MINIMALISM & SIMPLE LIVING: 10 Things to Stop Caring About

A few weeks ago, I made a video sharing 10 things I've stopped caring about as a minimalist. And actually making that video, I had a lot of things to share. And it was kind of hard for me to just choose 10. So since you all seem to like that video so much, and I still have a lot more to say, I figured I would make another one. So here are 10 more things I've stopped caring about ever since I adopted a simple minimalist lifestyle. If you've missed the other video, I will leave a link for you right there and in the description box below. There's no need to watch them in order, so feel free to just watch this one and then watch the other one afterwards. Before we begin, I quickly want to tell you about Wild deodorant, who have very kindly agreed to sponsor today's video and support my channel. Wild is a vegan cruelty-free and zero waste natural deodorant. So they have these little compostable bamboo refills, and once you have their reusable case, you can have these plastic free refills forever. You can just click them into the case and you're good to go. And these are easily my favorite deodorant that I've ever used, for three reasons. They're soft on my skin, they actually work, they keep me fresh all day no matter how active I'm being, and three, they have the best smells in the world. Right now I'm using their limited edition Christmas scents. So we have Prosecco and Winterberry, then Fresh Mountain Air, this one is also really nice, and the one I'm using right now, which is Spiced Orange and Pear. This smells amazing. I don't know how they come up with these, but this just smells like something I want to bathe in. The deodorants contain no aluminum, parabens, or sulfates. They're also a certified B corporation. And if you get the limited edition Starry Night case, they will plant an extra two trees on top of their usual tree planting efforts. Wild offers worldwide shipping and a very flexible subscription service. They have over 30,000 positive reviews. And because of Black Friday, they are now offering their most exclusive discount ever. So if you use my link in the description box and my discount code Vera Wild, you can get 30% off on all products. And this is a limited time offer, so after that it goes back to 20%. Big thanks to Wild for supporting my channel and keeping me smelling fresh all day. Let's begin with the video. The first thing that I've stopped caring about is being liked by everyone. As someone who used to be bullied a little bit when I was a child in elementary school, and also like in my sporting classes and everything, I kind of developed some sort of a need to have everyone like me, to have everyone approve of me. I had a bit of an inferiority complex, especially towards other girls. I always felt like they looked better, and they dressed better, and you know, I wasn't good at sports. And basically the only thing that I was good at was school. Which you know, if you're a kid, is not necessarily something that is very cool. So I always just kind of worked hard at getting people to like me. And I am pretty good at mimicking other people for some reason. So I would subconsciously try to change the way I talk, or the things I said, or the things I did, to kind of match the person that I was with. And all of that just to get their approval, or just to not feel like people don't like me, or that they think that I'm like not good enough for them. I started noticing this pattern, and I really didn't like it. So I tried to change it by staying true to me, and believing in myself. And that has really helped. But I think the number one thing that really helped, was when I was working in my corporate job. And I was promoted to manager of a team that you know, previously I was just a part of that team, and now I was the manager. So the people that were one week my colleagues, now had to report to me. And without feeling like I really changed anything in how I addressed them, I feel like I really noticed a change in how they communicated with me. And I just suddenly kind of realized like wow, just because I'm their manager, or just because I'm their boss, they are now a bit less comfortable around me, or they don't share as much. Or you know, I can start to see them kind of snapping to attention, or clicking away website when I walk into a room, things like that. Things you do with a with a boss. And that upset me a little bit at first, but then I realized like, this is not something I have under control. And why do I even care? You know, these people are my colleagues, and they can see me however they want, I will still be me. And if they don't like me, that's fine, that's like their issue. I just want to be someone that I can be proud of. So that is the biggest thing. And I think minimalism definitely helped with that, because it helped me to find my confidence, it helped me to find my authentic self. Because I wasn't as influenced by all of the ads for like the beauty stuff, and the fashion stuff, and I didn't feel like I needed to fit in anymore in order to feel good about myself. And that whole like simple living, minimalism, intentional living, it helped me to really feel good about who I am. It helped me to reflect about my actions, and not necessarily other people's response to my actions. But just like, do I feel good about my role in this? And do I make choices that I can stand behind and feel good about? And if that's the case, then if someone else doesn't like me, that's fine. The next thing I stopped caring about is decluttering guilt. I think we can all relate to feeling guilty about letting something go. Whether that was because it was a gift, or because you spent a lot of money on it and you haven't really used it a lot, or because it says something about you that you wish were true. For example, exercising equipment that you haven't used, like you wish you were someone who went hiking every weekend, or who went camping, or something. And you haven't, and therefore you feel guilty about letting it go. Or, and I think this is probably the most common one, just feeling guilty because you know that you are contributing to waste. So you bought this item, it is now in your life, and you are decluttering it. Which means that it might end up in a landfill somewhere, and that makes you feel bad. Especially that last one is the most difficult for me to deal with as well. But then I realized, and this was actually a friend of mine who really said it to the point where it kind of clicked. And that friend was Sarah from Abundantly Minimal. So if you don't know her, or know about her channel, I recommend checking her out. And she said to me, you know what, every item eventually will end up probably in a waste, like a landfill, or it gets recycled or whatever. But every item will eventually be disposed of. Whether it's something that you dispose of, or you give it to someone else, they will get some use out of it. Like that's the best case scenario. But then they might give it away, or dispose of it somehow. Or they might pass away, and it gets disposed of by family members. Like in the end, everything will be gotten rid of by someone, somewhere. So if you think about it like that, I really realized it doesn't make sense to hold on to an item that I have no use for anymore, that doesn't provide me value anymore, or even that makes me feel badly when I interact with it. Simply because I don't want to contribute to waste in some way. Of course, if you can give an item a second chance, somewhere else, if you can sell it, donate it, recycle it, upcycle it, whatever, that's always the preferred way. But if that's not an option, I just throw it out. And I try to do the best I can, but you cannot always avoid it. And I think the number one thing that we can actually do that does make a really big difference, is try and learn from our decluttering. So really ask yourself, when you are getting rid of something, instead of feeling bad about it, you know, there's no need for that. Just ask yourself like, okay, why did I buy this? And why am I now getting rid of it? And can I learn something from that, to prevent a future purchasing mistake like this? So we have a lot of years left, if we're lucky, to be making purchases. And so, if we can learn from our past mistakes, to improve our future purchases, purchasing decisions, then that is the best thing that you can do to prevent more waste coming into the world. The next thing that I stopped caring about, is being the best at everything. I have never necessarily been someone who is very competitive, but I used to be very much someone who I was trying to do something, but then if I saw someone else who did it easier or better, or who learned it faster, I got very discouraged. And I basically just wanted to give up, because I didn't feel like I could match the other person's talent in that way. I think this probably also just has to do with growing a bit older, and realizing just from life experience, that there's always going to be someone out there, probably multiple someones, who are better at you than whatever you could think of. Like there's always going to be someone who is more athletic, or better at learning languages, or who makes more money, or who looks better, or more athletic, or whatever you want to say, fill in the blanks. There's always going to be someone that's better at that thing than you are. And it doesn't mean that what you are able to do doesn't matter. It just means that you have your own path to walk, your own things to learn and get better at, and that is perfectly okay. You can just do things on your own pace, and you don't have to match other people's pace as well. Number four is having the perfect wardrobe, or having the perfect capsule wardrobe. I think having the perfect something is the reason why I went shopping as much as I did. And I think that goes for a lot of people, because subconsciously we tend to think that there is going to be one product that will solve our issues. Whether that is like the perfect pair of jeans, or you know, if we can just find our fashion style, and get a bunch of pieces that all work together, and have the perfect wardrobe, then we will always feel confident in our clothing. Or for example, last weekend I was in a big like department store, because I had to kill some time, and I was just looking around. Sometimes I like to do that. And I saw this serum for your face, that was like seven serums in one. And it was supposed to be like the perfect solution for any kind of problem that anyone has with their skin. And it made me think like, marketing really does a good job of making us think that there's going to be one product to have the perfect dot dot dot. And because we think yeah, if I can just buy this serum, or if I can just buy that shampoo, or those jeans, or better shoes, all our things are going to be fixed. And now I know that there's never going to be one perfect thing to end all things, or to fix everything. It just doesn't exist. Because perfection doesn't exist, we're always going to have some things that we feel a little about. And that's fine, we don't have to strive for perfection. And our upstairs neighbors are suddenly being very loud. Maybe they have a kid over or something, because someone is running from one side of the apartment to the other. Just the irony of that one thing being the reason why we buy a bunch of one things. And those one things that were supposed to fix it all, just become another thing that we own. And it's a never-ending cycle. So basically, stop trying to get things to be perfect, be happy with what you have, curate. Of course, if something doesn't work for you anymore, get rid of it. Or maybe change some things to make it better for you, that's fine. But you don't have to strive for perfection in any way. Number five. I've stopped caring about finishing everything that I start. Minimalism has taught me the wonderful wonderful side of quitting, of letting things go. And it's the best thing. I think that society has this like, you should never be a quitter, you should always follow through. And there is value in that, of course. I mean, no good things come easily. You need to stick with things and keep working at it before you see some results. Usually that's how it works. So perseverance and things like that, they are important life skills, I think. On the other hand, I do think that not being able to quit things can also hold people back from trying out a bunch of different things. Because you know that, okay if I start this thing, then I have to see it through. Even if I don't end up liking it, or if it doesn't really work for me. And I think that is a shame. I personally think that it is okay to try a bunch of different things in life. And if you don't like it, to quit and to move on to the next thing. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that. Even things like, I did tai chi for 11 years. And I was really afraid to quit after a while. Because I didn't want it, I didn't want to lose that skill. Because by that time I'd gotten pretty good at it. And so I really wanted to focus more on yoga. And I wanted to quit tai chi. But I felt like I wasn't allowed to. Because once you quit, you're not going to practice anymore. You're going to lose that skill, or you're going to get a little rusty. And then I figured like that's such a waste. But if you really think about it, if you keep up all of the things that you do in your life, and you're never allowed to quit any of them, you're not going to have time for anything else. You're not allowing yourself to grow and try new things. Because you already have all of these other things that you need to, you know, keep up in order to not forget that skill. So just like we can declutter a sweater that really doesn't work for us anymore, I feel like we can also declutter hobbies or interests or skills. Because we feel like that time is now over and we are ready for something new or something different. Number six, wearing what's trendy. I think that also has to do with getting other people to like you and seeking approval of others. Unless you're someone who really likes fashion, for example, you're really into it and you're analyzing all of these trends that come and go. And you're like, yeah that one I really like and I want to explore that. I don't necessarily think there's anything wrong with that. I'm not that kind of person. I am very stable. I'm basically always the same. I don't like to go from one end to the the other as kind of like a pendulum. I like things that are timeless and classic. And I really don't feel like I want to even know what's trendy necessarily. Because I feel like it's a waste of my time and energy. It's just not something that interests me. And so I think that, you know, being the girl who's always on trend, it's if you enjoy that kind of thing of course. But it is going to cost you probably a lot of money and a lot of time to keep it to keep up with all of these trends. And then once it's no longer trendy, you have to sell it or something. It's just a whole thing that I just don't want in my life anymore. I remember actually the moment I decided to stop doing this, was when there was a trend where every girl was wearing one of those necklaces with a big coin. Like they were always rosé gold, and there was this really big coin on the necklace as a kind of hanger. And the coin had kind of like zirconium stones on the on the the outer ring. And those were so trendy, and they were expensive. So there were all these brands making cheaper versions. And I was just so stressed because I couldn't find the right one, and I needed to have one. Because I saw everyone wearing them, and it suddenly just hit me like, do I even like these necklaces to be honest? Like do I think that this is worth the amount of effort that I've already put into it? And I figured like no, I don't necessarily like these necklaces that much. And I kind of had to laugh at myself and be like okay, I'm just gonna stop caring about this. I'm just gonna wear what I like, and let the trends come and go. I don't even really notice them anymore to be honest. Next thing I stopped caring about is not being very athletic. In my case. But if you're watching and you are very athletic, maybe you can use another word. So not being very something. So this one has to do with innate talent. Just things that you are naturally very good at. We all have those, and we all have things that we are naturally not so good at. And for me, that's being athletic. I've never really been the athletic kind of person. Like I said earlier, I was always kind of bookish. I enjoyed learning. And I never really enjoyed exercising until later on in my life, when I learned that you don't have to be athletic in order to enjoy sports. Which is the point that I'm trying to make. You don't have to be really good at something just naturally in order to enjoy it. So I think that maybe in our society, there is very much a value being put on being good at something. And if you're good at it, then it's more fun. Because it's always very much focused on the results of your actions. But I think that we can enjoy sports or exercising, even if we're not good at it. But because we feel like we need to be good at it, we feel inadequate when we do it. And then we don't enjoy it. And I think that's kind of a waste. It's the very same reason why so many people wouldn't want to join an art class. Because they think they're not creative. And they don't want to make something that's not good. So they don't enjoy it, and they don't do it. Whereas you know, if you really are not as creative, you can still enjoy creating something just for the heck of it. And you know, trying something new. And even if it doesn't come out looking great, or let's say worst case scenario, it's really awful. Like who cares? You had a good time. And you can still enjoy making a painting if you cannot paint. I still enjoy working out, even if I'm not like naturally very athletic. I've also learned that if you just stick with things, you will get better. Even if it's not something that you are naturally good at. Because let's say for me, yoga, I am still not very good at it. I have just very little upper body strength still. And I still cannot reach my toes. Like there are people, I kind of hate those people. No, just kidding. But like a friend of mine for example, tried crow pose for the first time. He got it like straight away. I have never been able to do crow pose in my life. It hurts so much, it hurts on my arms, like your knees hurting your arms. It's like, I cannot even fathom how someone would do crow pose, and then someone else just does it in one try. But they're very athletic. And so that doesn't mean that I cannot enjoy my yoga. I love doing it, and I've accepted that there are things that I'm just not naturally very good at. And maybe someday I will be able to touch my toes, or do a crow pose, and maybe not. But it doesn't matter, because I love every minute of doing yoga. So if there's something that you would like to do, but you think you're not good at it, try just not caring about that, and doing it anyway, and just enjoying yourself. That's the biggest biggest thing in life I think. Next thing I stopped caring about is owning everything that I think is cute, beautiful, fill in the blanks. Something that minimalism has really helped me with, is to realize that just because I like something, and I like looking at it, or smelling it, or you know, I appreciate it, I'm happy the thing is out there, doesn't necessarily mean that I also have to own it. So I started kind of trading shops as museums for pretty things. I mean, I like pretty things. I like looking at it, I'm one of those people who kind of wants to touch things in the and smell them and everything. And then I just think, yeah that's nice, I put it back. Like I've had a good time with it, I don't necessarily have to own it. And that is a very big change. Of course, it still sometimes happens that I see something that I would actually like to own, because I think like, wow I didn't know this thing existed. But I have this issue, and I think that this thing is going to fix that issue, or help in some way, or you know, I think that it would look great on my whatever, and I still want to buy it. That happens too. I'll take a picture, I'll save it for a couple days, and if I still want to get it after a couple days, I will just get it. I think that there's nothing wrong with it. But you know, the percentage of the things I see and like, and the things that I actually buy, is pretty low compared to before. And I always loved when I was working in an office, talking with my colleagues about all the things that they were buying. And I felt like it was quite a lot. Like one week they were buying a new phone, and then they were buying kind of one of those sound systems for their house. Or you know, a month after that they had all of these lights that go on like smart with their phone and stuff, and then they had something new to wear. And you know, I really started noticing like, wow people are buying a lot of stuff. And I used to be like that too. But once you kind of not necessarily have that reaction of seeing is wanting and buying, then you kind of start to see like, yeah you can buy a lot of things if you if you're not careful. Another thing that I've stopped caring about is old regrets. Just because I don't necessarily believe in regret, I believe in learning and growing. And taking something from something that you did, and feeling like wow, that kind of sucked, I wish I didn't do that. And then just trying better next time. There are some things in my life that I really wish I hadn't done, or I had done differently, and that I actively regret. But what I've stopped caring about, is holding on to that. And I've made peace with it. I've just learned from it. And I just don't think that there's any value in continuing to beat yourself up. I think why people might continue to regret things and feel bad about it, is because they don't feel like they deserve to let it go. They don't deserve to move on, because they did something kind of awful, and now they have to beat themselves up continually in order to kind of make up for that. But the thing is that you're not making up anything by beating yourself up. The person that you wronged, or the thing you did, you can't go back in time and undo it. You just can't. That's, you know, it sucks, but that's the reality. And so by continuing to beat yourself up, you're not doing the other person that you hurt a favor, or they're not gaining anything from that. The only thing that you are doing is hurting yourself. And also kind of in a weird way, victimizing yourself of being like, oh you know, really holding on to that. And I think it's okay to just let it go. And it doesn't mean that you think it's okay what you did, it's just being like okay yeah that sucks, I wish I hadn't done it. Next time I will do it differently, or I will apologize to that person if that's still an option. You know, learning from things and trying better next time. It's better for everyone involved. And the last thing that I want to talk about today, is that I've stopped caring about counting calories. Now a little trigger warning here, I will be talking about calories, food and weight. So if that's not something that you want to hear about, then I will leave a timestamp right here that you can skip to. Okay, still here? Okay. You may not know this about me, but I used to actually be a dietician. And something that kind of naturally happens when you treat patients all day, and when you, you know, design menus and diets for them, is that you start to learn how many calories things have by heart. So you start to memorize it. And you know, not just the calories, but also the carbs and the protein and everything. And that's what happened to me as well. So what happened was that I kind of just started counting my own calories. And because I was treating most patients to lose weight, I kind of started to apply those same principles to my own food. So really keeping track of the amounts of calories that I was eating, trying to keep them low, even though I really didn't need to be losing any weight. I wasn't crash dieting or anything, so I was focused definitely on eating healthy and stuff, just the way that I was taught in school. So don't get me wrong, I wasn't like crashing or anything like that. But I was trying to keep them like on the low side. After a while, I started realizing that this is not the kind of relationship that I want to have with food. You know, thinking about the numbers and stuff. I love food. I love food in all its forms. I love cooking it, making it, sharing it, talking about it. And I really just want to focus on enjoying the experience of food. Most of the time just choosing things that are good for me, that are nourishing, instead of just trying to keep the calories low. Of course, different things do work for different people. So if counting calories for you is helpful to, you know, keep everything the way that feels right for you, then definitely keep doing that. It was just not working out for me. So now is the time for you, if you want to, to leave in the comments something that you've stopped caring about, or any of these 10 that I've shared with you. Do they, you know, spark something? Let me know. I always love reading your stories. Really big thanks to Wild for supporting my channel. As always, I'll leave the links and the discount code 30% off in the description box for you. As always, questions, comments, conversations down below. Thank you so much for being here. Have a wonderful day, and I will see you all again next week. Bye bye. I am so glad to be back at filming videos. I'm just having so much fun, and I really really missed it. So it reminded me of how grateful I am to have this job.