“The Didn’t Know..” - Neil Warnock Funny Football Stories 👀😂

No way I could have put up with him more than 18 months. It was summer's day the first day I went in and I always say, get your pads on, we'll have a game. A short, small-sided game, Alan. I used to see you, who pulled out of tackles, who didn't end a ball, all that lot. I thought, I'll get a good impression. So the guy who stood at the side of me, telling who they were, and he'd come to him and this guy, sunny day, got gloves on, a neck thing on, a warmer, long chuns on his bloody trousers. I said, who's that? He said, that's Terav Berghoff. You don't want to know about him. So what do you mean he went, he'll get you the sack? He got so much ability. Pulled him into me halfway like that, I can see his face now, in his gloves and all that. I said, Adele, people here say you will get me the sack. I said, well, you will play West Brom first game, top of the league. I said, you know West Brom Saturday? He answers, well, I'm going to play you. I said, and you know if you are, if you're bad? I said, I'm going to play you the following game. And you know if you're bad the second game? I'm going to play you the third game. And he's thinking, if I'm bad, I'm going to be playing. So after that first training session, I banned our defenders from passing to him in our half. Yeah. Because she'd go and get the ball off centre half. Not make somebody, not make somebody else then lose it and we'd have scored a goal. We paid 50 quid everybody, anybody that gave him the ball. And I used to fine him if he'd come in the half. But ability wise, Alan, he was the most skilful I've ever seen. He got us promotion. He was, he was just unbelievable. He went from us when I left and I said to him, you'll never have another, you'll never have another time like that because he wasn't disciplined enough. He got us 50 grand a week somewhere, Benfica or somewhere. And he's had a great contract without playing on. And he reckons that he's never been fitter now. He said to me last year, I'll come and play for you again. Yeah. And I text him back saying, I just haven't got enough migraine tablets to have you playing for me, Adele. Yeah. But he'll smash me for that. He was that good. Oh, he was unbelievable. We played at Cardiff and they had Boothroyd, Bellamy, all them playing. Yeah. Near the end, they were, they were going to catch us if they beat us. And they scored two goals. They were 1-0 up. And then, and then he, he did a bit of magic from a corner kicked. And he won it. Then Bellamy scored 2-1 and it looked bleak. And then just one bit of magic, 2-2. And that's when we knew we were going to get promotion. Went to, we used to go Scarborough pre-season. We went, we went up to Scarborough and I said to the lad, right, 20 quid in each. We go bowling alley. Whoever, whoever wins, you know, bowling alley. Tell them is that I'd worked in a bowling alley for two years and I had my own stuff. So we get to the bowling alley. I got my own ball out and my own cloth and everything and my shoes. You did? I did, aye. And I shot a 248, I think it was. And won all that. Took the money? Yeah, quite right. Oh, that's nasty. That wasn't illegal. That is nasty. It wasn't illegal, Alan. That's just, that bit of shrewdness, isn't it? Adele come to see me. Gaffer, I need to go home. Oh, what's the matter, son? He said, I need my best friend being shot. Bloody hell, that's more important. You get off home. So we go to Skunthorpe, get beat 4-0. And I've got Flavio on the phone. You know, he must go. The manager must go. He doesn't know what he's doing and, you know, and all this lot. So, because I spoke to Bernie, I said, Bernie, we've only got 10 games to go. You've got, I'm telling you, I'm the one that's going to get you up. Nobody else. I know I'm inside out. Forget that. So he said, oh, just ignore him, Neil. He said, you know, just ignore him. Somebody brings me a passport in. I said, what's this? A doll's passport. I said, where were we with that? In fact, we found it on the dressing room, on the floor in the dressing room. We were playing Barnsley on a Monday. He's in now. Right, I said, don't leave him. I said, go and see him. He's got a play on Monday. They got him up to Barnsley. I said, a dolly, terrible about you. Is your friend OK? Yeah, he's OK, a lot better. Oh, good. Do you want your passport, Maxon? He looked at me. I said, how did you get home? He went, I don't want to know. Don't want to know. You'd better score tomorrow, or I'm going to absolute hammer you. He scored within four minutes, and we never had a kick after that.