My Husband Wants To Sell Our House and Live In A Trailer

[Music] brought to you by the every dooll app start budgeting for free today so my husband and I were having a conversation um about our finances and he thinks that we have too much house basically um and thinks that even though we don't have any debt we should sell our house use the profit and buy something really cheap and he was thinking really cheap like a $3,000 trailer he saw on Facebook Marketplace um so that we can just live mortgage free I don't really want to do that and wanted to get some is your husband nearby no he's not right now oh I was gonna put him on the phone for a moment and uh as a man who's been married 26 years in County tell him that he's lost his ever loving mind what happened that made him go we live in extravagance do we need to go camping for a while to fix this that's a big jump um yeah I mean so what right now we're at a pretty good place where we're bringing I think bringing in 7,000 a month takehome together and our mortgage is 1,500 a month we have 220,000 left on the unpaid principal so you don't have too much house are you saying square footage wise you just have too much room because the payment is not the issue no our it's a 1,400 foot house it's not extravagant is he scared of something um I think he can he it's hard for him to kind of keep just going with the plan and those fast those fast things that get us to pay stuff off quickly what is the plan are you guys trying to pay off other debt no we don't have any debt so where where's all of your money going that he feels so stressed um I don't know I well it's a good question we have about $2,000 a month in bills $2,000 a month in spending and then we could be saving about 1,500 probably I'm gonna come back to I'm G to come back to the question that George and I have both asked we've asked it different ways because I think it's something you need to get the answer to as I don't know that we can help you I think you need to get the answer to what is driving this act of desperation this feels desperate to me George am I wrong he's trying to solve a problem that doesn't exist but like there's a lot of angst in this decision yes yes and that's like I was waiting for you to go well our mortgage is $4,000 a month and I go okay I get the stress behind it or we're en crippling debt and it's going to help us get out there's no reason if you move into the trailer what's it going to do for you just have mortgage free H so we both work a good amount and I think the the hope would be that I could stay home that we would have more time at home as a family and it's just been really busy so maybe there's stress coming from that yeah but you understand what I'm saying that I really think you need to have a some some walk time let's hold hands and walk somewhere let's go to a dinner and just say hey it's okay whatever the answer is but can you tell me what's really behind this I think you got to get in you don't know and I'm not guilting you on that I'm just saying I think you need to know because to that point once you get to the bottom of what's really going on behind this now we can begin to address what our viable options are I just don't think it's viable do you think it's viable to move to the trailer I can usually go with the flow but it's not something I want to do that's not your picture of I want to stay at home and live in a $3,000 trailer and raise this child yeah let's not go with the flow you're going to resent him inside of two years you will resent him for that won't you tell the truth yeah that's probably that's probably true it's not probably true it's completely true you're a very nice woman my gosh you're nice so if the goal is I want to stay at home let's then figure out okay how do we make this happen sustainably does he need to get his income up in order to still cover all the bills if you lose your income let's figure that part out before we go Napal and go we got to live in a trailer to make this all happen Okay how much do you bring home a month I'm only uh I'm about 2900 a month he's about 4,000 or more depending on overtime I think George makes a really good point there I I think it'd be worth a conversation to see what over time let's not rush this cuz he sounds like a guy who's just he wants to solve everything tomorrow and by the way I I I I get that I got a little bit of that in me like I always want to solve everything super fast and that ends up stressing my wife out instead of being helpful she's like you're stressing me out you know I get that so I feel him a little bit there but I just wonder George uh if the conversation I want to know what you think about this I I think they need to have a conversation about okay over time what would need to be true for us to get $2,900 more take home on his side of the aisle and you just referenced that that to me is a more healthy conversation than selling this house and moving to a trailer do you agree with that yes and do the Tactical piece do a sample budget just off of his income and go okay we can cover the bills we can invest we might Slow Down the House payoff process are we willing to make that compromise cuz the truth is you probably don't need to spend two grand we're probably living pretty comfortably and so he doesn't want to change his lifestyle but he wants to uproot the entire family and move into a trailer and so I'd rather see different sacrifices to make the stream come true and you might find doing the budget we can do this today or you might find he needs to make $1,000 more a month for us to hit our goals great now we have a very clear career goal that Ken can help with you see that difference there yeah yeah that is a big difference but again I don't think Liz that any of this conversation will register until you both have an honest conversation and he feels safe and he finally burps out if you will why he's really scared do you know what I mean he's got to get that out of his system and you've got to hear it not belittle it um you've got to be a supportive spouse on that and and make him feel seen and heard and I think that'll calm him down a little bit and then we begin to talk about as George just said other options to alleviate the same issue okay and by the way this also includes you being honest with him to say this isn't an option babe I don't want this quality of life I'm I will resent you this is not viable like he needs to hear that yeah you know not yeah I mean if I have to I'll go with the flow let me tell you what most dudes hear when we hear that oh she's in I mean we're idiots on behalf of all men we don't hear what we need to hear sometimes and I'm just being CLE I mean I I'll be honest maybe George is more in with it's not you being a jerk it's just saying here's my side here's how I'm feeling about this and he needs to you know you both get a vote in this marriage yeah so you know just a good conversation and let's talk through some options helping think through those options he saw a cheap trailer on Facebook and went this is the ticket this is it is there it's guy 101 it's it's it's a male classically thinking oh super quick solve how about this he can buy the trailer he can live in it you stay in the house there we go I don't think that's the kind of relationship advice we want to give we'll talk about it during the break create your free every dooll budget today the simplest way to budget for your life