word perfect is generally useless the whole problem with the left is that it Compares america to a perfect society instead of to other real societies So i'm not a fan of the word perfect Annie 13 montessano, washington. You ever hear of montessano? Me neither By the way, do you know that there is a city in washington? You're going to crack up. Are you ready? The city's name is george So imagine saying oh, so where do you live I live in george, washington It sounds bizarre You live in george, washington. Yes And I only know it because my my younger son was born in eastern washington Uh, I was there the day his birth mother gave birth to him and My my then wife my late wife and I adopted him that day and So I drove from eastern washington to seattle The whole across the whole state and passed the city of george And that was 29 years ago hard to believe He's getting married in a couple of months To a wonderful woman, by the way anyway So annie 13 years old in washington state. Hello. Mr. Prager auto and the arm. Oh, it's too much capitalized I live in a small town in washington. It must be because I never heard of it My town has many churches. So I normally assume many people are normal When I go to youth group at my church, my peers are talking about their mentally deranged classmates I am homeschooled and do not deal with such But some of the school kids are acting like animals and calling themselves furries Mr. Prager, why are some people like this? And how does one deal with them? Thank you for your time well, I this is new to me I I I have to say i'm not To the extent that this exists. I believe I believe you I You couldn't have made it up anyway Uh, you ask where does this come from And I know the answer boredom That's where it comes from Boredom is one of the most animating uh What states of human life that that exist? This the people Who are bored will seek excitement anywhere. They will seek attention anywhere And this is uh, that would be an example to me If you if you uh wake up one day at 13 and you say, you know, i'm really an animal there That is a function Of boredom your parents should have given you the clarinet Take a few time with something Shatter accordion. Yeah accordion exactly It's a it's a very real problem Affluence easily produces boredom Affluence doesn't mean rich. It means that you're not worried about your next meal People who are worried about their next meal are never bored Tyler 12 years old castaic, california. Hi otto megan's arm snoopy nathan and dennis It's getting longer this list. I'll tell you You're gonna have to include forest who sometimes is here for nathan or Just here Forest is here today Thank you for your fireside chats, which helped me to know what is actually going on out there I recently started watching your chats for that reason I have asked you a couple things before A couple of things it should be but I know that they've dropped off a long time ago Such as if there are any okay-ish colleges left and where our country is going But today I would like to ask what democrats think of republicans What is a what would a leftist tell their child a republican is thank you so much for your weekly wisdom God bless you. Well, god bless you tyler so Generally speaking The further left you get the more the belief is that republicans are selfish. That's the key That's their key word plus of course six herb sexist intolerant xenophobic homophobic islamophobic racist and bigoted I made up that acronym so long ago that it's obviously committed to memory That's that is what they uh, that's what they think But it's an interesting thing if you tell them, you know, that's really interesting Given the fact and and this is a fact This is not an opinion That conservatives give more charity of same income same overhead same same everything They give more charity Than per capita than liberals and especially leftists do so It's an odd thing to say by the way, if you heard that a couple Adopted a child with special needs physical deformity mental issues Would you assume that it was someone on the left? Or someone on the right? I would assume it's someone on the right Not that nobody on the left does it but I would assume that somebody on the right did it Also volunteering time conservatives do that more Than than people on the left so calling, uh republicans selfish is the the left-wing tactic of simply smearing opponents Not prove that the smear is accurate and moving on That's that is what is at that is what is at issue here That's time Well Time flies when you're having a good time. I obviously enjoy this You obviously do too because otherwise you wouldn't be watching So I I think that's very important That I make this both deep and enjoyable That's my intent I wish you again a happy new year. I hope you'll take some of the resolutions to heart and i'll see you next week Thank you for watching this video to keep prager u videos free. Please consider making a tax deductible donation