WORK WEEK IN MY LIFE 9-5: last day of my job, finishing accutane, birthday dinner, target shopping

I have no idea if I want to say this on the internet or not. Good morning, everyone. Welcome to a week in my life. Welcome back. It's Monday. This is my very last day at my job. If you guys watch last week's video, I resigned and I put in my two weeks. So my very last day is this Friday, not believe it. It's like the weirdest feeling ever. Like it hasn't hit me that I'm leaving this job. Like this week, I'm kind of like closing everything out. I told them that I would prepare everything. I probably should not have offered to do this. They didn't even ask. I offered. I probably should not have, but I was like, I'll like prepare everything like for the end of the month to be ready. So I have a week to do in months worth of work. I don't know why I agreed to do that, but I did. It's a really weird feeling quitting a job that you strongly dislike and then feeling guilty about it. Like, I don't know why I feel this way, but I do. I don't know. It's really weird. Really, really weird. I'm actually freezing cold. So yesterday it was raining all night, which is so cool in Arizona. I just like it had not been getting cold and it finally got cold. And the one thing about where my bagels time, let me go get her. So if you guys remember, I bought this condo back in May or April. Sometime like that. I have a window and a sliding glass door. And this place is pretty old. This place is like about as old as my parents are. Oh, my God. Mom, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean it like that. I just meant like this house could have like raised me again. I did not mean to call you old mom watching this. You're not old. I'm so sorry. I did not mean like that. What I'm trying to say, let me let me rephrase that. This is not like this place has been built in the past five years. This place is, I don't want to say old. Anyways, I have a window and a sliding glass door that are original at the home and they let in a lot of the outdoor air in. I really do want to replace them, but it is so expensive. I had no idea how expensive it was to replace windows and sliding glass doors. I did not expect for them to cost that price. When I was quoted, I was like, well, like that's the price of a car. What? You're kidding me. Like, there's no there's no way. So I did not end up going through with replacing them. But I went through all of Arizona summer, all hundred and ten plus, you know, like really hot weather, letting the hot air in. And I was like, it's fine. Like I'm whatever, like I can deal with it. But the cold, it's not even as cold as it's going to be. But the cold air coming in, I'm like freezing cold. I don't know how you guys do it in your colder months and the places that you live, that's really cold. Granted, I do live in a really warm climate. And I whenever I say that, people are like, well, I couldn't do like the warm weather. And I'm like, touche. I don't even think I can do the warm weather, though. That's the thing. I just kind of hide inside. I sent my friend an audio message and I was like, I have no idea if you know what I'm talking about. And she was I immediately knew what you meant. And I was like, ah, friendship. So anyways, moral of that story is I might actually have to replace these windows and sliding glass door. I just didn't expect for it to be bad. I really thought that the winter was going to be easier than the summer, but I was wrong. I stand corrected. But we're eating our pumpkin bagels. It's in my mind. I'm like November is Christmastime, but I still have these pumpkin bagels. I actually want to show you guys kind of like what I'm thinking about decorating for Christmas, because I used to be a really big November 1st I decorate for Christmas kind of person just because I feel like one month, 25 days is not enough time to really spread the Christmas joy and cheer. But last year, I will admit, and this was the first year this ever happened to me, I was feeling so overwhelmed by the Christmas decor. It was like making me feel claustrophobic. And I think it was just because I had like such a big tree and like such a small space. This new place is bigger than my last one. So I don't know if that will be as much of an issue. But I just felt so like crammed constantly. And it was like stressing me out. Like it was visually stressing me out. I'm like weary to put up the Christmas decorations too soon this year. But again, I have a bigger place this year. So I'm like, maybe I'll be better. Also, bagels have been cream cheesed. Delicious. I always talk about this one, but the whipped cream cheese from Philadelphia is way better than any kind of regular cream cheese. And it's like lower calorie, which I guess I don't even know. But it just tastes better. So I still have the bats on the wall from Halloween. I do need to take those down. I will admit I do need to take them down. But I was thinking of keeping the rest of the fall stuff for like one, maybe two more weeks. I feel like I didn't decorate for fall as soon as I wanted to. Like usually I like to do it in September because like I said, one month of decorations just does not feel like enough. Like it feels like you put them up and then you take them down a second later. So I feel like I didn't like to enjoy them as much as I wanted to. So I was thinking of enjoying the fall decor for like one to two more weeks, then decorating for Christmas and hearing me out on this. I was thinking of doing this where I could put up my Christmas tree in November and then decorate my Christmas tree after Thanksgiving. Because I did that one year and I actually really loved it because it was such a vibe of like just like the tree alone, no decorations with just like the lights, like the ambiance of it. And I was like, yeah, like that, it felt cool. Like I liked it. So I think that's what I'm going to do. So I can like get a little bit of best of both worlds. Also, my mom is so cute and got this for me. She got it from Costco. It was like a three pack of Santa's and she was like, well, I don't need three. So she gave me one, my sister won and then she kept one. And look at him. He's so cute. He's winking. So he's the only Christmas to where I have out right now. But I love him. I thought he was so cute. So thank you, mom. I appreciate it. I love him. But I take my Prozac. I am on now my like, I just passed my third week of taking this. So I still have not taken it for long enough to see the benefits from it. But we'll get there and I'll keep you guys updated. But so far, I'm not experiencing any more side effects through this. Delicious. Just kidding. Finishing up my work week this week is going to be the weirdest experience ever. I like have not processed this is all happening. I need to process a little bit. I just had my dermatologist appointment over my lunch break. I've officially graduated from Accutane for the second time now. Kind of third, actually, but I've been on Accutane twice. I don't know if I had to go back to this dermatologist that I had. I feel like they just I don't think that I'd go back. The quality of care was probably not what I would have loved. But it's done. I'm glad it's over. I was like, what should I do now? Like, is there a certain skincare routine or what? She's like, just moisturize. And I was like, OK, but like, what if like, I don't know. I just I feel like I've always seen people after Accutane, their dermatologist will recommend like certain topicals or like not right away, maybe. But just some type of something skincare routine. And I was like, what should I do about this? What should I do about this? And she was like, yeah, yeah, you're fine. And I'm like, OK, what? I don't know why I was a little annoyed about that. I feel like I always leave that place getting annoyed. And that's why I feel like I am not the biggest fan of it. But I'm graduated from Accutane. I technically have two more pills left in my little pill pack. I'll take that one today and then tomorrow and then we'll be all done. Graduating. We're ending a lot of a lot of things this week. My job, my Accutane. What's next? I don't know. Hello, I'm back home. It's super dark out. I wanted to go on a walk, but it was already too late. So it's crazy how the sun is like going down so fast. But I do have some Amazon hauls because I'm bucks. Also, my friend and I made cookies last night and I ate a lot of them. I just love a cookie. I'm really sad I wanted to go on the walk, but my drive home takes so much longer now than it used to. I've kind of mentioned this a little bit, but number one, there's always construction in Arizona. Number two, Arizona has snowbirds. And if you don't know what that is, it's when people from colder climates move to Arizona in the winter. So like people from the Midwest or people that like live in places where it snows move to Arizona, move to Florida, moves like warmer climates in the winter to kind of escape the snow when they're really cold weather. So we call them snowbirds. And it just makes Arizona a lot more populated, which makes the freeways longer, like take up more space. And it takes longer to get home and all that stuff. And typically it's older people who are snowbirds. My dream is to be a snowbird if I'm for real, like I don't hate them because I want to be them. I get annoyed by them because they inconvenience me, but through and through, I respect them because they're living my dream life. So anyways, no hate to the snowbirds, just straight jealousy. Because of them, my commute takes minimum 10 minutes, maximum 45 minutes longer than it needs to. So no offense to them, but like a little annoying, a little annoying. I always think it's so interesting because I'm like, aren't most of these people retired? Like why are they on the roads right now? But it's probably, there's also like a good amount of snowbirds who actually like work. But I'm like, can they like go into their corporate office in Arizona, but then like not go into the corporate office when they're not here? Like, I don't understand it. I really don't get it. But I'm like, I just know that when it cools down is when the traffic is extreme. So last night I got this laundry basket because I have a laundry basket, I have two laundry baskets. And one of them broke. Both of them were actually on the verge of breaking. So I've talked about this in the past. I don't have any unit laundry in my condo. There's like a communal wash and dryer. So I bring my laundry basket over there and I have like a soft plastic laundry basket and it ripped, which is really unfortunate. And the handle ripped off. So I got this and I thought this was nice. Hello, let me open. Essentially what this is, is there a photo of it? There is not. It's like a two tiered, not two tiered, like a double laundry basket for like lights and colors. And then inside of it, you put a laundry bag. It's almost like a trash can. If you think about like a double trash can and then you put a laundry bag and then I can take the laundry bag to my communal and not have to bring the whole thing, which I thought is nice. Okay, so these are the laundry bags. So you kind of put them in just like a trash bag. Are they big? I hope they're big. Oh, they're really not that big. And I usually pack my laundry. Usually my laundry is way more full. Maybe, this is kind of wide. No, I think that there's potential here. So we'll have to set this up. And then I also got, this is home ownership guys. I never thought I'd be someone to buy these because I don't know, these are just things that you don't consider that you have to buy. I bought a new water filter for my fridge because every six months you're supposed to replace it and mine reminded me that I needed to replace it. So yeah, this is, I got it on Amazon because it was cheaper on Amazon than it was from the website because you had to pay for shipping on the website and Amazon, it was free. I have no idea how I'm going to replace this. I'm sure there's like a YouTube video somewhere. Oh, it's right there. I see it, it says water filter. I will be honest, I don't want to do it right now. I'm just not in the mood to do it right now, but I will do it. I'll put it on my to-do list for tomorrow or the next day. I still have like a week left, it said. So I'm fine, I don't need to do it like right away. I have Pilates at 7.30 and then, so that's like in an hour. And then after Pilates, I want to go to Target because my friend's birthday is tomorrow. Tomorrow is actually election day. So I feel bad that her birthday's on election day. But we're going to dinner for her birthday and I wanted to get her like little candles to like put in a cake or something like that so she can like blow out on her birthday and like candles for like, she's turning 24. So thought that'd be a cute little gift. I need to pee really, really badly and then I have a bunch of laundry that I need to put away and then I'll build this laundry basket. We're about to head out to Pilates. I have my Pilates socks in my purse. Oh, I just realized I need to grab my water bottle. I actually left my other water bottle at my friend's house. So let's put this one in here. Okay, time to Pilates. Oh, almost did that. Just finished up with the Pilates. I almost ate shit. Like I almost fell face first. I'm so glad I caught myself, but I was like, oh. Sometimes, okay, if you guys do workout classes, do you ever experience this where like some days I'm like, oh my god, I just, I just like hit a PR. I just impressed myself. I can't believe I did that. And then some days I'm like, oh my, why can I not do the simplest thing that I've been able to do for like months, years? Like what's going on? Like some days I'm so much better than other days. But we're going to go to Target. I hate people that rev their engines like that. But like I said, Target for candles. And then I think I mentioned this, but I want to get a new nail polish. I really only own two nail polishes. One of them is this red color. I peeled my pointer finger off and it's kind of like gloopy to the point that I can't really use it anymore. Like I've had it for like two years now and it's like kind of getting to the point where it's like, it's so thick and it's like running out. And then I have like a burgundy maroon color, like kind of like purple plum color, which I really like. But I want to get like, wait, the other one that I have is not burgundy. I kind of want to get like a deep red color because I really can't use this one anymore because it's like basically out and it's like unusable. And so I want to get a new red nail polish because I love red nail polish. And I don't know why I'm like going into this, but I want to get like a deep darker red because I feel like that's like such a slay. And I feel like that'll be nice for like the winter months and everything. So we'll try to get one. Oh my God, this girl literally just like pulled up and she's like looking at me vlogging and like laughed at me. That was like, I don't, I, yeah. Okay, we're going to map ourselves to Target and then go there. Time for Target. We're at Target right now. They actually have really cute clothes, but I was like, okay, we're not here for clothes. That can be another time. But I do need to get birthday candles. Here's the thing. These are ugly. Like this is what I wanted. I could also do this. I kind of wanted to get the 24, but I just don't know if that's going to slay. Also, I'm pretty sure one of my friends got me this for my birthday a couple of years ago and it didn't like turn out. Like it didn't work. So I'm thinking of maybe just getting this, like the happy. I don't know if we have enough though. I don't know if we have like enough things to like put this on, you know? Okay, so maybe not. I feel like that's ideal. You know what? I'm just going to get her this. Really hope that'll work. They're like little sparklers. But I just remember my friend got me that and it didn't work, but I did try it like a year later. So maybe that's why. I don't know. I could do both. I feel like this is the better option because I like, I know that the shoe, like I want to give her like a photo op opportunity. You know what I mean? I know she's not a crown type of girl either. Let's hope this works out. And then there's the Christmas stuff that I should not be looking at, but I really want to. This is so simple, but it's like so cute. Like why am I obsessed with that? Love. Oh, that's cute. See, I hate that I do this to myself. I really have not been the Christmas section in so long. I don't think I've seen the Christmas section yet. This is, this is really cute. A little advent calendar. Look at the little house. I love this. This is so cute. This is also really cute. I need to get out of here because this is dangerous. As I walked to the other Christmas section. Oh, is this on sale? No, I just want it all. What am I here for? Nail polish. That's the other thing that I'm here for, and that's it. But this, it smells incredible in here. Oh my gosh, I used to have one of these when I was younger. This is so nostalgic to me. Oh, this one is not the same. Mine like lit entirely up and it was like a really old bulb and we were always really afraid it was going to catch on fire, but that did not stop me from turning it on all the time. This is also really cute. Okay, I need to get out of here. These plates are cute. Okay, Keegan. That's cute. I do want a wreath. I don't need it though. I don't need it, Keegan. Somebody left their baby clothes here. Okay, these dish towels are, okay, you know what? I can't keep saying things are cute, but at least I'm not buying any of it. So a win is a win. Cute, cute. Okay, I don't like the stockings as much. I really liked that gingham one. I thought that was really cute. Okay, let's go to the beauty stuff. This is stunning. I love this. This is kind of overpriced, $30 because it looks really thin and it looks really small, but I do like it. I do like it a lot. One last thing that I think is cute is this. Let's leave, let's leave, let's leave and let's look at some nail polish. Okay, so full transparency. Essie is my favorite, but they don't really have like the type of shade that I'm looking for. This is the one that I think I have. This is the type of shade. Wait, which one of these is the one I'm looking for? I'm thinking of like this one, like a super deep red. What is this one called? This one's called got the blues for red. I don't know why it's looking brown on here, but I feel like this is the type of red that I'm looking for. So we're going to try OPI. I really haven't ventured much into OPI because I'm new to the nail polish game. So I'll try it out and I'll let you guys know what I think. They also have this one, which is like a shimmery version of it, but I do think I like the non-shimmery. This one I've also heard is like a solid true good red. I think that's kind of like what I already own, although it's like already out, but I really want to try this deep dark red. Now I'm overthinking that it's like too deep of a red, like too dark. I just should just get it and just like call it a night. Like I love doing this, but I've been standing here forever and I'm like, is it too much? Is it too much? But I'm like, I don't know. We secured the goods. I'm like so excited that it's chilly out here. Like I get I'm wearing a tank top, but I just walked outside. I was like, oh my God, it's a little chilly. Like this is so exciting, but time to go home. I think when I get home, I'm going to shower and then finish putting away the rest of my laundry. I had hung it all. I just need to like put it in its like color coded spot and then probably all I'll do. I should change the water filter. There was another thing that I needed to do. Oh yeah. I mean, aside from wanting to go on a walk, it was just, oh and replace the water filter, but like that's not, that's not a today problem. I did want to go on a walk, but like I said, it was just too dark. So I need to start thinking ahead and doing that earlier. And then I, I also really want to get new, like walking, running shoes this week. The ones that I have, I don't know why. I feel like I have the weirdest feet ever. I feel like I should lock my door. I feel like I have weird feet that like don't fit well in shoes. And I constantly am like, it's hurting my feet and my feet don't feel like they're flat. Like sometimes they feel like uneven or like they get blisters randomly. Like, I don't know. I feel like I have not been able to find a good pair of walking shoes. And so I've been doing a lot of research. The ones that keep coming up through my research are the Asics something, something, something. I wrote it down somewhere. I think I'm going to try those because I feel like I've tried, I've tried Hoka's. I've tried Dickey's. I've tried Adidas. I've tried, uh, what's the ones that have Brooks? Like I've tried a bunch of different ones that I feel like everybody always recommends. So we're going to try that brand and I'm really hoping that it will work out. I don't know if it will, but I'm just tired of like having to buy new shoes all the time because the ones that I wear just don't ever fit my feet well. And I even went to a store called Roadrunner that like measures your feet and like makes you walk and like find shoes that are perfect for your feet. And the ones that they recommended for me still don't work well. So I'm just tired of spending the money on it. But I'm like, I really want to get back into walking. I love walking. I just feel like I haven't gone on like these long walks that I really want to because I haven't had the shoes that like support me in the way that like don't hurt my feet, my back, my knees, all of that. And I don't want to hurt myself. So we're going to try it this week. I think on Wednesday, my friend and I are going to go. So fingers crossed that it will work out. But time to go home. Good morning, happy Tuesday. Today is the election day, actually. I don't feel too stressed today because I don't think we'll know the election results today. I think that it will take multiple days like it did last time. This is my second time voting in a presidential election. I mailed in my ballot or I dropped off my mail-in ballot two weeks ago, if you guys remember. I vlogged that. I hope all of you guys voted. Very important. I put my little sticker on. I saved my sticker because I wanted to wear it today. Obviously stressed, but I just don't think that we're going to get the election results today. So I'm not letting myself be stressed because I'm like, there's no point. Well, there is a point, but you know what I mean. You know what I mean. If it's not going to happen today, we're not going to find out the election results. I've been trying to get better at this. I talk about this with my therapist a lot of separating what I can control and what I can't control. I mean, I can't control the election. All I can control is the fact that I voted and that I mailed in my ballot and that I checked that my ballot was counted. It was, woo! But I don't even know what I'm saying. I would get really anxious about a lot of things and separating what I can control and what I can't control has really helped me ease my anxiety a lot. Like I'll give you an example. Like I had a friend who was really stressed that their baggage was going to get lost in a layover. And I was like telling them, I was like, well, you can't really control if that does happen, but there are things that you can control. You can put an air tag in your bag. You can put a luggage tag on your bag with like your phone number in case it gets lost. You can Google the airport's policy if they lose their bag. Like you can like kind of prepare for that, but you can't control if they lose your bag. So before you go to bed, if you've done all these things, then you have to like force yourself not to stress about it because you've done everything you can. I don't know if that makes any sense. I don't think that was like the best example, but it's helped my anxiety a lot is knowing what I can control and what I can't control. And I've done everything that I possibly can. So democracy. I will admit I do get my news from TikTok, but I will watch like news channels on TikTok. I'll watch like live streams of it on there just because I don't have it on my TV, but I've been watching the news all morning and like seeing what everyone's saying. So anyway, it's a little nervous, but that is what it is. I'm wearing my leather jacket today. This is my first time wearing this leather jacket. I woke up, I turned my air conditioning off on Sunday and it's 67 degrees in here. Freezing cold. It's only gonna get colder too, which is crazy. So I eventually I'm gonna have to turn my heat on and I'm worried to do that like I was talking about earlier. So my friend's birthday is today. I texted her happy birthday. Oh, anyways, I'm just, I don't even know what I am. I'm gonna watch more TikToks of the news. Also, I feel like my skin has been like looking really weird, like discolored a lot recently. Like, especially like around my nose and my lip and just like, there's been so much discoloration and I don't know what, I don't know what it is. So I look at the mirror and I'm like, oh, it looks a little scary if I'm being honest. Hello, I'm home from work. I had the news on. So my friend's birthday dinner is tonight, like I said. So what I wore to work today is this bodysuit from Amazon. These are from Levi's. I'm gonna steam that and boots on and I actually put on a leather jacket cause it's been cold. Forgot to take my Prozac. I'm actually like, did I take it or did I not? Like I can never remember if I took it. Like I will take it and then five seconds later be like, did I take this? I don't remember. So I'm considering getting one of those like Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday pill packs. So I will actually remember if I took it or not. Cause it's not remembering to take it. It's remembering if I took it is the problem. I told my friend I'd pick her up at 5.50 and it's 5.46 right now. And she was like, I don't think I'll be home by then. And I was like, okay, good. Gives me more time to get ready. So we're going to this nice sushi restaurant and I am gonna wear the exact same outfit that I wore to work. So it's like, it's a cute outfit, you know, like a leather jacket, like an all black moment, cute. But I put some makeup on just like concealer, blush, powder. I kind of did everything except for foundation, honestly. But I'm like, my hair is looking so flat. I don't know how to fix it. I want to fix it, but I don't really know how to. Ooh, you know what? I bought this from my hairdresser. It's the IGK Beach Club Touchable Texture Spray. Cause I saw a TikTok like kind of put it in her roots. No, not feeling that. Also, so my work had a happy hour for me, actually. Like a going away happy hour is really nice of them. And then today is the election and it kind of got like an awkward election debate between some people. And I was like, this is awkward. I want to go home. Okay, low key. Like, I don't know if I'd say this looks good. What if I just like, I put dry shampoo in it and usually dry shampoo kind of adds some like volume to your hair. But instead it like flattened my hair more. I don't think I'm, I'm not digging the hair. That looks, I feel like it looks stupid. I kind of want to do like a, maybe like a half up, half down type of moment. What do we think about that? I feel like that has more potential. So I got the candles obviously for my friend and then I'm going to bring my little digital camera to take like a cute photo of her with the candles, you know? Okay, so problem is my hair is not staying in the half up, half down because it's too short. Um, okay. I need to find some, that looks stupid. We found bobby pins. I could do like, would that look stupid? No, honestly, I feel like if I did this right, it could look good. But now that I'm thinking of it, in the past I tried to do it right and did not turn out good. I'm also pulling all my hair out. I don't really know what I'm saying anymore. But anyways, yeah, I had a work happy hour. It's always really interesting how like, you can spend 40 hours a week with a person or with like a group of people, never run out of things to talk about. And then the second you're in like a different environment, you like don't know what to say to them. It's really weird. Like why, why can we sit at a desk and like talk about literally anything? But then the second we're sitting like at a restaurant, no one knows what to say to each other. Like why is it like that? And it's always like that, you know? Like that awkward silence. That's never there at work. How do I feel about this? The hair's a little, a little bumpy. I don't love it. Also, this is not smoothing out. This is how my perfectionism is coming out. Can you guys see it? It's always the bumps in the hair. Why is it always the bumps in the hair that like drive me up a wall? I never care if the back of my hair looks good. If I'm being honest, the back of my hair is none of my business ever. Only the front of my hair. No, but I did just pull out like a piece right here. Okay, trying again. Take two. Why is this like this? I feel like I'm like sweating from the pressure. It's still a little bumpy, but I think I should quit while I'm ahead as I keep messing with my hair. No, I feel like I can't quit while I'm ahead because I still, I don't feel like I'm ahead. I just feel like I don't like the way my hair looks. It doesn't really matter, I guess. I'm gonna put in these little like croissant-y earrings that I got from Amazon. Ow! Do you ever like stab your ear and miss the hole and then you just like completely just stab it? Why won't this one go in? Ow, ow. It hurt. Dude, I'm not feeling the hair right now. Should I do something different to it? It's just the lack of volume. That's really not that big of a deal, but at the same time, I'm like, I wanna look cute. What do you guys think? I feel like it looks better in the viewfinder than it does in person. Probably just kind of, that looks horrible. Okay, I need to shut up. Do you ever like do this to yourself? I'm not even like recognizing the fact that I'm filming this. I'm just like talking out loud to myself. I feel like that might look better. Is that better? It looks worse. Okay, I'm gonna stop filming. I'd say happy Wednesday, but it's not a happy day. That's how I feel. Well, I feel so scary right now. I'm so dark. I'm working from home today. Thank God. My new boss or my new like manager for my new job called me this morning. Oh my, she called me. And at first I was really scared. I've been like very like paranoid that they're gonna rescind the offer. I don't know why. I just saw somebody like make a LinkedIn post about how like they had a job and then the job like didn't work out. You know, there's just things, there's always like economy things and you know. I don't know. So I've been like so paranoid. She's like, hey, do you have like five minutes to chat? I was like, oh my God, are they at the gig? And tell me that like they removed the position. But she was like, oh, you'll get like your laptop in the mail and like monitors and stuff like that. And I was like, oh, I was so scared. She was gonna say that like they just decided to remove the position or something like that. I don't know, but I'm just feeling sad today. Okay, I'm just glad I'm working from home today and I don't have to like be around people. That's how I feel. I've already cried a few times. Honestly, I'm not gonna lie. I need to add to my cry log. Um, I feel like today is just like a heavy day for a lot of people and it is what it is. But I wanted to distract myself. And so I decorated my journal. I talked about this in the past that I journal a ton and I did a lot today and I want to start decorating the front of them almost as book covers for what's inside of it. And so I'm almost done with this one. Like this is how much I have left of it. And so I thought that it would be nice because I kind of already know what I wrote in here. So I wanted to like enjoy it as well with it being all cute. So since I'm like three fourths of the way done, maybe two thirds of the way done, I decorated it. So I actually already had these stickers. So I put my, I voted sticker on it. Um, and then these were all stickers I actually already had because I'm a real tough kid and I can handle my shit. They said, babe, got to fake it till you make it. And I did. I feel like that was very representative of me going through a really hard time with my job and finding a new job. And then the, the, I don't know if you go, no death by a thousand cuts. It has a traffic license, it'll be all right. They say, I don't know. I feel like that really represents how I feel right now. Um, and then I put heiress tour color stickers, like stars on here. And then I had these ones as well that I just kind of decorated it with. These are the three main like themes, probably of like the notebook and the rest are just kind of to make it cute. But I don't know. Just been trying to do what I can today. I hope everyone is taking care of themselves. I know there's gonna be some people that are like annoyed by me talking about this. Whatever. It is what it is. Life is a really weird thing. Anyways, let me get back to work and I'll talk to you guys later. Ah, happy Thursday, everyone. I don't even know if I got footage this morning. I don't think I did. I have this cardigan that I wear every single day to work. I like leave it on my chair and I brought it home because tomorrow is my last day of work. I'm so excited that tomorrow is my last day. Am I sweating fish? But I'm very, very, very, very, very excited for something. And that is the new Alani winter wonderland. They sent these to me. I literally went to three stores trying to find them. They didn't have them. And then I got a DM from Alani that they were sending it to me and I freaked out. So I have it in my fridge so I can try it tomorrow morning. So excited. I honestly don't expect to like it because I don't really like coconut and it's berry and coconut apparently. But I'm just, I'm so excited to try it. I have a SPED class tonight and I was gonna go with one of my friends but then she canceled on me. But I didn't want to pay the cancellation fee so I'm still going. I don't really want to but we can do hard things, you know. So figuring it out, making it work. But that's what I'm up to. This bodysuit is from Zara and then I'm wearing literally cargo pants. I never thought I'd wear cargo pants to work. But yeah, I'm wearing cargo pants. They're from PacSun. I was saying that my boss called me yesterday about getting my stuff shipped and they tried dropping off my laptop today but they needed a signature. So I just signed the slip that they left so they can deliver it tomorrow. I'm gonna become... Oh wait, she told me she gave me a phone, a credit card, monitors, and a laptop. And I was like, oh my God, haul. Crazy, crazy, crazy, crazy. I've been talking to a lot of people like online about just how we're all feeling about everything going on and it's just such a heavy tone and just such a heavy feeling. I'm trying to be really hard to try to look on the bright sides of things but it is not always easy when they're just not as apparent, you know? I love you guys. I just wanted to say that. I wish I could hug like every single woman in my life right now but I'm probably just gonna rot on my couch for a little bit until it's time for my spin class. Scrolled on my phone for a little bit, changed into, I have my Taylor Swift crew neck and then I have my little Amazon workout top, Saloon Lemon leggings. Going to fill up my water and then head off to spin. And yeah, that's how I'm feeling. Good morning, everyone and happy Friday. Today is the very last day of my job and I've never been so excited for something in my entire life. I truly never thought this day was going to come. I thought I was going to be stuck at this job for the rest of my life. I am so happy. Oh, I'm so happy. It doesn't feel real. I also painted my nails last night. So fun fact, actually, I had that spin class, right? I am like worried that I'm starting to get sick and what's annoying about my job is even if you're sick, you still have to go in which is like, what the fuck? I'm like worried that I'm starting to feel sick and I was like, okay, like a really high intensity workout is just like not going to make me feel better. So I went over there, checked in and then left. And then I went home and I painted my nails and I went to sleep really early. I think the sleep definitely helped. I think I've been like sleep deprived, but I painted my nails this color that I got from Target. It's Opia. I got blues for red. I was hoping it'd be more of like a, like a red. It's like more maroon, you know? So sad, but whatever. It's okay. I'm still in the nail painting era. Still trying to like learn how to paint my nails and do it all. I literally checked in for that spin class and left. I think that I've realized I don't really enjoy high intensity workouts. And I also think that one thing that I'm realizing too is like I try to convince myself and force myself to do things that I don't want to do and then I just end up not doing them anyways. So I was just like, okay, I have like three passes left I think for spin classes. I was like, I'm just going to waste them. I'm just not going to use them because I would rather not use them than sign up for classes and then not go to them and then have to like pay the cancellation fee. So it's a really good lesson to myself that I can't just like force myself to do things that I don't want to do. Like I have to like actually want to do something. And so if I'm paying money for something I can't just like force myself to do it. But I'm in a great mood today because it's my last day. We're drinking a Cherry Slush Alani because I tried the new Winter Wonderland. They sent these to me. I was so excited. This stuff is so gross. I had once of it instantly. Like I'm filmed a TikTok of me trying it for the first time. So if you want to see my reaction, go there. But it is literally disgusting and I'm so sorry. I'm just not a coconut fan and there's coconut in it. It's berry and coconut. I've loved every Alani flavor I've tried. That one is by far my least favorite. And I was texting my friend who is equally obsessed with Alani as me and they were like, now the trick, this is what they said. Now the tricky part is, do you say it's gross because you want Alani to keep sending you stuff but you want to be genuine to your followers. And I said, I'm going to be honest. It's gross. I'm sorry. I love Alani. Alani, I just spent so much money on Alani. So much money. Please know I still love you Alani if you're watching this, I doubt you are. But love Alani, just not that flavor. Cherry slush and witch's brew will always be my top two. I think. Wait, somebody said, somebody said, I saw this TikTok the other day. That was like, if you were Jesus, just bear with me here, right? If you were Jesus, what would the blood and body of Christ be? Like how his is like wine and bread. And everyone was like saying like really funny things. And I was like, cherry slush Alani and Arisa's eggs would be the blood and body. I thought that was so funny. I giggled. But yeah, I'm really sad because I was so excited to try the new flavor and I didn't like it. So a little disappointing, but it is what it is. But yeah, today is my very last day of work. I also have this heater. I know that's like embarrassing, but my home is 64 degrees right now, which is really cold in Arizona. Cause keep in mind it's dry. So 64 and a dry heat feels different than like 64 and humidity heat. So I have this little space heater that my mom got me for Christmas like years ago right here. We're going to turn her on. I'm going to move my Alani out of the line of heat, but yeah, I usually will put this on in my bathroom. It'll warm me up. So nice. Just, you know, who needs a fireplace when you have this thing? Smells like weed. I don't know who's smoking weed at 7am in the morning. No judgment though. I'm going to turn my heater on in my car. I haven't turned my heater on in like at all this year. I just realized this will be the very last time I ever drive this way to work and then drive home. And I'm so excited that this will be the last time because I genuinely hate this drive. This drive has made me unbelievably miserable. It's just the worst freeway. Like, this is like the best day of my entire life that I never have to do this again. And it, oh, I just turned the max air conditioning on. That's not what we wanted. But yeah, I am so excited. Like, it doesn't feel real. This is my last time doing this. Like, it doesn't feel like, oh, like, I feel like on Monday I'm going to go back to work, but I'm not going, I'm going to go back to work, but to a new job on Monday. And I'm just so excited. I'm so, okay, let's go to work. Our last day. Oh, the back of my back just touched my chair and it was freezing. I just left. I just left my job. This feels so weird. It doesn't, like, feel real. It just looks like I'm, like, not going to come back. Oh, it feels so weird. I'm, like, sweating. I just had my exit interview. I was stressed. Okay, but time to drive home. This is my very last time I'll ever have to do this drive. And this drive sucks. Oh, great, there's so much traffic. 90% of the freeway is yellow or red on my directions home. Cool, but, oh, this is an end of an era. And I'm so happy. Bye.