Stella Wu ¦ 2024 RAW Comedy National Grand Final

I'm Stella Wu. I used to work for a bank and I quit my job to pursue comedy. And yeah, I live in Sydney now. Yeah, knee-howdy to you too. Yeah, I always wanted to do something performance-related. But you know, being a girl and all open mic or stand-up comedy sounds like not suitable for a girl. I remember I told my mum and my mum said, you're not gonna be a clown. I'm like, look at me, mum, clowning now. And I think the goal is just to make people happy. Because we're trying to force an emotion that usually happens naturally. But we're trying to stimulate the laughter. And yeah, just perform to as many people as we can and just make everybody happy. Put your hands together for Stella Wu! Yeah, Wu, that's my name. And I'm from Hong Kong. Wu, thank you, my honkies. And you know, growing up in Hong Kong, my mum has all these strange rules about food. Like I wasn't allowed to drink Coca-Cola, but Sprite was all right. No dark chocolate, but white chocolate was fine. And strictly no black coffee. I recently just found out, this whole time, my mum was just a massive racist. And people ask me a lot, what's Hong Kong like? I'll just tell them, imagine Australia, but 10 years from now. We used to be British, now we're owned by China. Yeah, I know, it's not so much of a joke, more like a warning. I've been living in Australia for more than 10 years. To this day, it's still crazy to me. You know how Aussies can go up to each other and be like, hey, did you watch the game? And they will start talking about the game. Like no context. Which sport? What game? And so now, just to mess with them, I'll go up to a random Asian and be like, hey, did you pass the test? I actually told this joke a few days ago in another show. And one guy came up to me afterwards. He said, hey, don't you bring racism to Australia? And I'm like, what? But I thought about what he said, and I think he's right. Because why would you bring sand to the beach? Thank you. But yeah, I do love Australia very much. Like, everybody is so laid back, so chill here. That's until I try to bring foreign food into the country. And then suddenly, people treat me like Pablo Escobar. But yeah, I do get it. Like, don't bring food or drugs into the country. Because nothing is worse than a koala getting hooked on cocaine. Or chicken feet. I actually broke up with my boyfriend six months ago. He wanted kids, and I didn't. And he got quite upset. He said to me, my dad warned me about this. To never buy chicken that doesn't lay eggs. Yes, I find that quite funny. Because my mum actually warned me about the same thing. She's like, never buy a rooster whose dad is a piece of shit. And yeah, now I'm single. I mostly date Asian guys. Because my biggest fear is whether people can tell me and other Asian girls apart. And I met this really cute Aussie guy last week. So I thought, I'll just put this to the test. I sent him a picture of me, and then ten different Asian girls. And I just told him, find me. Like, this guy, he came straight back. He's like, babe, you're number four. The only problem is, I didn't even put myself in. And he picked a picture of Jenny from Blackpink. Which is like Margot Robbie of Asia. So I said to him, yes babe, yes, that's me. Anyway, I actually never saw him again. I took him to dinner in Chinatown. And he just followed some random Asian girl home. I actually quit my job to become a comedian. Thank you, thank you. I told my parents that, this wasn't their response. And I got scared talking to them. So I thought, ah, I better think of something worse. I told them, you know, besides comedy, maybe I also want to get a neck tattoo. Or if I run short on cash, there's always drug dealing. Or just stripping. And my mum just looked me dead serious and said, like, don't be ridiculous. Drug dealing is illegal. Just stick to stripping. Alright, thanks everyone, I'm Stella. Love you guys!