Jennifer Lawrence Has Stomach Issues | Letterman

Ladies and gentlemen, our first guest, an Academy Award winning actress who stars in the eagerly anticipated film The Hunger Games Mockingjay Part 1. It's in theaters on November 21st. Here's the lovely, the luminous Jennifer Lawrence, everyone. Look at that. Beautiful. You look great. Can't help themselves. Jennifer, Jennifer. How you doing? Good. I loved meeting Gabe and Justine backstage. Yeah. How do you know these people? Justine has been like one of my best friends for like, I don't know, seven, eight years. Not a friend from Kentucky, but more contemporary. No, we met out in LA. She was my friend's roommate. And I won't say on air what the first words I ever heard fly out of her mouth when she like flew in the room. But it solidified our friendship. I was like, you, me, forever. So she enters the room and some phrase is uttered. Yeah, two of the most inappropriate things you could ever possibly say. And we hadn't met. So I was like. Oh, right off the bat. Yeah, let's be together forever. Okay, let's say two words. Let's get an apartment together. Two words, right? First initial. S-H. First initial is S-H. It wasn't. No, no, no. No, no, no. I wasn't. You said initial. And I was just thinking on my own. Yeah, it was. First letter. Huh? Don't say it. I'll guess it. Just give me the first letter. First word, first letter. I have to S. S, okay. All right, second word, first letter. Second word, first. I'm too nervous for this. Second word. Second word, first letter. F. I'm on so many antibiotics. I can't. My whole brain is blank. You don't know what it's like to come out and be on your show. Everybody's like, ah, but I can't see them. It just sounds like noise. And now you're like quizzing me. I'm a top star. I didn't go to high school, Dave. I'm on antibiotics. Yeah, God, again. All right, so your friend, we'll just pass through this once more, and then we'll let it go. I don't want to do this. You're in the room, and in comes your friend, Justine. And in comes this Italian meatball with curly hair. Right, and she says two words. It was two, like, sentences. Oh, two sentences, uh-oh. With bad words implying. I thought it was two words. Oh, no, I'm sorry. All that was that huge misunderstanding. I'm sorry to waste everybody's time. I'll just get out of here. All right, so what did she say? I can't tell you what she said. Oh, no, just tell me. Just tell me, and then I'll see if it's suitable for the audience. I'm sorry, we really can't. Wow. It's like having the president's wife on. That was unbelievable. Oh, my God. I know, so you can see where I opened right up. Did both those things happen? Um, yeah. Oh, my God. Yeah, they did. They both did happen. Thank God. How about that? Yeah. Wow. Well, let's just think about that for a second. We'll be right back with Jennifer Lawrence. You know what? Since the last time I saw you here, two things. I had an upper and a lower in the, what do they call it? Oh, the Indian. Yeah, I had those. Indian. Because of you, I went and had the top and the bottom, the upper and lower. I made you want to cleanse out your bowels. Well, no, because you were having stomach problems, and I thought, holy crap, I better go, and it was a wonderful experience. It really was. Well, thank you for that, and it was so good, I was hoping that I'd have to come back monthly. But they said you don't have to come back for five years. Oh, really? Josh and I were talking about getting colonics together, but we were like, can we get a couple's colonic, but like platonic? Like a platonic colonic? Do you guys have those? Yeah, I bet they do. But you were okay. Everything turned out to be fine, right? Everything was fine, yeah. I think that I had the ulcer for so long, and I was just kind of treating it. Was there actually an ulcer? Was there really an ulcer? Well, this is my theory. I think that I had a month before I could actually go get the end-tiver. So I went off coffee and alcohol and sugar, and oh, it was awful. And so I think that by the time they saw it, it was gone. But I can't accept that I'm crazy. Well, I thought nobody said you were crazy. Are people saying you're crazy? Maybe they're just in my head. The voices in your head are telling you you're crazy. That's nothing. But I don't believe them. They're always talking nonsense. But now let me ask you this, another anatomical question. Could they see signs of an ulcer existing? They said that there was blood in my stomach, which could be an old ulcer healed up. But an ulcer is caused by bacteria, isn't it? I don't know. I just, you know, go to the hospital all the time, but I don't actually pick anything up. I haven't started learning anything. A bit of hypochondriasis? What's that? I have it. What's that? I always think that I have something, and then I go and have tests. That does sound familiar. But I just don't think I have that either. But is there a test for it? Is there? I did have, I did just have strep throat when we were in Austria doing press, and it was like the first day, and we all got so sick. And I like woke up from this fever haze, and I was like getting like an IV with like antibiotics or something, and my doctor was like 18 or 20, wearing ripped Converse and jeans and a shirt that says, a real woman never lets her man leave hungry or horny. And I was like, whose little brother is giving me an IV? This was in Austria? Drug dealer. Austria. Yeah, in Austria. In the tradition of Sigmund Freud. Now, tell me about, is this the first time on film? Oh, here's the other thing I wanted to tell you. Since the last time you were here, I went to see the Silver Book play linings. Silver Linings Playbook. That was tremendous. Thank you. I loved that movie. Thank you. And I hope you'll make other movies like that. Not exactly like that, but like a nice movie. You tell me what to do and I'll do it. No, no, no, no, no. I don't want to tell you what to do, you know, but I enjoyed it. Oh, thanks. Now, in this movie, is this the first time on film where you sing? Yeah. Sorry, that took me to a very dark place. I do not like singing in front of other people. It's like my biggest fear. I cried on set that day. Apparently, I'm crying all the time. Yeah, no, that was awful. I'm like scarred from my childhood, because I have a mother that used to, a southern mother who would just tell me that I was amazing at everything and that I could do everything, but I can't. And I have a really bad, and I have this voice, like this tone-deaf Amy Winehouse, like, ugh, voice, when I was like eight. And so I sang in front of the school, because I was like, I can do that, I can do anything. Do you remember the song? Have a holly jolly Christmas! And my dad, for the entire week, I would hear him around the house like, ha ha ha, have a holly, like, imitating me. I was like, oh, God. Yeah, I'm just, you know, I hate it, I hate it. So, now, you got to sing in front of the crew and the cast and everybody in this movie. Yeah, it was awful. What is the song you're singing? Something particular to the film? The Hanging Tree, which is where I felt like going. The morning I showed up. Now, let me ask you this. I don't know how to say this exactly. Did they, when I go see the movie, and I see you singing, am I hearing you singing? Yeah, weirdly. But I don't know, I put my fingers, I still haven't heard it, but everybody's told me. That it's you. That it's me, because I was like, will you guys please get, you know, Lorde to really sing it. Mm-hmm. In lip sync, you know. Right. And they said, no, it's really your voice, so I avoided that scene. So, how would that go? What do you mean? The song. Oh, I don't, oh my God, you're trying to get me to sing? No. No, I'm not. This is the second time I've threatened to walk off. You threatened to walk off? No. Never. And a holly jolly Christmas And a holly jolly thing And here comes Santa down the chimney And a holly holly thing And a glass of beer I can't move my arms in this costume. Hey, you got a house. You bought a new house. Congratulations. I did, thank you. Is this your first, are you a new homeowner, first time? Yeah, it's my first house. That's great. I think you can't possibly regret it. It's a lovely thing to do and have your own home, and it's nice. Okay, good. I have so many regrets. How long have you had the place? I guess, like a month. Maybe, I haven't moved in yet, though. Is it California? Yeah. Big, huge, movie star kind of a house? No, it's small. It's like good enough for, I mean, good enough, it's good enough for me. It's just like big enough for, you know, me and some change. How many square feet? I don't know, 50? 50 square feet. 55? What's the square root of a house? That's a whopper. I don't ask questions like that. I only ask, is it haunted? Did anybody die? No. How do I turn the heat up? Now, you don't believe in the hauntings and stuff like that, do you? Of course I do, I believe in anything unrealistic. Really? I have, first of all, I've had a ghost, I've been haunted by a demon, so I'm... What does that even mean? I don't know what that means. I had a ghost when I was visiting my ex-boyfriend, Nick, in Namibia, in Namibia, in Africa, and, like, we would turn off all the lights, and we'd turn the burglar alarm, like the, you know, motion detectors, whatever, on and go up to bed, and then it would go off, and the burglar alarm would go off, and then we'd both walk down the stairs, and then, like, a lamp would be on, or, like, the oven door would be open, and then Nick would just be like, oh, well, I guess that's it, and go back to bed, and I was like, oh, hell no! No! It was all night, like this. And then everything that followed probably was in my mind. Two things here. One, flattering impression of the ex-boyfriend. No, that's... And two, faulty wiring. Okay. Motion detector? Stuff like that goes off all the time. Yeah, I don't know. Well, this new house that I moved into is covered in, like, crystals. Like, the woman before had, like, a crystal person come. Yeah. So everybody who's come into the house since I've owned it thinks that I'm an unrealistic crystal person. Mm-hmm. And so then I was, like, talking to my friend, I was like, get these out of here. Like, I don't... What do they do? And she's like, I can't move them. No. They'll hex you. That's right. And I was like, what? And then my dad told me, because he came out to do construction on my new house, which is so cute. That's creepy. I know. And he told me that the fountain in the back was turned off because it was taking prosperity from the former owner. So... I don't know what that means. I don't know what that means either, but I don't want to turn it on. Well, no, the crystals... It sounds like a terrible fountain. The crystals, that's bad mojo. But now tell me a story about your dad, because I know people still live in Kentucky, and I know people drive by looking for your house. Right. People still live in Kentucky. Yeah. Well, your family still lives there. Yeah, they do. Part of them, your dad. Yeah, my family has been hilarious with the fame thing, because they haven't changed at all, which is great in theory, but there are some changes sometimes that need to be made, like when somebody comes up to the front door and is like, is this where Jennifer Lawrence lives? And my parents are like, yeah, she's our kid. She lives, she's up there. You know, or like... When I read that Jennifer Lawrence's grandmother does exclusive interview, and it wasn't true, but like, I don't know. I can totally see my grandmother just being like, oh yeah, things are great. She's dating a new guy. You know, just like going on. She didn't. It was a fake interview. But you wouldn't want it any other way. You want your parents to be your parents. The people that supported you. Yeah. The people that were around you. The people that helped you become who you are, for God's sakes. Yeah, of course. God, you're making me feel like a butthead. I didn't mean it in a bad way. I didn't say you meant it in a bad way. I'm just trying to be avuncular. What? You should have that looked at. Definitely. Now, this will be the third Mocking Hunger Games, and then... I get them confused, too. And then you have one more after this? Yes. But you're all done filming. Yeah, we filmed them all at the same time, so whenever I talk about the movie, I have no idea which movie I'm talking about. Yeah. If I'm being honest. And you've built quite a tremendous franchise. These things have made, the first two, over a billion dollars, for God's sakes. And as I always like to ask you, are you getting a little taste? Oh, yeah. And as I always tell you, yes. Yeah, good. Will you ever take some time off? Yeah, I took some time off. I lost my mind. It was awful. You mean the time off made you a little edgy? Oh, my edgy? Yeah. I just went like, oh, my God. I don't even know how to explain how crazy I went. Yeah. Or like what happened. I have a little of that. I'm worried that I'm retiring. Maybe you heard. Don't do it. I don't want to. Just keep doing this until you die, and I'm going to do it, too. Yeah. I feel the same way. And we need you. Because I'm sitting at home a couple of weeks ago, and it's Tuesday, and the next thing you know, I'm watching Ellen. And I thought, oh, this is not right. No, this is not good. So we'll look for another project. Do you have hobbies? Do you play golf? You play golf, right? I'll go to the driving range and drink some Budweiser, but I don't play golf. But the driving range is the best. That's the best. Because golf is a complete waste of time. But get up there and whack out a bucket of balls, that's the best. Yeah, that's great. I'll do that. But hobbies, I don't know. Yeah. I mean, I've been trying to find... I want to go fishing. The only person that'll go fishing with me is my best, one of my friends' boyfriends, but we don't want her to come, because she'll be a pain on the camping trip. But then we're both like, well, we can't go on a camping trip together, so we're trying to work out the logistics. I'll take you. The semantics, you know? I can take you. Okay, I'll go with you. Yeah. And security. Yeah. What? Nothing. I didn't say anything. That's funny. Because I heard that. I heard that. I was told your hearing was bad at night here. No, no, it's fine. I'm sorry. Believe me, there's a lot of me that's bad, but not the hearing. Okay, now, Mockingjay, it's a fictional bird that's symbolic in the film. Yeah. Sorry. I don't know why. I just got the giggles. Yeah, it's all right. But there's funny parts in the movie, right? Yeah, Elizabeth Banks is hilarious in the movie as Effie. My character is not like a bucket of laughs, though. Well, you're the thing. You're the guy. You're the human. It's all on your back. She is the most masculine one in the whole film. That's not what I meant. You know, I just misspoke. No, but I mean that. Where do we go from here? He keeps trying to get me to talk about the movie, and I'm not going to do it. I've been doing it all week. Oh, you don't want to talk about it? Oh, no, I'll talk about it. Let's show a clip. What is it going to be? Oh, you know what I saw in the trailer? You got an arrow, a bow and arrow, and there's the fighter jets coming, and you only got the one arrow, and so you shoot the one plane, and it careens into the other plane, and they both blow up. And I said, that's reminiscent of the 7-10 split in bowling. And then... That was what inspired us for that scene. Mary, in my office, looked up the 7-10 split, and we watched 7-10 splits all afternoon. Can we get a 7-10 split here? You do kind of have hobbies. Can we get one loaded up and ready to go? Is it ready? We should do a split screen and really kind of see what the hell he's talking about. Do you know what I'm talking about with a 7-10 split? No. But you know what I'm talking about in the trailer. That I know, that I've seen. Are you talking about... So, the pins. I can't move. I'm Chris Farley. Fat guy in a little coat. Does it just... Does it split down the middle, and then the two pins are... Let me see. And then there's like a path made? What is the clip here? Where do I look? What? Oh, me! Oh, God! I do this every time. No, no, no, wait a minute. He asked me what the clip is, and I assume he's talking to somebody else. I want to see the trailer. Sorry, this clip is... Can we see the trailer where the planes... PETA's missing. Wait a minute, wait a minute. I'm running the show. Huh? I just saw it this afternoon. We have to show the trailer. I'm so sorry. Okay. Are we... Now? Should I say what it's about now? What do you want to do? You want to... I don't know what you want to do. You want to get out of here? Good night, suckers. Bye, everybody. Do I explain the clip? I'm so good at hosting. In this clip, I'm... I discover that PETA is alive. I want to show the 7-10 split. All right, fine. Look at this. Oh, cool. Yeah. See? Yeah. Oh, my God. That was fun. Thank you so much. Thank you. Good luck with your intestines. Thank you, and yours. All right.