Jennifer Lawrence Enjoys Being A Human Being

Thank you. Well, I'll get back to the movie in just a second, but I'll ask you a question. Do you pick up the gun? Does Jennifer Lawrence pick up the gun ever? I'd love to. Yes? Have you ever been cutthroat to anybody? But I would go through a lot of regulations before doing it. Yes. And if I was on the no-fly list, I would not. That's exactly right. You are known as one of the most relatable people out there. Says on television. No, no, it's absolutely true. I talked to a lot of people over the years who are professionally famous and supposedly relatable, but you actually seem like a human being. Oh, thank you. Do you enjoy being a human being? Because human beings have a lot of frailty. Yeah, they're not perfect. No. Where are you going with this? No, I'm saying you're a person who doesn't mind seeming like they're not perfect. No, I don't have a choice. Well, you could. People have publicists and everything to make sure no one finds out. Oh, they're trying. Oh, really? Yeah. Are you a nightmare for your publicist? No. I hope not. I don't think so. No. She's a nightmare. I don't know. I'm kidding. I'm kidding, I've been with her since I was 16. Oh, really? Yeah, we're like sisters. You are here with your folks tonight. I know. It's so nice to meet you guys. Their flight got delayed. So they would not. I would have brought them anyway. Sorry. I'm just saying they wouldn't be here if not. Not out of a lack of invitation. You've been here for 45 seconds, and I feel I've done nothing but attack. My whole life is destroyed. I've been dropped by my publicist. My pairs are going to be gone by the time I get back there. They're going to be like, you didn't vote us. They were in the first place. They're from Kentucky. But you're from Kentucky, too. I am. But I don't have an accent anymore. You said they're from Kentucky, like, I'm cutting the loose. I'm a star now. Well, I was doing such a thick Southern accent. I had a dream the other night that I had a Southern accent. I couldn't get out of it. And I was on set. And I was like, I can't get out of my accent. I don't know why. My accent came back. Do you have trouble? Because I lost it when I was like, you know, a teenager. When does it come back? I'm told by boyfriends when I'm yelling. And then probably maybe when I'm drinking. But I don't think I have one anymore. No, you don't sound like you have one. Thank you. You sound like you're from District 12. What's that? I have the slightest idea. I'm a 50-year-old man. Why would I know? That'd be kind of creepy. The new movie you're doing with David O. Russell, this is your third movie with him, right? What is he like to work with as a director? Is he like a touchy-feely, get-to-know-you, let's-get-like-a-pillow-fort kind of director? Or one of those? Or is he like a shouty director? No, he shouts, but never in anger. He just, I want a bigger doll! You know, he's just big and animated, but he never shouts from anger. Do you like that? Do you like that other than other directors who come in and say, let me tell you what I think? No, I work so much better with him, because I grew up doing sports. So it's much better when it's just honest. I'm like, that one was bad. Be better on this one. Like, that makes more sense to me than like, I feel like your character would be, I'm just like, do you want me to talk louder, slower? Laura, you need to hunker down. You gotta want it. You gotta give 110%, leave it all out in the field. Go down and out and I will hit you. Yeah, exactly. Do this one better, or we don't break for lunch. I'm like, okay, okay, you know. Your Kentucky accent just came back when you did that. When you talk about sports, it comes back. Now, you're playing a guy, Joy, a guy. You've got that range. Let me just say that. I'm so flattered. You've got that range. Joy Mangano, right? Yes. Joy Mangano, who invented the miracle mop. Yes, he did. Shoop, shoop, yes. Is it based on a true person? Yes, it's based on Joy Mangano, and it's the craziest parts of our film, because we say it's loosely based on her life, because we didn't want to make a straight biographical tale, and David didn't want to do that, and I didn't want to do that acting-wise. I feel like I'm doing an imitation of somebody, but all of the craziest parts of our movie that you wouldn't believe are all based on her and her life. This invention she comes up with, she makes millions of dollars off of it. Super rich. Do you have any inventions? Have you ever thought of anything to invent? Taping your Apple TV remote to a wooden spoon? Suffice? Would that count? Yeah, it sure does. Then yes. Yes. Wow. We only have 60 left. Call now, please. Robert De Niro is in this. What's he like? Because I've got him on Wednesday. He's going to be my guest on Wednesday. Are there any questions you think I could ask him, or anything you wanted to ask him, but didn't have the huevos to ask him when you were on set with him? I think I've asked him everything. Ask him, you might not be able to hear him. He's the softest speaker I've ever met in my entire life. I spend the whole time going, what? What? He makes me look like the old one. That's a trick. That's an actor trick. You talk really soft, they go, he must be full of feelings. Yeah, I know, but I think it's real with him. Ask him if there actually really is a difference in his cucumber martini between shaken and cold, and this is what he says, really, really, extremely, very cold. And every time he orders it, I'm like, can you really taste it? Can you feel the difference between being shaken in ice and being shaken in ice for a little bit longer? This is why I don't interview people. That's a terrible question. I don't know. I will ask him that question. Hand to God, I will ask him that question. Can we go back to talking about me? Absolutely, absolutely. I can't think of any questions. Now, you and Amy Schumer are buddies. We had her on the show, and she said that you are like, she loves being with you because you're like the ideal hottest version of her that she can think of. Yeah, she keeps writing this in our script, and her sister and I are both like, you're not ugly enough, and I'm not hot enough to pull these jokes off. And she was like, I know, I'm gorgeous, but I do it in standup and it works, and I'm like, I don't think it makes sense. She's got a sweet little ass, great. Oh yeah, absolutely. People think you're a nice person. You seem like a nice person. Thank you. But again, you're willing to talk about things that are unglamorous, which is nice. You're a star who's willing to talk about things that aren't glamorous. Like, I understand you got very sick making this film in Boston. Yeah, I got a stomach virus. I was puking, and the poor guy, I had to make out with somebody. And we were like spinning, and I'd start puking, and then I would like do mouthwash and be like, are you ready? Like, licking my chops. That's how you win a Golden Globe, my friend. Let's do it. Best post-puke. I puked yesterday. I'm a puker. Did you really? Yeah, I'm a big time puker. I think that I don't stop working. I'm just like, because I'm a show pony. I don't have a choice. And so I just keep going, I think, until eventually my body's just like, if we don't make her barf or pass out, she won't stop. I get like Lindsay Lohan-grade exhaustion. Yeah. But without any drugs or alcohol. I'm always in bed early, but I'm still tired. Anything we can look forward to in the next few minutes? I don't, I never know.