The People's Kourt - SNL

For 20 years, we've watched the Kardashian family bicker and squabble over everything. I will literally f*** you up. Now, a new show that's also that, but with a little more structure. It's The People's Court with a K. Starring Judge Kourtney Kardashian. Order, order, order in the Kourtney. I'm good at this. Watch as she puts her judginess to good use and tackles the most serious family issues. Kim, Khloe, what's the problem? Kim stole my makeup artist. Oh my god, I needed him today. You're in your Met Gala outfit, no one can even see your face. Ugh, you're such a diva slore. You're just jealous. Fine, but the next time you need to use the restroom, I'm not helping you. Wait, for real? For real. She doesn't pull punches, she doesn't play favors, and mostly, she just doesn't care. Mom, why are you suing Kylie and Kendall? I'm suing Kylie because she hasn't had her baby yet. We have a whole marketing PR plan and she's costing us money. I can't, like, grow it faster, Mom. Uh, yes you can. Take it from me. I had Khloe, I made her in four months. So, do your Kegel exercises and use your vagine. Mom, I am. Ugh, whatever. And Mom, why are you suing Kendall? Well, I'm suing Kendall because she has absolutely no drama. She won't cause any drama and it's damaging our brand. I'm a Jenner, not a Kardashian. And that's something you need to work on, honey. Ew, this is so cringe. Guilty. Who's guilty? Me, Mom, or Kylie? I don't care. You pick. There's time for more than legal drama because even a judge has to let her hair down. With Kourtney's boyfriend, straight out of the year 2000, Blink-182's Travis Barker. Travis. Travis, baby. I have to do my show. I can't help it, Your Honor. Oh my God, did you just call me Your Honor? Yeah. Babe. Baby. Babe, you're so epic. Oh, you're so punk. Oh, you are. Oh, will you drum all the small things on my ass when we get home? Nah. Hands or sticks? Oh, baby. Baby! It's the Kardashian family like you've always seen them before. Lives will be changed. Shades will be thrown. Okay, Kim, Kanye, what's the problem? Hey, fam, I'm suing Kim because people always come after me about when I tweet, but she hacked me. What? I said Kim hacked me. Are you saying hacked? Yeah, bro. Like, okay, does this even sound like me? Who's seen the play Wicked? I've seen it four times. That ain't me, fam. That was you, Kanye. That's your favorite play. Okay, fine. I do love that musical. But what about this one? What do I have to do to get a simple Persian rug with cherub imagery? Ugh! That can't be me, fam. It was you. That's your favorite rug. Okay, fine. It's beautiful. What about this Wiz Khalifa? I like your pant. Actually, that was me. Case dismissed! This is so boring. Bring in my bailiffs and best friends, Machine Gun Kelly and Megan Fox. Hey. What's up? Why are we best friends? Because our boyfriends have tattoos for necks. Oh, right. I love him. I love you, too. I wrote you an Instagram caption, babe. Oh, that's fire. Achingly beautiful boy. Oh. Toxic. Oh. Viral. Oh. Twin flame. Rehab Barbie. Oh, I wish I could vape you. Hey, yo. Hey, yo. Keep in mind, this is coming from Kanye, but y'all weird. The People's Court. You never know who's gonna stop by. Okay. Finally, the last case on the docket. Hey, Courtney. It's me, OJ Simpson. You know. The Juice. I'm your dad's old friend. Hey, how come y'all don't invite me to anything anymore? Hey, where's everybody going? The People's Court. All judgments are legally binding. Oh, I don't know about that.