When a Man Confuses You With Mixed Signals, This Will Bring Clarity

So today I want to talk about mixed signals and the two types of men that send them because that's actually really important as well. See, when a man sends a woman mixed signals, the lucky women say, what was that? You're not making any sense, so get back to me when you do. The unlucky women, also known as the ones that have fallen really hard for him, say, what was that? You like me or you don't? Wait, wait, let me open a spreadsheet and start scoring all of the signs that you're sending. Does he love me? Does he love me not? So let's see how to react when he's sending mixed signals. If you don't know me yet, I'm an author. My real name is Geert. I also use the pen name Brian Knox because it's a lot more pronounceable in English. I write about relationships, dating, or emotions. And first, let's talk about the two types of guys that send mixed signals. After breaking up with her, a man said, you are the greatest woman, I never appreciated. To his ex, true story. And to her, this was a confusing signal. So you think I'm great? The greatest woman? What? This is a mixed signal coming from a man that would be really bad for her. He's not necessarily a bad guy, but for her, he would be really bad. And his, I never appreciated you, kind of proves it, which she failed to pay enough attention to. The right guy will appreciate you as soon as you said hello and will never stop. But this is not even the most dangerous guy that sends mixed signals. See, bad men are like the shark from the movie, Jaws. You can always hear it coming. That's when the fin pops up and the music starts. Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun. It's quite hard to miss. Enter our hypothetical guy, Lucas Scott. And if you have ever seen a TV show, One Tree Hill, while growing up, then you probably know the type I'm talking about. And don't worry if you haven't seen the show. Lucas, played by Chad Michael Murray, is a soft, emotional, but physically very strong guy. Loves to quote famous authors, raised by a single mother, good looking. Looks like an athlete, but thinks like a sensitive poet or author of romance novels. That kind of sums him up in one sentence. A catch to a lot of women. They would love to be in a relationship with him. The problem for those women is that the Lucas type doesn't always know what he wants. He can tell one girlfriend, let's call her Brooke, played by Sophia Bush, that he really loves her. That she's the one for him. And mean it. Only to kiss Peyton, the other love of his life, and be really passionate about that too. And then Lindsay. And why not ask her to marry him, with the ring he used to propose to Peyton a while before, when she said no. And that's when I stopped watching, so I don't know how the other seasons go. But it's fair to say that this type, that exists in real life as well, not just in One Tree Hill, is sending a lot of mixed signals. He's the dangerous type, because every woman sees the good in him. That's because there is a lot of good in him. This type is actually a good guy that means well. He doesn't want to hurt women. He respects women. He just has a funny way of showing it sometimes. He doesn't have his act together. He's often emotionally wounded, and that makes him dangerous. Because unlike the shark, you don't hear this one coming. It's not, dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun with him. It's soft romantic music that makes you all fuzzy, and oh. See, when a bad guy sends mixed signals, it's because he doesn't like the woman he's dating, or has a relationship with. For whatever reason. He's waiting for someone better to come along, or someone sexier. He's using her. He doesn't like the way she flosses her teeth, or the brand of shampoo she uses. Whatever. And he tries to hide that by sending positive signals, so he can continue to string her along. So bad man plus positive signals means mixed signals in his case. And your intuition will sense this. The Lucas Scott type, however, is a good and a well-meaning guy. He loves women. Sometimes a lot of them. At the same time, if he sends mixed signals, he fancies the woman he's sending those signals to. If he tells her that he loves her, then it's not a trick. He actually means it. He believes it himself. But at the same time, you cannot have a deep emotional connection with him, because he's disconnected from himself. That's the problem. He's not emotionally mature yet, or he's fighting his demons from the past. Perhaps he just got out of a difficult or a bad relationship and he wants to fill the void. Now, some women that get mixed signals from a good guy, like this one here, may try to fix him. And that's pretty interesting as well. First, in my personal opinion, it's never your job to fix a guy, no matter how much you love him and no matter how much he loves you. He should kind of fix himself. And that luckily can happen. Over the years, I've helped women who were in love with this Lucas Scott type, where the man finally got his act together, and sometimes it was indeed because of his girlfriend, but not because she fixed him. He just realized that in order to keep her, he'd better get his act together and start working on himself. So in that case, she just brings out the best in him, so to speak. How's that done, you ask? Pretty simple. It's by yelling at him, nagging nonstop, slamming doors, keeping him up all night, fun games like asking him to sleep on the couch and so on. I'm kidding. It's by detaching yourself from him, by, now listen closely, not telling him what to do, but telling him what you are going to do. And in this case, that is to detach. Look, you're sending me a lot of mixed signals. You're not making a lot of sense. So call me when you do. Now, this doesn't mean that you have to drop him altogether if he's a good guy, but it may be a good idea to not move forward relationship-wise. You give him space so he can make up his mind and you don't wait for him. You disconnect. Always remember, when a man doesn't behave the way you want while you are dating him or have a relationship with him, you withdraw and you do whatever you would do if you found him less important. And for some men, this is their big, aha, I need to get my act together moment. And don't be afraid to lose him then. If he truly loves you, if he's the real man that will be able to make you super happy for a very long time in an actual romantic relationship, then he's not going anywhere. If he does, then he wasn't the right guy to begin with. Now, when you detach, because he was sending you mixed signals, his probation period starts. Because if he likes you, he may now start to fight for your attention and your love and everything you have to offer, but that doesn't mean much. It might just be his ego. So you open your spreadsheet with the two columns, he likes me and he likes me not, and the he likes me not column should be empty. Otherwise, he's still sending you mixed signals. So what we're looking for here is consistency. If you have a date with him, does he arrive on time? If your name happens to be Brooke, does he call you Brooke at all times and not Peyton? If your name is Emily and he's about to marry you and you're both standing in front of the priest, does he say, I take thee, Emily? Or does he say, I take thee, Rachel, Emily? Emily. Okay, let's pivot back to the moral of the story. If he's stable for a couple of months in a row and he didn't give you any mixed signals or mixed messages, then you're good to go. You can move on to the next level in the relationship. I hope you find a lot of value in this video. As always, if you want more, you can find me on brianknox.com or on Amazon by typing my pen name, Brian Knox, in the search box over there. I wanna thank you for watching until the very end of this video. I always love it when you do that and hope to see you in another one.