Taylor Swift SADDEST Interview Moments PART 2

It's a little offensive, honestly. I grew up in Pennsylvania. And growing up in Pennsylvania and wanting to pursue country music, those are two different things. I remember when I went through this period of time when I didn't really have that many friends at school, kids would just heckle me and be like, oh, go sing that country beat. And then at that point, it just dawned on me that I had to love being different or else I was just going to end up being dark and angry. The one indulgence I allow myself is... Food. I just love food. I can't do crazy, strict, birdseed diet stuff. I like to eat a lot, so I exercise a lot. So I try to really balance it out because I just love food so much. I would have defended it to anyone who said, I'm concerned about you. I was like, what are you talking about? Of course I eat. It's perfectly normal. I just exercise a lot. And I did exercise a lot, but I wasn't eating. You still have a lot of anxiety, I know. And you worry a lot. Yeah, not like rocking back and forth anxiety. No, no. But I know you worry about things, even when things are going really, really well. Oh, yeah, like I worry about everything. You have this little voice inside of you saying negative thoughts. You can't do it. You're a loser. Is that what the voice said? Yep. Let me talk about your anxiety issues a little bit more. Oh, great. One of the funny things... You have these recurring nightmares. Yep. Yeah, tell us what they are. I get hauled off to jail for something I didn't do. And this is a recurring nightmare? Yes. And then you have another one, right, about clothes? Yeah, like I'm in a room, and I wake up, and I have all these piles of clothes all over the floor. And I start cleaning them, and they start multiplying. And then they're on the ceiling, and they're growing. And then they're on the ceiling growing. And the ones over here are growing. And I can't clean them, and they keep multiplying. Your dream of being arrested, it's the subconscious fear of losing it all. Yes, that happens. And the clutter dream, the clothes dream, that you worry about things getting out of order and not having control. That's pretty kind of obvious, isn't it? Yeah, definitely. Yeah. While you're performing, like let's say you're performing at the Grammys, or maybe even just something like you're just on the road, you're in Chicago. Those are two very different things. That's what I'm saying. Those are very different. Across the board. Okay, any performance. Have any of these things ever popped in your head mid-performance? Did I remember to turn off the stove? Maybe I'll order Chinese food for dinner. That's what it is. I wonder what Beyonce's doing right now. It's usually what am I going to eat? Oh, that girl has cute hair. Yeah, that, that, and what am I going to eat after the show? That's what I have to stop myself from being like, what did I eat? What am I going to eat now? Yeah. After this. I thought that I was just like supposed to feel like I was going to pass out at the end of a show or in the middle of it. I thought that was how it was. And now I realize, no, if you eat food, have energy, get stronger, you can do all these shows and not feel it. Is this a really nerve-wracking time for you? Almost every time for me is a nerve-wracking time for me because I will find the pressure in every situation and think about it. And my life has become sort of a constant balancing act between hope and fear and faith and worrying and being nervous about this album I've worked really hard on and being proud of this album I've worked really hard on. There are these rumors going around the Internet today that they're very creative saying that I'm pregnant, which is impossible and impossible. So it's so crazy when you spend your entire life and all of your energy trying to be a good person and trying to be a good role model and trying to make the right decisions and you make the right decisions, you make the right choices, and people make things up about you. It's a little offensive, honestly. I have devoted my entire life to not having something like that happen. It's really, really scary that someone can just say something and that it gets spread around the Internet. And all of a sudden it's a verified rumor with no grounds, with no evidence. I didn't do anything to provoke that. I'm sitting there thinking, what, did I wear the wrong shirt some day or what? I tend to get triggered by something, whether it's a picture of me where I feel like I looked like my tummy was too big or someone said that I looked pregnant or something, and that'll just trigger me to just starve a little bit, just stop eating. Finish this sentence if you could. In ten years I will be... Whoa, that's such a hard question. Really? It's like all my fears come out. Um... Like what? Like losing everything, like losing my friends and my family and ending up alone and crying and stuff. Meanwhile, I mean, I know that every award you get, you're so thrilled. In fact, it seems like you're so shocked every time you win something. And at this point I'm like, really? Taylor can't be that shocked. And we have all your sort of actually surprise Taylor faces. Don't show it to me. This will hurt my feelings. Do not show it to me. But you're always like... Give me your best Taylor surprise face. That's sort of just how I am, though. I just kind of get really excited about stuff. I'm... I don't know. Oh, your fans are like, I'm not criticizing her. So you decide you shouldn't be blossoming, you might as well be excited. I don't really decide anything. It just happens. I just get really happy and excited when I win awards because I just feel like that's something that's not going to happen to you forever. And it might not even happen to you ever again after this one time that they just called out your name. And so I just freak out. And I don't have any control over it, really.