another brand that knows NOTHING about climbing...

Everybody loves a bad ad. There's nothing funnier than a terribly designed ad campaign. But what happens when you mix a bad ad with rock climbing? The OG natural sports drink that has the B vitamins to help you power up and up and up. Got milk. I bet you didn't see that one coming. That's right, milk makes you so strong that you'll be climbing over your auto belay. For those of you that don't get the reference, you should never climb above an auto belay. That's it, you just don't do that. I also find it funny, it's like milk is good and it's great for protein recovery and stuff like that. But I wouldn't know if I would call it a sports drink. I think of sports drink as something you drink while you're working out. I'm not gonna be pounding milk in the middle of a climbing session. That would be disgusting. I'm just thinking of like a hot day outside and you just got like a gallon of milk with you sitting out in the sun while you're climbing. It's so damn hot. Milk was a bad choice. Bad breath, we got you covered. Listerine. This person, their breath is so bad that they have to freeze solo. They can't even find a belay partner. When scaling a rocky wall this high, all you should worry about is your next step in holding on to your grip. I can't tell if these are fake or not because like my instinctual reaction is, this is clearly a joke, but they're on somebody's portfolio as like a graphic designer and they have a bunch of them. Bad breath, we've got you covered. Accidents happen, but don't let bad breath get in the way of someone trying to help out. You don't wanna be a smelly dead guy. Everybody knows that. I mean, that's just obvious. Like these have to be a joke. I feel like they either have the most unironic sense of humor or they're just secretly a genius. Cooking from scratch. Click the link below for a discount. Followed by speed climbing. This is a HelloFresh ad. What are you doing? HelloFresh is like a legit brand. They have decent ads. I don't know what this is. I feel like this is like a summary of the common attention span nowadays where like you can't even have an ad about the thing you're selling. You have to like show speed climbing in the background while advertising HelloFresh. He's also not even speed climbing. Like their speed climbing holds on either side. Just get a speed climber next time. Maybe HelloFresh knows viral marketing better than I don't. And maybe some people get really hungry when they watch this. They're like, man, really worked up an appetite watching that guy climb up on a down climb holds. Do you feel too weak on the climbing wall? Do you wanna up your finger strength? Try climbing with some added weight. Dog weirdly doesn't look that upset. The dog looks pretty happy. I guess this isn't his first rodeo. My question is, how does the dog top out? I've never seen a dog's top out technique at the top of a long climb. I'm curious what it would end up looking like, but I don't really have a problem with this one to be honest. The rock climbing dog community, it just doesn't get enough respect. Okay, there's nothing wrong with dogs who like to rock climb from time to time. Sure, they don't make the best belay partners, but it's impossible to be in a bad mood while they're around. So, you know, you gotta weigh the pros with the cons. All right, scenario. You're up on the wall. You're about halfway up your project. Gumbees all around you. They're throwing rocks. They're yelling. They're playing loud music. Just being a general nuisance. How do you take care of them? Well, this ad has the answer. Tactical flashlight, check. CCO, check. Suppressor, check. They will never even hear you coming. As much as I wanna make fun of this ad, we actually did train stuff like this in the army, so it's like, it's not that unrealistic. Although, I never got a suppressor. What the hell, army? I guess I just wasn't important enough to ever get to use a suppressor. Although, I did have an ACOG instead of a garbage CCO, so I still win. I do like the suppressor, though. It's a nice added touch. The Gumbees will never hear you coming, which is a perfect segue for this video's sponsor, Raycon. I got a pair of Raycon everyday earbuds about three years ago. They still work great. The case isn't even scuffed. I've dropped this thing like 200 times. No issues. Check this out, though. A little extra bonus feature. That actually scared the shit out of me the first time I opened them, because I thought the porn I was about to watch had already started playing. I got a little spooked. Don't worry. They do that every time. And you can do anything in these bad boys. You can... They're not coming out. You can do anything in these bad boys. You can run. You can jump. And, dare I say it, you can even rock climb. Like I said, I've had these for like three years. I still use them. I love them, because they have the same audio quality as the other top dogs in the earbud game. It's a brutal business, a cutthroat business. They're always battling it out. But they're like half the price. Scenario. You're belaying for your buddy, and he just won't stop talking, just saying annoying stuff like climbing, take. You don't want to hear it anymore. You put these bad boys in. They have noise-isolating technology. You won't hear a thing. So now you can get back to the things that truly matter. Raycon offers buy now, pay later options, two-year product protection, free domestic shipping, a free return guarantee, and over 50,000 five-star reviews. So click the link in the description box, or go to buyraycon.com slash crag to get 15% off your Raycon purchase. So this one's an underwear ad for a brand called Paul Smith Underwear. And it really just doesn't make any sense. Like it starts off, you know, they're rock climbing, climbing up this mountain, and you're like, oh, like, where's the underwear? I guess they're wearing the underwear. You just can't see it. Which is how underwear's supposed to be. But unfortunately, that does not continue because they get to the top and they strip down to their fresh Paul Smith underwear where they start doing some slacklining in the freezing mountains in their underwear. This dude drags his nearly bare sack across the slackline. I guess they're showing off how durable the underwear is. I guess the main question of this is, well, why couldn't she just use other underwear? Why do you have to use the Paul Smith, the slacklining underwear? Like if anything, they should've had, after this guy takes this whipper here, they should've had him strip down and show that he had just shit himself. And there's like no streaks. And he's like, look at that. With Paul Smith underwear, you'll never see streaks. Nothing will ever escape these bad boys. He just like holds it up and it's like a sagging diaper. So stupid. Alex Honnold with a very honest guidebook review. I mean, I don't really use guidebooks, but this looks good. By Alex Honnold. Why did he even put that on there? I guess like if that's the most glowing endorsement that Alex Honnold could give, I feel like afterward they were printing it out and they're like, did we pay him for this? I guess for comparison, if he doesn't really use guidebooks and he still went out of his way to say this one looks good, it's not gonna get any better than that. Do you have student debt? Well, rise above it with earnest because rock climbers make so much money. Really the best way to take care of those pesky student loans. Just get out and get out there and start rock climbing. I'm not gonna lie, I don't hate this one. I'm actually kind of a fan of this one. I would 100% do this. You know, sometimes you're on the wall for a long time. You know, if I want to put on a YouTube video or something like that, watch it while I climb. I got no problem with it. What if you forget beta? Forget the beta. You just watched your buddy do it. Film him. You got the beta right there on your hand. Not that big of a deal. I don't know. I don't have an issue with this one. Speaking of belay partners, are you looking for a belay partner of your own, but you just can't meet anybody? Well, it turns out you can just make one. It's fun. It's easy. And everybody's doing it. That's right. This guy made his own belay partner and he's never been happier. This one's even accompanied by a beautiful poem. Whip, deck, zoom. This kid is going to the moon. So this one, everybody's already been making fun of. Barbie made a Tokyo 2020 Olympics climbing version of Barbie. And the main thing people are making fun of are the little flaws, you know, when like the harness, right? The carabiners open, stuff like that. There's a little nitpicky from my taste. Like it's a toy. It has to be functional. They're not going to put actual opening and closing carabiners. They want you to be able to like hook it on and play with it. The harness straps aren't double back, which I guess is a huge problem. I actually think the Barbie's cool. I might get one. Rock climbing Barbie. Let's see what comes up. They have it. Barbie Olympic games, Tokyo. Barbie Olympic games, Tokyo 2020 sport climber doll with uniform. Tokyo 2020 jacket, metal, harness, weight and climbing clips for ages three and up. Wait, what does it mean metal? Did Barbie, does it come with a gold medal? It does. She comes with a gold medal. Officially confirmed the Yangya Garnbret Barbie. I mean, I obviously, I have to buy this. I have to own this. Is it weird for grown men to own Barbies? I feel like it's normal. Look at that. That's so cool. Buying it right now. I need this bad boy as soon as possible. As ASAP Barbie, I need you here now. It's done. We got the Barbie. We secured our Tokyo 2020 Barbie. That'll be worth money someday. I'm a hundred percent sure of it. One day later. First thing when I woke up this morning, found this bad boy on my porch, just waiting to be opened up. The Yangya Garnbret climbing Barbie. Tokyo 2020 edition. Gold medal, sport climbing, escalade, some other languages that I cannot read. The only problem is it doesn't really fit anywhere. So I guess it can go up high. Can you even see it up here? Not really. Sorry, HTC Vive, you get covered up by Barbie. Now, Christmas came a little early for me this year, but that's not the case for most people. For everybody else in the world, Christmas only comes one time a year. Now, I don't know about you, but when I was a kid, I always used to go to the mall to find Santa on Christmas. I always had to ask Santa for my presents and Santa was always kind of boring. I'd show up, he was sitting in a chair, never doing anything that cool. He was just some guy with a big white beard. Never really excited me. But this Santa took his job of advertising Christmas very seriously. So he decided to do, was rappelling to the mall to surprise all the kids from above. Now, at first glance, it looks like Santa's doing a pretty good job and then he just kind of stops halfway down and you're like, what's happening to Santa? I'm sure all the kids, I don't know if any, he just flails around. All the kids are like, what's going on with Santa? Why did he stop? His beard got tangled. It's so funny. He's really not that funny. And this is why we can't have nice things. Santa just has to sit there because anytime Santa gets up and tries something new, something like this happens. I want to know how he got down. Like he's just stuck up there. So let's all take a moment of silence for this brave Santa who tried to be different, tried to do things differently and make Christmas a little more exciting. Next ad. Now this next one, it really bothered me. This one really got under my skin because I show up to the crag like this all the time. But for some reason, when I do it, nobody gives a shit. When this person does it, they get all this attention and they get reposted all over the internet. That being said, I actually have no idea if this is even an ad or not. I guess like, are they trying to sell rope or something? I don't know. I just found it. It was a funny picture. Half these haven't even been ads in the first place. Cut me some slack, all right? There's not that many ads about rock climbing. I ran out of content like five minutes ago. But not all rock climbing ads are bad. There's actually some good rock climbing ads out there. And surprisingly, they're not all for rock climbing gear. Some of them are for random other things like a lot of these have been and they actually work pretty well. You can do it. Come on guys. Don't give up. You're almost there. Throw that shoulder and mantle. Who are they? It's my network. This was like the only example I could find of any like good ad that has rock climbing in it. It's funny. It's relatable. The guy tells them to mantle using actual climbing terminology. I'm sure that they looked up like one word, but either way, it's pretty accurate. And even then, if you really dig into it and you're like, those are some of the gears on wrong or they're tied in wrong. It still makes the ad work because the whole point is that they're bad. They're the bad cell service trying to keep up with them. Or his service can't keep up because he's such a strong boulder, bro. He's such a good climber. He got to the top. His cell service can't keep up with them. Then Verizon comes walking through. They already sent the proj. I also found this behind the scenes footage of it. It's really not that interesting. I like finding stuff that other people don't find. All right. But I just thought it was cool. They showed that when the one dude falls, he lands on like the crash pad. I don't know. Now I'm sure a lot of you have heard of a climbing helmet before, right? Those things you put on your head. So when little rocks go boop, boop, boop on your head, they don't hurt you, but you don't really wear them when you're bouldering. So what exactly is a bouldering helmet? Well, this ad is here to show you exactly what that is. I actually think this is probably one of the better ads I've seen for rock climbing gear, just calling a beanie a bouldering helmet. Although it needs to be a little more specific because a beanie is an outdoor bouldering helmet. It's not a universal bouldering helmet because we all know the indoor bouldering helmet is the flat bill. Advertising climbing gear can be difficult. There's tons of different stuff. Some of them just do the same thing. Some of them do completely different stuff. How do you advertise climbing gear effectively? Well, this person figured out the perfect way to advertise your regular old brass climbing nut. Now I got to say, this is still a little bit amateur hour here. I mean, I do this all the time, you know, when my boys and I'm leading, they want to follow, you know, I'll stick a... It's such a stupid joke. There's actually a not safe for work version of this that somebody else did. Obviously can't show that here, but needless to say, it's a thing. So those are all of our bad ads for today. Thanks for watching everybody. And thanks to Just Bomber Gear, which is the Instagram page where we stole 90% of these from. Now like and subscribe or you'll end up like the guy in this ad.