in the end, you only have yourself...don't forget this

they have that story of just depression that that story of and where you know you stop believing in yourself and you suck and you're just not good where it can bring you to your knees [Music] that's part of the process i mean that's part of you coming face to face with who you really are [Music] what are you gonna do about it now and i think from there that's how you learn at least that created a a real hunger for me to go out and actually study the great ones you know study the people that have had great success because it leaves clues because the formula for success is there but we all have these stories that you can i'll come in here and i can tell you my story there's underlying like there's always stories of jealousy the stories of okay i'm not good enough there's stories of i don't have what it takes in the self-doubt and all that envy and all that stuff wrapped up in different stories [Music] but i think that we live in an age when our lives are regularly punctuated by career crisis by moments when what we thought we knew about our lives about our careers comes into contact with a threatening sort of reality it's perhaps easier now than ever before to make a good living it's perhaps harder than ever before to stay calm to be free of anxiety because the moment you identify yourself with something your intellect's work is just to protect that identity if you whatever the identities of nation or family or gender or race religion whatever the moment you identify yourself with something your intellect will only function around that to protect that so it is a certain type of prejudice the moment you're identified so the only thing i did with my life is i never identified myself with anything and life just exploded within me in ways that thought seems so puny that i do not indulge in thought most of the time you matter most people don't believe they matter that they're worth it and they're worth it very much they matter very much there's a reason why they're here and we all go through different challenges and obstacles in our life and they're natural we need to face these challenges they're here to teach us something about ourselves and why we're here so listen to the challenges listen to the obstacles don't run away from them and focus every day on how you can improve just a little bit of your life so you can feel better and make someone else better around you [Music] i think it's about refusing to have someone define you and to say i'm not going to be silent i have to maintain my authenticity because it is in how we give our voice allow give ourselves permission to speak our truth that's what's going to change our world in the world around us [Music] i always thought that confidence [Music] was a thing that you feel and i have come to prefer that confidence is something that you do meaning that you know a lot of people to think okay well you're going to feel confident first and then once you feel confident then you'll take the action and that's wrong it's not a chicken or an egg in my mind i think what happens is you have to force yourself in a moment of self-doubt to do something and when you see yourself taking action the confidence follows so i have created my own definition of confidence which is confidence is the willingness to try and you display the willingness to try when you take action it's a lot like the relationship between courage and fear you can't have courage without fear courage isn't the absence of fear it's acting in the face of it and confidence isn't the absence of self-doubt it's being willing to try even though you doubt yourself but what the hell is success it's hitting an expectation and i always tell people man trade your expectations for appreciation it's a whole new world instantly if you can appreciate this moment if you can't find ecstasy in this moment in a conversation with a friend and looking in your wife's eyes being with your children going on a run if you can't find xe now i'm here to tell you more money more people more love more business more anything is not going to give you more access if you can't do it here now you're not going to do it there when you got more so why don't i do it now and have a rich life right now i tell people money that's one thing like having financial abundance there's skills that's a science but wealth is a decision to recognize the gifts in you the talents in you because sometimes we we numb those talents because we are always afraid because we want to listen to what others say about us but it's important to dig deep within you come home to yourself when you do come home to yourself then you [Music] focus in on our ideas make sure that we own them that we are truly the authors of our own ambitions because it's bad enough not getting what you want but it's even worse to have an idea of what it is you want and find out at the end of the journey that it isn't in fact what you wanted all along [Music] hmm your model of the world is what shapes you long term your model of the world is the filter that's what's shaping us so for me the first step is just opening yourself up to new experiences and new role models because most of us can't see ourselves in people so then we try and fit ourselves into the boxes that we do see that sets a pattern for for what it means to be an adult i think what it means to be an adult is to be in touch with the child that you once [Music] were [Music] you