Do Cats Miss Us When We Leave the House?

Dear Jackson, there's a question I've always wanted to ask you. Does my cat miss me when I'm gone? I mean in a way it makes me feel really nice to know that I'm missed but in another way it makes me really sad because I feel guilty and I wonder if he's just really lonely. So if you could answer this because I don't want my cat sitting there going stupid human left me or where is my human I think I'm going to die. It really makes me feel bad about my life. Okay so I made up that last part but very sincerely cat lover. Well cat lover today we're going to talk about answering that question. Does your cat miss you when you're gone? Well the answer is yes and no. Video over bye-bye. Meow. We answer all of these questions. There is some black and white and a whole lot of gray especially when it comes to cats. So the first thing that we have to sort of get out of the way is what do we expect from our cats? Let's face it for the most part of the human and cat continuum it was all about a mutually beneficial relationship. Cats were really darn good at getting rid of the mice and the rats and the other animals. It stretched from back in those times to the ships that carried humans over to the new world to the farms and the bodegas where cats can live and work now. But somewhere in there we also began to see cats as pets. We started bringing them in from the farms from the sort of rural culture they existed in and then they became part of our home doing a lot of the same thing. The more cats live with us and are born into human homes the more dog-like they become. The less feral they become. And I think that in this sense we tend to fall victim to what happens when we compare cats to dogs. Looking at cats through dog-colored glasses. Dogs are not only known to have secure and insecure attachments to their human guardians but that's the way they're quote-unquote made. They have co-evolved with us over time. We have bred them with certain traits but uniting all of this is that connection that It's all summed up in the movie Up because in the movie Up, if you don't know about this movie, at one point it's a grumpy old guy and then at some point he's like I'm gonna escape all this and he attaches balloons to his house and the house takes off. And right when the house is in the air suddenly there's this persistent knock on the door and he opens the door. It was hiding under your porch because I love you. Doug is dog and that's dogs with their attachments to humans and we think that cats don't have those attachments to humans and of course that's what gives rise to all the stereotypes about cats over the years. That they are, what's the magical word, aloof. I say aloof, you're like jerks. Independent. Overly independent. They don't care about us. They're just sarcastic little dogs. Whatever they are, they're not that. You know what makes this channel tick? Your subscription. It doesn't take much. I have recently found out that 70% of you guys who watch this channel do not subscribe. Why is that? There's a little button. You press that button, it says subscribe. Next to it is a bell. You hit that bell so that you make sure that you know when I'm going live, when there's a premiere, when there's all kinds of fun things that might be going on. Then you hit the bell as well. It takes you two seconds. Much shorter amount of time than me telling you to do it and you will make me happy and you'll make this channel more successful and that's what we want so that we continue to bring you great stuff so please subscribe. Interestingly enough, there has been one study done that showed that yes, cats can have secure and insecure attachments to their human caregivers much the same way as dogs and children. I want to touch on bottle babies for instance. You don't know what a bottle baby is. That's a cat that from the time they were neonatal, days old, they didn't have a cat mom. They were raised by incredibly generous and sleep deprived humans who nursed them around the clock and socialized them. This is in my experience. There has not been an official study done on this that I'm aware of. Bottle babies then wind up with very sort of human-like characteristics. They respond to human social cues in a way that others might not and so that attachment that they could they could form to us is much stronger because they identify with their human caregivers in a much more maternal way than they would if they had a cat mom with them. Then we talk about the other part of cat social development. What is called referred to as the sensitive or critical phase of social development which goes from about two to nine weeks of age. This intense period of social exposure that allows kittens to learn a ton and they retain that ton of social learning for the rest of their lives. So whether they are with their moms and their litter mates for that two to nine weeks and they learn how to play and they learn how to get along with other cats or they don't. If they're not exposed to humans at all in that two to nine weeks, they don't have this period of imprinting with humans, they're going to be more standoffish. They're going to be a little less easy to trust. They're not going to have that demonstrative you know sort of attachment to humans or they might not. See how how much depending on how much a nine week old kitten is exposed to a human informs how much your kitten may miss you. I'm putting quotes around that because missing is very subjective isn't it? Because it could be a lot of other things but that's the thing. I mean your cat will express it differently. You know is your cat a velcro cat? Is there you know wherever you are they are. You know whatever whenever you look down the cat's looking at me. They're always with you. That gets me into my final thing here. When it comes to missing you, can they miss you? Of course sure. You know especially if you're working long hours and for all of you guys who have found yourself working from home for the past couple years and now you're going back to the office. Yeah man your cats can definitely miss you but they can miss you in sort of a healthy way. Oh the person's gone. All right what am I going to do now? And usually sleep or look out the window or your cats can also have separation anxiety and that's something really serious. Separation anxiety is something from a when it comes to you know the the spectrum one to ten of like panic. Separation anxiety can absolutely go to an eleven where within 15 minutes of you leaving the house your cat is pacing. They're over vocalizing. They're getting destructive. The things that might smell like the both of you like your bed or the couch your cat will start pooping or peeing on that that furniture because they're so insecure about your absence. Check out this video right up here. I go much more in depth about it but in terms of just like you feeling bad about about being away from your cat and what is my cat doing all day and do they miss me? Do they hate me? There's that little piece of codependency. I can tell you about the one sure thing that I know that really helps this thing. It's what I call the three R's. Routine, ritual, rhythm. The idea being that their sort of ups and downs energetically correspond to yours. We do that through things like feeding meals and we do that through play time at a certain time every day. That way what we're doing is training their body clocks to go down when you leave for work let's say in the morning so that after that morning up and the morning meal and maybe even some morning play and then you leave the house then we're getting their body into sort of a sleep pattern where they will sleep a lot during the day. They'll find their sunny places where you have put out beds and cat trees and all the sunny spots in the house. You have given them enrichment, what I call cat tv, bird feeders outside or at least spots in the window where they can watch traffic even because cats will most likely sleep or look out the window all day. Then when you come home their body is ready to come back up again. Meals and as you're busy they're busy you go down to sleep they go down to sleep. The three R's I've done many videos about that. You can also read all about the three R's in this book. This is Total Cat Mojo. I am really proud of this because over the 30 years I've been working with cats I've written four books but this one pretty much covers all of the bases. So check this out you can get it at any bookseller you can get it on my website pretty much anywhere else at this point check it out. And listen not for nothing but if you're really feeling bad about what your cat is doing all day and you think they're lonely and that they miss you then one other thing you can do it comes back to the old adage or at least old in my book is two is better than one. If you've got a solo cat really consider getting your cat a friend. I mean if you ever have the choice and you're bringing home a kitten absolutely bring home another kitten. But even as adults they can they can not just bond with but feel the comfort of being with another being while you're not at home. So if you're feeling bad about that add another to your family you'll be saving a life in the meantime. So have I answered your question for you? Do you feel a little less guilty when you leave your cat or have I shed some light or whatever? Hopefully hopefully and hopefully you will continue to give me ideas for new videos down here in the comments and also you'll say you know what Jackson that was a great video. Subscribe because that is what we call the give and take of the YouTubesphere. Anyway everybody I will miss you when you leave me. Are you going to miss me? Okay until next time everybody. Wait don't leave me. Okay all right you hang up first. No you hang up. No you hang up. Light love and mojo to you. Meow.