Diaries Notes and Sketches: Walden 1969 經典老片場「筆記·日志·素描 瓦爾登」Notes for Jerome

Heaven was mine for a day. Made of a promise for a time when you drifted away. Everybody said they'd stand beside you when the game got rough. There's just another city I do believe I've heard enough. It was one of those long, hot, slow summer days when you sit around and you don't want to start anything. Mel brought some coffee beans with him, but we had no coffee pot in the house. So we collected all kinds of parts of all kinds of dishes, and Mel put a perfect coffee pot together. And we had the Colombian coffee. We thought we never had better coffee. Even Eben drank it, interrupting his broodings on unfinished drawings and scratchings and rubbings. We collected enough energy to go uptown with Mel driving. I was walking with somebody. Look, I said, we're just where we started. I seem to recognize this place from before. It's quite true, he said. We have been here, and we haven't. We are traveling to the same place, but on another level. where I am going. But there is still too much straight order of things and clarity. I keep getting the same numbers somehow. Not enough shuffling, and I have had enough of it. So I vomit out bits and fragments of words and grammars of countries I have passed through, shreds of geographies, shreds of brain, shreds of heart. Yeah, the man in the mood, Richie Havens, run Shaker Life. Shaker Life! In Vietnam, it was the Vietnamese people promised free elections, and they weren't allowed to have it in 1946 and also in 1956, but then they took the road of the battle for bullets to get what they couldn't get through the ballot. So the Socialist Workers' Party says that when the masses of black people or working people in America, both black and white, feel that they are tired of this system and that they want to change it, they should try to change it, and use any means necessary to change it, to take state power, create a socialist revolution. We are extremists. We're not out to reform, we are extremists. We want an extreme change in America. The Socialist Workers' Party. If you want to do good, and if to do that good, you have to do even a little bit of wrong. Don't do that good. Today, I went to Washington, D.C. It was raining, dark, damp. It's always raining when I go to Washington, I don't know why. So, I took a bus, and the streets and the parks were full of leaves. In the distance, I could see the Capitol Dome booming, but I stayed away, because I read in the papers that there was a crack in the Capitol Dome, and it may collapse any minute. So I continued to the Pentagon. The Pentagon building looked much safer. There, I shot the leaves, the grass, the puddles, the trees, and the generals and the guards stood all around me. What's the use shooting the puddles, the trees? Well, I like the puddles, I like the trees. I think the puddles, the trees, the grass are important. I think the puddles are important. I think they will be here when you will be gone. That's real good camera work. Probably the most unusual position a cameraman's ever had, hanging by his toes from a tunnel and taking a picture upside down. Roger, you're doing a super job. We got a good view of the cross corner there. We had a good view of the tape meter. I'm giving you a picture now of the floor of the cabin. I think you can see one of the two portable light support systems, backpacks, here in the center. And on each side, we have the two helmet visors. I'll remove one of them and show you a little closer view of what this looks like. Roger. Inside the helmet visors are the EVA gloves with the blue tips. I'll now take those out now. Roger, that's a great shot now that we're getting of the helmet, the EVA visor, and also the EVA gloves in the background. Roger, you did say this was going out now, didn't you? Stand by, I think so. You've got a pretty big audience that's live in the U.S. It's going live to Japan, Western Europe, and much of South America. Everybody reports very good color. Appreciate the great show. Roger, I understand. Thank you. Roger. You can have your EVA visor assembly. Appreciate it. Now I see him again. Hello there, everybody. Hello there. One day, Salvador Dali was walking along the Fifth Avenue, and he noticed an old shoe lying. One day, Salvador Dali was walking along the Sixth Avenue, and it was raining. One day, Salvador Dali was walking into the elevator, and he bumped his head. We ran. We ran. We ran. There was a tread. We saw. We got the tread. We saw it. Taylor and myself. There was a force working against us. There was a force. I felt my body. My throat. My body. Then my body was free. The woman was almost free. She is free. She is free. I shouted. The people, they were looking. They were looking. Then, it's then that I saw my friend. The ropes. The ropes. My friend. My friend. They were all around him. My friend. My friend. I shouted. My friend. My friend. He arrived suddenly. I saw him standing there. Suddenly, everything became unreal. Prepared. Staged. Ordered. There, I saw a glimpse of him posing. Striking his artificial pose. There he was. And the foams of the post-surrealist art began covering everything. Oh, Salvador Dali, what made you into a clown? Being away from the roots, from Spain. That's what made me into a clown. To destroy hearts. To suffer from mine. That is full of illusions. Since I met you. I lived on hamburgers and grilled cheese sandwiches. I thought I belonged to a generation who never eat enough. At least not of the things that I wanted to eat. And whenever I was in a situation that I could eat. I played a fool. On March 12th, Diane and myself, we boarded a plane for San Francisco. We were on a strange mission. Our aim was to bring Alan back to New York. San Francisco was enveloped in clouds of doom and gloomy mysticism. I walked across the park. Apple trees are all in bloom. I was thinking, it depends entirely on me. What I look at, what I am, what I do to my soul, to myself. Not to want anything. Gertrude's thesis, that the eye was formed in order that the light from within might meet the light from without. If I hear once more that... ...is the single person. That to destroy one person is to destroy a whole world. And to preserve one person is to preserve a whole world. Let us reform man. Let us teach him total abnegation. Self-sacrifice to the community. Perpetual sacrifice. Let's invent the revolutionary mode of force that would function constantly. The individual must be revolutionized. So that this transformed individual can revolutionize society. Now. Let the images run. And I wanted to touch the ground again. The earth. To walk barefooted. If not myself, then at least to somebody else. Oh, my foolish desires. My foolish desires to be close to earth again. To touch the ground. To be close to nature. In the middle of the city. Develop a mind that rests on nothing. Whatever written on my wall. I thought about my single frame fragmented reality. Nothing stable. My stable reality slowly disappearing. And the consciousness that thought it had a grip on things is becoming more and more open. With many, many centers. And only occasionally there are islands. Patches of green grass. The rest is being set in constant searching motion. In constant process towards something. I don't know what. Where. Why.