Funniest NFL Hard Knocks Moments of All Time

You can hit the beach. But if you bring a film crew along you might need more than sunscreen to protect yourself from your teammates. Just to run on the beach. Flex on the back. Do that. Yeah! What's up, little bitch, huh? What are you doing? What are you doing, huh? You look fat as shit. You said 260. No, I did not. Yeah, we said 260. No, 79. What are you at? Five over. You're what? Just leave me the fuck alone. What are you? Just leave me alone. You guys don't fucking watch this guy? Leave me alone. He's buying Pop-Tarts. Does he really? Yeah, no Pop-Tarts. Had one the whole time. One so far today? The whole train hit. Wow. Okay. See, you're going like... I said I was going to kick you in the nuts if you weren't under 270. I can't do it. Why? Too much work. No, it's not. Did you stop it? I swear to God. Hey. I can't wait for the rest of the day. You guys watch this guy. Why do you have your head down? So, Shannon Shaw. I know the Baltimore Raiders have been hit with a lot of injuries. Yes, you've been hit. I've seen that special HBO School of Hard Knocks when Sarah Goose had locked the tight ends in the room. You've humiliated me on national television. So, I want restitution. Well, yeah, I knew that Goose had something to do with that. And I told Goose then, I said, Goose, I want my restitution. You didn't get it. Set hut. Do it again. My fault. Here we go. I'm not a quarterback. Obviously, you can tell. Stretch is way overrated. Did you know World War I, World War II, all those guys that fought in that war, right, they did push-ups, jumping jacks, sit-ups, climbed up and ran. But none of this fancy. Okay. Right. And they won two World Wars. Two World Wars by doing jumping jacks, push-ups and sit-ups. Two World Wars. You think they were worried when they're running across Normandy about stretching? Are you kidding me? Here we go. One, two, three and to the four. The bucks, Q's and C's coming out that door. Now we don't know how to do these rhymes. We know about pancake blocks and throwing dimes. Now the time has come for us to compete. Now we got to do it one way, one team, one heartbeat. Let's go out here and let's have a great day. Let's go out here and have a great day. And let's kick some jag****s, Tampa Bay. All right, let's go. Let's get it, guys. I felt like your, your rhyme was a little long. Maybe it ran a little over. I liked it, but then like outside from the heart. So good. I feel like my forte is the rhyming breakdown and your forte is the passionate from the heart and get everybody jacked up. When you're on the football field, you have to turn, you know, all the aggression on, but as soon as you leave and get home, you got to be that father figure, you know, that, that husband. I got Alonzo, who is five. I have, um, Karis, who is three. I have my, my junior, which is three. I have a, my daughter who just turned three as of yesterday. Um, I have another son named Tyler. That's a, he turns three in December. We got another daughter that was born October 16th named London. Another daughter was born named Leilani who's two years old. And, uh, I have my newborn with my wife. Her name is Jersey. What the hell are we waiting on? What are we waiting on? Do you want it or not? Do you understand? There's a price to pay. You can be a world champion, but not like this. Let's make sure we play like the New York jets. That's what I want to see tomorrow. Do we understand what the I want to see tomorrow? Let's go to eat a damn snack. That's a Bob, the builder, bro. You had to get that special made. No, you're being special. Man, you're going to get that. No. I ain't seen the shorts like that in a while. Except for on babies. He's got to walk through that. Hey, you gotta go to walk through it like that. Oh, I am. You say you don't want me to go to Broadway. Let's just get it up. I said that. I said that because I feel like you'll be talking during the play and I want you to respect the performers. Okay. I'll get up. I can't. I got bad news. Y'all be amazed. Hard. No, it is. How much? How good? I want to go to a Broadway show. I want to eat a carcucci board. I'll show you how to do it. That's how we do it in Fort Wayne. We got dancers. We got dancers in Fort Wayne. I'm going to show y'all. Look here. It ain't no need to scream. It ain't no need to hollow. Okay. I need you to save your energy. Yeah. They kiss the baby. Okay. Kiss the baby on three. One, two, three. Kiss the baby. You think you can stop me, period. Kiss the baby. Kiss the baby and basically a statement similar to when the fat lady sings. Basically trying to explain that when you, when you, when you kiss the baby, whatever the situation is, I mean, it's over the rest of the competition or feel might as well kiss the baby. Cause this is over. Basically. If they want to line up on you, they might as well kiss the baby. Okay. There you go. If you're not fucking hurt, you got to fucking practice all that weak shit. Don't fucking live here no more. That shit don't exist. It's contagious, bro. Like it's really fucking contagious. Fellas, listen, I'm gonna get to the chase real quick. Pretty much. Are y'all bitches? Everybody in here is a bitch cause y'all don't want to practice. This shit is contagious, bro. This shit is contagious. Contagious. Look, I don't give a fuck. If your hamstring is falling off the fucking bone, you better practice. I'm out here practicing every day. Y'all pretending to be hurt. That shit is contagious, man. You broke your hand. You better be at practice catching every pass. One handed like I do all the time. Every day. I don't give a fuck. If you broke your foot, you better be out there running routes and you better be at practice. Jesus Christ. Don't fall down. Stay off the ground. Matter of fact, I don't give a fuck if you fucking broke both feet. You better be at practice running routes and catching every pass. Wow, that's like three quarters speed. This shit is contagious, bro. Contagious. This shit is contagious. I don't even care if you can't even walk. If you can't walk, we're going to find a way for you to get the ball and still practice, man. That shit is contagious. It's contagious. That's all I want to say, folks. Is that too much? How about that one? Is this too much? That starts to get into a gray area and some guys are more hard line on that. All right. You ready? I'd go over and I'd say, Hey, man. All right. We're going to, we're going to test the face. We're going to test the face. Now the face, the face is everything. So if I'm like, that's a flag. But if I'm serious, like, that's not a flag. That's sexual. That's groovy. Somebody's got my name stamped on a hundred shake weights. Oh my God. Yeah. Somebody's busted. No question. Really happy and proud to have the shake weight product. I thought it'd be a really good idea to get every one of my teammates. One of these. Hey, get you a shake weight. What you got snacks over here? Ain't no shot of that. Here we go. There it is right there. There it is. It's actually Dustin. So I was just trying it out. Not really my thing. Oh, I'll give you a half hour to cut that out.