Why owning multiple coffee mugs is ruining your life! (New research!)

Have you ever bought something thinking that it was going to make you happy? And you know, I mean, maybe it did for a short period of time, but ultimately it didn't satisfy. We hear that phrase like stuff doesn't make us happy, but why is that? Today, I'm going to share two powerful lessons, huge mindset shifts that are going to make you look at every single item in your home completely differently. Well, hi, I'm Dawn from The Minimal Mom, and our family has lived as minimalists for almost 10 years now. And it's really interesting because some think it's super extreme, a little out there. Often I'll hear the phrase, well, I want to simplify into clutter, but I don't want to go that far. Which I get because you might not yet understand these two principles that are so powerful. So today we're going to talk about the hierarchy of needs and why once a need is met, further meeting the need brings no further satisfaction. In fact, it actually brings us backwards down the pyramid, but also this idea of diminishing returns. This has been so profound. I haven't actually talked about this before, but it just hit me as I've been staying at this little cabin with just the bare necessities and how enjoyable it actually is. And if you will understand this, decluttering your house is going to be a breeze. All right, I just got the fire going. So let's talk about this idea of diminishing returns first. This is so powerful. So the concept of diminishing returns says that with each new item that we accumulate, we have less satisfaction or enjoyment from it. Now, if we look around our homes, some will estimate that we have over 300,000 items in our homes. It's no wonder that this stuff is bringing us very little joy anymore because we have accumulated so much. And I also think there has been such a decrease in the enjoyment of the little things that we've gotten desensitized to the regular enjoyment of life. Like the first sip of coffee that you take in the morning or taking a nap in front of a fireplace. Like, is there anything better? I also have a heated blanket that I put on the bed. And especially when it's like really cold here in Minnesota, I will turn it on about an hour before we go to bed. And it not only heats up the blanket then, but it heats up the mattress. And so crawling into a warm bed and then pulling up a good fiction book on my phone, it is like the best feeling ever. But for many of us, because we are surrounded with so much stuff and so much input and just all of this chaos all around us, we don't find the same pleasure or enjoyment from these little things. And I think that's why minimalism is often misunderstood. Because on one hand, it can look extreme and sparse and bare and like we're just intentionally depriving ourselves. For what reason? But I think what I maybe haven't done a good job articulating before is that the reason is that we remove all this extra stuff and clutter that is adding no enjoyment, which we'll talk about again in a minute with the hierarchy of needs. We're removing that. And now these very simple pleasures are so exponentially enjoyable again. And that's why you would come to a cabin like this, right? That has just the bare necessities. It does not even have running water, right? They have bougie outhouses here, but there's no indoor... They have nice shower houses too, but no indoor plumbing. You have to bring water in. You have to heat it. If you want some warm water, go outside in the cold to go to the bathroom. And it does not even feel like a sacrifice at all because it is so enjoyable to be surrounded by just the things you need. By a warm fireplace, to be surrounded by nature, to go out for walks if it's not too cold out, to the deer. You should have seen all the deer that were down here just earlier this morning. And it's like your senses and your appreciation are alive and open and receptive to all of this. And what's hard is that we often have difficulty experiencing this in our own homes because it's so like chicken and egg. Do I take the risk of getting my home highly decluttered, trusting that what Dawn is saying is going to be right and that there really is going to be this awesome reward on the other side? Or do I just kind of keep doing what culture says I should keep doing? Keep accumulating all the things and trying different stuff. Because if your current stuff isn't making you happy, then probably you just have to try different stuff, right? But we know, we know at the core of our beings that this has not been working. You're a very smart individual. You might be frustrated with your stuff right now, but you're smart. Like if you look back over the last 5, 10, 15 years, have these things made you happy? When you have bought them thinking like, oh, this is going to be so good. This is going to be the thing. Was it actually the thing? Or can you look back and just see this trail of regret and poor purchases and disappointment and disillusionment and like, oh, they got me again, right? That's what it was like for me. None of this stuff truly satisfied. And so is it possible that as you highly simplify and declutter, that you too will begin to enjoy all of these simple pleasures and the stuff? I don't even think about the stuff anymore. The stuff becomes so inconsequential. You keep the things that truly matter. We'll also talk at the end about like, I'm not making life harder. Microwave? Yes. I mean, I know that's a little controversial. Washing machine? Yes. I think we can all agree on that, right? We'll talk about that a little bit more too. I'm not making life harder, but finding pleasure in all these small things again, man, it is so good and it makes life so rich. Okay. And again, this idea that minimalism is not roughing it. There is something I will not compromise on, and that is a really great mattress. And so today's video is sponsored by Helix Sleep, where their new year sale is going on right now. So you can save 25% off your own Helix mattress and get two free pillows when you go to helixsleep.com backslash minimal mom. And it's the beginning of a new year and many of us have new goals and resolutions, but you need a great night's sleep to be able to get that. So Tom and I have had our Helix mattress for over three years now. We love it. And all of the mattresses in our home, our parents' home, our grandma's house have been upgraded as well. Now, every body is different and Helix knows that. So they came up with the Helix Sleep Quiz. You just go online and take their sleep quiz. And if you have a partner, have them take it with you too. And they're just going to ask you a few questions like what sleep position do you normally sleep in? What firmness do you prefer? And do you ever wake up with back pain or do you ever get a little overheated when you're sleeping? Now Helix has their Glaciotex cooling cover that is built right into the mattress. So Tom and I are side and stomach sleepers and we prefer our mattress just a little bit more on the firm side. So we were matched with the Helix Dusk Luxe. And once you're paired with your perfect mattress, then it comes conveniently rolled up in a box and shipped right to your door. Shipping is free in the US and you're going to bring it in, let your mattress take shape, and then you get the Helix Sleep Guarantee. 100 nights to sleep on your mattress. Test it out and make sure that it's just the right fit for you. And if not, don't worry. Helix will take care of exchanging it for you. And then beyond that, you also get a 10-year warranty. And did you know that the Helix lineup offers over 20 unique mattresses, including their award-winning Luxe and Ultra Premium Elite Collections? Also the Helix Plus, a mattress designed for big and tall sleepers, and the Helix Kids mattresses designed for growing bodies and endorsed by child sleep and medical experts. And right now you can save 25% off your own Helix mattress and get two free pillows. So just visit helixsleep.com or use the link down below. And you are going to sleep awesome. You are going to get your house decluttered. We're going to experience more joy and happiness in the new year. I'm telling you, this is going to be so good. I mean, for real, you do you when it comes to the microwave. I'm not getting into that debate. But let's talk a little bit about the hierarchy of needs, because this is huge. So we have our hierarchy of needs or hierarchy of happiness, and it has these different levels to it. And so this is a model that it's just one way, one suggestion of how humans achieve happiness, fulfillment, satisfaction in their lives. But here's what is continually so fascinating to me is that the only place, the only place that you will find physical items in this pyramid of happiness, of how we get to happiness, is on the very base level, the base level of our physiological needs, which are food, water, shelter. We need clothing. I am not arguing with that, right? We need food. We need shelter. We need a mug to drink our coffee from. Absolutely. But here's what is so fascinating about this is that once these base needs are met, you got the clothes, the coffee mug, the shelter, trying to further meet them with more or fancier things does not bring more satisfaction. You will see a short increase. You buy the new car, right? For a week, it's fun. You feel good. And then it wears off and we go right back to the same baseline satisfaction that we had before. Same with clothes, hair and makeup products, dishes, home decor. It feels good, right? That's why we do it. We get the dopamine rush. We're like, oh yeah, that feels so good. But ultimately we come back to the base level of satisfaction because continuing to meet needs that are already met with more clothes, more mugs, more houses, like whatever, it does not bring any more satisfaction because it doesn't move us up the pyramid. So you, I mean, I have to imagine you've had this thought too. Why doesn't? We hear stuff doesn't make you happy. Why not? It's sold. We spend our whole lives trying to accumulate stuff. We're sold stuff all the time. So much energy and money goes into selling new stuff. Why does it bring happiness? Because once the need is met, further meeting the need does not move us up the pyramid, which therefore does not bring any further level of satisfaction. Now, as you move up, we need love, relationships. There's a little controversy about what's at the top. I ultimately think at the top is helping others. It's self-actualization. So it looks different for everybody, but it's becoming like your full self, who you were meant to be, finding meaning, right? But why do so many of us fail to get there? Because we are bogged down in this base level with all of this crap in our homes. And again, though, I'm not getting down on you, because you're just doing what we've been taught to do, right? We're marketed to, this is what culture says, like we are just doing all the things that we do. And it really does take a lot of courage and bravery to say, this isn't working. I'm going to go against the norm and the grain, and I'm going to get rid of all of my stuff, perfectly good stuff. I understand that fully, right? It does not make logical sense, often to our own brains, let alone to others. But again, if we can look at this scientifically, I mean, we can see this. Once a need is met, continuing to try and meet that same need is a fool's errand. And so if you have felt frustrated with your stuff, the state of your home, you've wondered why you buy something new and it's just a short blip of happiness, this is why. There's nothing wrong with you. And isn't it interesting how going to a place like this, where you have just the bare necessities and no running water, how it feels right. Our soul just sighs and you look around and you're like, there's so little to do and manage here. That's how we were meant to live. That's how we can start moving up the pyramid. We can sit at the table by the window and dream and think about things like meaning and what we would love to do with our lives. There's space for that. In a space like this, it feels like there is hope and possibilities. It's remarkable. And again, sometimes I have a hard time putting words to it even, because it doesn't always make sense to us. Because we've been trained for so long that stuff is valuable. Don't get rid of stuff. Stuff has value. Keep it for someday, just in case. Hang on to that. And for many of us, it was ingrained. That's what being a good steward is. That's what being wise with our finances is. And so again, I understand. And that's why I'm not getting down on you at all. I understand how our house has got to be how they are. I'm just simply inviting you to a different way of living, if you're interested, where you might find a little more happiness and satisfaction. At least that has been my experience. And I actually hear from a fair number of others, of you too, that it's been your experience as well. So now I know I'm not alone. So an invitation to let go of all of this stuff and to start to experience some of this happiness that we are all worthy of experiencing. But I also said, we are not going to make life harder. That is not what minimalism is all about. So let's talk about that for a minute too. Okay, now this line is different for everyone, but I have no interest in going off grid. I love that this cabin has electricity. It has heat and lights, a cozy fireplace, but the line is different. So like, I mean, we still enjoy camping and all of that, but like in a camper, right? Like I actually have no desire to rough it. I think that there are so many cool inventions and conveniences that we have, like washing machines and phones and computers and microwaves. It's just knowing where that line is of, yes, this thing makes my life better and easier. But again, when I get too many of them, or it's not the right fit, or I fall prey to marketing, it gets to this other point where it's not actually adding value. And that's when it becomes clutter. So again, I think sometimes with minimalism, it's kind of confused with like roughing it or somehow living in a sacrificial way that just makes life harder. That is not what I'm advocating at all. And I believe that we do each get to find the line for ourselves. I know there was a comment on a recent video and something to the effect, I'm gonna, I'm not gonna say it super well, but something to the effect of like, well, I think we should all make our own food and can and garden and all that. And I think, I'm very careful to use the word should anymore, because I have canned and done some of those things. And like, I'm glad I can say I did it and I know how to do it. I have no desire to can salsa and spaghetti sauce anymore. And for others, they're like, yeah, I want to get my house decluttered so I can do those things. And so what I love about minimalism is that, again, clearing out all of this physical clutter that is adding no value to our life because our base needs are already met, clearing that out. Now we all have this feeling of possibilities and freedom and autonomy. Autonomy being like the ability to like, I want to go this direction now. No, this came up in life. I need to go this direction. This feeling like we can pivot when need be, or we can follow dreams and passions and like those actually really cool things in life. And so that is a very unique journey for each of us. So again, I don't like putting the word should on everyone. Should you be a minimalist? No, only if it benefits you. Only if you believe it's going to help you move up the pyramid and you're going to experience more joy and happiness from it, then yes. But if not, then no. Don't, please don't. That's not what I'm selling, right? And so we each get to decide for ourselves, if I did have a free weekend, do I want to go up to a little cabin in the woods and hang out there for a while? Do I want to go back to school? Do I want to help others? Do I want to start this organization? Do I want to step back from my job and not have to work so much? It's just so cool how all of a sudden we feel like there are possibilities again. And that, I think that level of freedom getting there, I'm not sure exactly what stage on the pyramid that is. But again, I often feel like it's hard because we don't experience it until we've done the hard work and get our home decluttered. So there is some risk involved in the beginning. Like I know, I remember, I mean, I remember getting rid of perfectly good things. And there's still that part of your brain that the alarm's going to go off and be like, wait a second, what are we doing? Like for sure, we're just going to donate that? We're just going to get rid of it? So I understand that. But I'm just here to say, I think it's worth it. From what I've experienced and others experience, I don't think you're going to regret it, right? So we peel layers of the onion. We build confidence over time. We work at it a little bit at a time. And we also join others on the journey and stick together and watch other people's YouTube videos and podcasts and books and all the things. We're like, oh yeah, they say the same thing. Oh yeah, they're experiencing that too. And so we just collect data and we build trust with ourselves over time. But mostly I just want to give you permission to let this stuff go. If you have been experiencing the same thing, where you feel like, yeah, I think you're right. I don't enjoy the little things in life anymore. I do think I've gotten to the point of diminishing returns. I have felt really unsatisfied with purchases that I've made in the past. And that actually makes a lot of sense why you're saying that is. There's nothing wrong with you. It's just human psychology. And so you have permission to let that stuff go so that you can truly value the things that you have. Even, I was just thinking, I'm like, one coat, one hat, one pair of boots, like one pair of walking shoes. Once the need is fulfilled, adding more is such a short-lived feeling of satisfaction. And so it really is all that we need. Counterintuitive, countercultural, counter to what all the marketing is telling you. But you get to a point where you don't miss any of it. You don't miss the variety or the options, because living this way is just so easy and enjoyable. So there is my rant on stuff and why it's not making us happy. I hope it's validating to you. You understand like, yeah, that actually makes a lot of sense why this stuff has not been satisfying. And I'm excited for you. I believe 2025 is the year of fully decluttered homes. I think we've learned a lot. We've come through a lot together that has helped bring clarity on our stuff. There's so much information available now. And we can't live stressed and anxious like this anymore. Something has to change. And I think starting with your physical environment and your home is one of the easiest places to start. It's hard work, but you can see really fast results and progress. And that is so motivating and gratifying to us. Unlike maybe some of our other goals, like losing weight and getting out of debt, those take a little while to reap the benefits. Decluttering, you can see progress right away. So we'll continue to stick together. Obviously I have lots of videos on decluttering. I have some long format ones that are great to put on in the background while you're working. And also we have a playlist of minimalism back to basics. So if you want to learn more of the ins and outs of this idea of minimalism, why it's not actually as crazy as it might seem, then that playlist can be a great thing to check out as well. But I love you. I'm so grateful for you. And I do believe that getting rid of all of this stuff, man, your life is going to be so much better for it. And I really want that for you. All right. Well, I hope you have a good day and I will see you again soon.