Moving to France: what life here is TRULY like

[Music] by [Music] today I'm in Paris where we're going to meet with Ariel she's originally from Canada and she moved to France eight years ago to study at the school of Journalism in Exon provance she then moved to Paris where she now lives with her French boyfriend and we are going to talk today about how she has experienced moving to France and building a life here I met Ariel because she has a wonderful YouTube channel called Ariel in Paris where she shares the best places in Paris and she also offers travel consultations to make a personalized itinerary for your trip to Paris so let's go and meet Arian now hi hi good to see you hi good to meet you you're so tall yeah well I'm Dutch wow so welcome yeah to the biggest covered Market in Paris it opened in 1850 1850 yes okay so it's almost 2 years old 175 but the reason I wanted to bring you here is because normally my favorite chocolate here has a stand here yeah who is the oldest chocolate here in Paris not him but the M um so I'll show you unfortunate cloes but I think it's fun to see okay yeah so I've never actually eaten here but I would really yeah I love it like they have tons of restaurants it's similar to the m oh I know that yeah yeah so normally he's there with his stand it's so sad okay so the name is f and I discovered them like probably a year ago he actually normally his Boutique is in the tent like right outside okay um and it's a Miz cha that's been open for 297 years which is the oldest in Paris wow um but with the pandemic he went through a lot of financial hardship he had to close his Boutique and so he opened here in the mar and he opens sporadically like three days out of the week very French yeah and you can find the opening hours online yeah on Instagram okay um yeah his chocolate is the best in Paris the G are so good but so actually what you're saying is we need to come back tomorrow and hope that he's open I said him a message I was like a are you open I need to bring someone to see you and we'll have to find another then yes yeah do you have any ideas yes I just oh my gosh I'm going to follow you I found a really nice on the street if I can find my way back I think back where we came in yeah so do that yeah and then we'll talk about what gal is actually because that's a very French thing [Music] so you just random away found this as you walking exactly oh my God and I thought this looks like a very nice that you go first [Music] we need to explain what what the sket is about it's a a Roman tradition and they would put a they would share a meal between the upper and lower class they would put a bean in the cake because the bean was symbolic of spring and the Harvest and rebirth and whoever got the piece of cake with the fev in it they got to be king for the day and they could order people around have whatever they wanted whoever gets the F gets to wear the crown you probably didn't click on this video to watch two girls eating a gallet DEA so let's talk about how we have both experienced moving to France and building a life here Ariel is taking me to the canal it was very windy this day so the audio could have been better but I'm hoping you find the things that we're sharing here helpful I remember when I first moved here this was the place to come for night life for picnics in the summer it's beautiful to really just enjoy a little sandwich or a coffee along here for a long time I would say it was a little bit underdeveloped it wasn't as hip and happening no because I remember when I came to Paris when I worked here 25 years ago it wasn't the place to be it's very vibrant very artistic and you have lots of bars restaurants Bakers a new take on Paris so it's like the locals would come here for me why I wanted to move here is I had this Vision like I fell in love with the language I fell in love with what I could see the sparkling Eiffel Tower all these romantic scenes set in Paris it just I it pulls you in so I think you have this mediatized France mediatized Paris and then when you live here you get to know like what's at the heart the real yeah the real side of the culture the people and my honest question was yeah do I see Paris or France differently being from Europe than you being from North America I think so you too I think so what was your version of the romanticized Paris well not Paris cuz I was drawn in France well it's everything that annoys me today like the admin system is so slow everything takes long but I keep reminding myself it's the same thing that Drew me here and that is a slower pace of life because I think because they have so many issues because the most used word what I say isli but because a lot of things just aren't as smooth efficient and fast as in the Netherlands but then that is exactly what drew me here because what I've seen is that the French have developed this attitude of yeah we can't change it anyway just let's have a drink sit down and enjoy life we do not have in the ne one everything is so fast that you're so used to getting things organized and fixed yeah that you're not even able to have any patience with anything that's what Drew meh I I think it's very similar but different from maybe Canada North America is when I think of what images I first saw Paris it's the B strolling out with the baguette going and sitting on a teras uh you know sitting on the Shawn Mar and looking at the Eiffel Tower like f is what you would say in French and I think it's that kind of version of a slow paced idyllic lifestyle that we would see in the media from Canada that was what attracted me to France and to Paris as well but different because you still have like in the Netherlands at least in the small years I've been or Europe in general you do have the teras you do have the local shops whereas you see that as a European thing yeah I think so because one of the things I think you're officially not allowed to eat in your car behind the wheel in France and I don't see a lot of people maybe here in Paris but where I live nobody's walking with our coffee to go and so it's a moment you take to sit down like whenever there's food involved it's a moment I almost want to say yeah you said that you were drawn to All Things French as a kid I've been thinking about this yeah and that you asked or that your parents put you in a French speaking School in Canada so how old were you then so young maybe four or five see so I was wondering what what attracts a four-year-old in a culture of a country she's probably never been to I don't know I was just so it just sounded beautiful to me I think so you grew up bilingual friend English basically and then at some point you decided to come here when I was in um Middle School they offered like an exchange a 3-we exchange with the French family yeah and I begged my parents to let me go and then you moved here for your studies so how have you found the real friends I would say to be different the thing is I come from Canada I come from Toronto I did my studies in Ottawa like one of the biggest differences I think I find is that you have this need for urgency and need for made everything everything needs to be go right now so when you go to the grocery store I remember this was one of the hardest things not hardest I don't want to say that but I came the lines at the checkout no oh cuz I was gonna say that like everybody's just chilling and everybody like it takes too long and we dressing well that I feel like you get you get used to over time it is definitely annoying but um I remember I couldn't find Caesar salad dressing for years and I was so annoyed because I'm like what in Toronto I just go and pick up the Caesar Sal dressing it's in a bottle in the fridge for me or chicken noodle soup it's in the fridge pre-made and uh and then I was like well why don't you just make it and so I think that in France you don't have this notion of right now I need this I want everything pre-made you have more of a slow down take your time make it with quality products it's become kind of a lifestyle really to take time for things I actually really enjoy that like I said waiting in the line at the checkout my sons when we came here were very surprised to have 2 hours for the lunch break that would be 20 minutes in the Netherlands but I think that's one of the things we do love about France right when I was working uh you know at an office job I had 10 to 12 weeks of vacation and not only did I have that much vacation I was encouraged to take that vacation the office closed in August whereas when I think about the work culture that I grew up with in Canada and North America you might have two or three weeks and you're not encouraged wow it's impressive if you don't take that because you're committed and see so that is different with the Netherlands because we have five weeks six sometimes paid vacation I I always work for American companies so I got the strict minimum so that is not such a big cultural difference I think I think the biggest cultural difference that I have experienced that that was a bit difficult at the beginning it's just the social norms like in the Netherlands people tend to be pretty open they talk to everybody here I know somebody said this on somebody else on YouTube I don't remember who it was that being polite in French in France means that you're keeping the right distance because if I don't know you yet I'm not going to be like you and I we see each other for the first time we go like hi that the friends would go like what are you doing and and and I every time I meet a new person so it's always like a guess what are we doing you know or sometimes you get introduced to a friend's friend you know you don't know and they if and then they go kiss you and you go like oh oh so so what I find interesting is that they do laa pretty easily yes which I find way more intimate than a hug but the hug to them is like what are you doing so I think those social norms it's something that I always tell the people if you're coming here just please do some research and to understand that for a French person they're being polite by not asking about your personal life by not inviting you to their home by not hugging you to them means they're respectful towards you and in my culture and I think especially in North American culture that would be distant or rude for me it was always very frustrating with my friends at the start to really get to that deeper level of a real friendship I always felt like I was the one reaching out first inviting people over to my place and but for me the easiest way is uh to join something to join something where you are forced to see people mult multiple times a week so for me that was basketball I was forced to see my teammates three times a week two practices and one game and over the course of time you know you go for a drink after the game and then a drink after a practice and you build the relationship over time yeah but it really has to be something I feel where you sign up and everybody is forced to take that break in their schedule my Approach has been I will just be respectful I know the code I would say in in French culture I'll be open but I'll let them take the first step and I've noticed also that people are very interested in my family because they see we're Dutch even my boys and they had friends very easily because they were like oh here are these Dutch boys so there's also a positive side to being the Foreigner I think because people are interested in where you're from but like especially when we are what why would you come move here and so that was an easy way for me actually to connect with people and and make friends the real friends I made are through the activities that are linked to either my work or other things that I do and I would say and I think you said the same thing learn French my neighbors actually I asked this question I said but why why do you struggle so much with speaking English what is the real issue and he said we would love to invite you but if we feel we need to speak English it it just freaks us out so we rather avoid it doesn't mean we're not interested in you but it's so interesting to have that honest that honest answer that honest like feedback it was helpful because it also tells you like if you want to make this a success and a lot of people that are following you and me are thinking about coming to France and just yeah start with learning the language you don't need to be fluent because they relax as soon as you say bonjour whatever your name is and you maybe try to get out a few sentences but then they relax instantly because they feel that you're try is what I've noticed but then again you were fluent when you came I was fluent when we came so you're able to have a real conversation about real things because the friends love to talk about everything like on a very deep I love that because I like that they can have a real honest conversation and disagree on things I love that actually have strong opinions how have you yeah how have you experienced that uh I would say definitely I think it's again it's hard I'm thinking like what would I have done if I didn't speak the language you know how would I have made it work but it's true like that is the key to having those conversations um and not just like of course if you're moving here it's important to learn but then I think of you know the chefs that I've met that I've interviewed the store owners that I met to be able to hear their stories and understand them and have those those strong conversation and moments it's yeah is so it's so like language is the key to culture you know so the other thing I wanted to talk about that you're a business owner I'm a business owner I see huge differences because I think a lot of people that want to move to France one of the things is how we going to make money yeah and I think salaries are very low outside of Paris I think it's very fulfilling to be able to start a business but I do think there are some Logistics to think about for example renting buying you need to have a CD yeah CD is a contract yes an indeterminate a permanent contract an employment contract yes exactly so if you want to get housing you usually need a couple of things that you usually don't have yeah because like you probably need an address first before you can get your employment contract right yes the C thing yeah so to go back to the entrepreneurial thing I find friends I don't want to be I didn't want this video to be negative in any sense because ah and then it would just be a a proof that we've become very French because as we say which means they complain and this probably is something about the culture that you would also need to understand when you come here the French just love to complain because it is actually part of the the culture I think the Revolutionary this probably to me was the biggest thing that I did not expect about France because we have this picture of they enjoy life and they take time so you see them as people that are positive and but then you come here and actually the French are very pessimistic they don't have the necessarily every day in their in their energy and I did not expect that and do you feel like that changed you it does I was just saying that to my French friend I said actually I've become more negative so I'm really working on myself on staying the optimistic joyful person that I was because you just you get infected almost by the energy you start taking on that that same Vibe but nonetheless it would not make me leave France for that reason but it is something to be to be mindful of I think but the what I so if I can allow myself to is that when I started my business here I was so shocked with how different the government is here towards your initiative of trying to make money for this country or your initiative to make something Thrive so the the the the what's the word the tone in every communication that you receive here is now that you've started your business you need to do this otherwise you get a fine it's it's like in the Netherlands it's like hey congratulations started your business wow let make you as successful as you can be it's one of the biggest shocking things to me you live in a Perpetual state of anxiety because you're like what document am I missing what have I forgotten to renew like always and I remember my first year starting my business because mine is my business is fairly new I must have blacked it out because it was so traumatic like it was a year of very being very stressful because like if you make a mistake you have to pay again and file all the paperwork again and so very quickly it's timec consuming and cost so it's hard to understand the system for sure um well I've been here six years and I have a very good french accountant yes I still don't get it she goes I know and then she says but it changes every year so and then for somebody with a lot of experience in business that's frustrating because I think you know I kind of know how things work and that I don't think that's the same in North America either which be like they want you to thrive they want you to make mistakes they and here in France I think it's both in in that area but I see it in school with my boys as well like making a mistake is like the biggest sin I think it's I think it's empathy I think there's a little bit less empathy for human error human mistakes whereas in Canada it's people are generally much more patient I I remember even when I was applying for my visas it was Insanity like similar to the business everything had to be the original copy nothing could be transmitted via email via PDF like it was so much work whereas less lenient I think is what I I'm thinking yeah what would we want to tell people you come to France and your life will be great which it will be great it will be great but it doesn't miraculously solve all your problems it actually adds a few problems like I said with entrepreneurship like I really struggle with understanding how it works and you're coming from the just yes you imagine visas no I don't yeah I have a couple of friends that are trying yeah and that's ridiculous actually thinking because I'm from the European Union I can come even without speaking French I can just come buy a house and move here so why talk a little bit about that then uh my very first Visa it was a very complicated process it was before technology so that's when I was sending in like I was having to do everything the original copies I I don't I don't want to lie it was very hard to get all the documents together and to meet deadlines but in the end I kind of want to say nothing good comes easy yeah so even if it does take work even if it's very stressful if it you know if there's moments where you feel like it's very challenging in the end you know if you persevere it'll it'll be worth it like yeah I would I would never regret having moved here I would never regret the months I spent doing paperwork um and you would have hard things in the Netherlands I would have hard things in Canada sometimes honestly despair I go like I don't know if I can deal with this any longer I want I came here for a quieter life yeah and I did not expect that so many little things would be so so much harder quite honestly but then I try to say to myself yeah but really if you go back to the Netherlands there are also hard things so we shouldn't forget that you know even though we struggle here we struggle everywhere you always take yourself everywhere you go you always take your personal struggles everywhere you go and I would not go back would you no I don't I don't want to say that because my mom will it'll break her heart but oh yeah uh no I I love what I built here and there's so many beautiful things about living here that I wouldn't want to give that up I think it gets even better when you dig deeper and you get to know people and you get to know the richness of the culture exactly it's like a it's like an iceberg that's what I wanted to say you know you have what you see on the outside and there's and then when they let you into the culture you start understanding you also start seeing why things that seemed a bit odd initially are actually good thing like respecting the other person and so we're going to say to you if you want to move to France we survived we're thriving we're thriving so by all means come here but be prepared that would be the bottom line I think learn French don't assume things are the same in your country or in your culture be very open to learn say bonjour it's a good start and learn French and I would say be patient and not everything is the end of the world you know you make a mistake give it time yeah you need time to learn to adapt ah you can see like as we're filming there are people who are FL along the canal that is yeah because so many people are just walking here and enjoying enjoying a lot we should go enjoy a good french lunch what do you say I would love that okay do [Music] it thank you so much Ariel for sharing all of your experience in this video and for the lovely morning that we spent together if you don't follow Ariel yet I highly recommend you do her channel is called Ariel in Paris and I've left a link in the description thanks for watching and I will see you next week with a new video