Kate Winslet on her style, career and confidence learnings: Life Lessons | Bazaar UK

Hi, I'm Kate Winslet and I'm here with Harper's Bazaar UK to share some life lessons. What have I learned about style over the years? I think probably what I have learned is that the more relaxed and comfortable I feel, the more confident I am and that is actually quite a critical thing to have learned because when you are on a red carpet and you're wearing a dress that is corseted and boned and you have to stand, pose and sit in it for very long periods of time, it's important to feel comfortable otherwise you just are wishing the occasion away and just desperately want to get home and put your pyjamas on and that's not the right way to feel. You should feel like you can wear something with confidence and own it and enjoy being out and enjoy being part of the occasion. My personal style has evolved, I mean in a funny way, I almost feel like it hasn't evolved that much. I've always been the kind of jeans, comfy t-shirts, a nice jacket kind of a girl. I have made a decision recently that I just am not going to go into shops anymore. I just find them stressful. I've always found them stressful so if anything new comes into my life it'll usually be from a shoot or something that my son doesn't want to wear anymore, usually a big oversized jacket or things that I've actually owned for a very long time and I've shoved away into storage thinking that I would give them away to one of my children at some point but I'm finding myself going back to things I've had from decades ago and really appreciating how they look now and actually that's the really cool thing. I think style now we are seeing a lot of almost sort of 80s, 90s cuts of things and yeah I still have a lot of that stuff in my life so that's useful. The best piece of fashion advice that I have ever been given, actually there are two, so the first one was rather surprisingly from my mother who loved clothes but was not particularly stylish but she said to me when I was very young, don't wear pointy high heel shoes unless you absolutely have to, they will ruin your feet. I have really took that on and I only wear high heel pointy shoes whenever I absolutely have to so that's the first one and the other piece of advice came from a really good friend of mine, Marion Hume. When I was first ever nominated for an Oscar at the age of 20 Marion said to me if in doubt when you're in LA and you haven't had time to do a full face of makeup and last minute someone invites you to a quick cocktail thing or something, black jacket, jeans, white t-shirt, sunglasses, red lippy, hair in a ponytail and you're good to go and it's brilliant advice and it works every time, it's a classic look, it's very fast and easy, no drama and I've never forgotten that. Why does what we wear matter? The honest answer to that is that I don't think what we wear should matter. I actually am a big believer in not judging other people for how they look, I really don't do that, I never comment on what other people are wearing or how they are looking physically, I think that can be extremely negative for people because some people want comments, they want validation and I think that often that can feed into potentially perhaps for some very needy emotional state when it comes to their physical self and so I try and just meet people for who they are rather than for how they look and what they're wearing, I've never done that and for me myself I just want to be me, it doesn't matter what I'm wearing. What have I learnt about beauty? There are several things I've learnt and that is that number one, women get more beautiful as they get older, for sure, because our faces become more a part of who we are, they sit better on our bone structure, they have more life, they have more history, things that I find incredibly beautiful are wrinkles around the eyes, the backs of hands, I think those things are very beautiful but I've also learnt that it's important to take care of yourself from the inside, not just what you eat and how you look after yourself from a nutritional standpoint but how you look after yourself from a mental wellness standpoint, how you feel about yourself emotionally, physically, your place within the world, how you walk through the world, how you live with integrity and sincerity, I think those things matter and those things do come out in how we look and subsequently of course how we feel and beauty is really a feeling, I don't think it's a thing that we look at. Best piece of beauty advice I've ever been given again was actually from my mum and she just said to me, darling never pluck your eyebrows, just don't do it, just don't do it and I never have. When do I feel most beautiful? I think the answer to that question is that it just changes all the time, often I will feel at my most beautiful when I'm just relaxing, I'm working on achieving the relaxing thing more in fact this year I'm doing quite a lot of that, but often I will feel at my most beautiful perhaps when I'm just at home with Ned and the children, just being my natural self I think. Self-care means to me having the time to just simply be and also having the time to be kind to myself, just to go easy on myself, you know I think as women we try and keep up with the pace of our lives and often that might mean that we get frustrated if we haven't been able to fit in, doing some exercise and walking the dogs for two hours and being there for every single sports day, matches, drop off and pick up at school and going easy on myself knowing that I simply can't achieve all of those things, that's become increasingly important to me and that has a direct impact on taking care of myself because then I feel that I'm actually putting something of myself first, which for all women is very very hard to do. Side of my career that I find the most rewarding is the being on set with other actors, it's as simple as that, there is nothing like the company of phenomenal, good-humoured actors who are resilient and stoic and hilarious and hard-working. When you're all in something together, especially for a long period of time like shooting a television series for example, which takes a lot longer than making a film, so often you'll be in each other's pockets for six months on a TV show and you all get to know a little bit about each other's lives, you also get to know how each other works best and you look out for each other in a way that is very unique and very very very specific to the acting community and that's the part I love the most. The one piece of advice I would give to someone just starting out in the industry would be just when you thought you were digging deep, dig deeper, always know your lines, always show up, be ready, never be late and just keep bringing it, never rest on your laurels, just keep going, just keep delivering and just keep learning because you can never stop learning. I have learned that friendship matters a lot and that it's okay not to have a tonne of friends, just that small handful of very special people who know you like the back of their hand and friendships among women I find as they evolve over time really matter because you really do prop each other up. I think my friends would describe me as the person you can call in a crisis and they would probably then say and I will always know exactly what to do, which is probably true. What have I learned about love? It gets better with age. The thing I've learned about confidence is that that also gets better with age. I think as we get older we've become more accepting of who we are and how our bodies and our faces change and how we learn from the lessons of life. We have to become more accepting of ourselves and of other people. I also think patience is something that for me I have learned as I'm getting older and all of those things make me feel more confident, more confident in who I am, more grounded, more accepting of myself. Throughout my career, how have I learned to know my worth and stand up for what I believe in? I'll tell you exactly how because when I first started out it wasn't the way around that women had a voice, that young women could stand up for themselves and it certainly wasn't the case that you could ever flag something you might be uncomfortable with because that would have been seen as complaining. So people within the industry and the media would often point blame at young women if they were standing up for themselves and saying I'm not sure I feel comfortable with this, could we have a conversation about it? That young woman would often be labelled as difficult or tricky or you better watch her and that is something that has really changed over time and I think with Me Too and I think the last decade within our industry we have seen a huge upswell in incredible roles for women. There are a lot of very new actresses who are doing incredible work and I think all of that really contributes to an exciting industry that is full of people who know how to use their voices and that becomes inspiring for others. Now women are using their voices in a way that is remarkable actually and that is how I too have learned my worth and how to use my voice. I think the thing that honestly empowers me the most of all is going on a trip that involves several different components to the journey. So for example possibly a train ride followed by a boat maybe followed by a plane somewhere in there and then another boat and perhaps a taxi. So often doing trips like that where I could sure make it easier on myself and probably find other ways to have a more comfortable version of that trip but I know I feel empowered at the end like yes we did it, we got here, we haven't lost anything, we've got all the animals, all the freezer packs actually stayed cold and we haven't lost a child and everyone's fed and nobody needs the loo. We made it! Those are the things that honestly make me feel truly empowered outside of my job and I get a real kick out of those kinds of experiences and I want to pass them on to my children as well because I think it's a very important way to learn in life and it's an important part of life. The best piece of life advice I think I've ever received from another woman was probably from Emma Thompson when I was younger and she said to me listen babe just remember it's really important to do good work but it's also really important not to work. And I've never forgotten that. That was me Kate Winslet for Harper's Bazaar UK and thank you so much for listening to my life lessons.