Elizabeth Olsen Takes a Lie Detector Test _ Vanity Fair

Nothing here hurts. Okay, and lean slightly forward. Mm-hmm. I have low blood pressure. Okay. Is your full name Elizabeth Chase Olsen? Yes. Are you an actor? Yes. Are you about to take a polygraph exam? Yes. Are you worried about failing this polygraph? No. Am I already lying? Do you lie pretty often? No, I don't lie. Lie? I'm lying. I just lied from saying I don't lie. I don't lie. That's correct. Oh weird. I really don't think I lie. We're going to start with the category of your life. Okay. You once said you were intimidated by this person. Oh, Danielle Heim. I'm so happy I didn't know these questions before. Yes, I think I still am intimidated by that person. Describing her as the coolest person in the world. Yeah, especially when you're in high school, and she was like always that cool. Do you still think she's the coolest person in the world? I think Danielle's up there. She's yeah, she's a very talented person and has a very cool vibe. I think if I wanted to be a rock star one day, I would want to grow up to be like her. Danielle was recently in Licorice Pizza. Yes. Do you think you're a better actor than her? Yeah. Sorry, Danielle. I hope she'd agree. Does that mean you're the coolest person in the world now? No. I'm very uncool. Did you see Licorice Pizza? I did. And you didn't think she was very good? No, I loved the film and I thought she was great in it, but she didn't have to do much. She's lying about the film. What do you mean? Lying. About what? Liking the film? That's correct. Oh, I did like the film. Or about her acting. Oh, yeah, she was fine. Fuck, man. Sorry, Danielle. You did great. I don't know what's happening. It's so uncomfortable right now. John Oliver claims your sisters, Mary-Kate and Ashley, are just one person moving incredibly fast. Is he correct? No. How can you prove that? They're twins. My mom gave birth to both of them C-section style. And there are lots of photos since forever that proves there's two of them in these photographs. And I think the photos would prove that. When you, you know, capture a photo with babies in different places and stuff. But you weren't there. I was there sometimes. Later, when I was born. What about Photoshop? There's, yeah, not then, really. Not in the 80s. Have you ever used the term New York minute when talking to them? No. Even when you lived in New York? Yep. I don't think I've ever used that phrase, actually. What about you got it, dude? I say that a lot. I like you got it, dude. Do you do a thumbs up? I do this, because I'm cool. And if I had to start teaching a class on how to be cool, I would tell people to do that. That's where we would begin. Do they like it when you say that? I don't know if I've said it to them, but I do say it. As a reference to Full House? No, I just like say it. I like the phrase. And I also with the wink. Yeah, sure. You once said you are a plant mom. I don't think I've said that, but I love plants. I don't know if I've referred to them as their mother. Telling the truth. Okay. Do you name your plants? No. I don't like naming inanimate objects like cars and houses and plants. I don't know. I guess they're not inanimate objects. They're growing living beings. But no, I don't like naming them. Would we find any funny plants in your California home? Oh, like pot? No. I want to be a stoner. I'm an aspiring stoner. I'm trying. I just started trying, actually. It's it's something that I'm not very good at. Okay. I just started trying it again for the first time in like a decade. So I'm a beginner. It's legal in California. What would a beginner weed smoker do? They they they take a hit, really small one. Try not to cough. They wait about 45 minutes. They take another hit and then it's bedtime. That's what I've done now three times in the last like 10 years. This is definitely the second thing I teach in my cool person school. You said you love to cook and have been hosting dinner parties since you were 17. Yes. Do you think you're a better cook than this person, Ina Garten? No. I know. No. She was one of my teachers. I watched Food Network a lot growing up, and I would think she would be one of my teachers. She doesn't know that, though. What about this person? No, Giada. No. Another one of my teachers. Does she know she's one of your teachers? Nope. Nope. I love the way she says, but I'm a John or a John. She really likes saying her Italian words like an Italian. What would you cook for them at a dinner party? I like a kale Caesar salad that and I like I like that they can anchovy dressing and make homemade ricotta. I really like Jody Williams cookbooks. So there are a lot of recipes that I've kind of stolen from her. It's like a sun-dried tomato toast thing. I like lots of snackable things, maybe roasted chicken because it's simple. Do you think they'd be impressed? No. I think they'd be like, thank you. You are a self-proclaimed minimalist. Huh. OK. Yeah. Sometimes these journalists, I don't know what they put on there. But yes, maybe I think I have not too many things. So is this a jacket a minimalist would wear? I think so. I don't have any jewelry on. Not a lot of makeup. I think so. You know, and and that always really one piece is pretty easy to put on and take off. There wasn't like, you know, any complicated taping or it's very easy to wear. OK. Does preferring simple fashion make you a hard client for a stylist? Sometimes. Yeah. Just because I I'm not very enthusiastic about clothes. I rather wear my own clothes like I am right now. Would you consider yourself a tough client in general? I don't think so. No. I'm pretty agreeable. Eventually, I'm easygoing. I don't complain a lot. Judd, she's telling the truth. So I've only laid once so far. It was about Daniel Himes acting. That's good. Moving on to your career. Oh, boy. You auditioned for Spy Kids, but didn't get the role. No. You were quoted saying, I'm very happy I didn't get it because I didn't want to be a child actor. Do you stand by that statement? Yes. Then do you consider yourself a liar since you were a child actor and how the West was fun? Well, that was kind of like I would be like babysat at the same time if there's a lot of kids. So it's more helpful for us to all be at the same place. And so I would be around set. And so sometimes they would use me. My character's name was Girl in Car in the credits. So you were forced? No, I was happy to. I was a ham. I wanted attention. So, Elizabeth, was it really Agatha all along? Yes, it was really Agatha all along. There's a song and everything. There's a lot of Wanda fan art. Sure. Do you ever get sent any? I don't know how how I would because I'm not on social media, but I have in the past been sent fan art and I've seen it at Comic-Cons. And I would really hope that it would never be sent to my home because that would scare me. Have you ever gotten fan mail from someone incarcerated? I don't think so. Maybe people that should be, but I don't know. You said you're not in the Avengers group text. Yeah, I don't even know what that is. I was on some sort of chain. I forgot it was some app that's like a secret texting app where people don't record, you know, in this space. Like what you say or something. I don't know what it was called, but we were on some sort of like fantasy football. And I deleted that app since. And I don't know how I'm not on any other group text with anyone because I'm so cool. No groups want you to join? No, they haven't invited me to play another fantasy league since. I wonder why. What would you need to do to get added back in? Oh, I don't know. I don't I don't go out much. Maybe if I were more social. But I'm not. It's just an app. You don't need to go anywhere. Oh, yes, sure, sure, sure. I don't have WhatsApp and I don't really know how they're communicating with one another. No one's talked to me about it. I don't think Benedict Cumberbatch is on the chat either. So there's not a secret Avengers group with you and Benedict? No, we have like a one way interaction or two way. I guess that would be two people in one interaction. Speaking of, do you think this man looks like an excited otter? A bit. And I also if I love otters. So I think he I hope he would like that. He looks very it's a very funny facial expression. Moving on. Do you think this man is the smartest man alive? No, I don't know him, though. But I would never assume that an actor would be the smartest man alive. You don't know him at all. I don't think so. No, I've never met him. You were in the same movie. I've never met him. She's coming out truthful. Never met him. And he's already told me that I've lied a couple of times. I've never met that man. I've met his wife. OK, then the final category is pop culture. I know lots about pop culture. I'm sure you'll do fine. Thank you. You've said you and this man, Chris Evans, are very close friends. We were. We lived very close to each other. And during that time, we'd hang out a lot. I still like him, but I don't like hanging out with him anymore. You don't like hanging out with him anymore? No, I just like it. No, I don't. It's not that I don't like hanging out with him anymore. I was doing it in the more L.A. way. I don't like still hang out with him. I was doing it more as a valley kid. But yeah, he's he's he's he has a great laugh. So it makes you feel better about yourself when you tell a joke. Would you say you were BFFs? Never. No, but we were friends and we're friends. I don't know why I'm acting like he's dead. We're friends, but like we just don't hang out anymore. Did you stop hanging out with him because he tap dances? No, it's one of the things I like about him. Did he show you? I've seen him tap dance. Yeah, he taps a lot on set. I like wait around and just kind of start like tapping his feet when we're in between setups and stuff. Is he your favorite, Chris? Um, I don't know who my favorite Chris is. That's inconclusive. What about this Chris? Chris Pratt? Yeah, he's nice, too. I mean, that's why I think I feel inconclusive about it. They've all got different things to offer. They're all, you know, nice, nice people to be around. None of them are divas. And that's how I feel about the Chris's. I think I like Chris's in general. On an episode of Jimmy Kimmel, celebrities read mean tweets. Someone commented that you have weird ******* thumbs. Thumbs. Yes, I remember that. Do you think you have weird thumbs? I do have weird thumbs. Can you show us? Yes. They don't really oppose much. What? OK, OK, OK. You didn't like it either. No, no, no. They I can't open champagne, you know, in the celebratory style. I have to just kind of yank it off with my fist. Do you do that a lot? Open champagne. I'd like to do it more, but I have done. My brother told me that if I if I kept doing it, my thumb would fall off because he's my brother. I would tell friends when they wanted to see it, that I couldn't do it because you were scared because I was scared that it would fall off. You deleted all forms of social media in 2020. Do you feel disconnected from the rest of the world? No. So you don't have a secret Instagram account? No. I will go on to like my friend's Instagram accounts and I get logged off after like it won't let me for the rest of the day after like three photos I look at. And then Instagram tells me I can't look at it anymore. And then I wait for 24 more hours. And sometimes I don't know. I don't actually know the timing, but I get logged off if I if I try and browse. What about a secret TikTok? No, I've never seen the app. I've seen videos off of it from friends, but I've never seen the app. Do you like the TikTok dances? There is a Dr. Strange one that makes me laugh every time I look at it. And it's a guy who's pretending to be Dr. Strange, and he's really intense. And that gives me joy. So do you know what a meme is? Yes. Well, I get it confused with the gifs. They're one's moving in one's words. Do people send you WandaVision memes? I think I've gotten like a bunch of I think people have sent me stuff. Yeah, people have sent me stuff of Wanda. I don't know what if it would be a meme or a gif or whatever. But your partner, Robbie, was in a band called Milo Green. Correct. Are we allowed to call Robbie your husband? Yes. So how often do you listen to your husband's band? I used to listen to them a lot. I kind of listen to like one playlist for a couple of years, and then I move on to a new playlist and he's not on the new playlist. I've been listening to on repeat for the last two years. It's like like like 30 songs on there. And then I'll like play Rosalia and stuff. That's the most pop culture I get. That's pretty pop culture. Yeah, I love her. If it's on SNL, I'll learn something. So you watch SNL? I do. Would you host SNL? I would love to. I used to be too scared to. Now I'm scared to, but I would like to try. What scares you? All of it. I think it's an intimidating thing to do that I've aged and I think I'm getting more confident. I'm not a liar. Final question. At any point, did you lie during this interview and we didn't catch you? No. But I also feel like we were a bit harsh on the second lie. Judd, she's lying. Take her to jail. That's all we need.