jousting FULL CONTACT medieval festival

Captain Krazy here. Putin in a medieval vest. Big ass Putin. About to watch the joust. Should be most enjoyable. Full contact. Last year, the year before when we went, right on their asses. Should be fun. Till then. Doing the real form of jousting. In fact, they're doing one of the most dangerous forms of jousting. It is a German form called Riehlgesteck. As you... God bless you. No, no, no. Not Gesundheit, but... Never mind. It is one of the most dangerous forms because as you will see, our competitors no longer carry a shield on our arm. They bolt that shield to their chest. That shield is called a grand guard. Which means they will be receiving direct body contact. Now normally that grand guard is made smooth to deflect the blow of the lance. But we put a grid upon that grand guard. It's made to catch the lance. So our competitors will be receiving 100% of the blow. To give you an idea of what they will be going through today. If you know your math and science, you know that mass times acceleration equals force. If you take the weight of the competitor, the competitor's armor and the horse, that can be some 2,500 pounds. The horses can canter down this list at approximately 20 miles an hour. So if you do the correct math, you will know that our competitors will be receiving over 5,000 pounds of pressure per square inch at 40 miles an hour. They are getting into a car accident every time they come into contact with each other. If that's not bravery to come out here and perform this act for your sick and twisted pleasure, I don't know what is. Ladies and gentlemen, give them a round of applause. Now most people think this is a very barbaric sport that we're only out here to hit each other and knock each other off the horse. Well, in a sense, that is true. But we do have a set of rules that we must follow. The rules that we follow are brought down by King Henry VIII himself. In order to score any points, you must strike that grand guard first. If you strike that grand guard and the lance skips off, you still hit your target. That will be worth one point. If you strike that grand guard and the lance manages to break by the way, it takes over 1,500 pounds of pressure to break these lances. That will be five points. And if you strike that grand guard, knocking your opponent to the ground, that will be 10 points, ladies and gentlemen. So what say you? Our competitors are now within the list. Ladies and gentlemen, our first competition will be Sir Robert against Sir William. And the winner will face Dame Jacqueline. They have their lances. They will be coming about the post. Remember, the louder you cheer, the harder they will hit as they face each other in competition. Ladies and gentlemen, cheer them on! We got a veer out. Sir Robert had a problem getting his steed up to speed. Yes! Very good. That was a strike upon Sir William. Shall we repeat that one? Sir Robert was off target. That will be one point for Sir William. They still have four passes remaining. So they're coming about. Getting their horse up to speed. Challenging each other. Ladies and gentlemen, cheer them on! We have a solid strike for Sir William. Five points for a broken lance. That will be six points. We have a strike by Sir Robert. Solid lance. One point. The score is now six to one in favor of Sir William. Sir William has his lance and is coming about. Sir Robert is about. Facing each other in combat. Ladies and gentlemen, cheer them on! It was a strike by Sir William, but it was down below the target. No points were awarded. Sir Robert was also off target. No points will be awarded. The score remains at six to one in favor of Sir William. We still have two more passes remaining. A broken lance can tie it for Sir Robert. Sir William can stick in the lead with just a strike. Who will it be? Sir William! Sir Robert! Sir William managed to hit off of the pass guard, which means no points shall be awarded. Sir Robert did not strike whatsoever. No points will be awarded. The score remains at six to one in favor of Sir William. One pass remaining. An unhorsing can win it for either competitor. Who will it be? Sir Robert! Sir William! Facing each other in combat. Coming down the lane. Cheer on your knight! We have a solid strike for Sir William. Broken lance. Five more points. Brings him to eleven. We have a solid strike for Sir Robert. Solid lance. One point. Brings him to two. And a score of eleven to two. Victory, Sir William of York! Ladies and gentlemen, a round of applause for a job well done for Sir Robert. Now this side here. Ladies and gentlemen, she is your champion. Facing Sir William. It will need all of the energy that she can muster and she gets that through you. Make sure you cheer long and hard for Dame Jacqueline. She is within the list receiving her lance. Sir William is coming about the post. Sir William, Dame Jacqueline, who will it be as they face each other in combat? And charged down the lane. Cheer them on! Solid strike for Dame Jacqueline. Her lance stayed in contact. That will be one point. Was it a solid strike for Sir William? Solid strike for Sir William. Broken lance. Five points. The score begins at five to one. In favor of Sir William. Coming about the post. They are ready. Ladies and gentlemen, remember, the louder you cheer, the harder they will hit. Make sure you give them your cheer. We have a miss by Sir William. No points awarded. A miss by Dame Jacqueline. No points awarded. Looks like we had a problem. We're checking on Sir William. He is well. He is receiving his lance. He is going again. It is five to one in favor of Sir William. They have both received their lances. Coming about. Facing each other. Making their way down the lane. Cheer them on! Solid strike by both. It looks like Dame Jacqueline broke her lance. She did not. With that unhorsing, Dame Jacqueline did strike, which will give her one point, which is two. With the unhorsing for Sir William, that's ten points in the lead. Sir William, fifteen to two. Dame Jacqueline is back on her feet. Is she going to continue? She's going to continue! We have two passes remaining. Dame Jacqueline still has the chance to get back into this competition, ladies and gentlemen. You saw how hard she hit the ground and willing to get back up on that horse. Ladies and gentlemen, give her your praise and your accolades. Ladies and gentlemen, are you enjoying yourselves so far? Well then please, remember, after the competition, stick around. You have a chance to come over and pet the knights and meet the horses. We'll stick with that. But please, it will be over at the big white tent afterwards. You can come over and talk to the knights. We also have horse rides. You love one of these beautiful destiers. Not only can you look at them, but for a mere five pound note, you can actually get on one of these wonderful animals, take a trip around the arena. All the proceeds go towards the care and feeding of these animals, including the horses. Also, while you're coming over to meet your favorite knight, we have the souvenir stand. We have t-shirts, we have broken lance tips, actual lance pieces we've broken here on the field. Take home a genuine, authentic souvenir. Have it autographed so you have a memory to last forever. And while you are shopping, do not forget to stop by the cot with the umbrella on top. We have popcorn and sodas. That way you can spend more time talking to your favorite knight and finding out exactly what they go through. Ladies and gentlemen, I'll ask you once again, do you enjoy your joust? Are you ready to see more? We have two passes remaining. The score is 15-2 in favor of Sir William. Oh, come on, good people! Ladies and gentlemen, have you not seen how hard these competitors hit? Are you not impressed? And ladies and gentlemen, let them hear it! Thank you very much! As I said, they get their energy from you. It is your cheers and your accolades. They have two passes remaining. Dame Jacqueline still has a chance. They have received. They're coming up on the post, facing each other in combat. Ladies and gentlemen, cheer on your knight! No strike for Dame Jacqueline. Solid strike. Broken lats. Sir William brings him to 20! 20-2. We have one more pass. One final pass. Are you ready to see that final pass? No, no, no, no. Ladies and gentlemen, you are many. And I am one, even though I have the magical Fosbee. But I can still be louder than you! That is what we like to hear. Here we are. One final pass. Dame Jacqueline versus Sir William. They are receiving their lances. Sir William is ready. Dame Jacqueline is coming up on the post. This is the last chance, ladies and gentlemen. Give them your voices! He's still upon the horse. Yes. There's a solid strike by Dame Jacqueline. That will be worth one point. Was it a solid strike for Sir William? Solid strike? Solid strike. Sir William broke a lance. Five more points. One point it broke afterwards? Very well. One point. So thusly, at a final score of 21-3, your victor, Sir William! Ladies and gentlemen! Give them your voices! Solid strike by Sir Robert with a broken lance bringing it to 16! Solid strike by Sir William. Broken lance. Five points. Ladies and gentlemen! You have just seen a very rare sight. These lances are only in each important round and they managed to strike the tips together. They did not strike each other. The tips of the lances struck each other. Wow. Very amazing sight. It is still 5-0 in favor of Sir William. Will he retain the lead? Will Sir Robert surpass Sir William? It is all up to you black people to come up on the post. Cheer on! Solid strike by Sir Robert. He did break the lance. Five points for Sir Robert. But a solid strike and an unholy scene for Sir William. 10 points for his hit at 20! Ladies and gentlemen! Give them your voices! Solid strike by Sir Robert. One point. But solid strike. Broken lance by Sir William. 5 more points. 325! Sir Robert, here we go. Sir Robert will yield. Will he win or stay? Sir William! Ladies and gentlemen! Have you enjoyed yourselves? Yes! Welcome to the movie as hollowed out as possible. Let's give them a round of applause. Beats the horses. Yes. Also, they will be over at the white tent there where we have two years of character mania. Don't forget about the war horse ride. Ladies and gentlemen! Beats the knights. Beats the horses. Take the horse ride. Until next time, we are the knights!