opening up about our biggest regrets | unedited conversation

Well, hello you guys. Welcome back to our channel. Welcome back to the channel everyone where we're filming from our car. This is the first time we've been in the car without baby boy. Yeah, it feels honestly so strange. My mom. You've been in it because you've like run errands but I literally have not been in this car. Yeah. And sat in this seat yet. Yeah, which is weird. So we're gonna try to keep this quick because we miss him already. We definitely feel like those parents where it's like we're away from him for 20 minutes and we're like, I wonder what he's doing. He's sleeping. I'm like, I miss you. Yeah, so my sweet mom's over there helping right now. But we're bringing to you a video that is on our biggest regrets where I'm sure I'm gonna even think of more. I have so much more. I just wrote a couple down. Yeah, so we're just gonna jump in. Obviously, you know, these are things that we've learned from, praise God. So very thankful for that. So I'm not walking around with this like undying just upsetness where I'm just like, oh, I can't believe I did that. You know what I mean? But yeah, so I'm gonna jump in with my number one. Okay. My number one is pornography. I fell into that trap at age 14 and it's just, it's not a good place to be. It's not a good thing to fall into and especially because I wasn't a believer. I had no remorse about it. I had no feelings that it was bad. So I just, you know, partook in that for so long and it is definitely become a piece of my life where even whenever I am having victory over it, it's something that you still like battle daily. Yeah, and it's kind of like, you know, this is not a fair example, but I'm just using one. It's like when you think about alcohol and alcohol, you think about alcoholism and like, you know, struggling with that. It's like you always struggle with it. There's always that pool and so I think that that's probably one of my biggest regrets. I wish I would have never, ever, ever seen it and never fallen into that because what it truly does is it gives you this false sense of intimacy that's not real because whenever you do partake in that and then the act that comes along with it, your brain releases the same chemicals as if you are actually having sex and but you're not. You're alone and so that's something that should be alarming that we can kind of trick ourselves into feeling something and because we can control it without that emotional connection, personal relationship, that's very dangerous because you can start to abuse it and it becomes highly addictive and it just becomes this thing where, you know, it's just so unhealthy. It's such a trap from the enemy because sex is such a gift from God and that's what the enemy does is he wants to take the good things from God and distort them and make you think that you want the distorted version of the blessing versus the actual blessing that brings life and there's like good fruit that comes from it. There is absolutely no good fruit that comes from watching pornography but the enemy will try to trick you with lies and temptation that he'll make you think that's what you want but in the reality, nothing good comes from it and it'll only leave you with shame and regret. I'm gonna say one more thing on that and it's so isolating because you do it in the privacy and so you're afraid to admit it or confess it and that's honestly why I share about it every so often. You do it in the darkness. Because it is. It's in the darkness. Tori and I just talked about that in one of our podcasts where we just talked about how the enemy's goal is to isolate you from the love of God and from the love of community and that's one of the easiest ways to isolate somebody and so anyways don't you know if you are struggling with that you absolutely need to develop a plan with community to work on working through that and don't stop working on it. Don't just think oh I'm done you know I got it no no no no. Have accountability for sure. All right you're up. My first one is not listening to that still small voice that I now know was always the Holy Spirit working in me. I got saved as a young kid and I always knew the Lord. I have always had a relationship with the Lord but I have this spirit of rebellion on me truly. I'm like already praying against the spirit of rebellion over Micah because I just I really like developed that in my early teen years. A lot of y'all have heard my story like going from private school to public school etc and that was just a really hard transition for me and I really like did not listen to that voice. There were certain things that I was doing losing my virginity really early and whoo man talk about shame and regret like that is one of those things and it all came from like not listening to that conviction that was such a blessing from the Holy Spirit and it leads me to some other ones but my first regret is just not listening to that little small voice or my parents. Yeah yeah and it is hard whenever you have that voice in the back of your head but you also have it's like having the two like the angel and the devil on your shoulder right it's like we have to take our way out whenever we're faced with that but my number two let me make sure I got it right this one is this is like a real one and it may not seem like a real one but I had really bad money habits as as a younger guy I you know in college you're not making any money or at least I had a few part-time jobs but it was just like trying to cover rent trying to pay bills you know just like and I had a bunch of money in student loans and so I didn't feel like I had any money and so I never lived like I did and what that what I mean by that is is that I developed really unhealthy bad money habits that whenever I actually started earning a wage like a true wage I learned how to live on so little I just spent what's left over I would just spend it and it's like I got caught in the rat race of trying to look cool by trying to travel way too much by trying to do all these things that was just really not good habits and every time my income went up so did my expenses and I was always stressed out financially I was always I never like knew how to get out of it so you just stress yourself out to try to earn more but then guess what now you want a different car you want the nicer couch or you want the better gym membership or whatever that may be and I wish I had better money habits now like what I'm doing now is as our income increases so does our income producing assets which I can do a deep dive I know a lot of you do ask finance questions but like what that basically means is is you're buying something that helps you earn more money just think of like a rental property we don't own any rental properties but that's like our goal is to save for things like that and one of the easiest ways that Tor and I do that now is we actually just buy like stocks and mutual funds and stuff like that and there's actually a company that Tor and I are partnering with called monorail where the app isn't fully released yet but you can get on a waiting list there's gonna be a link in our description and Tor and I have a really long partnership with them so we're super excited but if this would have been available whenever I was in my early 20s oh my gosh because they make it to where you don't have to you don't have to be a seasoned investor you don't have to be an expert you don't have to be all these things to get into the market because I've heard it said before that time in the market beats time in the market and a lot of us if you're in your 20s or early 30s or late teens you're just like oh well I'll invest one day but there's this beautiful thing called compound interest and if I would have started earlier you don't have to make a million dollars to become a millionaire you know what I mean you don't have to do that if you just create good money habits now and one of the cool things about what monorail does is is they allow you to create savings goals they allow you to create investment goals they allow you to have fractional shares which means that if you want to buy a company like Amazon or Apple or Facebook or whatever companies that you believe in but you can't afford to buy a whole share of them you can buy a fractional share so you can still you can still own the company without owning full shares and you can set up auto deposits where it's like what what torn I like to do is we like to take a coffee a day and that auto deposits into the account so save five to ten dollars a day with an auto deposit into an account and that's our investment money and it's just it's just mindless where you can do those things where you all you're probably spending money that you don't think that you could be saving and investing that would have a true big impact in your life but you actually are it makes it easy because I feel like for me investing is like so overwhelming and scary and I just have no idea like what it means how to do it etc and so having a company like monorail like make investing easy and something accessible and like they walk you through it is such a blessing I can't wait for it to be fully released we're currently on the waiting list which is funny but I've hearty this is gonna sound terrible I've already canceled our other investment brokerage accounts they just put such a sour taste in in my mouth yeah and what's cool about monorail is it asked is like a budgeting app a banking app and an investing app in one and it's made in America so praise God but bad money habits I if I would have it's almost like society kind of wants to keep people down and you don't know how to do this yet you know and so then you get caught in that rat race but you yeah because society wants to make employees not leaders okay um next one like all of my regrets kind of like lead into each other so it was like number one not listening to that still small voice and making decisions that I knew were contrary to what God wanted me to do so that led to listening to all of that hidden shame and the narrative that shame brought to me mentally that led me down this crazy spiral made me question my identity made me see myself through a lens that was distorted that was not through God's eyes like I had such a hard time seeing myself as pure because I wasn't living pure and I kept going to God and being like Lord I'm so sorry like please forgive me but in the back of my head knowing I was gonna make those decisions again and it was just like such a dark season of my life and I wasn't fully embracing the freedom that Christ offers from sin and so that hidden shame really like took a toll on who I believed I actually was and it really did make me isolate from godly community because being around godly community brought this conviction I didn't feel good enough I didn't feel worthy to hang out with people who were living that way so instead I started hanging out with people who were living the way that I was living because sin loves company and if I could compare my sin to their sin that made me feel better about myself and I just so regret like listening to the hidden sin and or listening to the hidden shame and then what it did to my life and what happens is is whenever you're feeling that shame and I won't make this super long but yeah it makes you feel worse about yourself which will drive you further into a dark place it'll make you pick up different bad habits and then those bad habits will make you feel even worse then you'll want to get into even a deeper one instead of turning and finding that freedom that comes from Christ and then you don't you're not carrying that shame and guilt yeah that comes from your own actions you're cut you're covered by him well and that's what I wasn't understanding in that season was when I was asking for forgiveness when I was like repenting the heart posture of that is to pivot is to turn is to say I'm living this way and I know it's not the way God calls me to it I'm going to shift I'm going to make a turn turn for I was like Lord forgive me and I would stay there there was no pivoting at all and so that's why the cycle continued to happen yeah absolutely my last one I'm gonna share and we can always do more if you guys like these types of things where we just air out our dirty laundry hey you know but this is honestly let me just say this before I do my last one there's so much power and testimony there's so much power and turning your your mess into a message there's so much power in that and the enemy does not want us to share how we've come out of hardship yeah and so that's why we're willing to share certain things that may appear more vulnerable because they're real they're they're honest they're authentic and so anyways my last one is I wish that I weren't such a people pleaser and I'm I'm only now starting to uncover the true depths of why I was a people pleaser and I think it's because I was always afraid of not being admired or I was afraid of being perceived as weird or I was afraid that I wouldn't be accepted into society or whatever that may be there's this underlying fear where we all want to be around people and I basically became everything to everyone where I had no true identity myself I was afraid of who God made me because I didn't think that the world would be okay with that and um and yeah that was just something I didn't really like about myself I know a lot of us struggle with people pleasing and I do think that there's a piece of it that's admirable where we want to serve others we want to please others we want to make them happy I'm yeah you know I love changing yourself yes be yeah because what that actually revealed is that I wasn't doing it out of the goodness of my heart to be loving towards them I was doing it because I was afraid of appearing unloving to them and if you're struggling with that one of the ways that you can know that is um if you continually help someone who abuses your kindness for example if you help someone out financially and they just oh yeah I'll pay you back you know I'll pay you back and then hey man I'm short again you know and it's just continual thing where you're just afraid you you're almost well I forget the thing that people do it's where you're you're contributing yeah there's that phrase where you're like contributing to the bad habits that someone has because you're afraid of of having the real hard conversations and I wish that I were stronger within myself to have harder conversations enabling yeah yeah so if you are enabling people that can show that you're a bit of a people pleaser versus truly loving them and having some of those harder conversations yeah but I do feel like the more I've become grounded in my faith the more I've become excited about who God made me to be and now I can truly love people the way that he's called me to and not just try to do in a way that people will still like me you know what I mean and just an encouragement kind of off of that is we are called to be set apart so if our life looks exactly like the world's then what like what makes us different yeah right like what makes the church different if we're living like the world we look like the world we talk like the world we act like the world just so that we can be accepted like why are we trying to be accepted by the world when we were called to be set apart for his glory like we're supposed to reflect his light and who he was and everything that he did was countercultural so why are we trying to fit into culture and reflect the the current narrative or trend yes versus trying to be set apart for his good and his glory so anyways embrace who God made you to be and stop falling into those traps that the enemy throws at you every single day so did you have a last one I think I like low-key said my last one inside of my second one really yeah because I said my my last one that I had written down was that I stopped seeking out Christian community and I surrounded myself with people who were living the same way as me and so that was a huge regret of mine it was not like hanging out with the people that I like really wanted to hang out with because I allowed that shame to keep me from I'm having so many more pop up in my head now you know what I mean is it supposed to make a prayer yeah I have so many more popping up my head if you guys want another one of these videos let us know if you want to get on the waiting list for monorail we're gonna be new so we're gonna be doing more videos on that where I'm gonna be showing you how we have the auto deposit set up and everything and have our savings goals to where you don't have to be making insane money in order to start investing and planning for your future yeah other than that also if y'all have any regrets that you have learned from and maybe there is a message inside of the mess make sure to comment below because sometimes our like comments below our videos are just as encouraging if not more encouraging than our actual video so make sure to do that and encourage someone today yeah well love you guys love you guys and we'll be seeing you in the next video we're gonna go see Micah