Narcissistic Supply Explained

if you've been around a narcissist you know they're always on a mission to make life miserable unless it's about them it's like they're the Energizer Bunny of narcissism they just keep going and going but just like things need batteries for power narcissists get their power to be narcissistic from somewhere too there are fuel sources called narcissistic Supply according to an article written by Dr Sam vacnan published in the Journal of narcissistic research the narcissist needs narcissistic Supply to regulate their inner Universe narcissistic Supply can refer to behaviors done by The Narcissist to generate some dopamine and stroke their ego but it can also refer to things you do to deal with being around a narcissist let's talk about some behaviors that can create this reserve of dopamine for them the Gatsby The Great Gatsby is a classic book that tells the love story of Jay Gatsby and Daisy Buchanan boy and girl fall in love boy and girl are separated boy throws weekly Mansion parties in the hope that the girl will magically show up one day to rekindle their love now let's take away the romance that leaves us with Jay throwing Weasley parties parties are typically fun occasions where the host or guest of honor is praised sounds like a dopamine field if I've ever heard of one malignant self-love narcissism Revisited by Dr vacnan is a book which explains the details of narcissistic personality disorder while talking about narcissistic Supply Dr vacanen explains that a narcissist will put in an excessive amount of effort in order to not only attract others but make themselves the center of attention so say Gatsby wasn't trying to get Daisy's attention one might argue that Gatsby was using the parties to fill his narcissistic cup he is bringing hundreds of people over for company guests will compliment him and his home and the party is at his house he can stop the party for a speech shift the mood or Doom whatever he wants it's all his by creating situations where people have to go to the narcissist or where the narcissist is the center of attention they're creating their supply the spotlight when we look at those in management a common thought is whether that person is a boss or a leader leaders are typically categorized as those who teach and grow employees who take a share of the work and give credit to the entire team as a whole bosses are categorized pretty closely to a narcissist a group of Dane researchers did a study on narcissistic CEOs where they found two important things one narcissistic CEOs crave attention and praise two CEOs are willing to take a smaller salary if they're going to get more media time 's like world's greatest boss Michael Scott always giving orders and never doing any work Dr vaknan supports this point in his book as well he argues that the dsmv actually has an error and that narcissists do love admiration this is why a narcissistic boss may take credit for something they did with a team they also May rely on their Authority and employees being afraid of them rather than having their employees respect putting themselves in a position to be praised and admired is another way a narcissist gains their supply the host in an article for psych Central Dr Sherry Steins lpcc states that narcissistic Supply can also be a form of payment given by others in order to be in a relationship with a narcissist if you have a pet with fur you may have had some experience with fleas please are a parasite that can't live without a host and will primarily Target pets since their skin is easier to pierce than ours without access to food the host blood the parasite will die this is pretty much the same relationship as a narcissist the parasite and its host you think about it this way in every good teen movie there's a popular girl and her click let's use TomTom from 13 Going on 30 as an example TomTom was the leader of the six chicks and had five other girls around her at all times to validate and support her even when she was making fun of others narcissists do the same thing by keeping you around if they know you'll support and enable their tendencies according to Affinity Psychological Services blog some things that may be an indicator that you're the supply are being manipulated by The Narcissist being demanded to do things with no consideration for you or your time or even taking credit for all the good things but never taking accountability for anything that goes wrong if you notice this sort of dynamic with someone else you may be creating their supply can be frustrating and exhausting to be around a narcissist imagine how that frustration multiplies by finding out you're helping to create that supply that sustains their toxic Behavior if you notice these behaviors from The Narcissist or you when around a narcissist it may be time to discuss the relationship with a mental health professional are there other things that narcissists do for a dopamine fix that we didn't mention tell us in the 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