How to Support a Friend With Mental Illness

Is your friend suffering from depression? Maybe you're worried about them because their condition doesn't seem to improve and they aren't taking care of themselves. Depression is a severe mental illness. Rarely does someone recover from depression without treatment or support from loved ones. So even if your friend doesn't ask for help, they might need it. We understand you hate seeing them suffer and want to help them in any way you can. So to help, here are eight ways you can support your friend with depression. Is your friend's silence upsetting you but you don't know how to bring it up? The Mental Health Foundation of the United Kingdom explains there are some key points you must be mindful of when talking to someone battling depression. First is starting by asking them how they're feeling right now. Express your concern and let them know the recent changes you've noticed. Secondly, try having a conversation in a relaxed, acceptive, and unbiased environment so they feel at ease and are able to open up. Allow them to share as much as they want without pressuring them. Let them take time to express themselves because it takes a lot of courage and trust. A study conducted in 1986 by James Pennebaker, a social psychologist at the University of Texas at Austin, discovered that getting people to talk about their most troubling thoughts has a positive effect, allowing them to recover faster than people who keep their emotions and struggles to themselves. Listen carefully, empathize, and refrain from offering advice. Even if it appears to be a simple solution, understand that following the advice may be hard for them and may make them feel as if you're trivializing their feelings. You could say, I may not understand what you're feeling but I know it's difficult for you and if you need someone to talk to, I'm always here. The Mental Health Foundation also adds that even if you don't completely agree with them, validating their feelings like this will remind them that they have a shoulder to lean on. Try not to be disappointed if they don't open up to you right away. They may not want you to worry or perhaps they don't want to hurt you and believe they can handle their depression on their own. Professionals. I don't need any therapy. Has your friend ever said this? They might be reluctant because of being ashamed of their condition and wish to overcome it themselves. Social psychologist Bethany Juby says it's important to let your friend know that seeking help does not make them weak. Instead, it allows them to reclaim control of their lives. You can remind them that depression is not their fault and that it seldom gets better without treatment. Juby emphasizes that you can offer to help find potential therapists if they're struggling or hesitant to find one, but it's best if you don't force them and let them decide when they're ready. Accompany them to provide your comfort and support. If they feel like canceling or stopping, encourage them to stick with it until the end because there is only so much that you can do. Involving a professional can assist them in recovering faster and better. Patience. Everyone's experience with depression is unique. Some recover from depression in a few weeks, whereas some may take longer. Psychologists, mental health organizations, and mental health websites such as Healthline and the Help Guide agree that being gentle and patient with someone who is suffering from depression is the most important. Even finding a counselor who understands your friend's needs and provides a safe environment to open up may require some trial and error. You don't want to unintentionally hurt someone who's already struggling, do you? Venting your frustration, like saying, just get over it, it's been months now, can potentially hurt your friend even more. Instead, be gentle with them because some symptoms might appear even after successful treatment. Needs. Is your friend falling behind on their daily responsibilities? Is the laundry not taken out, or is it unusual to see their snack corner empty? It can feel overwhelming to keep track of everything for someone dealing with depression. When the household chores pile up, they may not know where to begin. Helping or accompanying your friend with their routine tasks, according to Michelle Reba, clinical professor of psychiatry and associate director at the University of Michigan, can be a great way to help them. So if you see anything specific that you can help with, let them know. You can offer to help them by restocking the groceries or organizing their room. If they don't wish to burden you with all of their responsibilities, encourage and reassure them that they're not burdening you. Cooking a meal together or cleaning the house while listening to their favorite music may help uplift their mood, make them happier, and revive their spirit. Your act of concern and love for them can assure them that they have a hand to hold if they struggle to walk alone. Positivity. Your friend suffering from depression may find it difficult to see the bright side of things. They might feel worthless, dwell on their flaws, and harshly criticize themselves. A study published in 2015 by a group of psychologists from the University of Michigan and Pennsylvania concluded that positive affirmations can redirect the neural pathways in the brain, which can help manage the negative stream of thoughts when someone is depressed. So reminding your friend of their positive qualities and letting them know how much you admire and appreciate having them in your life can help them deal with their depression. But be careful not to say things like, stop blaming yourself and crying over the past, or look on the bright side, you're being a negative for no reason. Sometimes a little encouragement is all that is required to restore their faith. A few words of admiration, warmth, and reassurance with a sweet blend of love can make all the difference to them, even if they can't express it now. Inclusiveness. If you're going to the movies with friends tonight, invite your friend who is depressed. Make an effort to keep them socially engaged by including them in group gatherings, but don't compel them to do anything. They may not want to socialize, but inviting them will remind them that you are pleased to see them. Tell them that you understand their reasons for declining the invitation to the movie and that you will be around when they are ready. This can reassure them that they haven't been forgotten and give them a new sense of hope. According to a study conducted by Diane Tice, mentioned in the book Emotional Intelligence, socializing can be effective in battling depression and reminding people that they are loved and there are people willing to help them. It helps to divert their attention away from self-deprecating thoughts. So helping them establish a safety net of people they can rely on may help keep them from isolating themselves and worsening their condition. Research. While everyone's experience with depression is different, being familiar with a few general symptoms and terminologies can help you better understand your friend. Being able to differentiate between the myths and facts about depression can help in tracking their condition. Mayo Clinic Medical Center recommends looking for signs of worsening depression so that you can better assist them during their treatment than in the event of an emergency. Did they ever mention attempting suicide? Understanding how depression could turn into something much more serious is also essential so you can take every precaution to ensure they don't harm themselves and set limits. Although depression isn't contagious, you may feel emotionally drained being around a depressed person after a while. A 2011 study found that caregivers of people with depression were more likely to experience psychological distress than caregivers of others. This is especially true if the one suffering is your best friend because the closer you are to someone the greater the impact of their well-being on you. So setting healthy boundaries for your own well-being becomes all the more essential when your friend is suffering. An article published by the Help Guide website in 2022 highly recommends that you set boundaries for yourself and take care of yourself. Eating your meals on time, engaging in hobbies that make you happy, and not ignoring your responsibilities are all very important. But addressing your own needs doesn't mean that you're neglecting your friend so don't feel guilty for prioritizing yourself because you will only be able to help your friend if you're mentally and physically healthy. Set aside time each day just for your friends and make sure to stick to a time limit so you don't overwhelm yourself and become unable to support them. You can support someone going through depression. You can reassure them that they're not alone and that they are loved. You can remind them that their illness is nothing to be ashamed of and that they deserve help. But if it's taking a toll on you it's best to set healthy boundaries. Take care of your well-being and put yourself first. Before you go we want to remind you that you are a gem of a person for helping them and a true friend indeed. Have you supported someone with depression? Let us know in the comments. Until next time, take care.