The Lord & The Lady ft. Scott Disick | Khloé in Wonder Land Episode 1 | Khloé Kardashian

Lord Disick, I know you don't do podcasts. I wouldn't do anything for you though, cook. You are father extraordinaire. I do explain to Mason how drinking affected me. I'm not treating you any different because of my mistakes or how I live. But if I see a problem, I will take action. Do you remember when we wrestled? Crazy, drunk wrestled. Oh, Paris. Courtney kicked you out of the car. He threw up on your driver. My mom is on the floor. Oh my god. An embarrassment. That's how rumors get started. I don't know how many people remember this, but... Oh, s***. This is more than a show. It's a window into my world and the stories that make it meaningful. Welcome to Chloe and Wonderland. Number one, you are the very first person that is recording with me. No way. In my podcast. Oh, I didn't know that. I don't know if it's going to be episode one. Oh, that's bulls***. It is bulls***. So I'm like the guinea pig? Yes. And then I'm not even the first step? Well, I don't know. Oh, because you probably got somebody more famous than me. No, it just depends what you give me today. That's horse manure. Well, hey, let's see what you got. I'll give you everything I've always wanted to give you. But thank you. I know you don't do podcasts. I would do anything for you though, Chloe. You know that. Have you ever done a podcast? No. Shut up. I was asked to do one though the other day when I was in Vegas. These guys who have a podcast asked me to do one and I just said yeah, but... And you didn't? You just bailed? I didn't do it. It's a good one though, and I would if I didn't. Why didn't you do it? I don't know. I just feel like if it's not within our family, the last thing I want to be asked is about our family. Get it. And then maybe I answer something a little bit weird and then I have 87 people writing me on the group chat. How could you say this or that? Like, I don't want to talk about anything. Imagine if they were like, so is Kris Jenner really what she's like in real life? And I'm like, yeah, she's lovely. And then they turn it around somehow and then she's like, so you don't think I'm lovely? I just, I don't want all that stress. It's a lot of stress. It's a lot of pressure. And I've been in like interviews where I'm like, you could just ask about me. And then it turns immediately. I had something happen recently. I was doing a car segment and they told me they were going to ask me just about my vehicles and I'm into cars, right? And I sit down in a chair in my house and I thought it was about the cars. And his first question is about you and Lamarck. And I was like, what about? I was like, is this a tell-all? What the f*** are you doing? Like, what a throwback couple. But right. And I'm like, what's going on here? So it was a total decoy to try to like get me to talk about intense s***. So I had to, I stopped. What year was this? Recently? Like a few months ago. That was probably the last time I've done an interview. And that was kind of like, this is exactly why I don't do interviews. Yeah. And it's scary. And I think with podcasts, anything like they even doing this, it was really intimidating for me because people will twist your words around. It's not the same how it was years ago. No. Now anything you say can be used against you or it's not politically correct. And I know how you and I talk sometimes. It's not politically correct. Yeah. And we're not trying to offend anybody, but we're just used to being who we are. And being normal. Being normal. But the new normal is f***ing bizarre. Yeah. It's why everything is twisted upside down. Even when I'm with May sometimes and he's looking at Insta, TikTok, this one, that one. I'm like the information that they get so much more than we had. Like, I remember it being hard to find a naked girl to s*** up to. Literally. Like when I was 14, I would have to find like a Playboy somewhere. Well, do you remember going to your parents' house and looking? Was it your mom in Playboy? No. What was she? No. She worked at a Playboy mansion. Okay. We were down in your basement. Oh, and she had the outfit, the Playboy. Bunny. Yeah. And pictures. I remember. One of the. Bonnie the bunny. Yeah. And I think in Manhattan, it was like one of Hefner's Playboy mansion clubs. That's what it was. She wasn't a nude model. That's how rumors get started. So speaking of your kids, I think it's so crazy to think of when, I mean, I first met you. You really are, I would say, the king of reinvention. We have Lord Disick. We have Scott. We have. F*** out. Douchebag. No, just kidding. Oh, douche lord. But then we have douche lord. Douche kebab. You are, I think, father extraordinaire. I do really like the father thing. But it's crazy how many, and I know that is a part of life, the evolution of life, the different chapters we have. But think about to when I first met you. Oh my God. We were kids. How old were you when you first met you? Like 23 or 22. 22. And I was a young 22. You think? I mean, I didn't come off that way. I felt like I tried to overcompensate by trying to make pretend that I was mature and knew what I was doing. But I really didn't. I was definitely relying on my parents for things. I wasn't a big shot on my own, running a business, knowing what I was doing. It's definitely like calling home. I probably need money to take court on a date. Yeah, but isn't that how every 22-year-old is? Well, yes. But at the time, your sister was older than me by five years. So I was trying to be more mature than I really was. But I was a kid. It's my first real relationship. And it progressed fast. And then we're living together. That was my first time, I think, really living with someone. I mean, it's so weird. I lived with you, too. I know, because Court and I were living together. And then you and Court met. And what's weird is, I don't know why I hated you so much from the start. Like, I didn't even give you... No, you did give me a chance. I think... You think? Yeah. I felt like I was gung-ho and like... No. This guy's a d**k and I just don't like you. No. I did some things that weren't right. Maybe you just don't remember. Yeah. We were fine. Who? You and him? Yeah. There came a time where you were like, yo, you're a d**k. And then we... Right, but I felt like I didn't like you. No. It wasn't from the get-go. Okay. Well, good. My memory doesn't serve me correctly. Yeah, no, you were totally fine. I just was not a great person. And you were like, yo, I like you, but you're a f**khole at that point in my life. And I was. Like, when I look back, I'm like, I can't believe anybody tolerated that kind of... But it's also what made you, you. Sure. And I also think the evolution of you and the growth of you is such a beautiful thing. I consider you one of my best friends and I love you so much. And I don't think we would be where we are now if it weren't for... Yeah, no, I believe that. All of those situations. Yes, for sure. Because the bad things that we are. No, we went through a lot, for sure. A lot of ups and downs. I think a lot of me not liking you was, yes, what you did, but also, I felt like you were encroaching on my territory too. I just thought you were being protective and being smart. Okay, we could keep it there then. Sure. I was being smart. I like to hear that. I mean, you were, honestly. You were protecting your sister. And looking back, I would have probably done the same. I mean, the really amazing thing about our relationship, yours with the entire family, is that you were around before the show even started. Yeah, which I think is a nice thing. It's a great thing. I think it's an amazing thing. And just all of us on this journey together, I think is so special. And I don't know how many people realize that you were on the show, because there's new viewers of the show. I think the idea is definitely no. Yeah, probably not. But what did your parents think? What did your friends think back at home about starting this adventure with your girlfriend and her family and all of us? I mean, you remember my parents. They liked it. They loved it. Because they were just like, we hate that you live in California, but if we can see you on TV, it's good enough for us. We didn't have FaceTime, probably. Imagine if we had FaceTime when they were alive. I'd have been f***ed. They would have called me 97 times a day on FaceTime. They already did call you all the time. No, but not on FaceTime, because we didn't have that yet. Right. So I got... Crazy, no FaceTime. Yeah. No Instagram. There was none of that. They had some... They just had the tabloids. Oh, yeah. And that was a problem. Every day, they're like, you got Chloe pregnant? I'm like, yes, dad, I got Chloe pregnant. It's like, okay, I'll call you later. I'm like, what? You never got me pregnant. But that's what they would say on the front of like... Every week, it was a different sister I got pregnant. I'm like, where's the kids? It's crazy when I... So I did a poll, like, who do you guys want on my podcast? And you were the number one person that got requested to be on my podcast. And then my number one question was... Well, I think there's two questions. Have you and I ever hooked up? F*** yeah. No, we haven't. And I didn't know if this was related to you and I or just in general. Why aren't we married? I don't know if that's like together or why aren't we married? We're both not married. But I don't know which one it was. What do they mean to each other? That's what I'm saying. I don't know. That's a huge difference. Well, nobody specified who might... Well, how do we ask? The pollers? But I don't care to give it a lot of attention. Right, that would be a little weird. Do you find it strange? No, no. I don't find that strange. For years, people have always ran with this narrative about either you hooking up with Kendall. I've always seen a lot. It's either from Kendall or me. And I'm like, I don't even know if you and Kendall hang out that much because she's always just so busy. I don't think it has any truth. So they just run with anything, you know what I mean? Just like, oh, look at their relationship. They're close. Boom. Let's just say something ridiculous. It's so nasty. And then people with us, because we get along well, people are like, they're soulmates. Like, bro, I have children with her sister. Yeah, it's wild. And that's soulmates. I obviously say a lot of gross things that are probably too much, but that's just who I am. Yeah, you know it's your humor. But obviously, I'm not serious. The fact that people think that is psychotic. But I guess if I was watching a show and I wanted it to be entertainment, you know, I guess I would jump to those too. Like, oh, my God. Well, the crazy thing is, if we actually were together, we would be annihilated for it. So it's like people, do you know what I mean? Like, no one's ever happy. It would be pretty crazy. Well, yeah, it's disgusting. But it would be totally fine in, like, two weeks these days. Like, after two weeks of, like, annihilation, it would be like, and it worked. It's a while. It's psychotic. Where was the turning point in our relationship that made? Because I don't remember exactly. When I turned you around? Yeah, like, where it turned. Because we had a rothy start. And then once it turned good, I feel like we never got off that track. Even if we don't agree on something, we don't ever, like, hate each other. Where before, it was very apparent, our disdain for one another or how frustrated I was. If we have a problem now, we, like, talk it through. But what do you think was the turning point? I honestly think it was probably just me being a little bit better of, like, maturity or something or growing up a drop. And you were like, all right, let me give them another chance. And then we became friends. And I think when we moved to the Hamptons, we became closer. And we'd spend more time together again. And I kind of think that. Gosh, you think it was that far? No, maybe not. Maybe not. No, it wasn't. It was way before that. I feel like maybe just when we moved out, like when I moved out and you and Court had your own space. I don't know. Maybe I'm wrong. Well, because when we lived together, we really never saw you. So it wasn't like it really mattered. Okay. So something that you and I talk about a lot privately is the fame aspect. And I think it's easy for us to say, like, people, this is an awkward. Because you always want what you don't have. So people, when you complain about fame, people like, oh, must be. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You say, yada, yada. But what are, for you, what are the pros and cons to fame? Like, how do you deal with it? Like, the only real pro is money. Right. And then everything else is a con. I agree. But, you know, I see sometimes when people, like, will come up to me or something if I'm in public and like there's, let's say people asking me stuff or there's photographers and they're like, how do you deal with this? And I always say, you know, you take the good with the bad. You go with the good and the bad with the bad. Like, there's a price to pay for everything. You know, if I was working at Fortune 500, I'd be working my ass off and stressed out and be in an office all day and not be able to see my children as much. And I'd be stressed out to another level. But with this, you're just noticed wherever you are. And it can be frustrating and difficult. But, you know, it's just like any job. Like there's perks and then there's the negatives. But you can also like you and I feel like I've learned to navigate living our lives in a way where we don't really feel that famous because we know where to go, where to not not leave at certain times. I know. But isn't that sad how calculated we have to be? Like, there's no way you or I could just like be set up on a random date and like just like go to a random restaurant with somebody we don't know and go have a drink and be like, oh, I want to meet them and see what's up. Now that we are both parents, what advice would you give to your kids? Do you want them to be a part of this? I feel like it's up to them. Yeah. They don't seem very interested. But I remember Kylie and Kendall at their age not being interested at all and not wanting to do the show or be on the show or having any part of it. And at that time, I don't think they even knew what it was or what it was going to be. But they definitely were like, we're going to school like you guys can film. Even though they were like on the show, but like at a default. Right. Just like if the cameras are rolling, they were in the background type thing. But it's crazy to think what they've become. Now look at the 13 or 14 grandkids. When they all become of age, what they could do is like a royal rumble of the world. It's terrifying. It's insane. It is terrifying. Because look at what two girls did. I know. Like Kendall and Kylie blew up a whole society of their age. That's a good way to look at it. It really is. 13 different personalities getting on different demographics. I am so terrified just for. Oh my God. Storm, shy, true and dream to be teenagers at the same time. I am terrified. And then you have the older North. I know. Me's this one, that one. So if they're going out, they're going to be like, oh, there's my cousin. Oh, there's my. Oh, this whole club's my cousin. Let's go. It's going to be insane. Imagine the guy on the microphone having a name drop every person there. No, it's going to be a problem. I see you dream. No, this one, that one. Like we were killing it with four of us going out. Five of us going out. Killing it. When we first got famous, it was like, oh, we're going out. It's wild. Think about them in Vegas. Remember our Vegas nights? Oh my God. Imagine them going 15 deep. Like with their friends and like. It's just crazy. We were a tsunami of craziness. I can't imagine that. And now it's such a different thing because people look at you so different just because of even like social following. Like Mason decided to get Instagram the other day because we let him. He got a million followers like within a day or two. Not posting a photo. And for some people, that's like their life dream. Like, oh my God, followers. Oh my God. So for them, they don't even care. But like their whole network is so ginormous. They don't even understand yet. No, they don't have a clue because they also grew up with it. I think out of all your kids, I think Rain would be the one that's the most comfortable in front of the camera. I think he'd want it the most. Right. Like he'd want to be camera. He's like a young Jim Carrey. He is the funniest kid, has the craziest personality and voice. Oh, he's wild. You don't even know what happened this morning. What? So we're all having like breakfast before they go to school. And one of our nannies, Allie, and she's great and he loves her. And he pulls me aside in the morning. He's like, did you hear anything last night? I go, no. He goes, very loud. I go, it was loud? I go, what are you talking about? He goes, I mean, Allie. I go, Rain, what are you talking about? He goes, Allie was dancing again last night. I go, she was dancing? He goes, yes. What does that mean? She sneaks men in at night. She dances and the men just shower money on her and make it rain. I swear to you. I go, so your nanny exotic dances at night for money? In your house? Yeah. When we're sleeping. He's like, yeah. Em and Allie overhears them and she's like, yeah, Rain? He's lying, right? Of course. Okay. He's lying. She's not dancing. I didn't know what you were saying out of my house. He is what, nine? He's wild. Yeah. He's gonna be 10 in December and he is. In two weeks. But. And this is what he said. Oh my God. But he was so like serious. Stone cold face. I mean, I obviously didn't believe him, but I just wanted him to tell the story. I was like, keep going. And he's like, I mean, yeah, the guys were making it rain. They were throwing money and she's just, she does what she does. And I was like, maybe it's a Christmas bonus. Also like you. He's wild. He is wild. When was the last time you needed to go to the doctor, but you pushed it off? Made the excuse. I'm too busy. It'll heal on its own. I don't need help. I don't know which doctor to go to. I think we've all been there. Booking a doctor can feel just so daunting. 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You can find a provider in your network anywhere within days. That is one of the many reasons that I love it. Stop putting off those doctor's appointments and go to ZocDoc.com slash Chloe to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today. That's Z-O-C-D-O-C dot com slash Chloe. ZocDoc.com slash Chloe. Would you ever let your kids watch the show, like old episodes? Yeah, I think it's cute that like they have, you know, like a lot of families show their kids albums of pictures. We're able to show them full videos of our lives, of them being born, of them like growing up, you know. I just think the version, which I would too, I mean, I would be mortified for so much that my kids would have to see. But the version you are right now, and the version you were then, like sticking hundred dollar bills down waiters' throats. I thought about that just now. And yelling at people like, what would you? But the truth is, I do explain to Mason, like, how drinking affected me and how badly it put me in certain places. That's good. And he knows that. And he, for a while, thought I was going to treat him differently because of that. And I said, I'm not treating you any different because of my mistakes or how I lived. Oh, like how you would father? If I see a problem with alcohol with you, I will take action. Right. But other than that, you are just like every other kid. And you're going to try drinking when you're going to try drinking. But if I see a problem that might be hereditary, then I'll jump in. But until then, you're treated like every other kid. But I would not love to have him see the crazy. It's funny that he hasn't seen some of these things. Maybe, yeah. Maybe if he sees the outlandishness of you, like the Miami days and all that, maybe that would prevent him from drinking. Yeah. Because he'll see how. Wow. Like my dad is a real d**k then. But he also knows how incredible you are now. So it's not like you're still like this, but. No, definitely. But, you know, you're right. And I think that's a great way to look at it because he is going to be a teenager when he's 15. But he's going to be experimenting when he's older. Yeah. And it's good that you say that to him because you still got to let him be a kid. But also now I do know what could happen if someone doesn't. I talk to him all the time about it and I'm just like, you know, it take you down a really bad road or it could be a really fun road. You know, like I feel like Kendall and Kylie are a perfect example of like, they'll go out, they have some drinks and they're like the perfect mix of like. Where Kim didn't even drink. Kendall and Kylie, they have a few drinks and they have fun and they're good, but nothing more. And me and Kourt were slob kebabs. Well, Kourt stopped kind of after the first kid, but. Not me. Oh, you only get drunk when you get drunk. You drink to get f**ked. Yeah. And that's when it's like, it's a rare occasion. But when it happens, it's full force. It happens. You remember when we wrestled in the like straight up crazy drunk wrestled in the middle of that. Oh, the Versailles. Oh, Paris. Yes. On the floor. Yeah. In the Versailles. And people were like, guys, this is a museum. You can't be wrestling and throwing things. We're like f**k everyone. Now it was Kim and Kanye. Yeah, it was Kim and Kanye's. What's that wedding? So it was the wedding, but it's like a party before the wedding. I know Lana Del Rey was like singing while we were fighting. Oh my God. It was miserable. It's so embarrassing. Kim and Kanye rented the entire chalice of Versailles. Scott and I weren't aware that the wedding location was going to be elsewhere. We were flying to Italy the next day. So we were in London. No, we were in Paris. I don't know. Yeah, we were in Paris. We were in the Four Seasons. OK, got it. We were in Paris. You're right. You and I were having a drinking competition. Oh my God. And I took an entire bottle of vodka, drank it. I was also going through a divorce. I was like not in the best place. And you and I started wrestling on the floor in front of thousands of people. I think it might have been my birthday. Maybe. It's around that time. Yeah. And I was like, I'm trying to have a good time. Kourtney kicked you out of the car. You threw up on your driver. My mom kicked me out of the room and was like, you are an embarrassment. She was like, you're disgusting. I don't know if she said those words. I mean. She was like yelling at me and Kourtney was yelling at you. And we were like shamed in the hallway. Oh, it was bad. Fell asleep. I remember Kendall and Kylie walked by and everyone was like, you've got to get up. We have to catch a flight to go. That was the craziest waking up. The wedding. And I was like, you guys are assholes for not waking up, like telling us to stop earlier. I think I slept in the bathroom of my room. And they're like, all right, we're getting on a plane. I was so drunk at the wedding, but I drank the day before. It was horrible. They really needed to tell us we were going to fly the next day. Oh, it was horrible. But that was so crazy to like, look back at that. And now, like, obviously you'd still have fun, but we would never be throwing bottles around and wrestling through the Versailles. I hope. I mean, who knows? That was fun, actually. But the hangover. Oh, my God. Do you think because you are an only child, you got away with so much more? Like, I wonder, I think we having siblings, like we hold each other accountable. Where when you're an only child, no one's there to like either rat you out. Or to talk about things in a real way. My parents didn't really know how to discuss certain things and relate it back to them and say, you know, I've been through this and I could help you here. Let me tell you a story about myself. Whereas Mace or P or anybody like Mason, especially like if he's going through something, you know, I talk to him about my life and like mistakes that I did. And I'm like, here's what I've done. What's worked for me. What hasn't worked for me. And like even recently, like he's starting to really like girls and obviously girls like him. And I just said, you know, it's like you can do whatever you want. Just don't lie and don't manipulate any girls. Okay. So if a girl tells you she wants to maybe do something with you and like hook up or whatever. If she knows that like you're not in a relationship with her, don't tell her you are just to get something out of her. And he's like, no, I know. I get it. And I hear him on the phone. He's like, we could, we, we can't, but we're friends. And he tells them straight up. Like, cause that's where it's like manipulating a girl to say, I love you. I love you. I want to be with you. I want to be with you just to like get somewhere. Right. And then the next day you're with someone else. So I said, listen, you can do whatever you want as long as you're honest. And you know, honesty is the best policy. But back in our day, it wasn't so easy. You know, if you met someone who was like, okay, I gotta, you know, do whatever it takes. But I also think now because of social or this or that, it's so transparent to who they are. You can't really lie these days. We're back in the day. We could live double lives and no one would know about it. Yeah. I can't even imagine like they have no way of being private, hiding anything. No. Right. No. How are you with dating around the kids? Like that's separate. Or is it like, do you discuss that with them? Do they ask? Yeah. I mean, I kind of told them that like. Because they're older. I imagine. Yeah, they ask me, they'd like me to be with somebody, I think. And they, you know, they do voice to me that they'd like me to be with someone. And I kind of say like, until I find the right person, I don't really want to bring another person around unless it's like the end all, be all person, just because I don't want them to get attached to somebody else. But I have to do my thing too, or I'll never meet anyone. But like, they're all like starting to get older. And it's not that much longer until like they're of age, all of them. So for the next like five, six, seven years, if like my attention is on them, I have the rest of my life to be with a single guy. Like right now, it's like, I like that my focus is on them. And if I was with somebody else, like, yeah, I'd still be a good dad. But I would have somebody that I would be putting on a pedestal near them. I mean, if I weren't in my situation, I would be like, Scott, this is bulls**t. But because I feel the same. Right, we're kind of in the same thing. I feel like my kids are, yes, men are younger than yours. But they're just my top priority. And I don't care about dating. I don't know what will happen in a couple of years or next year. I don't know. But I'm not dating. I don't care to. Like my focus is just my kids. But I think if I wasn't in my situation, I'd be like, you're so full of s**t. But I totally get it. And I think it's the smart. To me, I think it's the smartest thing. Well, look, I mean, you know, my youngest is 10, right? So in eight years, he graduates high school. In eight years, I'll still be able to do my thing. I mean, I feel like in eight years, you and I both will find someone. For sure. Yeah, I'm just not that worried about it. Like, I feel like. Yeah, I'm not worried. The right person, if they're meant to be, they'll come. But I'm just like, I don't want to like search and be disappointed now. Yeah. I think it's so different. By the way, a lot of people I know that are not famous are in these long relationships and they're breaking up. That's crazy. But I keep hearing. Where are you going? Yeah, the grass is not always greener. You've got to water your own grass sometimes. Is that like masturbating? No, just water your own grass. But I meant just like prioritize your relationship. And water yourself. With your partner. Like if you're in with someone for like 12, 15 years. Don't start over. You're good. But no, like these are people that are like. That's what I'm saying. But they're making a mistake. No, they're not. Like it wasn't like there was no option. What would you say you've like in terms of vulnerability or what you want to give to your next partner? Like what would that be that you would do differently from the past? Like, do you want to be more vulnerable or do you feel like staying guarded? I don't think I was like guarded or anything in my last relationship. You know, I don't think that was like a problem in our relationship. Yeah, that's not like a huge thing. I think about I just. So even being in the limelight and stuff, you feel like you're pretty open when you meet people. Like when I'm deep into a relationship and I trust somebody and like love somebody, which is a rare thing, right? I've only been in a few relationships. But like my last one, I trusted the girl I was with very much and told her everything that I felt in the world and was totally like a good, fine thing. You know, so it hasn't hardened you. No, like my last relationship was good. It was just kind of like we were in different places at different times in our lives. And we know that I tend to date a little younger than I should. And. Are you going to stick with that? Are you going to try to go a little older? No, I can't go. Well. So what's your age range? Maybe I'll get back with her when she gets older. But she'll still be the same. Yeah, but she'll be matured and older and been through life a little bit and got over. You had some heartbreaks and learn the rules. That's a little cheat code. Yeah. Like, let them go. Let them come back. It's meant to be. Yeah. So they needed like some time. It's kind of great because it gives me a time to like, you know, with my kids. Got it. And you go back when you're running and you've gotten like some life lessons in you. What are the things you both love and dislike the most about each other? I mean, honestly, I feel like with you, the things that I once disliked from you, I like love. Like, they're just who makes you up. Like, but I don't even I just think we have such a relationship where you're literally like my brother, that it's everything you do. Like, if my brother annoys me, it's like. Yeah. Like, it's like we're going to get over anything. Oh, yeah. No, I don't have a doubt. Even if I don't talk to you for weeks or like you can call me at any time. I feel like I could go to you with like anything in the world. So it's so weird that I have. Yeah, I know. I'm so happy that we all have each other. I would say the only thing that annoys me sometimes we don't see each other enough and we live so damn close to each other. I agree. It feels like we don't live near each other when we can walk to each other's houses. Well, I was going to say the only thing that really annoys me about you is when you say you're going to come to something and then you don't show up. All right. I was thinking you were going to do that to me today. Never. And I said, well, my mom is right next door. I could always pull her in. No, I would never do that. Well, I didn't know. No, I hate that you think that. I gotta never not showing up to anything. You're the biggest liar. No. You don't show up to almost everything I invite you to. That's okay. No, I know. I just. I'm not. You just said I'm never not. What did you just say? I'm going to show up to everything. The other day I showed up to the party for Dream at your house. Oh, my God. That was so funny. And I was like, I am not going to not make this. I was like, Mace, get in the car. We got to get out of here. We got to go. You have fun. Yeah. And a lot of thriving. It was fun. I felt like he was thriving. We had the best time. And I went to Malibu after that. We had a good little day. Took all of his friends to Trattanoi for like a little Italian. Cute. Yeah. I mean. Bada boom, bada bing. Bada bing, bada boom. You're drinking a DC. Yeah, I learned it from you. You're over it. I don't drink those anymore. No? No. Well, I didn't, you know, the whole thing with ginger, you know. I know. I didn't think sugar. I only had sugar and it's. I think I'll only have like once in a while. And I've won. The gingers were something else. As it did. That was a whole joke. But the flat wheat Hawaiian rolls. Oh, God, those are sickening. You would. Oh, my God. Did you see what Kim made the other night on the family chat? She made sweet Hawaiian rolls. She sliced them. Melted vanilla ice cream. Dipped the sweet Hawaiian rolls in vanilla ice cream like. Oh. Batter. Sprinkle cinnamon and sugar on it. Fry it so it's French toast, but drenched in vanilla ice cream. It's like a recipe. She saw it on the top. Yeah. And so eating it. And I'm like, if God sees this. Thank God. I'm like, I'm intolerant. I know. But trust me, she'd find a way. Yeah. Dairy free. Take one of those pills pop where you eat. Good to go. Wow. Um. It actually gives me like PTSD thinking of all those gingers and those Hawaiian rolls. I used to. You know that. But for that, like what? They would go on vacation with sweet Hawaiian rolls. Like I would pack those. What is something you would take right now? What's like your snack? Fetish that you love. If now we're out of sweet Hawaiian rolls. I like Cheerios. Like sweet honey, not Cheerios. That's it. Something crazy. Wow. So you used to be in coconut water. Snacker. Are you not the king snapper anymore? I haven't been snacking like I used to. I haven't really had chips either for a while. That really works. But the chips were like. I was a big chip. Yeah. And like goldfish. No, you loved all that crap. Oh my God. Oh, yeah. You used to, if anything would piss me off, it would be that the caps. No, you didn't care as much as the other person. No, I didn't care that much. But just seeing it in the caps. Oh, that's what bothered me. It would be three different Gatorades. On the soda. It was three different Gatorades, one ginger, a bowl of. The fish goldfish and then maybe a chocolate or a candy and some chips. I mean, it was a whole thing. Snacker. Oh, my God. Yeah, totally. It was a snack-a-thon. Do you have any regrets? I mean, no regrets, I say. No? Yeah. I mean, I definitely regret a lot of my horrific behavior going through some of my life, but. I don't dwell on it, you know, and look back and say like, oh, maybe I do. But I would have done things a little differently in certain times and places. But I feel like instead of like making it about me and thinking about it, like, oh, I'm just trying to make it like if I can give my kids the help to not have to go through those times that I had that were miserable. It's all worth it. Yeah, because you can do like, you know, you do. And there's so many things I see that I could have had different turnouts in my life or just how things are better and being a different way, you know, getting where you want. I could teach them and it makes me happy that I've been there and done it both ways, you know? Yeah, but you can't change anything. It's brought you here to where you are. And I think it would be something different to say if you were a loser mess right now, but because you are where you are now, I think it's cool to reflect on those things. I would be way too old to be still doing that stuff. What is one goal that you're still chasing if you have one? I'd like to get a family lake house. Nice. Think that's a good goal, maybe? That is a great goal. And I build houses so I can build it. Oh, yeah. I don't know if enough people know that you build houses. Yeah, I love it. I know that's your passion project. I mean, it was a passion and then it turned into a business. Yeah. And it's a good business, you know, like a lot of people. I love that your career is still a passion project of yours. Yeah. I mean, you know, you always hear people saying like, a job is not a job if you really love it. And I feel that way a lot with like the building, the houses and stuff like that. And then when I started doing it, it was like, wow, this is amazing. I don't know how many people remember this, but the pod. Pod? Yeah. In the bathtub? Yeah. That's what I was thinking. Oh, my God. I can't believe I didn't start with that. So I'm thinking we're doing this. Well, podcasts are the biggest thing in the world. And you and I started a podcast. Way before anybody. In a bathtub. Which is insane. I had a bathing suit on and you had swim trunks on. But there was no... No one said we were naked. Well, when you say in a bathtub together... But it's still psychotic. The whole thing was psychotic. But you looked like you were from Baywatch. Yes, I had a red bathing suit on. It was crazy. But we had... There was no visual for podcast. Right. We just had the thing and then we eventually lost the recorder. What lake was that? Where were we? It was a sound. Yeah, the bay. The bay. It was behind our house, yeah. Oh. You were holding on for dear life. I would not let go of that rap. So we started a podcast together. What year was that? That was Penelope was... And it was called The Lord and the Lady. Because you're the lord, I'm the f***ing lady. That should be the episode of this. The Lord and the Lady. Okay. Jot that down. The Lord and the Lady. We did a few episodes. Imagine if we stuck with that. And I tried to do another one in Cleveland. Yes, but I was pregnant and I hated it. Oh, you were not having it. No, I was so annoyed. There's also a question that I read from a poll that said if we got stuck maybe on an island together... Okay. ...what we would get annoyed with first with each other. And I was like, oh, I know exactly what my answer would be for that. Tell me. Me asking you too many questions. Like that night in the car. You'll never let that night go. I must have just been on like a bad mood. I mean, we're in a car. We have nothing. From Santa Barbara. To do is to talk. And I guess some people don't talk. You're like, have you heard of the radio? Put a song on. I don't want to talk all the time. You were just asking me like 50 questions. Well, you weren't talking. So I just wanted to get the juice while I had you. And I was really annoyed. I locked the doors. I was like, yo, I'm getting it on. And I just wanted to know everything. Stop asking him so many questions. I think he might have like got out of the car. Maybe stop. I didn't get a car. I need to switch cars. Oh, my God. Well, yeah, that would be it if we were stuck on. You're never going to let that go. No, it was too funny because that really was just like, I'm just asking you. Honestly, the questions wouldn't bother me. What would bother me is the hacking. I don't hack anymore. I've noticed that. But why do you not hack anymore? Because I was scared of you telling me. You also told me I would never find a girl if I did that. So I made you better. You unhack me. Oh, my God, I love that for us. I'm very proud of you because that's like. It was just do things out of habit. You don't even notice you're doing them. I feel like that was that. So how you had to be aware enough to stop doing the hacking. Yeah, it was a lot. A big deal. But you noticed it was a lot. It was gross. OK, good. As long as you noticed. Yeah, man. Thank God you were so gung ho about it. You're like, you're never going to be with anyone. You know, I'm not one to sugarcoat things. I can't believe that you thought of the podcast. We originally did, too. I just thought of that. I was like, why have we not talked about it? That was great. We're the original podcasters. Nobody thought. No, I don't know why we kept up on it. We would have been like the biggest. I don't even know what we talked about. But we loved that we were podcasting in an actual tub. But no one could see us, right? We could have really been in bed and pretending. Or in chairs. Yeah, but we could have been lying in bed. We could have been lying to the audience. But instead, we actually were doing the things we said we were doing. I guess we were filming a show. Yeah, but they got the visual. Still, who cares about that show? Wait, what was your favorite take series? I kind of liked The Hamptons, even though you hated The Hamptons. The Hamptons was my least favorite take series. I liked them all. I liked New York. You did not like New York. Well, maybe because you lived there. I loved New York. You're from New York. But some of the people. Oh, I think I liked the one. But I did one with Kim without you. No offense to you. It was just nice because I got to be with Chris a lot. And like my friends. Oh, that Chris. No, not the dump. I was like, where are we going with this? No, I think those takes shows were fun. Miami was too much for me. New York was great. And The Hamptons was pretty great. But they were fun. It was just crazy that we would move our lives for like five months at a time. We had nothing else to do. Lordy, thank you so much for doing this. I love you. And I feel honored that you don't do podcasts, but you did mine. Maybe after this, I'm going to have to start. Scott, welcome to Wonderland. That's what this is called. Oh, I didn't even know that. Chloe and Wonderland. So welcome to Wonderland. And then this episode is The Lord and His Lady. The Lord and His Lady. Episode one. Let's just make that clear. If I did this and then I'm episode like eight. Well, I'll tweet about it. If you give me something really juicy, you could be episode one. Come here, bae. Let's. I love you. I don't know what hand movement that was, but it felt great. It wasn't good. It felt gross. It was. Ah.